Shattered By Broken Dreams

Once Savannah got to the dressing room, she made a bee-line for the shower to shed her sweaty clothes. After cleaning up her heavy stage make-up, having a quick shower, and donning a fresh pair of black cargo pants and a Misfits t-shirts she rejoined her band mates in the main room.
“So what happened with you and Zacky?,” Erica asked her. She had seen the quick awkward exchange as she walked off the stage, and she glanced at Savannah curiously.
“Ugh, he just mumbled that we were good on stage and I mumbled back thanks and ran back here,” Savannah admitted. Erica rolled her eyes.
“Well, at least he’s trying,” she said with a sigh.
“I don’t know if I want him to try,” Savannah said as she dug around in the fridge before pulling out a pre-mixed Vodka and Raspberry and unscrewing the cap off the bottle. She took a long swig of the drink before she turned back around to face Erica. “I know what Jimmy told me,” she said, as she sat beside Erica on the couch. “I don’t know what to think about it,” she admitted. “If my Dad did say something to him, why would he not want to speak to me for ten years? That’s what I don’t get,” she said with a sigh. “If you don’t hate someone, you don’t spend ten years avoiding them like the plague.”
“Like you spent ten years avoiding him,” Tommy added to the conversation as he sat on the arm of the couch next to her. She glanced up at him.
“He broke my heart and left me to rot in a hospital, T,” she responded with a scowl. “Wouldn’t you be a little pissed off if the love of your life did that to you?”
“Yep,” he responded simply.
“Are you going to come and watch them?,” Erica asked. Savannah shrugged.
“I suppose I should,” she admitted. “It’s the first show, and I want to support them. As much as I can’t stand Zacky, the other boys are my friends.”

Shortly thereafter, Savannah, Erica, Tommy, Kyle, Trisha and Lee were standing side stage. Jimmy wandered through the fog shrouded stage to his drums. His faint figure could be seen threw the swirl of fog and the fans in the front row began to shriek. Zacky, Brian and Johnny ran out and got into position. The lights came on, and the opening bars of Critical Acclaim blared through the Arena as Matt ran to center stage. The sound quality was perfect , and Savannah had to admit that the band had evolved amazingly since she had first hung around with them fifteen years prior. She was proud of them, and everything they had achieved. She glanced to her right and saw Tommy flirting unashamedly with Lee, who was smirking back at him.
“You think he’s gonna crash and burn?,” Erica asked her, nudging her arm.
“Don’t know,” Savannah replied with a laugh. “But I think he’s gonna have fun trying.” She glanced back to the stage to notice that Zacky was looking at her. He quickly looked away and moved to center stage to stand back to back with Brian.
“He’s still into you,” Trisha mused. Savannah rolled her eyes.
“In case you’re forgetting he has a little orange girlfriend at home.”
“That doesn’t mean that he doesn’t still want you,” Erica replied. “Whatever feelings he had ten years are only just under the surface.”
“What feelings?,” Savannah replied sharply. “He dumped me, remember?” Shaking her head, she moved away and walked back to the dressing room.

Once she reached the dressing room, she raided the fridge for another vodka and sat on the couch with her legs curled underneath her. Her mind was a confusing jumble of thoughts as she sat there. She knew that deep down, some of the old feelings for Zacky were emerging but she was so confused she didn’t know whether it was the old attraction that she had for him, or the old anger coming back to the surface. She cursed herself for not having dealt with the problem ten years ago, and letting it fester inside of her for so long. She mused that maybe they just needed closure so that they could both move on. Well, Zacky had moved on with Cheesy Puff, but Savannah knew that she had never really moved on totally. She had gone out on plenty of dates in the intervening ten years, and had slept with a handful of men, but she had never let her guard down long enough to allow anyone to get close to her heart. She sighed, as she realized that she had allowed the hurt to consume her life, and she wondered fleetingly if she had pushed aside a man who would have loved her as she deserved to be loved, but she wouldn’t let him in.

The door to the dressing room opened, and Kyle walked inside.
“You doing OK?” he asked her. With a sad smile, she shrugged.
“I’m OK,” she said. “Just thinking over things.”
“Well, I’m not gonna let you sit here and drink alone,” he said with a smile as he raided the fridge for beer, then plopped down next to her on the couch. He clinked his bottle against hers and she smiled. Kyle wasn’t the biggest talker in the world, but she was grateful for his solid presence at his side. Hell, all of her friends with the exception of Zacky had stood by her whilst she had recuperated from the accident and it had brought all of them closer together. Given the icy state of affairs with her father, she didn’t see her mother much and with her brother working at the Huntington Beach police department and being on shift work, she didn’t see nearly enough of Ryan either. The band and the remaining members of Avenged were her family now. Just as her thoughts turned to Ryan, her cell phone beeped and she checked her messages.

Hey sis, just want to say that I hope the show went well

Thanks hon. It was beyond awesome!

Mum says to say Hi, and she wants to come to one of the Cali shows

Don’t put her in the mosh pit :p

If she can put up with Dad, she can put up with some moshers :p

When are you going to come out?

Hopefully soon – not gonna miss my little sis’s band becoming bigger than The Beatles

Savannah smiled. Damn, she could only wish that Crimson Sins became bigger than The Beatles. She was distracted from her texting by the dressing room door opening. Matt walked through the door, freshly showered. She quickly glanced at her watch and realized that she had been hidden away in the dressing room for nearly two hours. Zacky followed Matt into the room, and he frowned upon seeing Savannah sitting on the couch texting away on her phone.

Trisha bounded into the room and sat on the arm of the couch next to Savannah.
“Don’t look now, but somebody thinks you’re texting a man,” she whispered to Savannah with a smirk evident in her voice.
“I am texting a man,” Savannah replied. She just didn’t need to broadcast to Zacky that it was her brother. With a huff, Zacky turned and left the room.