Accidental Penpal

Dear York,

I'm sorry.

It wasn't right for me to yell at you.

I was terribly wrong to throw everything at you and call you out to be someone that wouldn't get me. That was wrong. I was terribly wrong.

You want the truth?
Alright... I'll tell you...

The truth is, ever since high school, I've been struggling with thoughts of suicide and depression. Those scars were from the times that I tried to slit my wrists. Moly found out and I went to the emergency room for a few days till I was told by the doctors that I was alright. But I never was. From then on, I always lied to my family and friends about me being okay. I never wanted them to worry, and I was starting to feel better since my family started to finally feel like a family. It was like it needed to happen for us to finally understand each other. But it was a fake sense of security.

After a while, my family went back to the way they were before. Every time I said I was alright, eventually told them that they could go back to nagging and demanding my attention to help my parents dreams. Those thoughts eventually came back, but every time I started to plan my own death, something came up. Molly getting an abortion. Bret getting out of jail. Writing these letters to you.

I know that I blew my chances with you, and you would probably just throw this letter away, most likely with the others I already sent you. Though I need to write this letter because... I don't want to lose you. I don't want to lose the only person that I was able to laugh with, even if it was just a written word, and feel as if there is hope in this world.

I'm sorry.

From the depths of my aching heart, I'm sorry!

I miss you and I want you to come home and meet you face to face!

I don't want to be alone...

-Kendal