Playing With Fire

Bridgette paced back and forth, running her hand through her long hair. Her breathing erratic and she was on the verge of hyperventilating. The only noise echoing through the kitchen was her footsteps, heavy and constant. When had everything in her life become so tangled?

"Okay, what's going on?"

The voice startled Bridgette, and she jumped half a foot. Her hand flew over her heart and she stared wide-eyed at her mom and best friend, who had just entered the house. Her footsteps and heart beating had been so loud, she hadn't even heard the door. She blinked a few times, shaking her head.

"Is there a wedding crisis?" Adele asked slowly, tilting her head and setting her car keys in a dish on the table. Liv slid up onto the counter, her head tilted as she watched Bridgette anxiously.

Bridgette shrugged in reply, holding her other hand in front of her and tilting it up and down in a wish-washy motion. Olivia bit her lip and peered closely at her face, but remained silent.

"So what is it? The caterer? The dresses? The flowers?"

Adele watched her daughter's reactions carefully, and when Bridgette shook her head 'no' to all of them, she crossed her arms over her chest and pursed her lips in thought. Olivia's cheeks flushed and she snapped, her eyes suddenly sharpening.

"I swear, if it's the cake decorator again, I'll go down there myself and kick her ass. We should have just booted her in the first place; she's bitter and jealous because she's alone with her cats and you're beautiful and happy!" Olivia jumped in protectively, her cell phone out as she dialed in a few numbers.

"No, don't upset the poor cake lady! It's not her fault," Bridgette blurted out, and Olivia clicked the off button on her phone. She mirrored Adele's curious expression, and Bridgette looked back down at her feet uncomfortably. They stood like that in silence for a few moments before Adele sat at the counter, holding her hands up in defeat.

"Okay, you've stumped me. What's the issue?"

Bridgette opened her mouth to talk, but no words came out. She could feel her throat tightening and her eyes beginning to water. Adele grabbed her shoulder gently and urged her to sit down beside her. Once she did, she leaned against her mother's shoulder and a frustrated sob escaped her lips.

"James and I got into a fight last night because I acted like a completely crazy ex-girlfriend, and then this morning I went to talk to Reece in an attempt to get my mind off of it all, and James was there, and somehow the whole thing about our past came out."

"Hold up. You mean you never said anything about that to Reece?" Adele interrupted, the shock clear in her voice. Bridgette shook her head and sniffled, avoiding her gaze.

"James and I both agreed that it wasn't important and we could put our differences aside for Reece. We never thought it would be an issue."

"And how did that work out for you?"

"Mom!"

"I'm sorry!"

"Okay, back to the real issue! So, Reece found out, and he's upset?" Olivia asked, tapping her fingers against the counter apprehensively.

"No," Bridgette said, a note of anguish in her voice. "I mean, he was a little at first, but we talked things through, and Reece was completely understanding and forgiving and nice."

"Wow," Olivia breathed out, scratching her head. "That boy is something special."

"I know," Bridgette whispered, fidgeting in her spot.

"Well," Adele said, pausing as her eyebrows knit together. "You've lost me again. If Reece isn't upset, then what's this problem?"

"After Reece and I talked things out, I ran into James, and..." she choked up, and Adele rubbed her back in an attempt to help her finish.

"And what?" she prompted, and Bridgette covered her face and shook her head.

“We almost kissed Mom! I don't even know how it happened, it was like one minute we were talking, and then he almost kissed me, and I almost didn't stop him, and I just don’t know what to do anymore!”

Adele watched her daughter’s distress, her lips a straight line. Olivia tilted her head to the side, and exchanged a look with Adele. Her usually fearless voice was shaky as she asked the question that no one really wanted to know the answer to.

“Do... Do you still love him Bee?”

“No. Maybe... I don’t know!" she exclaimed, her voice thick and so lost.

"But I do know that I love Reece, though. And he’s so much better for me than James ever was. James and I drove each other absolutely mental, and fought constantly! With Reece, he's never given me any reason to doubt him or tried to hurt me. With James, I could never be sure.”

Adele was quiet, and when she finally spoke, her voice was soft. “Sweetie, I know you might not want to hear this, but in life, we don’t get to control what we feel for who or who we love.”

Bridgette shut her eyes and bit her lip, exhausted with everything that had happened and where her life had ended up. When she finally opened her eyes, she watched a spot on the wall, her voice slow and steady.

“It's just, I never thought I’d get over James. He drove me insane and made me feel so happy one minute, then miserable the next. It was a roller coaster, and when I walked away, I thought that I never wanted to be in love again, and I'd just be miserable forever. And then I met Reece...

"He was nice to me, and I smiled again for the first time since I left James. He made me laugh again; he made me happy. Reece pulled me out of the dark and showed me that love doesn't have to be so insane. I was happy, and we were happy together. And now James comes swooping back in, and that’s all it takes for me to turn into a train wreck again!”

Adele bit her lip and held her daughter, trying to calm the tears spewing from her eyes. Olivia watched helplessly, jumping from the counter and starting up the tea kettle in an attempt to be of some use. Hours seemed to pass before Bridgette finally gained enough control to keep talking and pull away from her mom. She looked up at the ceiling, the mascara running down her pale cheeks.

"Reece picked up the pieces of my heart and put them all back together," she said, her voice suddenly level. "He has never hurt me, and I've done my best to try to repay him for everything he's done for me. From the moment I saw that James was the one he wanted to be the best man, I tried to set aside all of my grudges and bury all the ill-will in an attempt to make Reece happy and to not hurt him with all of my baggage. But the minute I did, I started hurting him, and now I just can't seem to stop."

"Sweetie, I can see this is killing you," Adele murmured, pushing Bridgette's curls behind her ears. "And I know you want me to tell you everything will just magically get better, but it won't without some work. You have to start being honest, to Reece and yourself. I know you can get through this, and whatever happens, I'm going to support you. I love you, baby girl."

"I love you too," she murmured, closing her eyes.

"Same goes for me, Bridge. I've got your back always," Olivia piped up, pulling three mugs from the cabinets.

Bridgette leaned her forehead against her mom's shoulder, completely defeated, her stomach doing flips and her brain and heart battling it out inside of her. She was exhausted, mentally and physically.

"I don't know what to do," she admitted in a small voice. The other two smiled sympathetically, doing their best to keep it together.

"You'll figure it out," Olivia reassured her. Bridgette thanked her quietly and accepted the steaming mug she pushed in her direction.

"I really hope you're right Liv."