Crash

Fridays almost always dragged at school. Hollie wasn’t sure if it was the fact that it was the end of the week and she wanted nothing more than to go home and enjoy the weekend, or if it was the fact that her last class was English. Her tutoring sessions with Josh had been going well. Their first actual session was interesting to say the least. Perhaps that wasn’t really how the girl had hoped it would be, but her mini-breakdown was necessary for her friendship with Josh. They needed that to break the ice, or so they both told themselves.

It certainly wasn’t just the ice that was broken. After their brief encounter, the weird tension that had made itself known had just... Disappeared. It was nice, they thought, though they hadn’t had another encounter like that since. Not only had the opportunity not arisen, they were both just not that kind of person. They weren’t the types to just dive into a relationship - up until now anyway.

The brunette sat at her desk, taking down notes from the lesson onto her notepad, her long, red fingernails grazing the paper as she wrote. The room was silent but for the general classroom murmur and the sound of pen hitting paper as students’ hands few across pages furiously, the realisation that barely any of them had really prepared for their upcoming exams. Hollie scanned her notes quickly as she dropped her pen and leant back in her seat slightly, breathing deep in relief.

“Finished already, Hollie?” Miss Nicholls spoke, causing the rest of the class to rest their gaze on the girl in question. She simply nodded, feeling all eyes on her. “Very good, I guess these tutoring sessions with Josh are helping you a great deal.” Josh smirked from across the room, his eyes meeting with Hollie’s as she smiled back, a light blush on her cheeks.

“Tutoring? I bet that’s not all they’re doing.” A raucous laughter erupted in the classroom at Jase’s words as Hollie just slumped her head down in embarrassment. Hollie didn’t like Jase Carter. In fact, Hollie didn’t like most of the people in her class and she was happy just to try to ignore them.

Josh, however, wasn’t so keen to let things lie. “Mind your fucking business, Carter.” He spat, standing up quickly and pushing his chair away as Jase did the same and made his way towards Josh, another one of the lads in the class jumping up to separate the two.

“Joshua, mind your language. Jase, outside. Now.” Miss Nicholls spoke harshly as Josh backed down, throwing an apologetic look in both Hollie’s direction and his teacher’s. Jase gathered his things and left the room, bitterness spread on his face and radiating in his body language. Miss Nicholls followed suit, sure to give Jase a verbal warning of some sort as the final bell rang.

The class emptied quickly, Hollie and Josh lingering behind to talk to Miss Nicholls as they had previously promised.

“I’m sorry... For overreacting. I shouldn’t have done what I did, he just angered me; he has no right to make assumptions about you. Or me. Us.” Josh spoke softly as he moved towards Hollie, his heart thumping with both nerves and anger. He sighed, perching himself on the edge of her desk as she stood.

“It’s okay, I’m kinda glad you stood up to him. I would’ve just left it, couldn’t win in a fight against him.” Hollie chuckled, smiling up at Josh as he stood around six inches taller than her.

She took his hand in hers, squeezing it gently as a sign of thanks. He relaxed himself, grinning as he ran his other hand across the soft skin covering her cheekbones and he shot her a look, as if asking for permission. She answered his unasked question as she simultaneously closed her eyes and the gap in between them. Josh’s hands went to the base of her spine, gently stroking her hipbones as he passed them. Pulling her bottom lip into his mouth, he bit down lightly, smiles adorning their faces as their tongues intertwined.

The classroom door closed loudly and the pair parted slowly, not really caring who saw them. They linked their hands and turned to face the front, only to be met with the slightly shocked yet proud look on Miss Nicholls’ features. “Sorry to interrupt you two, I’d forgotten we had arranged to meet this afternoon. We can keep this brief as I’m sure you both have places you’d rather be.”

As the pair joined their teacher at her desk, they discussed how the tutoring sessions were going and how Hollie was making good progress in class. They were together for all of 5 minutes. There wasn’t an awful lot to say. Both Josh and Hollie made it clear that they were happy to carry on with the tutoring sessions, and Miss Nicholls made it clear that she was happy for them to do so.

The pair left the class, making their way towards the front of the school. “That wasn’t too bad, Hol – I thought we were going to be there for an hour, at least!” Josh smiled again, laughing as he made his way towards his car with Hollie by his side.

“Hmmm, could’ve been a much worse end to my day.” She shuffled uncomfortably, Josh knowing exactly what the girl was talking about.

“Oi, forget about him. He’s immature, ignore it. Anything that we do isn’t a concern of his in the slightest.” He spoke, his tone one of reassurance as he leant against his car. “Do you want a lift home?”

Hollie cleared her throat, not wanting to turn down his offer but knowing that there was a more pressing issue she had to get to. “I have somewhere I have to be, actually. I’d like the walk too; perhaps the fresh air will clear my mind.”

Josh nodded, getting into his car as he wound up the conversation. That was one of the things that Hollie had learned about Josh – he understood – no questions asked. “So I’ll pick you up at six tomorrow? Party starts at 9 but you’ll still come early?” He looked hopeful and Hollie agreed, happiness filling her heart at the prospect. They parted, sharing a sweet kiss as they went their separate ways.

---

She knew exactly where she was heading as the iron gate creaked and the gravel crunched beneath her shoes. It was still daylight and there were a few other people around, most of them with solemn looks embedded on their features. Hollie’s face, however, was pretty blank.

No frown on her lips.
No sadness in her eyes.
No pain etched into her skin.
Just nothing.

She didn’t know how she was supposed to feel, how people expected her to feel... She guessed that people would expect her to feel sad, to be really devastated. She wasn’t sure if that’s what she felt or not.

She wasn’t sure if she felt anything at all.

Loved husband to Nicola, treasured father to Hollie, always in our hearts.

‘Treasured father to Hollie.’ That hurt. That really hurt. As her eyes took in those four words on his gravestone, Hollie felt nothing but bitterness. She was wordless as she knelt down beside the freshly-laid flowers. She didn’t even utter a word when a passerby stopped and asked how she was. She sat in silence for a few minutes, tears forming in her eyes before she spoke out, pain now obvious in her voice. “Fuck you, dad. Fuck you.” She pulled herself to her feet, running back down the path and to the iron gate which she pulled open with all her strength as she still sobbed, the tears becoming heavier.

The brunette stopped to catch her breath, composing herself as she shook the truly dreadful memories from her mind. She breathed in and out deeply, reminding herself that it was all over. He was gone. He wouldn’t be able to do it again.

She continued her walk home focussing her thoughts on seeing Josh tomorrow. It was something that she had been looking forward to since he mentioned it a few days ago. Hollie knew she was falling and falling fast at that, but she didn’t mind. She didn’t mind one bit.