Holding Hands Won't Be Enough

“Snowman!” Oscar exclaimed, pressing his finger against the glass of his window and peering out into the street excitedly, “Can we make a snowman?”

“Maybe later today, sweetheart,” she smiled, “you have to have breakfast first.” She added, checking her phone again to make sure she’d actually sent the text to let Ville know they were outside. She looked up to see herself in the rear view mirror and spotted him hightailing it towards the car, she shook her head and started the engine.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry.” He repeated, bumbling into the car and reaching behind to tickle Oscars stomach with his long finger, “If we could put pedal to the metal, I’ll explain once we’re off the street.”

“Sure thing.” She grunted, rolling her eyes as she set off quickly down the snowy street. Ville sighed with relief and settled more comfortably into his seat. “Well…” Milly half laughed.

“Do you remember how we used to get out of shoddy meetings?”

“Yes….” She nodded, recounting one of the many occasions one of them pretended to get a very important call at an opportune moment during a meeting – usually when the person holding it themselves received a phone call (on most occasions orchestrated) – and then disappeared, leaving the person to believe it was pertaining to the call.

“Well, I did that to Jonna to get out of shopping, or planning, or whatever she had in store for Oscar and I today.” He said, looking slightly proud of himself.

“You can’t shirk your responsibility forever. You’re bound to her now, Ville.”

“Well responsibility can come flooding back when you ship out, I guess.” He said morosely.

“The skies are grey enough without you adding another gothic cloud to the sky today.” She stated dryly, “And I haven’t had coffee enough to deal with it yet.”

“Why no coffee? You always have coffee?”

“You son was a nightmare to organise this morning. Too much sleep turns him into you as a teenager.”

“Eurggh.” Ville recoiled, turning to speak to his boy. “Were you giving Mummy a hard time this morning?”

“No.”

“Fibber!” she shot behind her.

“Yes.” He said guiltily. “Sorry.”

“Sorry, what?”

“Sorry, Mummy.”

“That’s better. You always have to be good to your Mummy; she’s always good to you. Isn’t she?” he nodded solemnly having not heard this tone from Ville before, “Now, how much do we love Mummy?” he asked with a big smile.

“Lots!” he giggled.

“How much?” he asked, holding his hands up in front of his face, “This much?”

“Bigger!”

“This much?” he asked again, holding them as wide as his chair. Oscar shook his head, Ville gasped, “Bigger?!” Oscar nodded excitedly, “This much?!” he asked one final time, holding his hands as wide as the inside of the car.

“Yeah!”

“That’s right!” he laughed.

“Where am I going? I’m driving aimlessly around here.” She realised after taking their third uncalculated right turn through the city centre.

“Oh, the place Mige used to bus at on Kaivokatu.” He answered assuredly. Luckily for her she was already heading down the correct street, Hels traffic in the morning was a nightmare for any driver, let alone a driver going the wrong way. Her attention swayed for a moment when she noticed Ville apparently searching for something in the car.

“What’s the matter?”

“Something’s buzzing…?” he said simply perplexed. Without missing a beat, she reached her arm across to his feet to her bag and dumped it in his lap.

“It’ll be my phone, Sir tech inept.” She half heartedly laughed, “Answer it, will you please?” he hesitated, but she nodded, assuring him it was fine to rifle through her belongings and gingerly tapped at the screen with his finger when he had located the vibrating device.

“Hei, Matilda’s phone.” He answered, “Oh, she’s driving. Yes, we have Oscar, she’s dropping us at a café before she makes her way to you…” he explained, Milly didn’t have to think twice to know it was her sister grilling Ville, “Ah, uh, okay, no problem, I’ll let her know. Thanks Sonja.”

“Everything okay?”

“Fitting has been pushed back a few hours because her maids are stuck in traffic out of town. Heavy snow apparently. She’ll call you when they’re on their way.”

“Typical. ‘Call me when they’re on their way’. What do I do with my day now? I’m not a bloody doctor, I shouldn’t be on call.” She stressed, scowling at the street looking for a park. Ville reached his hand across and patted her shoulder, she turned quickly to see him flash a knowing smile and chuckle.

“Well, you should start by getting a coffee, Dame caffeine dependent.”

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“I don’t understand this song and dance they’re doing. They’re made for each other, they love each other…” Mige sighed.

“Plot twists.” Jyrki stated stoically.

“Fix them. You made them tell each other before, fix them again, you dark wizard you.” He laughed.

“They’re old enough and ugly enough to work it out themselves this time.” He smiled, “They’ll always love each other. Love always prevails. You just have to trust that.”

“You’re an old romantic fool, Jyrki.” Linde scoffed. “She hasn’t contacted any of us in almost two weeks. She’s withdrawing, like she did before. Jonna’s fucked everything up, again.”

“We all miss how it used to be, man.” Mige comforted his friend.

“What, back when you were thinner?” Milly’s voice chorused over them, having approached them only to hear Mige kindly speaking to his friend. The three men turned to see Milly, her hair long and cascading over her shoulder, carrying her well insulated son on her hip, smiling warmly at their presence. Ville had b-lined to the counter to order coffees immediately for the both of them. The guys stood to their feet, Jyrki taking Oscar from Milly without a second thought – she smiled, she had known for years how much he longed to be a father. “Hello my loves.” She beamed, hugging Linde and Mige together.

“What are you doing here?” Linde asked excitedly, happy to see his friend.

“I was supposed to be at a dress fitting for my sister’s wedding, but it’s been pushed back, so I was dropping Ville and Oscar here and thought I could come and see you fine men.”

“You’re here with Ville?” Mige asked, tentatively. She nodded.

“Yes…”

“You guys are talking?”

“Yes.” She said dismissively, as a tactic, to not wanting to go into incredulous details of their relationship dynamics.

“I just thought- Ville said that- you know what, doesn’t matter! You look great!” he panicked, stepping forward and hugging her again, her arms caught either side of her body in the embrace.

“Oh leave her alone, you idiots.” Ville scoffed, sauntering over as he jammed his wallet back into his coat pocket. As he took a seat she gave Jyrki a kiss on the cheek and allowed him to take Oscar on his lap. “She hasn’t had a coffee yet, she will eat you alive.” Linde raised his hands either side of his head in surrender, smirking. She flicked her hand into his chest and laughed.

“Oh, stop it. I’m not that bad.” They all fell silent, “I’m not!” she laughed.

“I’m saying nothing.” Mige said wide eyed, pretending to button his mouth, “I’ve only been your friend for how many years now? And how many mornings would that equate to?”

“More mornings than I care to think about on this one, thank you.” She frowned, rubbing the furrowing crinkle between her eyes with her index finger.

“Little ray of sunshine, your Mumma is in the mornings.” Jyrki said quietly to Oscar, but not quiet enough that she didn’t hear it. She groaned and turned her head just in time to see the waitress carrying over a tray of drinks to the table. “Oh, kiitos.” She said warmly, picking up the steaming cup the moment it was set down in front of her; from the first sip she could feel her brain relaxing.

“How long until this bloody wedding that’s consuming all our time with you?” Mige said directly, he was never one to not say what he was thinking, she appreciated it, sometimes.

“Three days. I’ve finished my job, today is getting the dresses fitted and then that’s it… Or it should be, but you know Sonja; crisis, crisis, crisis, drama, drama, drama.”

“Why have your wedding on Christmas eve, eve? People have shit to do, it’s hard enough-” Milly raised her hand to stop Linde talking and shook her head.

“Just… Let’s not open that can of worms, shall we.” She took another mouthful of her coffee, glad that the sharp cold weather leant a helping hand to cooling coffees for quicker drinking. “Tell me about you guys, what’s been going on.” She smiled, turning away from watching Jyrki take delight in helping Oscar with his babychino.

“Uhhh, oh, Olivia started middle school.”

“She did?” Milly exclaimed, setting her cup down, “Of course she did, she’d be twelve now.” Linde nodded proudly, “Look at you, being a dad to a pre-teen.”

“If she’s anything like you or Milly were, you deserve every second of it.” Ville mentioned fondly, gesturing towards the two of them.

“Did we all wake up on the ‘Let’s give Milly a hard time’ side of the bed this morning?” she asked, slightly amused.

“I didn’t.” Jyrki stated dryly. A silence fell over the table - Ville was tapping his finger against the handle of his cup eager for a cigarette; Mige was staring intently at the screen on his phone; Linde perused the menu before trying to get the attention of the young waitress and Jyrki was diligently making sure the entire babychino Oscar was happily, and messily, devouring didn’t cover his entire. All the while, Milly stared into her cup of coffee as if it were to reveal to her answers on how to deal with all the thoughts that she’d been letting gather and swarm away at the back of her mind whilst she prepared for the wedding; lost in her own mind her senses heightened and the irritation of Ville’s tapping slowly crept up, awaking her own desire to satisfy her nicotine craving.

“I…” she said dragging out the vowel as she rifled through her bag, “am going to smoke.” She stood up, made sure Oscar was content, nodded and spun on her heel, heading for the exit.

“I think I’ll join her.” Ville said after a moment, his three friends exchanged the same glance.

“He was totally waiting for her to go, wasn’t he?” Linde asked.

“Oh, yes.” Jyrki smiled.