Behind The Scenes Of My Heart
Behind The Scenes Of My Heart
Gerard sat down with Steven in two dark coloured chairs, both of them beside a flat screen TV flashing the name "BAMBOOZLED" in bloody red letters.
"So, Gerard, here's my first question for you: Are you or are you not bisexual? I mean, I'm not against any of that, but how you've been acting during the Taste of Chaos tour...it had me and other fans thinking about you. Not only you...but Frank." Steven said cautiously, making Gerard's pale face morph to a bright shade of scarlet.
"I...I don't know how to answer this..." Gerard mumbled confusingly, his face matching his tone of voice.
Steven stared at Gerard worriedly, "You know, you don't have to answer--"
"Frank, would you change the channel to Fuse for me?" Mikey called from the back of the tour bus, causing Frank to click the channel to Bamboozle, which happens to be airing the episode of Steven's interview with Gerard, which was unfamiliar to Frank's pair of eyes.
"--I'll answer it, it's fine. I..I just don't know how to answer. Okay. I am bisexual. I know it's weird, I know it's different, it's just...he makes me think differently about guys. I don't know what it is, but ever since I layed my eyes upon him, he made me think of men how I thought of women before I met the guy." Gerard admitted, his eyes falling to the ground shamefully and innocently.
"Who is this 'guy'?" Steven questioned curiously. "Burt?" He guessed, sounding like he was kidding, even though his expression was still on 'serious.'
"Hey, Gerard, you're on TV again!" Frank shouted, catching Gerard's attention from the top bunk, which happens to be his.
"Which one?" Gerard said while getting up from his bunk. He took one look at the flat screen television screen and his eyes widened. "No...N-no...shut it off, Frankie.."
"But, Gerard--"
"SHUT THE FUCKING TV OFF." Gerard roared at Frank, his emotions stirring in his stomach.
"No. It's not Burt. Burt is a good friend, yes, but he's not like him." TV Gerard awkwardly corrected, avoiding Steven's questions with a correction to his assumption.
"So then..who is he?" Steven repeated.
"Frank. Frank Iero. I love him...I'm in love with him," Gerard said disappointingly, his head buried in his hands. "I've been in love with him since he went to go see MCR first perform. I-I don't know.." He choked, "I know he doesn't love me...he has Jamia...I feel so happy for him, because h-he's m-my best friend..but I still love him. I love him so damn much."
Steven tried to comfort the crying man, but all that he would think of was a pat on the baack and a, "Gerard..it's okay."
But Gerard shook his head quickly. He knew it was wrong to be in love with his own best friend--who was married. Fucking married.
Frank looked up at Gerard, whose eyes were almost drenched in tears that were trying to be held back.
Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
The television screen went blank..and then another interview came on.
"Frank Iero, how are you today?"
"I'm doing great, Steve! And how is your day?"
"Well...pretty good, I've had better, but I'm not going to mope about my problems right now. I need to ask you this question because your fans have been bugging me to ask it. Are you up for the challenge?" Steven warned.
Frank nodded. "Frank Iero is ready for anything."
Steven closed his eyes and sighed before saying, "Are you bisexual?"
"No....they can't..they said they wouldn't...please, no, please. I don't care if they show the answer, I just don't want the next speech to be heard. Please---Oh dear God." Frank begged in front of the TV screen, his palms becoming sweaty and his forehead wrinkling from anxiety.
"Yes. I am bisexual. I like men and women. I don't care what people think of me...except.." Frank cut his sentence short, knowing that he didn't want any private thoughts being said on national television.
"....Except what?" Steven half-repeated, raising an eyebrow at the smaller man.
"I..I like this guy..or..I love this guy..."
"You're married, Frank." Steven corrected, even though it wasn't an error.
"Let me finish." Frank groaned. "I love this guy, I know I'm married, but Jamia...I don't really love her. I mean, I do, as a really good friend, but not as a wife. I try to love her..but nothing really seems to work. I love Gerard--I mean him."
"Whoa. You love Gerard?"
"Yes. I do. So what? I mean...heheh...right?" Frank stated awkwardly, trying to diffuse the tension. Steven's face acted stunned as his eyes were glued to Frank's face, which was contorted in pressure and embarrassment.
"You never told me? Ever?" Gerard asked, his voice cracking due to his uncontrollable emotions.
"I was afraid, Gee. I've always loved you...always wanted to be in your arms, be your man, your lady, your everything. I didn't want Jamia. She was just another excuse for us to be fictional. She was a hoax." Frank admitted, standing from the couch on the bus.
Mikey stared at Gerard, then at Frank, his jaw dropped and his mind flustered. He didn't know that either of them had feelings for the other, he just thought they were playing funny games to tease the crowd of what they weren't allowed to do.
"I love you, Frank." Gerard dreamily sighed with a smile, opening his arms and attracting the smaller man into his large bear arms.
"I love you too, Geebear." Frank said back, his face nuzzling into Gerard's clothed chest. Gerard's face turned pale, then flushed in a deep shade of red, almost like Frank's eyeshadow.
"We'll have a day together. Just you and me." Frank said.
"Yes. I want that. Oh, and by the way, you are my man, my lady, and, most importantly, my everything. I love you more than life itself. I love you more than anything and anyone." Gerard stated romantically, squeezing Frank's body and causing the smaller man to squeal and smile in happiness.
"More than me...?" Mikey mumbled sadly, but no one else heard.
"Gerard...I need to give you something." Frank tugged away from Gerard's arms, triggering alarm on his face, and reached into his pocket to pull out a crumpled piece of paper. "I've been keeping this from you for ages, and I wanted to give this to you when you found out that I had been secretly in love with you, so here you go!"
Gerard took the note in a loose grasp, and uncrumpled the letter.
Dear Gerard,
I have loved you ever since the day that I have set my eyes upon your lustful body. I must say, you are one sexy sonuvabitch. I know, I know, I need to watch my language...but it's the truth.
You may not notice it in yourself, but your eyes are absolutely gorgeous. I love how they twinkle at me when you sing your little songs on stage during concerts, and I love how they reflect the sunlight during the "date" nights. They make my heart melt, to be honest.
Also, there's your smile. I love how dorky and adorable it may be at times, but when the going gets tough, and when I mean tough, I mean seductive, I get so turned on that my little Frankie gets a little bit too hard...if you know what I mean.
I love your personality, too. You're so full of darkness and mystery, yet you have this colourful side that's cheerful and exciting. It's like you were made for me, like you were my other half or something. But, whatever, you're still a big hot nerd to me.
Well...that's about all I can think of, since I'm drunk and alone at this filthy bar.
I'll catch ya later, alright?
Love,
Frankie.
P.S. I love you! xoxoxo
Gerard's eyes filled up with tears again, but these tears were tears of joy, not sadness and fear. He folded the letter in his hand, wrapped his arms around Frank's waist, and pulled him into a deep, passionate kiss. Frank couldn't help but melt into the kiss, knowing that this would be the best day of his life (until sex, of course).
"What are we going to say to Jamia?" Gerard asked after he pulled away from the long kiss.
"Who cares? She has other men to tend to." Frank replied.
The two continued on from where they were, their lips meeting and touching, their hearts racing and pounding for one another, and their fingers entwined in a tight grasp of each other's hands.
Neither of them wanted life to end, and neither of them wanted their new and blooming love to die off. Gerard, for the first time in his life, felt a warmth in his heart, and Frank, as confident and strong as he may look before this all happened, felt true strength and true confidence in his soul as their romance blossomed into the atmosphere around them.
Fin.
"So, Gerard, here's my first question for you: Are you or are you not bisexual? I mean, I'm not against any of that, but how you've been acting during the Taste of Chaos tour...it had me and other fans thinking about you. Not only you...but Frank." Steven said cautiously, making Gerard's pale face morph to a bright shade of scarlet.
"I...I don't know how to answer this..." Gerard mumbled confusingly, his face matching his tone of voice.
Steven stared at Gerard worriedly, "You know, you don't have to answer--"
"Frank, would you change the channel to Fuse for me?" Mikey called from the back of the tour bus, causing Frank to click the channel to Bamboozle, which happens to be airing the episode of Steven's interview with Gerard, which was unfamiliar to Frank's pair of eyes.
"--I'll answer it, it's fine. I..I just don't know how to answer. Okay. I am bisexual. I know it's weird, I know it's different, it's just...he makes me think differently about guys. I don't know what it is, but ever since I layed my eyes upon him, he made me think of men how I thought of women before I met the guy." Gerard admitted, his eyes falling to the ground shamefully and innocently.
"Who is this 'guy'?" Steven questioned curiously. "Burt?" He guessed, sounding like he was kidding, even though his expression was still on 'serious.'
"Hey, Gerard, you're on TV again!" Frank shouted, catching Gerard's attention from the top bunk, which happens to be his.
"Which one?" Gerard said while getting up from his bunk. He took one look at the flat screen television screen and his eyes widened. "No...N-no...shut it off, Frankie.."
"But, Gerard--"
"SHUT THE FUCKING TV OFF." Gerard roared at Frank, his emotions stirring in his stomach.
"No. It's not Burt. Burt is a good friend, yes, but he's not like him." TV Gerard awkwardly corrected, avoiding Steven's questions with a correction to his assumption.
"So then..who is he?" Steven repeated.
"Frank. Frank Iero. I love him...I'm in love with him," Gerard said disappointingly, his head buried in his hands. "I've been in love with him since he went to go see MCR first perform. I-I don't know.." He choked, "I know he doesn't love me...he has Jamia...I feel so happy for him, because h-he's m-my best friend..but I still love him. I love him so damn much."
Steven tried to comfort the crying man, but all that he would think of was a pat on the baack and a, "Gerard..it's okay."
But Gerard shook his head quickly. He knew it was wrong to be in love with his own best friend--who was married. Fucking married.
Frank looked up at Gerard, whose eyes were almost drenched in tears that were trying to be held back.
Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
The television screen went blank..and then another interview came on.
"Frank Iero, how are you today?"
"I'm doing great, Steve! And how is your day?"
"Well...pretty good, I've had better, but I'm not going to mope about my problems right now. I need to ask you this question because your fans have been bugging me to ask it. Are you up for the challenge?" Steven warned.
Frank nodded. "Frank Iero is ready for anything."
Steven closed his eyes and sighed before saying, "Are you bisexual?"
"No....they can't..they said they wouldn't...please, no, please. I don't care if they show the answer, I just don't want the next speech to be heard. Please---Oh dear God." Frank begged in front of the TV screen, his palms becoming sweaty and his forehead wrinkling from anxiety.
"Yes. I am bisexual. I like men and women. I don't care what people think of me...except.." Frank cut his sentence short, knowing that he didn't want any private thoughts being said on national television.
"....Except what?" Steven half-repeated, raising an eyebrow at the smaller man.
"I..I like this guy..or..I love this guy..."
"You're married, Frank." Steven corrected, even though it wasn't an error.
"Let me finish." Frank groaned. "I love this guy, I know I'm married, but Jamia...I don't really love her. I mean, I do, as a really good friend, but not as a wife. I try to love her..but nothing really seems to work. I love Gerard--I mean him."
"Whoa. You love Gerard?"
"Yes. I do. So what? I mean...heheh...right?" Frank stated awkwardly, trying to diffuse the tension. Steven's face acted stunned as his eyes were glued to Frank's face, which was contorted in pressure and embarrassment.
"You never told me? Ever?" Gerard asked, his voice cracking due to his uncontrollable emotions.
"I was afraid, Gee. I've always loved you...always wanted to be in your arms, be your man, your lady, your everything. I didn't want Jamia. She was just another excuse for us to be fictional. She was a hoax." Frank admitted, standing from the couch on the bus.
Mikey stared at Gerard, then at Frank, his jaw dropped and his mind flustered. He didn't know that either of them had feelings for the other, he just thought they were playing funny games to tease the crowd of what they weren't allowed to do.
"I love you, Frank." Gerard dreamily sighed with a smile, opening his arms and attracting the smaller man into his large bear arms.
"I love you too, Geebear." Frank said back, his face nuzzling into Gerard's clothed chest. Gerard's face turned pale, then flushed in a deep shade of red, almost like Frank's eyeshadow.
"We'll have a day together. Just you and me." Frank said.
"Yes. I want that. Oh, and by the way, you are my man, my lady, and, most importantly, my everything. I love you more than life itself. I love you more than anything and anyone." Gerard stated romantically, squeezing Frank's body and causing the smaller man to squeal and smile in happiness.
"More than me...?" Mikey mumbled sadly, but no one else heard.
"Gerard...I need to give you something." Frank tugged away from Gerard's arms, triggering alarm on his face, and reached into his pocket to pull out a crumpled piece of paper. "I've been keeping this from you for ages, and I wanted to give this to you when you found out that I had been secretly in love with you, so here you go!"
Gerard took the note in a loose grasp, and uncrumpled the letter.
Dear Gerard,
I have loved you ever since the day that I have set my eyes upon your lustful body. I must say, you are one sexy sonuvabitch. I know, I know, I need to watch my language...but it's the truth.
You may not notice it in yourself, but your eyes are absolutely gorgeous. I love how they twinkle at me when you sing your little songs on stage during concerts, and I love how they reflect the sunlight during the "date" nights. They make my heart melt, to be honest.
Also, there's your smile. I love how dorky and adorable it may be at times, but when the going gets tough, and when I mean tough, I mean seductive, I get so turned on that my little Frankie gets a little bit too hard...if you know what I mean.
I love your personality, too. You're so full of darkness and mystery, yet you have this colourful side that's cheerful and exciting. It's like you were made for me, like you were my other half or something. But, whatever, you're still a big hot nerd to me.
Well...that's about all I can think of, since I'm drunk and alone at this filthy bar.
I'll catch ya later, alright?
Love,
Frankie.
P.S. I love you! xoxoxo
Gerard's eyes filled up with tears again, but these tears were tears of joy, not sadness and fear. He folded the letter in his hand, wrapped his arms around Frank's waist, and pulled him into a deep, passionate kiss. Frank couldn't help but melt into the kiss, knowing that this would be the best day of his life (until sex, of course).
"What are we going to say to Jamia?" Gerard asked after he pulled away from the long kiss.
"Who cares? She has other men to tend to." Frank replied.
The two continued on from where they were, their lips meeting and touching, their hearts racing and pounding for one another, and their fingers entwined in a tight grasp of each other's hands.
Neither of them wanted life to end, and neither of them wanted their new and blooming love to die off. Gerard, for the first time in his life, felt a warmth in his heart, and Frank, as confident and strong as he may look before this all happened, felt true strength and true confidence in his soul as their romance blossomed into the atmosphere around them.
Fin.
♠ ♠ ♠
Wrote this while thinking of a special someone, so if it gets deep and personal, I apologize in advance for my act of foolishness.Thank you for reading, I very much appreciate it! <3