Paper Lanterns

As you made your way down the many streets it took to reach home, you thought about what Mike has said earlier. I do have to tell Billie, you thought. But I just don't know how.

You finally reached home and quickly jumped into the bushes so you wouldn't be seen. You peered through the branches and tried to control yourself from exploding with laughter. A sullen, and completely embarrassed Billie Joe and a confused Marcia walked out to his car. You notices as you watched them get into the car that another car was parked in the driveway. Ollie's car. So that means that he was caught.

You looked back at the door to see Ollie at the top of the steps with a disgusted look on her face watching her stupid son drive his latest one-nighter home. She not only looked disgusted, but ashamed. Ashamed that her own son would be so stupid. She shook her head and went back inside.

When the coast was clear of Billie's car, you jumped out from the bushes and dashed to the front door. You went into the kitchen where Ollie was muttering things about Billie, things you couldn't quite comprehend, and making herself something to eat.

"Would you like some help?" You ask.

Ollie turned around and let out a sigh of relief. "Oh Maria, it's you. I heard footsteps and thought it was my without-morals excuse for a teenage son. Yes, yes I would like some help. Please put the kettle on for me. I could use a cup of tea right about now."

"Sure thing." You replied putting the kettle on the stove. You took a seat at the kitchen table and asked Ollie how her day was.

"Exhausting. Longest day of my life." Ollie sighed. "And I come home expecting to see my son in the living room watching tv as usual, but no. He's up in his room with that slut."

"I believe that the correct term to describe her is a whore." You said cautiously because you weren't sure as to how Ollie would react.

"Ah, yes. You are quite correct, Maria." Ollie laughed. You sighed in relief. "I take it you met her already then?"

"Most unfortunately, yes." You sullenly replied. "She's the reason I had to walk home."

Ollie looked a bit confused. "You had to walk home from the bar? My son made you walk all that way?"

"No." You reassured her. You paused a minute. "From Mike's place. Billie made me get out there."

Just then you heard the front door shut, quickly followed by footsteps pounding the steps as if the person climbing them wished they would crumble under their feet. Finally you heard the slamming of a bedroom door. Billie was home.

You stood up and poured Ollie her tea. "Do you mind if I go up and try to talk to Billie?"

"No, go right ahead. As soon as I'm done with my tea I'm going to bed anyway." Ollie said sipping her tea. "Pleasant dreams, Maria."

"Good-night Ollie." You said before heading upstairs to Billie Joe's room. You heard him playing his guitar. It sounded like he was writing a song;

I lock myself inside my room
I wanna be alone
With you around you'll only add on

You hesitated for a minute. What if he gets mad at me for disturbing him? I mean the words he's writing are in fact "I wanna be alone"..maybe I should leave him alone. Nah, this is Billie Joe I'm talking about. He's always got time to talk to me, you thought. So after thinking about it, you knocked on the door.

"What?" came from the voice of a bitter Billie Joe.

You stuttered, which you've never done before. "B-Billie. It's-s M-Maria."

There wasn't any answer so you turned and started to walk to your room. Just as you were about to, the door swung open and Billie Joe pulled you inside his room.

"Sorry for being bitter with you. I thought you were my mom." Billie apologized.

"It's okay." You said sitting down on his desk chair. "I kinda saw what happened."

"Oh?" Billie questioned you. You couldn't sense if it was a question out of curiosity or anger.

You hesitated before answering, not like you had much of a choice. "Um yeah. I was in the bushes when you and ..." You paused for a minute because you almost called her 'the whore' and you didn't want to get Billie mad. "Marcia. That's it. Marcia. When you and Marcia came outside and you drove her home. I walked home from Mike's since I was tired and didn't want to wait for you to swing by and bring me home...if you were going to, anyway." Billie didn't have anything to say, so you figured you should ask him. "Hey Billie?"

"Yeah?"

"Why do you do that stuff?" You asked him.

He raised an eyebrow. "What stuff?" He sounded a bit annoyed and confused at the same time.

You shrugged. "I don't know. Whatever you do with those girls all the time. I mean, why do you? And with so many. Isn't one girl enough for you?"

"You're just jealous of them." Billie Joe snapped at you.

"What?! Why would I be jealous of them? Because they're whores and sluts? No, I don't think, wait I KNOW I'm not jealous of them." You responded.

"No you're jealous of them because they get to be with me and you don't." Billie snapped at you again.

You laughed. "Yeah, riiiight. Like I'd be jealous of them because they "get to be with you" and I don't. Puuhlease. You have got to be kidding me. At least I don't go around sleeping with every guy in the high school like they do. Or I'm not a guy and sleep around with almost every girl in the high school like you do." You had had it with him. No one, not even Billie Joe, talks to you like that without getting hit with a reality check. Yet somehow when you do hit them with that reality check, you get a hit yourself.

Billie Joe began to get even angrier and you could see it in his eyes. And with that, Billie slapped you in the face causing the bottom right corner of your lip to bleed. You touched your lip and looked at the blood on your fingertips. "Motherfucker" was all you said, well whispered, before running out of his room and into yours.

Once in your room and sitting on your bed, you began crying like you wouldn't ever stop. The last time you got hit was by one of your mother's so-called boyfriends.You had a black eye and a bruised lip from that experience. You heard the door open and shut but you still didn't stop crying. You felt someone sit down on your bed and put their arm around you. You looked over and saw it was Billie Joe.

"Get. The fuck. Away. From me." You stammered through your tears. Billie Joe let go and got up, almost afraid you might beat him up for what he did to you. He had not just cut your lip, but made bad memories from when you were little resurface.

"Maria. Look, I'm really fucking sorry. I didn't mean to hit you. Everything you said is true. I really didn't mean to hit you and I'm sorry. If you don't want to talk to me ever again, I understand." Billie turned to leave the room.

You looked at him. "Billie, wait." He stopped and looked at you. There wasn't any anger in his eyes anymore. In replace was the frightened look of a child. "It's not that you hit me that I'm crying. It's more than that. When you hit me, you made horrible, truly horrible memories resurface. Memories that I thought were suppressed." You paused. "Remember when I came to preschool with the black eye and bruised lip?" Billie nodded. "Well, one of my mother's boyfriends did that to me. He hit me. When you hit me, it brought that all back. That's why I was crying."

"Oh. I don't know what to say, except that I am sorry." Billie Joe came over to where you were sitting still and hugged you. "I'm so fucking sorry Maria. Really I am."

"I know. It's okay." You sniffled. Billie Joe pulled away and you noticed he was crying as well. You wiped away his tears as he wiped away yours. "Don't worry. I'll be okay."

"Your lip though. It's still bleeding. Come into the bathroom and I'll clean it up for you." Billie Joe said taking your hand and leading you to the bathroom.

"Since when do you know anything about first aid?" You eyed him suspiciously.

He chuckled. "Maria. There are many things you don't know about me." I can say the same thing to you, too, you thought. "There. All better. Come on. You need sleep. Look at those circles under your eyes."

You laughed. "You sounded like a mother."

"Ah, it is true. But it made you laugh." Billie said smiling. You couldn't help but smile back. You got back to your room and you climbed into bed. "Eh, Maria?"

"Yeah?"

"Uh..if you want I could stay here with you. In case you have any of those dreams, I mean...it's the least I could do since I made those memories resurface." Billie said nervously.

"Sure." You said --suprisingly-- calmly.

"Okay." Billie said turning off the light and climbing into your bed. "Good-night."

"G'night." I love you, you thought to yourself. Oh if you only knew the way I've felt for so long. And with those last thoughts, you fell asleep.