Love and Other Lies

~Anna Marie

I woke up wedged in between the wall and the bed, it's not that odd for me to wake-up like that but it was odd for me to wake-up first. I got up, grabbing my black skinny jeans and yellow baggy shirt with a smiley face on it. I headed towards the upstairs bathroom, I stepped in for my shower. The warm water felt so amazing against my sore aching muscles. It just made me think of yesterday. I blinked away the tears and scrubbed away the dirty feeling. Once I was sure there was nothing to remind me of him I stepped out. I dressed and went to the mirror, It's been a while since I put make-up on. I took my time, I knew no one was gonna wake-up for the next hour or so. I did the basic foundation and stuff, looking at my outfit I decided to just brighten my eye and call it good. I finished up and put everything away. No one was up yet so I made my way to the kitchen. I made sure to keep quiet going down the stairs because the living room was at the bottom of the stairs. I quietly squeaked my way into the kitchen starting to make breakfast. I think french toast, sausage, scrambled eggs and fresh squeezed orange juice would be fun to make. I put in my earphones and danced my way through breakfast. I didn't even notice the crowd, I was gonna call them all down for breakfast when I was done cooking, but I guess everyone woke up to the sound of sizzling. They were all sitting in the living room watching me. It's a small house, so everything is connected downstairs, I turned around to set the cooked sausage down on the counter, I had everything ready and was about to call out for them but one glance up told me that they already knew breakfast was ready. I just smiled back at them sheepishly. They sat at the table that was just off of the kitchen, I set the food down and they dug in.

"This is great!" Shannon smiled at me.

"I hope you enjoy it, I woke up a little early so I made you guys some breakfast." I said taking a link of sausage and munching on it.

"So good" Jessie purred.

"You better get used to it to, you are gonna be staying with us" I told him. I hadn't talked this over with Dimitri but I knew he would be stoked. He visibly brightened and looked like a kid that was told he got an extra toy during Christmas.

"Really?" They said in unison.

"Yea, I feel like all you have seen is my bad side, so.... this is my way to say 'i'm not a horrid bitch'" I smiled. The boys jumped up and hugged me. They chatted like little girls. Boys. I looked around the table and shook my head. We are missing someone. "Where is Zach?" I asked.

"OH! He's in the tent!" Shannon said, red at forgetting about her son.

"I'll take him a plate" I smiled, grabbing a whole bunch of food and a big glass of orange juice. I took it to the tent and kicked the side. I heard a groan and then unzipping.

"UGH" He complained, shielding his eyes from the sun.

"Morning, I brought food" I said waving the plate in front of his face. He instantly woke up and grabbed the plate, retreating into his tent. I followed, sitting criss cross applesauce on the sleeping bag. I handed him his drink which he gulped down. I just shook my head at him. After about a minute of just the sounds of him eating he looked up, it almost looked as if he was startled I was still there.

"Thank you" He said, blushing from his rudeness. It didn't bother me though. I waited till he was done eating and took his plate. I started to get up but he grabbed my arm. I looked at him confused, but set the plate down beside me.

"What?" I questioned softly.

"What happened? Dimitri told me the basics, but.. what happened?" He asked. His brown eyes gentle. My stomach lurched. I looked down.

"Zach, this isn't something I want to talk about. Let's just say I have a past, I can handle this ok?" I said, looking him straight in the eyes.

"Are you sure? I'm here if you need to talk or anything, you know that right?" He said, giving me the same look I was giving him.

"I'm sure. Thank you Zach" I smiled getting up and grabbing his dishes, I heard the tent zip back up and I took a deep breath. I didn't know he was behind me because I felt his arm go around my shoulders and we walked back into the house. Everyone was done eating and Shannon was doing the dishes. Mariah turned to me.

"The boys are packing up, we are gonna leave soon" She told me heading up stairs to pack her things. Zach took the dishes from me and headed to the sink. I went up and started packing. There wasn't much to pack but I had some time. I decided to write Zach a letter.

Dear Zach,

So, this is my past. I don't know why but I didn't tell you to your face because I didn't want to see the look on your face. This way is easier for me. A little more cowardly but... easier.

When I was younger my father molested me. Everyone in Pendleton knows, but the act like they don't. He's gone. He moved out when I was 7. I pushed everyone away. I didn't have a boyfriend until Dimitri. He saved me..... in more way than one. I was almost raped again by a guy named Nolan. Dimitri found us before it actually happened. He beat Nolan up and took me home. Nolan then kidnapped me and took me to Minnesota... to my father's house. They figured it out pretty fast, don't worry you don't have to kick ass, Nolan is dead. It's one of the only things my father has ever done for me. I tried to kill myself, but Dimitri found me again. My mother told me that I had to stay, for him. While I was in New York waiting for Dimitri I mentioned his name to a lady, she freaked out and told me to go to the police. I did, sometimes I wish I hadn't, I wish I had stayed ignorant. But at the same time, i'm so happy I didn't, how would I know who he was. But here's the thing. I'm not my past, but my past is me. I can't change the past, I can't change who I was in the past, but I can change me now and who i'm going to be. I got back to Oregon and went into the hotel. I thought 'finally, I can be alone. I don't have to worry about anything... I don't know what made him come to my room but a man showed up at my door. I let him in and he raped me. Dimitri found me..... again. He is the one that is there for me when all I want to do is die. This is why the wedding will go on. This is why I love him and this is why I am telling you this. You are like a brother to me, I know that you will be there when I need you to be. Thank you.

Love ya like a sister,

Anna Marie

I left the note on his bedside table and grabbed my bags. I took them downstairs where Dimitri took them to the car. I hugged everyone goodbye and headed towards the car. Chelise was standing by the car smiling at me. I hugged her and got in the car. I waved until I couldn't see them anymore. About thirty minutes after we left I got a text from Zach. It was simple, but it made my heart warm.

Thank you, love you too sis

I smiled the rest of the way home, we pulled up in front of the house and all I could think is 'i'm home' I don't know how much more of a sign I needed to let me know i'm where I need to be. I got out and Dimitri wrapped his arms around my waist from behind, we were both just staring at the house.

"We're home" I said, breaking the silence.

"Yes, and I couldn't be any happier" He smiled, kissing the top of my head and releasing me, leaving me there to think.