Lights Out

Tour had been going really well. The tour was about two months long and we were on the end of the first month. I was able to meet all of the members in both of the bands and it was just really fun. The best part was being able to meet the fans though. I had never realized how many people listened to us outside of Las Angeles.

I had just got done signing a picture for a kid when they asked for a picture with them. Andy had come up beside me in the picture and she ended up getting a picture with Andy and me.
“You two would make a cute couple.” The kid said looking at the picture. I just blushed and hid behind my hair.
“Uhm thanks.” Andy said scratching the back of his neck.
“You’re welcome. Thank you for the picture, and the signature.” The kid walked away with a smile on her face.
“Well that was interesting.” I said.
“Yea, it was.” Andy said laughing. I felt a little sadness at that. I really did like Andy as a person; I knew he wouldn’t like me back though. Honestly, why would a guy like him like a girl like me?

“Alyssa, there you are. We’ve been looking all over for you.” Lydia said.
“Why have you been looking for me?” I asked her.
“Because, we hadn’t seen you in a while so we were worried that someone took you or something.” I laughed a little bit.
“Nope. I’ve just been signing stuff for people.”
“Oh, okay, never mind then. I’ll let the others know.” She said walking away.

“Why was she so worried about you being taken?” Andy asked.
“It’s nothing. Just something that happened a long time ago. But that’s in the past.” I said covering my arm a little bit. And took my arm and just stared at all the scars.
“Why?” He asked me.
“There are a lot of factors for this.” I said pulling my arm back. “And I’d rather not talk about them.”

I got up and walked away. I didn’t like talking about what happened back when I was trying to get the money to survive in the band, and also my parents’ death included, or my mother’s suicide and my dad’s murder. The memories still haunt me.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Courtney asked when I got on the bus.
I just walked right past her and walked to my bunk. Closing the curtain, I pulled out my iPod and listened to music for a little bit. I mainly just listened to my own band’s music. I listened for parts that I needed to work on again since I hadn’t been on stage in a while.

Thinking of my parents again, I pulled out my note pad and began to write. I first wrote a letter to my parents and then started working on a song. After the song was written I took the letter to my parents, my lighter, and my pack of cigarettes outside behind the bus.

“What are you doing?” A voice from behind me asked.
“I read somewhere that if you burn letters to the dead, they can read them.” I said lighting my cigarette. Then, with the cigarette in my mouth, I took the lighter and burned the note.
“Who did you write the letters to?” The voice asked again. I knew who it was; I just didn’t want to turn around.
“My parents.”

I finally turned around to see exactly who I thought would be there, Mr. Andy Biersack. I just sighed and blew out a perfect smoke ring.
“I’m sorry. Is that why you have all those scars?” He asked.
“One of the many reasons.”

Andy walked up to me and gave me a hug. I hugged him back and it was probably the most comforting hug I’d had since my mother died.

“One day you are going to have to tell me everything.” He said.
“What do you mean by that?” I asked.
“Never mind,” Andy said as he started walking away. I grabbed his hand and made him stay.
“No, what do you mean? I’m being serious.”
“I’ve just been thinking about what that girl said.”
“Oh,” I said dropping my hand back to my side.
“Yea.”
“I think I need to go.”

I started to walk away but Andy grabbed my wrist and pulled me back to him. When he leaned down and our lips connected it was the best feeling in the world. It was like the world just stopped spinning and it was just us two.
“I really need to go,” I said breaking the kiss.

After that, I ran. I ran back to the bus and back to my bunk. It was the only place I felt safe at the moment. I closed the curtain and put my head phones back on. I needed to think about what just happened and how it made me feel. Well, obviously it made me feel fucking amazing but, was I ready to have a relationship? Do I need one while my band and I are just starting out? I sighed not knowing the answer to either of those questions. I really did like Andy though. I looked up when the light grew brighter and saw Courtney.

“Hey,” Courtney said smiling at me.
“Hey,” I said back and taking off my head phones
“What just happened with you and blue eyes?” I laughed at the nickname.
“Nothing.”
“Alyssa that did not look like nothing.”
“So you were spying on me now?” I asked accusingly.
“You know we were just keeping an eye on you. I can’t lose you again.” I sighed.

“I know. But someday I’m going to need to be able to be on my own. I’m not like I used to be. I’m not going to sell my body for money and be taken again. Those days are long gone.” Yep, I used to be a prostitute. I ended up being taken and raped. Another equation to all the scars.
“Well, he really likes you. He watches you all the time. Hell, he even watches you while you’re on stage. He loves the music we make but he knows you wrote the words. You need to tell him everything, Alyssa.” Courtney said.

“I know,” I said looking at my hands, then my arms, then the scars. I really did hate them, but they define who I am.
“So, go, before the managers decide it’s time to leave.”
“Thanks, Court.” I said hugging her.
I got up and headed to Black Veil Brides’ tour bus.

~~~

Two Months Later

Tour ended with a bang. It was an all-around fun time. Queens United CD came out and I couldn’t be any happier and proud with how it came out. I told Andy everything, even my parent’s deaths and how they died. He accepted all of it and I think he loved me even more with all the stuff that happened. We ended up getting together that night.

We had been at my house for a little bit just sitting on the couch watching movies and cuddling. We were both relaxing before the gig my band had tonight in Las Angeles. I had just finished the perfect song and it was going to be a surprise to Andy, as it was our two month anniversary. One thing I wasn’t expecting though was the acceptance from his fan base. Even though there were the few who hated my guts because I was with him, it just made me happy.

“Las Angeles, did you miss us?!” More positive response than the first time we were here. “Good, well, here’s the song for my boyfriend Andy, as most of you know, for our two month anniversary. I love you babe.”
The music started and prepared myself for probably one of the hardest moments in my career.

“Didn’t think I could ever say these words so easily.
Now that you’re here with me I can breathe
My nose fills with your scent and I know what you say is true.
I am home in your arms.”