Away

He's still the same, I think to myself. Still the same horrible bully who does nothing but hurt, still the same heartless, fake loser, still the same cold bastard.

Still the same person I fell in love with.

But he's still Xavier. And that would never change.

People ask me how I can love someone so much, with all my heart, even when he beats me until I go unconscious. But the truth is, I have no idea. One day I just looked at him, and everything changed.

But apparantly, when he looks at me, nothing changes. I'm still his punching bag, still his person to play kick-boxing with. Except the only rule to that game is that I'm not allowed to fight back.

So I'm still the same Mary. And that wouldn't change either.

I am Mary.

I fall too hard, too fast, and I love everyone that supports me.

And I am scared of Xavier. Scared that someday he might just kill me, and he would never care.
Scared that he might never feel the same as I do.

And I have something to say to him: I am scared of you. But there is just one secret that will never reach out of the jail, called my mouth. I love you.

But maybe someday, my horrid heart may give up and let me move on, may that be moving on to someone else, or moving on to Heaven.

Either way, right now, I still love Xavier.

And that won't go away for a while, no matter how much of my life I give up.