Holding Hands Won't Be Enough

"I need to get him to a doctor to make sure he’s not concussed.” Millie fretted, running her fingers through his hair as he played with some cars on the ground, sitting on Ville's lap. Ville could see the distress on her face and her mind ticking over thinking of all the things that could potentially be wrong from hitting his head so hard. 

"I'll take him to my family's doctor."

"What are you doing here, Ville?" She asked coldly. "You know how busy I would be today."

"Sonja called me and said you hadn't slept, thought I could take Oscar off your hands for a few hours." She laughed disbelievingly. 


"Sonja?" He nodded.


"I think she's wondering, as I am, why Jussi is your first contact call rather than me when it comes to Oscar."


"Don't start. Jussi offered and I didn't think twice about it, I was busy. You have Jonna and your wedding and a foetus to worry about. It was just easier. Okay?"


"You can call me whenever when it comes to him." he said bitterly.


“Ville,” she snapped, holding her hands up as if to stop some unforeseen force reaching her, “just stop, I’m sorry I didn’t call you - in case it’s escaped you I have a million things to deal with currently.” his head bowed and he sighed, realising that now wasn’t the time to take anything personally. 


"Let's get him some warmer clothes and I'll take him to my doctor, then we'll go get some French toast and ice cream before you come home and get suited up, sound good?" he directed at Oscar.


"Yes!" Oscar nodded happily, his cheeks flushed from crying still. Millie couldn't help but wince at the sight of his poor banged up head every time his brow moved. 


"And you can have a hot bath and a coffee and relax for a second.” He smiled kindly, placing his hand on hers. Initially her immediate reflex was to hold onto it but she pulled her hand away and picked up Oscar as she stood to her feet. 


"I'll get him dressed." She hurried out of the living room and was back minutes later with a warmly clothed little boy, a woollen hat covering his head from the elements. "How are you getting there?"


"Kari." He said, wiggling his mobile phone. "He's been doing laps since he dropped me off, he's outside now."

“Right.” she nodded as her heart pounded in her chest as they stood by the front door. She held Oscar closer to herself, not wanting to relinquish sole care of her hurt child over to Ville so much so that her eyes welled with tears of worry as Ville reached for him; being tired only exacerbating her upset. “No, no,” she protested, shaking her head, “I’m coming with you.”

“Sonja! The girls are back!” Heli hollered from the adjacent room, startling Millie, after having seen them pull up through the large bay window. She could hear Sonja quickly padding down the stairs to greet them at the door, only to then be met by Ville and her sister, who was now crying in place of her son.

“Millie, why are you crying?” she asked, her face struck with a horrified concern having only just seen Oscar - apparently fine - playing with his cars.

“I have to take Oscar to the emergency room.”

“No you don’t, he’s okay, aren’t you munchkin.” she laughed, tweaking his nose. “Ville’s taking him to the doctor, he’ll be fine.”

“He won’t be fine, I’m his mother and I should be taking care of him, not falling asleep because I stayed up all night making fucking flower arrangements for my OCD fucking sister.” she snapped, her breathing panicked and hands shaking.

“And I’m his father and should be taking care of him so as you can stay up all night making fucking flower arrangements for your OCD fucking sister.” he chuckled, smiling calmly, slowly moving towards her as he carefully reached his hand out and gently and reassuringly placed it on her shoulder so as he could run his thumb soothingly back and forth against her neck, “I know I’m useless and hopeless, but I can handle this, he’s my son, I want to handle this, okay…” he felt her rigid body relax slightly as he calmly spoke in his soft baritone, knowing that she always melted into relaxation when he stroked her neck from years spent doing it on autopilot as he held her as they fell asleep, “Just relax, he’ll be back in a few hours max.”

“I was thinking maybe if I give you his clothes, you can bathe, suit and boot him so Millie can get a few hours sleep, just before she gets ready? Would that be okay sis?” she nuzzled her nose against Oscar’s temple, inhaling the smell of his hair and closed her eyes - she was exhausted to the point of breakdown. She nodded. “I’ll go grab his things.”

“I’m a bad mother.” she croaked, cradling her son protectively as he drove his car up across her chest.

“No,” Ville protested forcefully, “no you’re not…” he hooked his finger under her chin to bring her eyes to face him, her tear glazed eyes looked up into his, filled with worry that lessened the moment she could feel his sincerity boring into her, “You’re not.” he repeated, “I promise you.”

“Here’s his- oh- I can give you guys a minute-“ Sonja back peddled as she walked in on what could be construed as an anticipatory moment.

“No it’s okay,” Millie said, reaching out for the bag she was holding, breaking her gaze with Ville. “Thank you.” she nodded appreciatively as she took it and handed it to Ville, before pulling back Oscar's hat gently and inspecting his head one more time, her heart broke when he bruised so this was awful to her, she took a deep breath and covered it back up. “Osi, give me a big kiss and say ‘don't be silly mummy’, you silly goblin.” He smiled and grabbed a hold of her face, dropping his car to the groung and planted a sweet little kiss on her lips, making the noise as he moved away.

“Don’t be silly mummy you silly goblin!” he said cheekily. She chuckled and crossed her heart with her pinky finger before holding it up for him to shake with his.

“I promise baby.” she smiled, wiping her eye with the back of her hand quickly, “You be good for your dad and tell the doctor where it hurts okay?”

“Cross my heart.” he said, repeating the same action of the crossing of his heart and the pinky shake. She gave him one last squeeze before handing him over to Ville.


"Call me, tell me what they say, I can be there in a instant."

"He'll be fine, please don’t worry. He's a Valo remember, he's tough. Right little man?"

"Yep." He nodded surely, more interested in tugging on the toggle of Ville jacket. 


"I'll call you as soon as we’re done." he said as they stepped outside into the cold.

"Thank you Ville." She said kindly, so thankful that he had turned up precisely when she needed him. Kari waved at her from the car and she coyly waved back before closing the door behind her. The bottoms of her pyjama pants were damp with trodden snow from the door step but she appreciated the moment of warmth and quiet the house gave her before her mother barrelled into sight. "Mum, I don't want to hear it."


"I was going to ask if you'd like a bath?" She looked into her daughters eyes and instinctively swooped in to cuddle her crying daughter. "Oh honeypot, he'll be okay..." She cooed, "he'll be just fine. He's with his dad, you know what boys are like with their dads.. Hey..." She nodded against her mums chest. 


"I'm the worst mother in the world."


"Oh darling no." She protested, "Don't you ever ever think that. You are the most wonderful mother to that little boy, he adores you."


"Ville has never seen him cry before." She wept, "He was so good and calm with him. I'm such a bitch."


"Matilda, stop it. I will not listen to this." She said grabbing Millie's shoulders and holding her in front of her so as to look into her face. "You are a superb mother, he's a wonderful child and for all that man’s staggering faults for hurting you he appears to be a wonderfully loving father to that boy. So just stop it." she demanded. “You’ve always bottled things up too long girl, you’re too much like me. You need to get it out when you feel it, as soon as you feel it, you’re too old and too smart to allow yourself to be a slow sinking ship - send out the life boats pre-emptively my darling.” she sighed, “And start by allowing one to take you to a place where your happiness comes first for once.”