Heaven and Hell

I had been sitting in my tent all alone for almost an hour. I was starting to get a little hungry and decided to get up to find something to eat.

Everyone was sitting around the campfire chatting and eating what looked like the fish Daryl had caught today. I squeezed myself in between Carl and Glenn and noticed Carl was eating candy.

"Where did you get that?" I questioned. I was about to take the bag of Skittles from him when Glenn waved another bag in front of my face.

"If you stuck around longer you would have allowed me the chance to tell you I got some snacks for the kids. And some other necessities."

I grabbed the bag quickly and hugged Glenn. "You're the best."

"I know that."

I started eating the candy and Glenn kept sticking his fingers in the bag. Normally I would care but he literally went out of the way to bring supplies back for the camp that I didn't mind sharing.

"You must be so happy your dad's back." I looked up to see Jacqui talking to me. I nodded my head and smiled at her. "I'm glad there's some good in all of this. He kept talking about his kids and the whole time it was you two. So sweet."

"So you all know my story," my dad started, "Where did you and Glenn meet up at?" He was looking in my direction now. I popped a couple of Skittles in my mouth and shrugged my shoulders.

"Strip club. My name was Skittles and Glenn was my best customer."

"We worked together," Glenn said quickly. "At the pizza shop. Well, not a lot since I was the delivery guy and she was inside waitressin'. When my family turned I didn't know where else to go so luckily I made it to your home in time before they left. Shane let me tag along."

"I like the strip club story better," I replied.

"I didn't realize you were so close," my dad said. "Liv never talked much about her job."

"You never asked, Pop."

"So you weren't the one she was slammin' in the kitchen?" Shane asked. I heard some people choke on their meals and were all staring intently at both Shane and me. I glanced at Glenn who looked like he wanted to laugh.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I snapped.

"I thought everyone knew," he said shrugging his shoulders as if he was just commenting on the dinner.

"Because I seem the type to tell everyone here my business?" I really wanted to take one of the burning logs and throw it at his face. "Why would you say something like that?"

"What did he mean anyways?" Sophia asked. She was looking across at Carl who shrugged.

Shane wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and stood up. "You might want to take some of this fish to Daryl, darlin'. Don't want to him to pass out and be left behind tomorrow when y'all go look for his worthless brother."

"If you care so much go bring it yourself. And don't call me darlin'. I ain't your darlin'."

My dad's hand reached over Carl and he put it on my knee. "Can you please stop it?" I looked at his hand and then looked him in his eyes. "Just stop it Olivia. It was a mistake."

"It wasn't the first," I said quietly but I'm sure he heard me. I touched his hand and he took it off my knee. "I'm going to bed. Night y'all." I stood up and headed back to the only place I felt safe and alone. I was trying to fall asleep until I heard footsteps nearby. I quickly gripped the pistol I slept with.

"Dude, are you still awake?"

I released my grip and moved in my sleeping bag. Glenn climbed over me and slipped into his. He wiggled in and we were both staring at each other in the dark tent.

"What's up with you and Shane?"

"He lied to me."

"We all lie sometimes," Glenn said. He sounded like he was sticking up for Shane too. Everyone was so wrapped around Shane's finger. It was super annoying. "What did he lie about? He promise you we'd be saved soon? Someone will come for us?"

"He told me my dad was dead."

"Well, that's not cool."

"No shit."

"How did he know he was dead? Maybe the monitors went out and it just looked like he was flat lining or something. Or maybe... Didn't he say in the car that the military was shooting up the hospital? Maybe he was out of it and thought your dad was dead."

"You're not making things better, Glenn."

He chuckled and reached his arm out of his sleeping bag to put on my shoulder. "He's alive though. What's the big deal?"

I sighed loudly. "Because I thought he was dead. I'm such a horrible daughter and the only time I was there for him was to stare at his lifeless body after he got shot. So excuse me for being a little pissed off about being lied to."

"Sorry..." Glenn rubbed my arm then removed his hand from me. "How did Shane know about what you and Dean used to do?"

"I stupidly told him," I said. I groaned loudly and turned in my sleeping bag so I was lying on my stomach. "You can't deny that wasn't a douche move to tell everyone though."

"It was," Glenn admitted. "But why would he say that? What did you do to him?"

"He thinks Daryl and I are having sex and he's probably being a jealous old man."

"That's just dumb," Glenn said. "Why would you have sex with Daryl? He's... dirty and an asshole."

I laughed out loud. "You're dirty too."

"Yes, and see how nobody is having sex with me."

I laughed again. "Go to sleep Glenn. We have to get up early to go back into the city."

"Are you sure you want to go?" He asked. "It got pretty ugly and leaving Carl behind is kinda cruel."

"Don't jinx it," I said. "We'll be back and Carl has Shane so it'll be fine. Good night."

The next morning I woke up early and nudged Glenn to wake up as well. After we shared a quick breakfast of cereal from the box, my dad, Daryl and T-Dog finally emerged from their tents.

"Morning," my dad said. He kissed the top of my head and looked at what Glenn and I were eating. "Don't you two need a bowl?" I shook my head as I grabbed another handful of cereal and shoved it in my mouth. Glenn did the same thing and eventually my dad reached in the box to do the same.

"You really don't need to come," he said.

"I told you that you can't convince me not to come," I said. "I want to go. You can stay behind with Carl if it makes you feel better."

Daryl and my dad were both staring at each other. "No, I need to fix this. We got to bring him back."

"Maybe we should leave your kid on the top of a roof," Daryl suggested which caused me to glare at him. "I'm just throwing out ideas. It's her or one of y'all. He's up there because of you two." His knife was pointing at both T-Dog and my dad but neither of them said anything.

"Well, I'm ready to go," Glenn said. He pulled on his backpack and stood up like a kid waiting for his family to leave for Disneyland.

"You should go tell your brother goodbye," my dad suggested. "He's upset that you're leaving him."

"You're leaving him too," I said. I sighed loudly and stood up to start walking back towards the tent when Carl started coming out. He ran towards me and hugged my waist.

"Why do you have to go?"

"I'll be back," I told him. I hugged him back and kissed the top of his head. "Don't worry about me or Dad. We'll be back. We promise." Carl removed his grip from me and I held him by his shoulder's arm's length. "You stay close to Dale or Carol. Do not leave their sight, do you understand?" Carl shook his head and I hugged him once more. "We'll be back in a few hours."

"I still don't believe you're going to go out and risk your life for Merle Dixon," Shane commented. I was trying my hardest to ignore him when he came on with Carl before we left but he had to open his fat mouth.

"We already discussed this Shane," my dad said. "We need the ammo; maybe more guns too. We have to do this."

"You're only going back to save Merle. The guns and ammo are just an excuse. You just got back and you're leaving one kid behind and allowing the other one to go with you out there. You have no idea if she can even protect herself. You're risking too many lives Rick. You need to think about this."

"I've thought about it all night," my dad said. He was shaking his head and walking closer to Shane. "I'm not like you. I can't leave a man no matter how much of an asshole he is."

"She's going to get herself killed," he said pointing at me. "At least make her stay."

"He isn't making me do anything," I said annoyed. "This is my choice."

"What are you trying to prove?" Shane asked. He walked around my dad and was staring at me. I looked over at Daryl who was standing in the back of the rental truck ready to go. "You're going to rip them tight jeans of yours and see shit you wish you could erase from your brain."

"Don't talk to me about tight pants when you're pants are so much tighter." I walked towards the truck and Dale was standing there with his bolt cutters.

"You be careful, alright?" he said. He hesitantly handed me his bolt cutters and leaned in to give me a quick hug.

"I promise I'll bring this back," I told him. He flashed me a small smile while I hopped into the back of the truck where Daryl was anxiously pacing back and forth.

"Your old man is worse than an actual old man," he said. Dale looked back at him and shook his head as he walked away. "Come on, brother! We ain't got all day."

I sat down in the passenger seat next to Glenn who looked like he was going to be sick. "Are you okay?" I put my hand on his knee and smiled at him. "We'll be fine."

"Yeah," he said quietly. He swallowed hard and continued to look straight ahead. Finally after Shane got his bitching and complaints out to my dad, he and a T-Dog both finally got in the truck. The ride over there took almost half an hour. Glenn drove the car near an abandoned rail road track and parked it.

"Where do we go to first, gun shop or Merle?" Glenn asked.

"Merle!" Daryl shouted right away. "We ain't discussing it."

"What do you think Glenn?" my dad asked. "You know this place the best."

"38th is five blocks further in than where we left Merle. We might as well go find him first." We followed Glenn who knew exactly where to go and managed to only come across a few walkers. They were slow enough to run away from so none of us bothered to kill them. I was so shocked at what happened to the city. Abandoned cars were all over the place, dead bodies were scattered around. It really was the end of the world.

We walked a few more blocks until we reached a department store. There were a few walkers that Daryl quickly killed with his arrows. We walked up a flight of stairs and when we reached the top where it was indeed chained shut from the outside. I handed my dad the bolt cutters and he used to open the door that Daryl kicked open and barged through.

"Merle! Where the hell are you, you bastard?" The roof was small and I saw no sign of Merle. He was clearly not up here anymore.

"Are you sure this is the right place?" I asked Glenn. He nodded his head. Suddenly Daryl started yelling. We all ran towards where he was expecting to see Merle lying dead but it was almost an even worse sight. Lying there lifeless was a human hand. Glenn looked like he was about to be sick and looked away.

"Jesus Christ…" T-Dog muttered.

"You stupid bastard!" Daryl shouted. He had his crossbow pointed right at T-Dog. "This is your fault. Why don't you stand real close behind him, sheriff? Maybe I can get you both at once."

"Daryl, please stop," I begged. "This means he has to be alive, right?" I noticed there was another door behind him. "Look, another set of stairs. We can follow the blood drops. There's not much but maybe it'll lead us somewhere. Just don't do anything you'll regret."

"I won't regret killing this fool," he said. He stopped glaring at T-Dog to look at me. "I'll kill your daddy too if we don't find him."

"You're not killing anyone," I said. I took my gun out of my pocket and held it up at Daryl. "You kill either one of them and I won't hesitate to put a bullet in you." Daryl thought about it while he looked at everyone and lowered his crossbow finally.

"You got some balls, kid," he said. "Glad to see you ain't some little bitch."

"Watch your mouth when it comes to what you say about my kid."

"Calm down, sparky. I was complimenting her," Daryl said. He immediately started walking towards the other staircase. We all followed Daryl and ended up right where we started, no Merle in sight.

"What now?" Glenn asked.

"We're looking for my brother," Daryl growled. "I don't give a shit about ammo and guns. We're finding him."

"We're not splitting up," my dad said.

"Well I'll be here all night looking for him," Daryl said stubbornly. "Y'all can go get your ammo and shit. I'm not leaving without my brother."

"You need to think reasonably Daryl. We came here together and we're leaving together. We're not splitting up. How far do you think he got alone with a bleeding stump? You need to think about your safety, Daryl."

"Me and the girl here are going to double back then," Daryl said ignoring everything my dad just said. "We'll meet you at the gun shop."

"No, I'll go with you instead," Glenn said.

"I said the girl."

"You're not taking my daughter with you. You either stick with us or take Glenn."

"Let me go, dad." I obviously caught him off guard because he stared at me with wide eyes and shook his head. "Come on. It's Daryl. He's got the bow. It's way quieter than your guns."

"No!" he shouted. "I'm not letting you out of my sight Olivia. I allowed you to come with me but that's it. We are not splitting up."

"I'll go with them," Glenn piped up. "We're wasting time discussing this. She'll be fine Rick. We won't let anything happen to her. Right Daryl?" Daryl grumbled and nodded his head. "See? Come on. We'll meet you at the shop in ten minutes with no problems."

My dad was still hesitant but finally allowed it. "You have ten minutes." I nodded my head and he handed me the bolt cutters. "It's better than the gun. You watch yourself, okay? Whack anything that moves and use your gun if you absolutely need to." I nodded again and the three of us went in the opposite direction as my dad and T-Dog. We went through an alley way that was next to the building and saw no trace of Merle. We circled back around the department store and slowly made our way up the block.

"He's not here Daryl," Glenn said. We walked into another alley way to avoid a few walkers that were coming down towards us. "We need to just head to the gun shop. Maybe he went there."

"Merle knew nothing about this part of town. He ain't there."

"You never know," Glenn said. "This is getting ridiculous. More of those geeks are surrounding the area. We need to get out of here. You only have a few arrows, Liv only has those bolt cutters and her gun, we need to go find the others and get the hell out of here."

"I stuck a knife in your backpack," I said. "You might be able to stab something if you need to." I looked back and forth at the two of them while we were crotched down hiding behind a dumpster. "Glenn's right. If we walk around any longer we're just going to catch attention to ourselves. I'm sorry Daryl, but we need to go."

"Fine, I'll lead the way out of here," Daryl agreed. He pointed at Glenn, "You lead us to the shop and I'll be in the back." Daryl headed out of the alley way and looked around. He motioned for us to follow and Glenn started walking faster to walk ahead of us. We made it about a block away from the gun shop when I turned around to make sure everything was okay. Daryl was nowhere to be seen.

"Shit! Glenn stop," I shouted. I quickly put my mouth over my hand realizing I was speaking way too loud. "Glenn, we have to go back."

"What?" he asked. "Shit, why didn't he say anything?" Glenn and I both started running back half a block and we finally saw Daryl who was surrounded by three walkers. His back was towards us as he shot down one and started beating the other with his crossbow. He was completely unaware of the one that was walking towards him from behind. I ran as fast as I could as I hit it over its head with the bolt cutters. Daryl turned around quickly with a now loaded arrow pointed at my face. I kept whacking it on its head until it stopped moving. Glenn was busy with the third walker that Daryl hit once by stepping on its head crushing its skull.

"Took you long enough to realize I was gone," Daryl said.

I looked down at my clothes and realized they had a few blood stains on them. "I just ruined a perfectly nice outfit for you. You're welcome."

"I could have taken them all down," Daryl replied wiping his forehead with his hand. He started walking back towards the gun shop leaving Glenn and I behind to shake our heads. We were finally almost at the shop when I was completely knocked to the ground by something. I realized right away it was a walker. She was right on top of me and what little she had left of her mouth was inching closer to my face. I lost the bolt cutters when I was pushed down and was completely defenseless as I tried to push her off me. I was too afraid to even call out for the guys that I started hoping they would have heard the grunt I made when I fell.

I gave her one big push, which I thought I did alone, but realized she was being pulled off me by Daryl. He had the knife Glenn was using and rammed it into her head. Even after she stopped moving he continued to stab her head. I finally stood up and grabbed his arm.

"She's dead," I said. "Can we please go?"

"You got a little dirt on your face," he said. He started moving his hand towards my face but quickly refrained. "We're even now just so you know."

"Great, let me get my notebook to mark it down," I replied sarcastically.

"Olivia? Where have you guys been?" Of course the voice belonged to my dad and of course he was upset that it took us so long to get here. I saw his glare soften when he walked up to us and noticed the dead walker at our feet. "Are you okay?" he dropped the backpack on the ground and pulled me into a hug. "They didn't touch you did they? Or bite you or anything?" I saw the bolt cutters lying a few feet from where we were and picked them up.

"The stupid bitch knocked me over," I replied. "But she didn't bite or scratch." He rubbed my back and stopped hugging me. "I can see you got some supplies, can we go now?"

"Actually," he started. He rubbed his neck and looked at Daryl, "Merle's inside the gun shop." Daryl quickly ran off towards the gun shop before anyone could say anything. He looked at Glenn and me, "He's infected."

"What?" Glenn and I said at the same time.

"He's getting worse too," my dad said.

"We're not bringing him with us," Glenn said. "It's too risky. I don't care what Daryl says."

"Who's going to be the one to tell him that?" T-Dog asked. He picked up the bag my dad dropped and we started walking towards the gun shop. Daryl was crotched down talking to his brother and it completely broke my heart. He was the only family he had left. I wouldn't be able to put down Carl or my dad if they were in Merle's position. Since nobody bothered to make a move I walked closer to the two of them.

"Daryl…" He looked up at me and wiped his face. "He can't come with us." The old Merle I knew would have probably called me a bitch or something worse at what I was suggesting but he just looked up at his brother. "He's going to become one of those things."

Daryl stood up and looked right at me. He looked helpless and didn't know what to do. "I can't do it."

"Do you want me to do it?" I asked quietly.

"Do it," Merle said in a low voice. "I ain't turnin' into one of them things. I'd rather be fucked in the ass by that motherfucker that dropped the key than be one of them things." Daryl looked back at my dad and grabbed his gun he had with a silencer on it. He handed it to me and walked away from his brother.

"Liv, you don't have to do this," my dad said. He was standing right behind me with his hand gripping my shoulder while I held the gun in my hand. I didn't enjoy killing that walker back there but at least it was practically dead but this was still a human being. I cocked the gun and stuck it up to Merle's head.

"That bastard doesn't need to be watched over," Merle started, "But you need to… You're lucky he has…He's lucky he has someone like you around. You're not some bitch with a vagina. You got some balls."

I hesitated for a few seconds while I looked down at Merle. He was a dislikeable guy but right now I wanted to help him, tell him everything would be okay. I really wanted to bring him back with us because this was no way to die. I was glad that Daryl at least got to see his brother and wouldn't have to think about whether or not he was dead or alive for the rest of his life. I pulled the trigger and shut my eyes quickly afterwards. I turned my head away and back to the guys who were just standing there. Daryl had his back turned to us looking outside the door.

"Let's go back," my dad said breaking the long silence. Daryl held the door open while we all walked outside looking around for walkers. I was the last one out and was about to hand Daryl his gun back when he pulled me into an awkward hug. It was like he'd never really hugged anyone before and didn't know what to do. He pulled away quickly and grabbed his gun from me.

The walk back to the truck felt longer than the time it took us looking for Merle. Everyone was quiet as we got back in and started driving back. I sat in the back next to Daryl picking at a small stain of blood that was on my knee.

"I appreciate what you did," he whispered. I turned my head to look at him and shrugged my shoulders.

"I would hope someone would do the same for me," I said. "You're always talking about killing my dad so maybe it'll be easier for you."

"Are you alright though?" he asked. He cleared this throat and looked away. "I mean you're not going to cry about it or something?" I shrugged my shoulders. I wasn't going to cry over killing Merle but I couldn't describe my feelings at the moment. I felt cold and empty for what I did but I tried thinking of it like putting down a sick dog. It would be the only way that I could ever really be "okay" for what I just did. "You had this blank stare so I just wanted to, you know…" he cleared this throat again and shrugged his shoulders, "You weren't going to turn into some killer now."

I shrugged again. "I just really need to get out of these clothes. I just can't get this smell out of my head."

"Maybe I'll take you up on your little adventure," he said. "Head out towards the coast." I think that was Daryl's way of lightening the mood and making a joke but it was like my brain didn't comprehend it. Shane was right. Everything I saw today was horrible and the only thing I wanted to do was go to sleep and pretend it was all just a bad dream.

The dream was only starting though. Once we got back to the camp, everything was eerily quiet and different. We noticed right away as soon as we got out of the car that there were dead bodies lying all over the place. This was not good.

"Carl!" I started screaming out. "Carl, where are you?" I started running towards the RV when I noticed Andrea crying over Amy's dead body. This was not looking good. "Carl!"