Paper Lanterns

Oh great, you think out loud as your heart, yet again, shatters. You've just walked into one of the few things you hate Billie Joe for, again. Usually he's making out, among other things (Me: use your imaginations, I don't feel like going into detail), with some blonde girl. This girl, however, has dark brown hair..which shocked you. You've never seen Billie kiss a girl who wasn't a blonde, and that shocked you. More to the point, he was kissing a girl who was not you..but then again he doesn't know you like him so yeah. Anyway, you just realized that you said "oh great" out loud and are trying to come up with a reason for you to say that. Ah, I know, you think suddenly. Your bracelet, the one Billie Joe made you when you were younger, "broke". (Me: yes I know, not the best cover up but deal with it. I'm writing this in the middle of the night one 5 hours of sleep, only because I am thinking of the readers.) You glance over at Billie Joe and dark brown-haired girl who don't seem to notice. You drop the bracelet for some reason (Me: think back to the disney movie Cinderella? I don't know. I want coffee..) and run back into the bar. As soon as you walk in you run into Mike and John.

"Eh, everything alright there Maria?" Mike asks you conspicuously. (Me: is "conspicuously" the correct word? if not oh well.)

"Yeah, you look like you just saw someone get mutilated and killed and thrown into the dumpster in the alley and then the killer tried to kill you so that's why you ran inside." John says. You and Mike looked at him like he was on drugs. "What?? It coulda happened."

"No, I wish that had happened. Be a lot easier to see than what I saw." You said not realizing you'd have to explain everything to John. Mike knew, because Mike is just Mike. He knows how to keep a secret anyway. With John, you'd have to threaten to place a hit out on him before he'd get the picture. Usually.

"What'd you see, Maria?" came from a voice behind me. Billie Joe. Along with him was dark brown-haired girl. Can you say whore?!?!

"Uh......" You panicked. You looked to Mike for support.

"She saw a spider." Mike said quickly. You hate spiders.

"Yeah. A huge one." You said not looking at him because you felt a fit of rage and jealousy inside of you. You were afraid you might, um, kill the whore, errr girl, he's with. With that, he may hate you for a while. Or at least a couple hours until he found another slut/whore/hoe, etc.

"Hey Billie Joe. Who's the girl?" John exclaimed which made me want to pounce on him and start beating him to a bloody pulp. (Me: you have anger issues...I mean you have Brazilian and Italian in you...no offense to any one of those nationalities..I'm them too) He's lucky he's the drummer of Green Day, you thought. Or you probably would've killed him.

"Ah right. This is...." Billie Joe trailed off. He doesn't even know her name?!

"Marcia." Dark brown-haired girl says. Marcia?!?! You gasped.

"Eh, Right. Maria is something wrong?" Billie asks me since you did gasp and he surprisingly noticed. you gasped again.

"Fine. Just lost track of .....my breathing! Yeah my breathing.." you started rambling. You ramble when under pressure. "What is it called that I get when that happens?"

"Panic attacks?" Mike volunteers to answer.

"Ah yes. Thanks Mike. A panic attack. I'm thinking it's because I am confined in a tight area with a lot of people." You begin rambling again. "If you don't mind me I'm gonna go get some fresh air." And you stop rambling and rush back out the back door to the alley. You slid down against the wall. The same wall Billie was holding Marcia up against not too long ago. You take a couple deep breaths and suddenly someone slids down next to you.

"You okay?" It was Mike.

"Yeah. Just fine. Never better. Why do you ask?" You say trying to sound fine but failing miserably.

Mike didn't answer for a couple minutes. You assumed he was thinking and didn't say anything to him. Finally he answered. "You, um, never had a panic attack before when Billie Joe introduced his latest one-nighter to us." You just sit there and stare at your shoes, suddenly becoming fascinated with them. "Oh yeah. Sorry."

"It's okay. And I know, I guess maybe it's just because her name is Marcia and that's like one letter off of my name. I don't know. It's like he knows that I like him and he's just doing this to spite me. Maybe I'm just paranoid." You say slowly. Your voice is very shallow.

"Look you gotta tell him." Mike says concerned. "I mean, I'm not gonna sit back and let you get your heart broken over and over again. It'd be different if he knew, but he doesn't, Maria. Tell him. Not now..but when your ready."

"Fine." You say after a few minutes.

"Hey is there some juicy gossip being told? Can I know?" John says with a huge grin on his face, like a little kid when they get the toy they wanted for their birthday. He sat down on the other side of me.

"No. I'm just trying to calm down from my panic attack and Michael over here is just making sure I don't die or anything." You say sternly.

"Michael??" John and Mike say, for the third time this night, simultaneously.

"Jesus Christ! Para por favor!" You start speaking in Portuguese which really confuses them. They exchanged looks. "Sorry, but it was the only way to shut up and not talk at the same time." (Me: I asked my dad and I spelt it wrong, so now it's all fixed. it's an 'r' not a 'd'.)

"Hey how come everyone's out here?" Billie and Marcia come waltzing out of the back door.

"Apparently someone is too busy with their lastest one-nighter to remember that I just had a panic attack." You mumble to yourself.

"What'd you say?" Billie Joe asked. He hadn't heard you because Marcia, like any other bitch in a mini skirt wouldn't stop giggling.

Mike looks at Billie Joe like a shoelace has a higher IQ than he does. (Me: an inside joke between me and my friend fuzzy) "Dude. She just had a panic attack, remember?"

"Oh right. You okay Maria?" Billie Joe asks not really sounding concerned because of the stupid whore attached to his arm.

"Yup." you say. You look at everyone but him and Marcia. "Not like you care though." you mumble quiet enough so no one hears.

"Okay time to go home!!" John says jumping up like a five year old.

"Yeah, Billie Joe. I need to get some sleep and since you are the only person with a car.." you trailed off.

Mike picked it up for you. "And we're not walking home. Not even if you paid us a million bucks each."

"You don't mind it if I drop them all off before heading back to my place, do you Marcia?" Billie Joe asked her. You choked on the gum you were chewing. Where the hell am I gonna go, you think to yourself.

John rushed over to you as if you were dying from a gunshot or stab wound. "You okay Maria??!"

"Just swallowed my gum is all." You say giving him a weak smile. "Now help me up, BITCH."

John helped you stand up. "Okay...wait a minute. I'm not a bitch." John said offended. "I'm THE bitch."

"Whatever." You say rolling your eyes. You all make your way to Billie Joe's car. You, Mike, John, Mike's bass, and Billie Joe's guitar manage to fit in the backseat. Uncomfortably, you might add. All of John's equipment was in the trunk. Billie Joe of course sat up front and Marcia took your usual seat. You felt daggers shoot through your eyes and towards her head. John was dropped off first at his house and he took the longest since all his stuff was in the trunk. Next it was you and Mike who got dropped off at Mike's house. You figured you were staying there since Billie Joe and Marcia had other plans.

As Billie Joe drove off you turned to Mike. "I hope Ollie comes home early and catches them. I could die happy then."

"You are a strange girl, Maria." Mike says.

"Yes, this is all true." You say. "You know what? I'm gonna walk home and sit up on the roof because I feel like thinking. Plus, I wanna be home when Ollie gets home."

"Okay. Then give me a report tomorrow on her reaction if she catches them." Mike says laughing.

"Aye, Aye Captain." You say saluting Mike before turning onto the sidewalk and walking to yours and Billie Joe's house.