Accidental Penpal

Tiger striped jeggings adorned with a black biker jacket and a Batman sweatshirt underneath, Kendal was wearing her favorite outfit. She placed her shoulder length hair up into a messy pony tail and let the shorter strands droop down in her face. Kendal gave a slight smile in the mirror admiring her makeup job, but her smile eventually turned back into an exhausted frown. She had the day off from work today. Mrs. Derby insisted that she take the rest of the week off saying that she “deserved it” for all her hard work.

Kendal never wanted a day off. Work took her away from the reality of things.

She walked out of the small bathroom and turned a sharp right down the hallway to the living room and kitchen space. The apartment was big enough for her, though it was so lonely. She thought about getting a cat before, but her land lord already said no pets. Kendal went to find an umbrella in the front closet as the phone started to ring.

“You've reached Kendal Cline. I'm not here at the moment, but if you leave your name and number I'll get back to you soon,” Kendal always hated the way her voice sounded on the answering machine.

“Kendal, answer the phone,” Moly sounded serious, “I know you are there, Kendal. Answer the phone.”

Kendal knelt down and pulled on her blue Vans by the front door.

“Kendal, please! What was with that strange call last night! Please, pick up the phone!”

Kendal felt her butt realizing that she left her wallet in her pants. It was a force of habit since her purse broke the other month. She needed to get a new one eventually, but always forgot to get one. She walked back through the apartment to her bedroom across from the bathroom.

“Alright, fine! Ignore me, Kendal! I'm coming over there now, you better not go anywhere!”

The answering machine clicked off and Kendal placed her wallet on her desk. She looked up to see a small bottle of sand. Holy wasn't on her stand which was next to the desk, Kendal placed the guitar in her case and was resting on her well-enough made bed. When did she begin to hate playing music? She always loved to strum at a guitar when on a cloudy gray day like today. Now she just wanted to see it gone. She glanced over to her desk where she left her tray of unfinished necklaces and rings. She was glad to at least finish one of those.

Kendal then left her room and her apartment without another word. Her phone rang just as she closed the door.

“Miss Kendal, Miss Kendal!” a little voice called as she locked her door.

A small girl with a tight bun on her head ran up to her with a toothy smile.

“Hi, Sammie,” Kendal smiled squatting down to the girl, “is your mom taking you to the recital now?”

“Yep! I wish that you could come and see it. We're going to be on a big stage tonight!”

“I have some things to do, sweetie, I'm sorry. You go and have fun,” Kendal patted her head.

Sammie's single mom called down the hallway for her little daughter and Sammie pouted some more.

“Alright... if you say so.”

The little girl gave Kendal a hug and ran off waving good bye. Kendal's smile turned back to a frown and she left towards the stairs. She was on the second floor of the three story apartment building, so she didn't mind walking. As she stepped outside the sky started to turn gray, she was glad that she brought an umbrella.

The tulips that were planted to mark the start of spring were well wilted away. The weather was starting to get colder, but she wanted to get out for a walk while the red leaves were still on the trees. Kendal swung around the ugly black umbrella in her hand as she walked down the sidewalk to the park. She said hi to a few other neighbors who were pulling into the parking lot next to the building and continued on.

The walking postman on his rout turned down the small path up to the front door. She didn't bother to go back and get her mail. He wasn't going to send a letter. It has been two months since the last one. She blew it. She completely and utterly blew it. Kendal shook her head ignoring the thought and picked up her slow feet and walked faster away from the building.

Her neighborhood wasn't that nice of a town. The people were nice enough, but the quality of the buildings were just old. There was a bar celebrating forty years of service at the end of the block and her favorite Chinese food store that had been there longer than the bar. Kendal waved to the undercover cop across the street and walked down the next block to the stoplight. She pressed the cross walk button and waited. Some nice car turned on their street probably following a GPS. Lots of people wandered down these back ways of the city to get to the clubs on the other side of town so she didn't mind much.

The light changed into the white walking man and Kendal walked on eventually entering the park. It was unfortunate that the park was the only nice thing in the area. Luckily there was no one really there today. It was going to rain soon. She walked on down the main path and saw some old men walking towards her with fishing poles. The bridge was the best place to fish on the river edge. Even the rich kids from the other side of town come over and fish here. Though it wasn't summer anymore, and the gray skies were looking darker.

The men passed Kendal and she walked over to her favorite spot. She sat down and looked out over the water that sat in front of her. The buildings across the river had a bunch of lights on in the gray weather, but on this side it only made the red leaves more vivid. She closed her eyes for a few moments listening to the wind and just thinking. The bench was too hard so she stood up and crawled up on the cement railing of the bridge and rested her back on the fancy light pole.

More lights flicked on.

“Why can't I have a successful job like them?” Kendal asked aloud even though no one was there.

She was useless.
She was always useless.
She was always useless and alone.
She was always alone...

All the things she loved seemed useless now. Everything that seemed to give her joy was gone. She remembered again how she blew it with York. She never even had to see his face to blow her chances with a great guy like him. He was just another number to her list of blown chances. Stray tears fell down her face as she placed her face into her hands.

She was sick of the list.
Sick of trying.
Sick of living...

Just sick of it all...

Sick...