Status: Live

Holding Hands Won't Be Enough

Chapter 79: Black With Red Bits

Christmas Eve.

“She’s not answering.” Ville sighed, tapping his fingers on his lap, apprehensive still to go knock on the door. His father sighed.

“You’re going to have to get over this, by all accounts, they’re starting to.” he said referring to news that Heli said they all needed to put Oscar first from here forward. Ville nodded and drew in breath sharply.

“You’re right.” he croaked, dragging his hand over his face before undoing his belt and getting out the car. Anita smiled at Kari before being startled by her door opening, “But you’re both coming with me. One big happy family, right?” he stated, waiting until his mother was free of the car to grab the hamper he had purchased for them.

“Oh Ville, now, I don’t know if Heli will like this.” she protested. Ville kindly ignored her as the three of them approached the door; they hadn’t even rang the bell when the door swung open to reveal Heli with her finger over her lips. She held the door open and welcomed them in, motioning towards the kitchen, where once everyone was inside, pulled the large doors closed behind them.

“Milly and Oscar are sound asleep, I’ve left them be as it’s the first chance we’ve had to wrap Oscar’s presents without him clambering everywhere.” she laughed fondly, clearing a space on the large table. “Kari, Anita… lovely to see you.” she said before they exchanged the polite double cheek kisses, “Please, please, take a seat, can I get you a hot drink? I can get a lovely cocoa brewing.” she asked kindly, they both nodded appreciatively. “Now Ville, what on earth is this your holding?” she asked, amused, directing her attention to the large picnic basket style hamper he was holding.

“A Christmas gift, for yourself and Juha.” he said, taken a back by her overt familiarity and friendliness as he set it down on the kitchen counter, “I couldn’t decide on one thing, so there’s a bit of everything.” he said nervously, not wanting to seem like he was trying as desperately as he was for their acceptance of his existence. She looked from the basket to him and allowed a small smile to surface, allowing him to feel the rigidness dissipate from his spine.

“That’s very kind Ville, thank you.” she said thoughtfully as she reached forward and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“There’s a bottle of the brandy Juha likes in there too.” he nodded.

“My boy you shouldn’t have.” Juha chimed happily from behind them as he entered the room holding a pile of broken branches for the fire. “Kari, Anita, lovely to see you again.”

“Juha, you’re looking as wizardly as ever.” Kari laughed deeply, referring to Juha’s long white hair and beard, and his small wire framed glasses nestled on the bridge of his nose. They shook hands firmly and jovially once Juha had unburdened himself with the kindling.

“And you’re looking just as handsome, has that ugly old painting not been discovered yet?” Juha laughed. Ville smiled watching the two men, once firm friends, reconnecting so happily, and felt a pang of hurt in his stomach from not having thought about how it had affected anyone else outside of himself, Milly and Oscar. Anita noticed her sons expression change, as only a mother could, and hopped up from her seat to move over to Heli sweetly demanding to know exactly how she made her cocoa. She looked back quickly over her shoulder from the stove and signalled for Ville to quietly slink out the door and find Milly. He politely moved past the fathers, who were too caught up in their conversation—about something Ville was quite sure would be incredibly boring— to notice his absence. He slunk out the door and gently closed it behind him; he took a deep, calming breath and a small moment to appreciate his mother, before making his way through the house. He could hear the television in the living room and smell the scent of the burning oak on the fire, slowly and quietly he pushed the door open and poked his head in, his heart fluttered.

Oscar was quietly and happily sitting in middle a big pile of pillows on the ground between the three sofas, Milly sleeping soundly on the longest of the three, one arm draped down close to her boy, who was surrounded by pens and rectangles of card and doodled away, whilst intermittently staring up at The Santa Clause movie on the television. Slowly Ville walked into the room, and his sons vision, so that he could signal to him to stay quiet and not wake his mother. Oscar’s eyes widened and smile beamed when he spotted his father, and immediately noticed Ville place his finger to his lips, so did the same. Ville knelt down on the pillows and held his arms out, Oscar excitedly throwing himself towards him and wrapping his small arms around Ville’s neck. “Hello little man.”

“Mummy’s sleeping.” Oscar hushed, placing his fingers on Ville’s lips. Ville nodded.

“You’re a very good boy for staying so quiet.” he whispered. Oscar nodded proudly, making Ville laugh. He turned his head to look at her and melted, she looked so perfect but so sad.

“Mummy’s been awake all day doing presents for everybody.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah.” he nodded.

“I thought Santa did everybody’s presents?”

“He does. But she said that we can give presents to who we really love too.”

“We can?” Ville asked, looking shocked.

“Uh-huh.” Oscar let go of Ville and turned to get his drawings to show him, “I’ve been drawing presents.” Ville crawled onto the pillows, laying himself on his side to look at Oscar’s drawings. “That’s you.” he smiled, pointing at a circle with square feet, sticks of hair, giant eyes and a line for a mouth.

“And who’s that?” he asked, his heart bursting, pointing at a similar character only much smaller, “Is that you?”

“Yes.” he said, prodding at the paper, “We’re holding hands because we’re getting mummy.”

“Where’s mummy?” Ville smiled, running his hand over Oscar’s head as he picked up another bit of card and handed it to him.

“In the castle.” he said seriously, pointing at a large black squiggle with red bits.

“Ahh, I see.” Ville chuckled, turning the paper, unable to see castle, but fatherly pretending to completely see his son’s vision. “What’s she doing in a castle all alone?”

“Sleeping silly!” he giggled.

“Well,” he started as he sat up, “how will we wake her up when we get there?” he asked, before scooping Oscar up and sitting him in his lap facing Milly. Oscar giggled and shrugged. “She’s very beautiful, isn’t she?”

“The most beautiful.”

“That’s right, the most beautiful.” he said, kissing the top of Oscar’s head.

“Do you love mummy?” he asked out of the blue, taking Ville by surprise.

“I love your mummy with all of my heart.” he said seriously.

“She was crying.” he turned Oscar to face him.

“When was she crying?”

“When she was doing presents.” he said sadly. Ville’s brow furrowed for a moment as he looked at her, understanding somewhat now why she looked sad.

“How about you give her a big hug to wake her up and we can make her happy, huh? We can take her with Mummo and Ukki to see Christmas lights!” he said excitedly.

“Yeah!” he said quietly, before clambering his way over to his mum, tactlessly using her body as a levee to pull himself onto the couch with. “Mummy.” he whispered harshly, before just repeating it at a normal volume, “Mummy”. She stirred and instinctively moved her arms to hold him protectively, “Daddy’s here.” he smiled. She turned her head and opened her eyes as she took a deep, awakening, breath in.

“Good afternoon.” Ville smiled.

“Oh god, I overslept…” she gasped, pressing her hand to her forehead. He smiled and nodded. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not a problem at all, I figured as much; yesterday was a big day.”

“Yes…” she half-sighed, before turning to a wriggling Oscar. ”Have you been behaving?” he nodded.

“He’s been drawing masterpieces.” Ville chuckled, tapping at the piece of paper he was holding. Milly sat up, dragging her hands through her hair and down her neck before stretching her arms out in front of her.

“Oh yeah?” she picked Oscar up and planted him down in the pillow pile before sitting herself down on them, opposite Ville, to look at his drawings. “What’s this one Osi?” she asked holding up a sheet of paper with squiggles on it.

“It’s snow.”

“Oh.” she replied, eye brows raised and laughing, “So it is.”

“And this,” Ville started, “is you in a castle sleeping, and Oscar and myself coming to get you.” he handed the paper to her and couldn’t help but grin as he watched her looking over the black squiggle with red bits, that was her in the castle.

“Hmm, likeness is uncanny here.” she laughed, pointing at the two figures holding hands. “Long masses of curly hair. You’re a visionary Oscar!” she chuckled, kissing her sons head as he continued to draw. “Have you been here long?” she asked Ville. He shook his head.

“Five minutes, Mum and Dad are in the kitchen.”

“They are?” she said, slightly worried.

“They were all so busy nattering I slipped out unnoticed.”

“Oh good.” she sighed, she had been worried that their parents first meeting in years wouldn’t go well. She picked up her phone to see the multiple missed calls from Ville and sighed, “I’m so sorry, I lay down for half an hour with an alarm, Oscar must have turned it off.”

“Darling, it’s fine, really.” he insisted, “It’s actually really nice seeing them all reconnect in there.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” he smiled, “I was just as worried as you, I assure you. But I think we’re going as one big troupe on this Christmas expedition now, a vat of cocoa is brewing.” she laughed.

“Well then, we had better get you ready to stay at Daddy’s tonight, huh?”

“Can I help do anything?” Ville asked, tentatively. Milly looked at him and wanted nothing more than to hug him, but the air was tense and nervous between them after yesterday.

“Of course you can.” she said instinctively, “I um… we, just need to get him dressed all nice and warm. I packed his bag earlier.”

“Would you mind if we say hello to Mum and Dad first? They’re dying to see him.”

“Of course not. Take him through, I’ll tidy up in here.”

“I can help.”

“Ville, I can manage some pillows, take your son.” she laughed softly. He stood to his feet and swooped Oscar up onto his hip like a natural. Milly couldn’t hide her loving smile before Ville noticed it.

“What?” he asked, not being able to resist smiling himself. She shook her head.

“Nothing.”