Bad Habits

The next morning, I woke up in John's arms, back at his house. I looked up at his blissfully peaceful face and smiled. I reached up and ran the back of my finger along his soft cheek, until he opened his eyes.
"Hey, baby. Sleep well?"
He asked, and I smiled and nodded.
"You fell asleep on the way back from the park last night, so I just brought you here. I hope that's alright."
"It was fine, thank you."
He smiled, then rubbed my back, kissing the tip of my nose. After a couple minutes, we got up and went to his bathroom. I brushed out my hair, then brushed my teeth and cleaned up the make up that was splotched under my eyes. I reapplied a little eyeliner and mascara, then left the bathroom and went downstairs.

Eric was in the kitchen, cooking, so I laid down on the couch and turned on the TV. John came down, still only dressed in his jeans, and came over to me. He laid down on top of me, resting his head on my boobs. I smiled, his legs going farther down the couch more than a foot, and I stroked his hair. As we laid together, I started softly humming the tune to the song he sang to me a few nights ago. When John realized what it was, he looked up at me with questioning eyes. I smiled, softly caressing his cheek with my thumb. His lips eventually curled into a small smile before he laid his head back down, closing his eyes.

Eric finished cooking, so John and I got up and went to his table to eat.
"So, Kat, have you talked to Nicole or Kennedy yet?"
Eric asked and I looked down.
"No. I should, shouldn't I?"
"I think you should. They're your best friends."
"Yeah, I know."
I mumbled, and John smiled.
"We'll go over after breakfast."
"You wanna go with me?"
I asked, and he shrugged.
"Why not?"
"Wouldn't it be awkward between you and Nicole?"
"Uhh... I don't know. I hope not."
"Well, if Kenny's over there, which he probably is, then you can talk to him and try to set things straight while I'm talking to Nic."
"Mmkay."

After breakfast, we headed upstairs and pulled on our shoes, then headed to the front door.
"Eric, you coming?"
John asked, and he shrugged.
"Sure."
He pulled on his shoes and hurried after us as we headed out the door and down the road.

"Kennedy's car is here."
I mumbled as we walked up to her house. I walked through the front door and made my way upstairs. Her bedroom door was closed, and I heard voices inside.

"Nicole, that was not okay. You can't keep doing shit like this and expect your excuse of being drunk to work every time. She's your best friend, and you hurt her. You have no idea."
"And how do you know, Kenny? You were there for her?"
Nicole almost yelled, and there was silence for a moment.
"Yeah. I was. I was there."
He said with a sigh, and I looked down, biting my lip.
"I knew it wasn't gonna work out from the beginning, that's why I didn't get mad about anything."
He said quietly, and I closed my eyes, letting a breath leave my nose.
"What are you talking about?"
"...Nothing. Never mind."

Her bedroom door flung open, and a wide eyed Kenny stood in front of John, Eric and I. I looked up into his eyes, and he gave a small, almost inaudible sigh, then pushed passed us and left. I looked in at Nicole, and walked in, wrapping my arms around her neck.
"I'm sorry."
She said, squeezing me.
"You're not a whore."
"I am a whore."
"I know."
I said, and we both started laughing.
"I love you."
"I love you, too."
Nicole smiled, then let go of me and looked up at John, who was walking into the room.
"John, I'm sorry. Everything was my fault, and I'm sorry your relationship suffered for it."
She said, and he nodded.
"Cool, now get out."
She said, pushing them out and closing her door before looking at me.

"Me being drunk is definitely not a good enough excuse for what I did. The truth is, I had enough sense to know he was with you. I'm jealous of you."
"What?"
I asked, completely shocked. How could Nicole be jealous of me? She's a billion times more beautiful than I'll ever be, she's so much smarter than me, she knows how to have fun, and she's always with a guy.
"I'm jealous of you because you're in love and want to spend the rest of your lives with each other. You're with John O'Callaghan. He's perfect. I'm so very much jealous of how every day you wake up to his gorgeous face, an 'I love you' with a kiss, and every night, you fall asleep to the same thing, and in between, you get everything else. You know what I go to sleep to? I go to sleep naked next to a guy I just met, and wake up alone. I'm not in love and I'm never gonna find it. It's pointless, because guys don't want love, they want sex, so I figured if I give them what they want, they'll stay."
I looked down with a sigh, then pulled her into another hug.

"You shouldn't be jealous of me. You're better than me in all aspects."
"I'm not. You're so talented."
"So are you."
"In what?"
"Well, you sure as hell can dress a bitch."
I said and we started laughing. She wiped away a couple tears that dripped from her eyes, and looked down.
"I don't want to be known as the whore anymore. I want to find love."
"Then stop sleeping around and stay completely single for awhile. You can't look for love, you gotta fall into it."
"No ones gonna love me."
"That's what I thought."
I said quietly, and she looked into my eyes, giving a small smile.

"I gotta go talk to Kenny."
I said, and she nodded.
"What was he talking about?"
She asked as I opened her bedroom door.
"I have no idea."
I lied quickly, before hurrying out and down her stairs. John and Eric followed after me.

I yanked my phone out of my pocket and opened a new text.

'I'm coming over.'

I hit Kennedy's name, then walked over to my yard. We went inside my house, and I grabbed the keys to my mothers Jeep that she usually kept home for me, and went back out to it. Eric jumped in the back, while John sat in the passengers seat. I started up the car, then backed out of my driveway and headed down the road to Kennedy's house.

When we got there, I walked up to the door and knocked before walking in.
"Couch."
I ordered, pointing to it as I ran up the stairs. John and Eric went and sat down as I walked into the hallway that led to Kennedy's room. I opened his door and he looked up from his guitar. He quickly sat it down and stood up straight as I wrapped my arms around his neck. He put a single hand gently on the small of my back, touching me as least as possible.
"Why were you okay with it?"
I asked, looking up into his eyes.
"I knew that if there ever would be an us, it wouldn't work. I hadn't gotten my hopes up."
"You're supposed to be mad. You're supposed to be fighting for me."
"It's not worth it."
"I'm not worth it?"
"That's not what I meant."
He said quickly, then sighed, looking away. God, he was so cute.
"What did you mean?"
"I don't want to fight and ruin our friendship, because that's the last I have. I don't want it to be awkward, I don't want John to hate me, because I don't hate him. I don't want you to hate me, and I don't want you to beat yourself up over something that's not your fault. I know you, and I know how you over think things, and I know you've been over thinking everything that's going on. Stop. We're seventeen. We shouldn't have to go through this shit. Not yet."
He said, and I laid my head on his shoulder.

"I miss you."
I said quietly, closing my eyes. After a moment, he wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me to his body, laying a kiss on my head.
"I'm only gonna be okay with you and me not together if you're happy with John. If you're not really happy with him, I'll be here with open arms, always and forever."
He said, and I smiled with a nod.

We let go of each other after a moment, and I kissed his cheek.
"John and Eric are downstairs waiting, I should probably go."
"Okay."
He said, forcing a smile, before returning my kiss on the cheek.
"I love you."
He said as I opened his bedroom door.
"I love you, too."
I smiled, then headed downstairs.

John and Eric jumped up and followed me back out to the car. I started it up and backed out of Kenny's driveway and headed down the road.

The three of us went back to John's house. While John and Eric sat in the living room playing video games, I was sitting on my laptop, music blasting from it. My phone buzzed with a text from Kennedy, so I picked it up and read it.

'I'm taking you out. I'll be at your house in fifteen minutes.'

I quickly turned everything on my laptop off, slamming it closed and jumping up.
"I gotta go. I'll see you later."
I said, jumping up and heading towards the door.
"Wait!"
John said quickly, pausing the game and jumping up.
"I didn't want to interrupt your game."
I said with a smile, and he shrugged as he walked over to me.
"Will you come back later to sleep with me?"
He asked, looking into my eyes, and I shrugged.
"Maybe."
"Please?"
He asked, laying his hands on my hips as I wrapped my arms around his neck.
"I love you."
"I love you, too."
I replied before he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine, giving me a sweet, soft kiss. I smiled, caressing his cheek with my thumb.
"Have fun."
I said, before turning and walking out.

I practically ran to my house, inside and upstairs to take a shower. When I finished, I got dressed in a bandeau, a tank top, and a figure hugging skirt, before pulling my hair back into a loose bun, curly strands hanging down. I slipped on a pair of my sandals, then grabbed my make up bag. I applied some liquid liner to my top lash line, then put on some eyeliner and mascara, before putting on some light pink lip stick. I put a piece of gum in my mouth, then spritzed some perfume on myself as I heard my front door close. I walked out and met Kenny at the top of my stair case with a smile.

"You look beautiful."
He said, and I smiled.
"Thanks. You look great, too."
Kennedy wore a gray tank top, with a blue, plaid button up shirt with black jeans and a pair of Vans.
"You ready?"
He asked, and I nodded. He smiled, then nodded, and I followed him down stairs and out to his car.

A short while later, Kennedy pulled into the parking lot of a carnival that was going on. He got out and came around to my side, opening the door for me and helping me out. He kept an arm around me, his hand resting on my waist as we walked up to the front. We bought some tickets and started walking around.
"You wanna go on the Ferris Wheel?"
Kennedy asked, and I nodded. We stood in line for a few minutes, before we were let on. We sat across from each other, until we got to the top. I looked out over the carnival, my eyes wide. Kenny chuckled, then moved to my side, laying his hand on mine. He laced our fingers together after a minute, and I laid my head on his shoulder. He smiled, then kissed my head.

We stayed until after dark, playing games, eating funnel cake and cotton candy, and riding rides. We went back to his house and cooked some pizza. As the pizza cooked, we laid down on the couch. He pulled me on top of him, and I giggled, wrapping my arms around his neck and burying my face in his chest. He kissed my head a couple times as he ran a hand up and down my back, eventually resting it on my butt after a few minutes.

I started to sit up to go get the pizza out of the oven, but Kennedy grabbed my hands.
"Kenny, I have to go get the pizza or it'll burn."
I giggled, and he smiled, shaking his head.
"Come on, John's gonna be picking me up soon, we should eat."
I persuaded, and he shook his head again, sitting up some. I started to struggle, but Kennedy gripped my wrists tighter. We both rolled off of the couch, fighting each other with giggles and laughs escaping our lips. As we rolled around on the floor, wrestling each other, the scent of pizza grew greater.
"The pizza's burning!"
I said, with a small giggle, as I wrapped my leg around Kennedy, pulling myself on top of him. I sat on his hips, and he smiled up at me. He loosened his grip, sliding his hands down to my waist, then down to my legs. He hooked his thumbs in the ends of my skirt, and started pushing it up further on my thighs. My heart started beating faster and faster as he pushed my skirt up even further. He sat up, pushing me off his lap and and crawled over me. Kennedy arched one of my legs to his side, and as he leaned in to my lips, his front door opened.
He jumped up from me, right as our lips brushed, and I yanked my skirt down as a shocked John stared at us.

I jumped up and bit the inside of my bottom lip, as Kennedy awkwardly went to the kitchen to take the pizza out of the oven. John clenched his jaw, and I looked down.
"John--"
I started, but he shook his head, his eyes closed.
"I don't care."
"John, don't be mad at her."
Kennedy said, walking up beside me.
"Don't fucking talk to me."
He spat sourly at Kennedy, and I sighed.
"John,"
I started, grabbing his hand. He yanked away from me and swallowed.
"Are you cheating on me?"
He asked, avoiding my eyes.
"No."
"Don't lie to me."
"I'm not! I'm really... I'm not."
I sighed, and stood there, clenching and unclenching his jaw and fists.

"The only thing that happened was I pushed up her skirt a little and went to kiss her, but you walked in. Nothing happened."
Kennedy said, and I nodded, grabbing John's hand again. He quickly wrapped his arms around my shoulders, laying his chin on my shoulder, his eyes closed and I rubbed his back.
"We're going home."
He stated, and I nodded. I glanced over at Kennedy, and he looked down. I followed John out of the door and to his truck.

"I'm never the controlling type, but I... I don't want you hanging out with him anymore."
"Him? Why can't you just say his name?"
"He's an asshole."
"No, he's not. He's one of the sweetest people I've ever met."
"I don't care what he is, I don't want you to hang out with him anymore!"
John yelled, and I clenched my jaw, forcing back tears.
"It's me or him."
"That's not fair!"
I almost yelled, as we pulled into his driveway.
"How is it not fair? I'm telling you right now, you need to choose between us. Me, or him."
"It's not fair because you'd know who I'd choose."
I said, as we got out of his truck.
"No, I don't know who you'd fucking choose, that's why I'm telling you to choose!"
He yelled as he turned around and looked at me.
"You know I'd choose you."
I said quietly, a couple tears rolling down my cheeks.
"Why?"

"Because I'm in love with you."
I cried, collapsing in his arms as more tears dripped down my cheeks.
"That's all I wanted to hear."
He whispered, kneeling down with me in his arms. He wiped away my tears and kissed me.
"I love you more than anything. I just want to know you have the same feelings and you're not sharing them with him."
"I told you, though, I do love him, just not the way I love you. I need Kenny, John. He's my best friend."
"I'm scared I'm gonna loose you."
He admitted, looking into my eyes.
"You're not. I promise." I said, and he gave me another kiss before we stood up. We went into his house and upstairs to his room. I went to the bathroom and took my make up off, before going back into John's room. He was getting undressed, slipping into bed with only his boxers on. I gave a small smile, before pulling my shirt up over my head and throwing it on the floor, before taking my skirt off. John stared at me with a grin on his face, as I slid into bed. He put his arm around me, pulling our bodies together.

"Do you love me?"
He asked, and I nodded.
"Always have, always will."
"How long has always been?"
"Kindergarten."
I smiled, and he chuckled.
"Eleven years is a long time."
"I know. That's why it's not going away any time soon."
"Well, I hope it never does."
"So do I."
I said, kissing him. As I pulled away, he crawled on top of me and laid kisses up my neck, before snaking his tongue in my mouth. He ran his fingers up and down my thighs, before starting to rub me through my panties. I moaned into his mouth, and he smiled, pulling away and leaning over to his night stand. He opened the drawer and rummaged through it for a minute.
"Shit. Fuck. Dammit."
He mumbled, then looked back down at me, planting a kiss on my lips before getting up and going over to his dresser, going through all the drawers.
"Fuck, man."
He sighed, sliding back into bed.
"What's wrong with you?"
"I don't have any condoms."
"So?"
"I wanna fuck."
He said, and I chuckled.
"Well, we can't. I'm not on birth control yet, so we should wait awhile until I am."
"Fine. You're gonna tell our parents?"
"Hell no! Are you kidding me? I'll get it myself and keep it in my purse or something."
"Good. I don't need my parents knowing anything."
"Same here, my dad would kill you and my mom would never let us alone."
We shared a chuckle, before he pressed his lips to mine. I snuggled into his warm body and closed my eyes.