Love the Loveless

I sat on the hospital bed, my head hung and hands in my lap. I  guess I had some mental stability issue where my brain had no say in what I did. My body was on auto polite pretty much. It's really frightening. I want to know what else I do during my 'blackouts'. It was from to much stress that I had taken on. I wanted to lean into Jacky for comfort but I wasn't sure if he really antes to. I have twelve stitches in my arm now. It hurts so bad to move my wrist. The doctor walked in and handed me a prescription. I was to pick up a bottle of a hundred pills from the pharmacy that was in The hospital. I smiled at the doctor and get down from the bed wincing as I moved my arm. Something struck me and I teared up. I Will not be able to play again until my arm is healed! I had tears slowly rolling down my cheeks. Playing up there on that stage was so amazing! And now I won't be able to do it again. I was walking, with my head down, until I felt an arm Wrap around my waist. I looked up at Jacky who was smiling sadly down at me. I leaned up and pecked his cheek. He whipped my tears and kissed my head.

We walked out to everyone in the waiting room and I smiled a bit at them saying, "I'm sorry for waking you guys... I don't know what happened..." they all got up and hugged me being careful of my arm. I one arm hugged them back. They are all awesome. "Well now what are we going to do for a bass player?" Ryan said jokingly. I looked at him giggling a bit. "well it's only going to take two weeks for my arm to heal  Then I can play again..." I said. He squealed and hugged me again. "REALLY?! That's not to bad! Well then you will be back on stage strutting your stuff again in eight shows."  he said and I smiled nodding. "I can't wait... But you guys let's go back to the bus and sleep okay? I just have to get my medicine." I said. They nodded and everyone started to walk back. Except for Jacky. I know he said he loved me but it still kind of hurts because he said that he wouldn't date until the girl proved herself.

Really the only thing I had proven was how fucked up I was. I sighed and walked to the pharmacy and got my prescription. Jacky kissed my head again and a slight blush showed on my cheeks. He smiled and walked me back onto the bus. I was so tired.

I yawned saying quietly, "Can we sleep in your bunk Jacky? I really don't want to be alone." I was leaning into his side. He stiffened but eventually nodded. We walked back and I climbed into the bunk cuddled back into the wall. Jacky stood outside of the curtain and I looked at him my eyebrows furrowed. He shuffled awkwardly an I grabbed his hand. "Jacky I know I've hurt you... But please? I just want to lay with you. I won't do anything.." I said and he nodded climbing in next to me. I laid my head on his chest and something caught my mind.

"Can I see your phone?" I asked. He looked over at me confused and I rolled my eyes. "You broke mine I just need to see the date." I continued and he nodded pulling his phone out. I saw it was April 24th. I smiled a bit. Tomorrow was my eighteenth birthday.

I giggled and put the phone away cuddling into Jacky again. "What was that for?" he asked. I giggled and told him, "Tomorrow I'm eighteen.." he only nodded and kissed my head saying, "Happy birthday Hayden..." before we both fell into a peaceful sleep.