Bang

Thursday, June 14th, 2012. 12:07pm.

There were 7 days left of school. An hour and fifty-three minutes until this day was over. Everyone was at lunch. At a school this size, everyone lunched together at the same time. A closed campus ensured that everyone was present. It rained that day, too, an anomaly for a warm almost-summer day. No one wanted to sit in the rain so everyone was crowded in the cafeteria, two to a seat, people on laps, laughing when their friend fell off. It was stuffy from too many bodies. I was pushed against the wall by my best friend Lyla and her boyfriend, Todd. They were sucking face like their lives depended on it. It wasn’t the best visual in the world since Todd was woefully unattractive. I never understood why Lyla dated him. Lyla, who was tragically beautiful, could have any boy in the entire school and yet she dated Todd, a chubby, pock-marked boy with angry words and a chip on his shoulder. Normally, seeing them together didn’t bother me so much. I didn’t understand their relationship but I was usually too busy with my own relationship to care. But he’d broken up with me and now I did nothing but mope when I saw other couples.

Lunch would have been over in thirteen minutes. Thirteen more minutes and everyone would have been free. The cafeteria would empty out as people went to their lockers to get their things for their next class. The air would thin out and cool down and you’d finally be able to hear the buzzing of the fluorescent lights that was currently masked by happy chatter. In thirteen minutes, the scraping of plastic chairs with metal feet would become a symphony. The remnants of lunch would fill the trashcans to the brim and then would spill over onto the floor. People would tiptoe around the mess and stupid jocks would try to shove each other into the mess. A few bystanders would get caught in the fray and end up with food crusting on their shoes. The image was so vividly ingrained in my head because it happened every day. I could even name the people who would do the shoving and the people who would sadly suffer the consequences of dumb jock action.

Todd was slipping in his chair. Instead of breaking the lip-lock, he reached over to my chair and shoved until he’d righted himself. It worked well for him but I ended up pinching my arm between the chair and the wall. There was an angry red mark below my elbow and it twinged for a few moments. I rubbed my elbow, massaging the muscles around it into order and peered over at the table that I would have been sitting at a week ago. Lyla, Todd, and I would have all been sitting there. Todd because he would have known Lyla, Lyla because she was associated with me, and me because I was dating Josh. But now that Josh and I were no longer Josh and I our lunch spot privileges had been revoked.

Josh was beautiful. Broad shoulders and a strong jaw made him movie star hot. Half the girls at this school were gaga for him. Myself included. It had surprised me the day he first said hi to me last year. Me, a lowly freshman, being approached by the cutest junior in school. I’d stuttered my way through a greeting, blushing crazily. We were library TAs together. Freshman normally didn’t get the job but they’d accidently over-booked one of my classes and, lucky me, I was chosen as one of the ones to get booted. I’d been scanning the romance novel section, flipping through a particularly steamy one with a half-naked Fabio and his half-naked girlfriend locked in a passionate embrace on the cover.

“Good book?” A voice had said. My mind had been swirling through a pretty intimate sex scene and it encased my head in a foggy wreath.

“Yeah,” I’d mumbled without thinking. He’d laughed and I realized who it was. My cheeks burned with embarrassment and I tried to duck away but Josh had been a persistent guy. Day after day he’d take a crack at chipping away my shyness until I felt friendly towards him. I was happy to be his friend. Josh was a nice guy and, let’s face it, any girl would be lucky to be friends with him. In my dizziest daydreams, I fantasized about Josh professing his love for me. He’d sweep me into his arms right there among the books and it’d be a scene straight from Atonement. It didn’t happy like that, of course. But as I was shelving biographies, wrinkling my nose at the cover of a fat lady trying out seductive poses, he squatted beside me. He made small talk with me until I was done and then helped me to my feet. I was just about to pull my hand away when he’d leaned forward and kissed me.

It had been a small kiss, a light peck, and Josh actually looked a little shy afterwards. Maybe it was because he looked so shy that made me kiss him again. But I did. He asked me on a date after our second, our third, our fourth kiss and we’d been together ever since. Until a week ago when he up and dumped me a week before our one year anniversary. That one year anniversary? Yeah, that’d be today.

After a few more times of being shoved into the wall, my elbow was throbbing and I was thoroughly annoyed. I mumbled a goodbye to Lyla, who didn’t even notice, and started for the cafeteria doors.

Five minutes until the bell rang. I’d just be there early.

I was passing Josh’s table when it happened. I stumbled, sliding on someone’s tray that had fallen off the garbage heap. It delayed my exit and attracted Josh’s attention. He stared at me. I couldn’t read anything in his eyes. Did he remember what today was? Judging by the indifferent facial expression, I’d say not. I straightened up but didn’t go towards the door. There were two exits, not counting the kitchen, that led out of the cafeteria. One led back into the main building and one led outside. Simultaneously the doors exploded open, smacking loudly into the cafeteria walls in either side. I didn’t know what was happening at the other exit. I stared, not at the guy who’d came through the doors, but at what he was holding. Cradled in his arms was a long, shiny shotgun. Holstered at his sides were two extra handguns. Screams went up and people scrambled for cover. A shot was fired into the air and instinct had me hit the floor. The impact jarred my body and my teeth sliced into my lip. My hand was in something sticky and a wet spot was spreading on my left ankle.

“Everybody shut up!” It was the guy in front of me. Robert was his name. He hadn’t been the one to shoot, no, that was the guy somewhere behind me. He had a gun—probably more than one—too. I was shaking. People whimpered but no one said anything. For once in our school’s history, the entire student body was silent. The lunch ladies were hustled in from the kitchen by another gun-wielding senior that I recognized but didn’t know the name of. They were told to sit on the floor. The three guys patrolled the cafeteria, pointing their guns at students randomly. Each time someone saw the end of the barrel, they burst into tears. These guys had even the manliest guys sobbing quietly.

I looked over at Josh. He stared at me and this time I could see what was in his eyes. He was scared. Scared for me, scared for himself, scared for everyone else… I wasn’t sure. He’d managed to get under his table with a few others. I didn’t dare move but I wanted to crawl over to him and have him wrap his arms around me and tell me everything would be okay. It would be okay. This is the theatre group just putting on a little skit for us. Really, it’s okay. But Robert wasn’t in drama and I’d never seen the other guys act before even though I regularly went to the school’s plays.

“Alright, listen up,” Robert said. He’d pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and it dangled between his lips. Robert was considered an outsider. When he was a freshman, he’d been the designated punching bag for many of the upperclassman and even kids in his own grade, the ones who were big enough to beat up a scrawny kid. Or so I’d heard. It was before my time but Josh had told me stories. It was awful what they did to him. He’d even tried to commit suicide once or twice. Now it seemed like he didn’t want to die, he wanted everyone else to die. “When I say your name, you’re gonna stand up. You got it?” No one said anything. It was a rhetorical question. Robert rattled off a list of five names, all boys, all athletes. They crawled out from under their respective tables, each one wet-cheeked and red-eyed. These were some of the guys he’d pointed his shotgun at. Before I could process what was happening, Robert pulled the trigger. Blood splattered everywhere. Robert reloaded and shot. Reloaded and shot. Reloaded and shot. Reloaded and shot. It was quick, it was loud, and it was messy.

People screamed and a few people tried to escape but they guarded the exits and there was nowhere to go. Bang, bang, bang. Escapees didn’t merit the shotgun, just a handgun. They fell. I wasn’t sure if they were dead but they were certainly down for the count. My whole body shook with fear and tears fell in silent rivers down my face. I looked over at Josh. He wasn’t crying but there was a look of stunned terror on his face. Carefully, he reached for me, his hand outstretching from under the table. I shook my head. I couldn’t move. I wouldn’t join the dead or injured. Josh nodded urgently and reached again. I shook my head quickly and then stopped when Robert’s boots entered my vision.

“What do we have here?” he said. He reached down and yanked me to my feet. I almost fell. My knees were quavering and they could barely hold my weight. I was visibly shaking. “Oh, don’t be scared, Lily.” He wiped my tears away with a grimy finger. I wanted to puke.

“Don’t,” Josh said. He got up from under the table and one of the guys across the cafeteria aimed his gun at him. Robert waved at the gunman and he lowered his weapon.

Robert smiled at Josh, like they were old pals. Like they’d just run into each other at the supermarket and were exchanging casualties. “Here,” Robert said. He nudged me towards Josh and I practically ran to him. He wrapped his arms possessively, protectively, around me. “You’ve been nice to me, Josh. And your girl isn’t involved in this.” Then he barked out a few more names. Josh and I scrambled under the table, which was now empty. The others who had been under here were now standing beside the table. A sob escaped my lips and I didn’t want to look but I couldn’t turn away. Josh’s arms tightened around me.

Just like before, these people were gunned down. Their bodies fell to the floor and their blood splattered on my face, on my clothes. More screams. By now, the silence had been broken. No one spoke but everyone was crying. People were dying. People were already dead. I clutched Josh’s hand. A few tables over, Lyla was shaking and Todd was crying loudly. She’d curled into herself, wrapping her arms around her legs and Todd was rocking back and forth. He wasn’t even bothering to comfort her and for a moment, I hated him. But then his name was called and all I felt was pity. Lyla cried out for him. He screamed and cried and begged but that only made them shoot him where he cowered. The blood covered Lyla and she screamed. Over and over and over. She wouldn’t stop. It didn’t matter that she was hysterical over seeing her boyfriend murdered. One of the guys closest to her yelled at her to shut up. But she couldn’t hear him over her screams. So he shot her.

I opened my mouth to scream but Josh clamped a hand over my mouth. I sobbed, my body shaking violently from fear and sorrow. Where were the police? Why wasn’t anyone rescuing us? More names were called. But no one stood up. They were shot from where they hid. By now I realized the pattern. Apart from Lyla and Todd, everyone whose named had been called was considered popular. They were rich. They all had money and status and used their privileges to torture people like Robert, poor and a “freak”.

Robert yelled more names. He only killed one more person, though. The doors opened and the S.W.A.T team burst in. Robert and the two others went wild and shot at whoever they killed. Robert missed all his shots. One of the guys killed another and the last guy hit me.

I shrieked in pain as the bullet ripped through my leg. It hurt. Nothing had ever hurt this much. It was all I could think about. The pain was white hot and it spread viciously throughout my body. Nothing else registered. Not Josh shaking me, not him dragging me out from under the table and carrying me outside to the ambulance. Not the ambulance ride or the doctors shouting orders at each other. All I could think was pain. I couldn’t even see. It had blinded me. And then it stopped.

I woke up three days later. Josh was at my bedside. The news played on my TV. It recounted the shooting. Robert Lowe, Samuel Vincent, and Marcus Rodriguez were the culprits. They’d been gunned down after opening fire when the S.W.A.T. team arrived. Fifteen people died. It showed their pictures, each one staying up for a few seconds with their name below their faces. None of the shooters were shown. Then Lyla’s appeared. I started to cry. Josh jumped, surprised that I was awake, and then he pulled me, as best he could, into his arms. I cried for a long time. I couldn’t stop. The nurse came in and injected something into my IV. Just like before, with the pain, everything stopped.

This time the TV was turned off. Josh was asleep. He looked rugged in the faint moonlight, the stubble casting shadows over his strong face.

“He hasn’t left.” It was my mother. She smiled at me when I looked at her.

“What happened?”

“You were shot, honey,” her voice wavered, “but you’re healing.”

I shook my head. “I meant what happened at school.”

She looked away for a moment before shaking her head. “Those boys held up everyone in the cafeteria.” I knew this. “They shot a bunch of people.” I knew that, too. “The funeral is tomorrow.” That I didn’t know. “The doctors say that if you’re feeling okay, you can go. But you’ll be in a wheel chair and you’ll have to come right back.”

“Why?”

Mom reached out and took my hand. “Because you’re not done getting better yet.”

Again, I shook my head. “No. Why did they shoot everyone?”

“They don’t know yet,” she told me.

But that was a lie. I knew why. The police hadn’t made the obvious connection yet. Everyone had been rich. Everyone had bullied Robert and those who hadn’t, had probably bullied Samuel or Marcus. They’d picked those people specifically to make them pay. Except Lyla and Todd. I wasn’t sure why Todd had been singled out. I couldn’t remember him doing anything to Robert, Samuel, or Marcus but he was a year older than us. It was possible that he’d done things his freshman year. And Lyla… she’d been caught in the crossfire. An innocent bystander who’d momentarily lost it when she saw her boyfriend murdered in front of her. They shot her for nothing.

I looked over at Josh who had begun to twitch in his sleep. His eyes moved back and forth under his eyelids and he jolted awake. He glanced around frantically until he saw me. His body relaxed and he moved to grab my hand. A nurse came in to check on me. When she saw I was awake, she ordered Mom and Josh to leave. She drew some blood, took some tests, and checked my bullet wound. I was lucky, she said. If that bullet had been any farther to the left, it would have shattered my bone. Yes. I was lucky.

The funeral was the largest I’d ever seen. Everyone came. Fifteen people had died. That was a lot of family come to mourn their loved ones. Each person would have an individual, private funeral, too, but the mass one was agreed upon to let the students come to say goodbye to their classmates. It was crazy how quickly everything changed. A week ago these people were alive. A week ago and they were smiling and laughing. A week ago I was single and could walk properly. A week ago Josh wasn’t plagued by nightmares. A week ago Lyla would have been making out with her boyfriend. All of this happened in less than an hour. But fifteen people had died and that hour had changed all of us forever.

A few people spoke about one classmate or another. Stories were told. Collective laughs were shared. A lot of tears were shed. I only knew a handful of these people personally and some of them I didn’t even really like. But they were dead now and even the people they’d been awful to cried over their deaths. It’s funny how at one point you can be wishing for someone not to exist so that maybe, just maybe, your life could be easier. But you don’t really mean it and even if you do, then you’d never do anything about it. Robert had. Robert had taken it upon himself to get rid of the people were treated other people like dirt. And now everyone who had ever wished that these people weren’t around to torment them were mourning their loss. People were hypocrites.

I grabbed Josh’s hand as she stood beside me. His best friend had been killed, too. He spoke about him and I spoke about Lyla. I even mustered up a “He really liked Lyla” when Todd’s name was called. There wasn’t anything else I could say about him since I wasn’t really fond of the guy. But no one had stepped up to say anything and I knew that me saying something would make Lyla happy. People laid flowers across their caskets, each one closed. Robert’s shotgun had done horrible things and some of them were now terribly disfigured. Another revenge tactic. Now they were as ugly on the outside as on the inside.

I left the hospital a week later. It took a few months after that to get my leg back to strength.

Thursday, June 14th, 2012. 12:12pm. Three guys, seven guns. Fifteen killed. Three gunned down by police forces. One injured. Total time: 53 minutes.