Bad Habits

I had just gotten out of the shower and changed into clean clothes. I laid down in bed, and that was when Kennedy walked in.
"Hey."
He smiled.
"Hey."
I returned blankly. I haven't smiled in almost a week. He wasn't getting one out of me now.
"Buck up, baby doll."
He said, crawling over me and kissing me.
"I don't have a reason to."
"I'm here now."
"Kennedy, I can't... I made a mistake. We shouldn't be anything more than just friends."
I said, and he shook his head.
"Friends with benefits, darling."
He kissed me again, snaking his tongue in my mouth. He ran his hand up my leg until he reached my upper thigh. He ran his hand up a little further, and started rubbing me through my panties. I let out a rather load moan into his mouth and he smiled.
"Either this is your first time, or I'm just better than John."
He said quietly, a smirk playing on his lips as he pulled my panties to the side and rubbed the bare skin.
"First time."
I said through clenched teeth. He pushed his fingers inside of me, and I let out another moan, bucking my hips up.
"You like that, huh?" he asked quietly, and I bucked my hips again.
"Oh, God, Kenny, don't stop!"
I almost yelled, and he pushed his fingers as deep as they would go as I let out a yelp. He wiggled them around inside of me, and started to move them in and out. Endless numbers of moans came from me, until he finally pulled his fingers out and licked them clean. I clenched my sheets so hard, my knuckles were white, as I tried to steady my breathing.

Kennedy kissed me, then pulled my shirt off. I stayed laying down as he pulled off his shirt and unbuckled his belt. He pulled his jeans off and straddled me, kissing me again. He laid kisses all the way down to my hips, where he took off my panties. I bit my bottom lip, still clutching my sheets. He unhooked my bra and slid it off, throwing it on the floor with rest of our clothes.
"Relax, Kat."
He whispered as he slid off his boxers. He ran his tongue up from my hips to my breast, and I closed my eyes, throwing my head back. I opened my eyes back up after a moment and laid my hands on his shoulder as he rested at my entrance. I glanced over at the floor where our clothes were and saw a condom wrapper on the floor, then let out a deep breath as I looked back up into his eyes. Right as he was about slide himself inside of me, my bedroom door flung open and a shocked Eric stared at us. I gasped, and sat up, Kennedy sitting next to me, as I covered myself with my blanket.
"I'm leaving, I'm leaving, I'm leaving!"
He said quickly, turning and slamming the door and running out.

"Kennedy, I'm sorry, we can't do this."
I said, quickly pulling my underwear and bra back on and he looked down.
"It's okay," he said quietly, then kissed my cheek. He pulled the unused condom from himself and threw it in my trash, before slipping his boxers on.
"You're in love with John. It's okay, I understand."
He said with a warm smile. I quickly got dressed, then stood next to him.
"I am in love with him. I'm sorry."
"It's okay, Kat. I'm Kennedy Brock, I got a line of broken hearts, baby."
"Don't say that."
I whispered, and he shook his head with a shrug.
"It's true. But, none of them ever mattered. This one hurts though."
"Kennedy, I'm sorry."
"Kat. Shut up."
He said, grabbing my face and kissing me.
"I understand completely. It's not a big deal."
"You still have that other girl."
"What other girl?"
"You said you were in love..."
I said, and he chuckled, running a hand through his hair.
"I am in love. With you."
He said, and my hands flew to my mouth. He chuckled, then pulled his jeans up, zipping them. He put his shirt back on, then cleaned the trash from my floor, throwing it away. He looked into my eyes, and frowned. He could see the tears getting ready to drip down.
"Stop that."
He said, furrowing his brow. I shook my head as the tears dripped down my cheeks and he sighed, rolling his eyes with a small smile.
"Hey, come here."
He said, wrapping his arms around me. I buried my face in his chest, and he ran his fingers through my hair.
"Kat, quit it. It's okay."
"No. No, it's not. I'm terrible."
"No, you're not. Life just isn't fair, sweetheart."
"Kenny, I love you, It's just... I'm not in love with you."
"I know, it's okay."
He whispered with a smile, kissing my head.

"If you really love him, you won't let something as stupid as a drunken mistake tear you two apart. I think you should talk to him. I can tell you right now it wasn't his fault. John's a guy, and your best friend is a whore, who do you think made the bad decision?"
Kennedy said, before leaning down and softly pressing his lips to mine.
"One for the road."
He chuckled, and I wrapped my arms around his neck.
"I'll see you later."
He said, then pulled away and turned, walking out of my room. I watched his car back out of my drive way and down the road to his house, wondering how he really felt, how he could have acted so cool about it, and whether or not I really would see him again.

*****

"John, you need to fucking do something."
Eric yelled, running into my room, slamming the door behind him.
"What are you talking about?"
I asked melancholy, my soul drained from my body. I hadn't hardly moved from my bed the past few days, even when Eric persuaded me with the bar, strip clubs and parties.
"Kennedy is at her house. I just walked in on then having sex, and knowing Ken, it's probably the best she's ever had."
He said, and I jolted up in bed, my eyes wide.
"It's the only she's ever had."
I mumbled, a growl rumbling in my chest as I stood and unleashed my anger on my wall. Eric stood there, staring at me with wide eyes. I pulled my bloody fist back, and Eric started backing out of the room.
"I'm leaving now."
He said quietly, before turning and hurrying downstairs.
I let out a deep breath, then sat down running a hand through my hair. I looked down at my bloodied knuckles, then sighed and stood, going into my bathroom. I washed my hands, then came back in my room, yanking my journal from my night stand and grabbing my guitar. I plopped down on my bed and opened my book in front of me, then started playing a couple chords to ease my mind.

'I headed outside of the bar and leaned against the back wall of the building laying my head back, and closing my eyes. I breathed the fresh Arizona air, the knot in my stomach relieved. After a minute, I felt someones lips on mine. I smiled, knowing it was Kat, and laid my hands on her hips, pulling her closer to me. She wrapped her arms around my neck and slid her tongue into my mouth. I put a hand behind her neck and closed the gap between us. After a minute, I felt her hand run down my chest and stop at the waist band of my jeans. Her lips moved down to my neck, and she nibbled and sucked at it. I gasped when she grabbed my crotch, and my eyes shot open.
"Holy fucking shit, Nicole?"
I exclaimed, pushing her away. She gave a devilish grin, grabbing me by the hips.
"No, get the fuck off!"
I yelled, slapping her hands away.
"Shit. Dammit. Where the fuck is Kat?"
I mumbled, running to the front of the building. I looked around, Kennedy's car no where in sight. Eric was in the passengers seat of my truck, asleep. I sighed, then went back to where Nicole was stumbling to get to the front of the building.
"Get in the truck."
I ordered, and she giggled.
"I'm so drunk."
"I know."
I mumbled, running a hand down my face.
"They're gone. What if she saw us?"
I whispered to myself as I got in the drivers seat.

Nicole crawled over Eric and sat between us, and I started the truck up. On our way back to our neighborhood, Nicole ran her hand up my leg as I chewed nervously on my bottom lip.
"Fucking quit it, Nicole!"
I almost yelled, smacking her hand away.
"Baby, you're so tense, why don't you come over tonight and I'll relieve your muscles?"
"Because, I'm dating your best friend."
I snapped and she jerked her head back.
"Or at least I hope I am."
I mumbled.

I pulled in front of her house, and she crawled out and stumbled up to her door. I hurried down a couple houses to my own house, and pulled into the driveway. I got out and went around to get Eric, pulling him inside. I laid him on my couch, then went upstairs, pulling off my shirt and throwing my numb body in my bed.
"I'm such a fuck up."
I said to myself, then pulled the covers over my body and closed my eyes.'

The memory from last night rushed into my head, making it pound. I grabbed my head with a groan, then bit down on my bottom lip.
"I gotta finish this."
I mumbled, then looked back down at my book.

*****

It was around eight, and I was laying in bed watching The Nightmare Before Christmas, when Nicole cautiously walked into my room.
"Get the fuck out, you whore."
I spat, grabbing one of the pillows that lay next to me and throwing it at her. She caught it and threw it back before closing the door behind her.
"I can explain, Kat."
"I don't want to hear it. I'm done with you. Out of everything you could have ever done to me, you steal John. I don't want to hear your excuses. Either of you."
"You shouldn't be mad at John. You shouldn't have broken up with him. It wasn't his fault, it was mine. I was way too drunk last night, and the hips called to me."
"He does have amazing hips, huh? --That's besides the fucking point. I don't care anymore, Nicole. Do what you want, I don't want to be apart of your life anymore."
"After over ten years, you're just gonna completely stop talking to me?"

"I have Kennedy." I lied, and she looked down, frowning.
"He won't talk to me."
"Good."
"Kat, I was drunk, it was just a kiss."
"No, it wasn't just a kiss. It was a full blown fucking make out."
"It was, I know... But... I was drunk. Please, please forgive me."
"Nope. Get out."
"Fine."
She said quietly, standing from my bed. As she reached my bedroom door, she turned to me.
"If you can't forgive me, at least forgive him. It wasn't his fault. It was dark, he thought I was you."
She said, then turned and walked out, closing the door behind her. I sighed, then scooted further down in my covers, getting lost in my movie again.

***

It was late that night, my room was silent and I was almost asleep. The only thing I heard was the soft rustle of the trees outside. Until I heard the sound of a guitar.
"Here's to words that tell the truth when it's easier to lie. Here's to staring into the sun when we used to close our eyes. I was the dark before the dawn, the voice without a song, the words that came out wrong, but you heard me all along."
Someone sang, and I stood. I walked over to my window, pulling the curtains back, then the blinds. I saw John standing under my window with his guitar, playing and singing. His voice was beautiful. I opened the window and leaned out, staring down at him.

"Untangle me, I'm not looking for a sign, keep your body next to mine and set me free. Untangle me from these feelings trapped inside. Way out past the smoke and fire is where I'll be. I've been waiting such a long time for someone to come along, untangle me."

As he finished the song, a tear dripped down my cheek, falling into my yard below me.
"Katherine Annette Johansen, I am so in love with you. You untangle me."
He called at the top of his lungs. I turned from my window, wiping away a couple more tears that had spilled from my eyes, and I ran downstairs. When I got to my door, I yanked it open, and bolted outside, my bare feet crunching in the grass. I ran to the side of my house where my window was, and into John's, now open, arms. He put a hand behind my neck and crushed his lips to mine, sending chills up my spine, and the usual knot in my stomach.
"I love you so much, baby."
He said when we pulled away.
"I love you, too. I love you, I love you, I love you."
I cried, and he smiled, wiping my tears away with his thumb. He kissed me again, then picked me up bridal style in his arms.
"Grab my guitar."
He said, bending me down a little. I grabbed his guitar from the grass, and he carried me inside. I set his guitar on my couch, and he continued up my stairs and into my bedroom. He gently laid me down on my bed, and I smiled, grabbing his hand and pulling him next to me. He laid a few kisses on my head as I wrapped my arms around him, laying my head on his chest.
"I love you, Kat."
"I love you, too, John."
I said quietly, kissing his hand. He wrapped his arms around my waist, laying his cheek on my head, and closing his eyes.
'Please Lord, let this moment last.'
I prayed, before closing my eyes and drifting off to John's warm body, and intoxicating scent.