Tiptoe Through the Tulips

The weeks passed slowly, no word from the Governor, no sign of him. The group, so at ease when I had finally returned was beginning to show strain. There were whispers that echoed down the damp stone hallways, mutters of leadership, of action we should take.

“You’re starting to show quite a bit now”, I mused, scrubbing at a shirt, my eyes on Lori’s swollen stomach highlighted more by the hollowness of her cheeks, the way you could see the ribs on her chest. I paused uncomfortably, “How...how far along do you reckon you are?” She sucked in one thin cheeks, eyes darting around the empty cell.
Her voice rasped slightly, cheeks flushing, “Must be about five months, judging from how I was with Carl.”

Defiantly Shanes.

It was practically a confession, and it hung in the air between us, my hands barely gripping the shirt I was washing, hardly aware of the warm water swirling around them. I cleared my throat loudly, forcing the conversation forward,

“Where did you say they had gone?” The colour slowly filled her cheeks and I saw her tongue dart out and over her lips, moistening the cracked surface.

“Daryl’s taken Glenn and a couple of the prison boys hunting. Maggie, Andrea, T-dog and Rick are doing another perimeter search.” I nodded, my own tongue mimicking hers, the sweater on my arms not thick enough to stop the goose bumps erupting.

It was almost November, the nights were cold, the days growing in much the same way. Being in this prison definitely didn’t help. I plunged my hands back into the water after I had hung the shirt next to me, relishing the warmth that cascaded my hands. Rick and Daryl had gone back to the farm, it was a waste of fuel I thought but they managed to return with food,clothes and more importantly Hershel’s gun bag.

We had decided not to go back however, it was tarnished, it was no longer the safe place we had forced ourselves to believe.
There were too many memories there now.

My stomach growled suddenly, food had grown scarce, we were forced to hunt more. Fuel was precious and we had little left.
The prison was living up to its true purpose, it was trapping us, keeping us in.

“Hey sweetheart,” Lori’s weary voice called, offering a tired smile to an awkward looking Beth who nodded, offering me a light wave. “Is there anything I can do to help? I finished sorting out the cans with Carol.” I nodded, shuffling further up the bed and allowing her to sit between us,

“You wanna take over the scrubbing so I can lay the clothes out over the bench?” she nodded and dipped her small hands in, giving a slight noise of relief at the warmth.

“We need to move to a smaller area,” Loki complained, “This cold is ridiculous, we’re all going to end up with hypothermia if we aren’t careful.” I agreed, laying the clothes out as flat as possible used to her constant complaining by now.

But then, if I was in her situation, hormonal enough and having to face the thought of bringing a child into this fucked up world I would probably be far worse.

The mutters were constant, growing steadily over our time here. Rick’s face grew greyer as the volume increased. We either needed to find a better source of food or move. We had protection here, shelter and water. But the shelter was cold, uncomfortable; we weren’t close to any safe towns, too close to where we had run from and too close to the Governor.

We needed to move, there was no other way around it, Lori could not have a baby here, and before the winter was out we’d be frozen.
I made a mental note to talk to Daryl, he had definitely become Rick’s right hand man and I assume he would tell him his worries, Daryl was the ‘survival’ guy here, he knew a lot more than the rest of us.

I saw on the small bed we shared, the washing was done and Lori had gone to lay down, rejecting Hershel’s offer of his blanket. They had gone hunting yesterday afternoon and still hadn’t returned and in all honesty, I was bored.
The Governors' threat was empty, we had heard nothing from him and Daryl refused to let me leave the Prison. Since I had returned he had grown extremely overprotective, he blamed himself no matter what I said, however much I tried to convince it.

It hurt me, to watch him, hate himself.

I pulled myself back to the present, smiling as the thin stew simmered in the pot, “Smells nice.” I commented gently, making my way behind Daryl and resting my arms on his shoulders. “You spoken to Rick lately?” I lowered my voice, moving my mouth close to my ear, “You know what people are saying.”
“And you’re beginnin’ to agree?” I nodded and he turned to face me.

“I think I am too.”

____________________

The sky was beginning to dull, clouds covering up the sun and leaving behind a thin layer of mist that settled on the hills around us. For once I was warm, my head of Daryl’s chest, one arm up by his head and the other resting on his stomach.

“I’m hungry again,” I muttered, my head jerking as he chuckled, “Don’t tease me Dixon.” He mocked offense, raising his free hand into the air as a fake act of surrender.

“You’ll get fat” he teased, prodding my exposed upper body and causing me to squeak.

“A chance would be nice” I returned, moving so I was looking up at him.

“You really shouldn’t lean there Barbie” I frowned slightly, understanding him meaning when I felt a certain area of him growing hard.

“Why not?” I said, pouting and sliding up him slightly, smirking as he whined slightly.

“No.” He demanded, pushing me lightly off him, “I am not goin’ back to Glenn again and askin’ for another condom. Feels like I’m at school or summin.’” I snorted.

“You think Glenn’s judging you?” he shook his head, playfully glaring at me.

“I think Glenn’s the only one here with any damn condoms and since your implant thing has ran out, that’s what we need.” I rolled my eyes at him, he did have a point, asking Glenn or Maggie felt a bit creepy and I was well aware how quickly the amount of condoms was lowering.

Eww.

“We don’t necessarily have to have sex again...” I started moving further down the bed but paused as a thought his me, “Actually, thinking about it, I pretty much know whenever them two are doing it...”

“Why?” Daryl asked, brow furrowed, irritated I was going off on a tangent.

“Oh, you can totally tell, anyway... judging by how often we do which obviously is less now and them, and the fact Glenn managed to grab like four boxes of condoms... There are a lot being used, which means, someone else is doing it.”

“So?” he looked unimpressed, laying fully down on the bed, arms raised about his head as he watched me ramble, “But who? I wanna know!”

“Why does it matter'? I don’t give a fuck who does it as long as it don’t stop us.”

“Charming.” I joked, running all the options through my mind, “Maybe it’s Andrea and Tyreese, I mean, I hinted but...”

“Seriously babe, I’m tired, I don’t care. I don’t get why ya' would.”

“I need gossip or something to keep me going” I declared, “It’s not exactly Disneyland in here. I bet its Andrea...” he lifted slightly, hand resting gently over my mouth and pulling my body down to his.

“Fuckin' women” he sighed, making himself comfortable, I lay still but he guessed my wants, “You gunna go ask Maggie righ’?”

I nodded grinning and he rolled his eyes, letting me up and watching as I slid my clothes back on. “This is the most excitement I’ve had in ages.”

“The apocalypse not quite good enough’ for ya then?” I smiled up at him, kissing him lightly and waving as I left the room, eager to find Maggie and gossip for a while, to get my mind off of here.

________

“Maggie say much?” I nodded my head frowning, “Shame.” he said sarcastically, moving up slightly on the benches we had dragged from the cafeteria to the large wardens office and offering me a seat. Various people were scattered across the room, Hershel sat with Beth, both talking in low voices, his eyes aimed warily at the former prisoners.

Rick sat close to Daryl. Clint, Tyler, T-dog and Tyreese stood around, no-one mentioned Richard. He had gotten drunk one night, had threatened Carol who had been flirting with him. Rick had ended up killing him in a bare fistfight and that was it.

No-one really mourned, no-one apart from Clint and Tyler knew him well and even they seemed uncaring.

It was unnerving.

“We got fuel but it needs to be kept for emergencies,” Rick was arguing, voice low, “We can’t go exploring with it unless it’s desperate.”

“But there is nowhere close to here that isn’t run by psychopaths, we need food Rick. We cant rely on hunting when it gets to winter.” Tyreese countered, mouthing as sorry as Rick hissed at him to lower his voice, aiming his gaze at Beth.
“We have a map, we have a plan if we need to move, but until then we are the safest we have been in a while staying here.”

“Not really a good plan if only a few people know of it,” I snapped, irritated by the familiar argument, “We can’t stay here Rick, there’s not enough food, it’s too cold and damp. Lori can’t...” I trailed off, but he paled as he caught my meaning.

There is no way Lori could give birth here and survive it.
No way a newborn could survive here in the winter. I tried to stutter my apologies but Rick shook me off, standing and storming from the room.

“You have a point,” Tyler sighed, pushing his damaged glasses further up his nose, “This place is well protected but it keeps us in as well as them out.” Everyone made various signs of agreement.

“This ain’t something just us needs to talk bout, like Ariella said, this has to be a group decision, no dictatorship.” I smiled at him, he was definitely taking over the role of peacekeeper, I think everything with Dale had really had an effect on him.

I could see him changing as the days went on, the amount he had changed since he had met me was astonishing. I was proud. “We can sort something out tomorrow,” T-dog concluded, "With the way the weather is no-one’s gunna be going out.” again we all agreed, the rain increasing, thundering over our heads as a reminder that nature didn’t care about humanity.

“Tomorrow.” Daryl said, taking my hand and leading me back to the cell. The more public affection was another change I definitely liked.

“What exactly is the plan then?”

“There ain’t, Ricks outlined a bunch of small towns and stuff heading back down south but we don’t know nothin’ bout them so we have no idea how safe they are.”

“Wouldn’t we be best looking for somewhere smaller? A village not too far from a town, somewhere close to cattle or something?”

“If only it were that easy.”

__________________________________

It was drawing close to midnight, the simple plastic clocked ticked loudly as the hands moved, batteries seemed to be the only thing we had in large numbers left.

The rain continued to hammer down and I found myself watching the trails it made down the small barred window, the cold as always creeping through any small gap. I felt nervous, today’s talks, with Lori, Rick, Daryl.

I don’t know how long I could do this.

I growled, turning myself over so Daryls’ chest rested against my back, his arm instinctively flinging over my waist. I couldn’t lay here and claim my own doubts hadn’t risen up among the mutters, hadn’t become like some poisonous leech, ruining moments for me.
And here I was again being negative, weak.

The mist on the window lit up suddenly, a rainbow of colours spreading. For a second I was taken in my how beautiful it looked. Until I realised.

“Daryl, there’s cars outside.” he awoke instantly, his mind alert, he sprang up, grabbing a shotgun that lay against the wall and handing me a pistol.

“We ent got many weapons left, I’m gunna get Rick, wake everyone else up. Stay inside though!” he stared at me intensively until I agreed, quickly pulling on the jumper, hoodie and boots that had once been Beths’ and slipping the gun into the tracksuit bottoms before I ran to the next cell, waking Glenn and Maggie.

This continued until the whole group was awake, I had lost Daryl, he and a few others had gone to sneak outside without being seen, to see what we were up against but I knew it was obvious.

The Governor had finally returned.

The next few minutes became a blur, running, shouting. There were a mass of people outside and I was instantly brought back to before, at that strange town. I froze, I could hear shooting, screaming, someone dragging me. Someone pulling me back.

I didn’t reach back into reality until I felt myself slammed into the side of a car, Michonne holding my arm, “Get up now.” she said lowly, I complied, turning slowly and glancing over the bonnet.

It was chaos, I couldn’t see anyone properly, there were men, women. The shooting was random, erratic, the screams weren’t.

Michonne nodded at me and we went, me following and wincing whenever I shot, her machete’s cutting through the air almost gracefully. Eventually we found Maggie and Glenn, both bleeding, we began to run to the car, the rain soaking me to the skin, the ground turning to sticky mud when everything went quiet.

A voice rose about the others, a megaphone. It was him.

“You had your time, you had your warnings, and still you stayed. The proud people of Woodbury are survivors and monsters like you shall not be trusted or allowed to plague this world any further. You will die here. Let me be a hint, a message!” he turned and I felt the scream tear my throat as two of the men dragged Tyreese forward, his knees dragging along the ground, blood soaking his face. I looked frantically around, my pistol was empty.

Someone had to help him, someone had to save him, not now. Not after everything. I saw Andrea, her face paled significantly, her arms being held back by Daryl.

I had been right then, about those two.
I almost wish I had never known, then maybe I could pass off the heartbreak on her face as anger.

The governors words blurred, this was so similar, so similar to the way he had killed the guard that helped us. I heard a struggle, Tyreese trying to escape but my eyes were clenched shut, my stomach turning.
The shot fired and within seconds the chaos erupted again, Maggie was dragging me away, back to the prison. We didn’t make it. Clint ran in front of us, his blood splattering over us as the axe embedded in his skull.

We had lost Glenn and Michonne, our arms clinging to each other, fingers like claws. “This is you!” a familiar voice screeched, “Everything has happened since you!” We spun meeting the face of Carol, a large cut causing blood to gash down her face, “You destroyed everything!” even with the level of noise her voice was my main focus, the demented look in her wide eyes. From a woman I had once cared for so much, had respected, one who had assured me she blamed me in no way.

“He came for you, he should have you!” She went to attack but was halted when a woman from Woodbury blocked her, beginning to beat her with her bare hands.

My scream caught in my throat, my shout for help, Maggie’s eyes open with horror, her fingers slipping against mine as she tried to pull away.

“We can’t.” she kept repeating, as we ran. A blow from the right struck her shoulder, sending her and myself flat onto the ground. This time I did scream, missing his mallet as he struck it against the ground and scrambling up to Maggie.

He bent down, Maggie suddenly leaping, her fists pummeling his face desperately and mine following after, hit after hit, my hands pushing into his throat until he fell, un-moving.

I just killed someone with my bare hands.

“Ariella!” A voice grew louder, Daryl pulling us up, quickly turning and shooting a woman in the head, her blood splattering my boots as she fell. I felt numb again, we ran again but everyone was in slow motion, I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t concentrate.

“Lori!” The scream left me before I could register and by then it was too late, the bullet hit her, forced its way into her throat and out the back of her neck.

And she fell, so slowly, so gracefully, her hair taking seconds to settle on the dirt around her. I was at her side before I knew it, the young woman with the gun looked breathless, unbelieving.

She looked how I felt, my dirty hands scrambled over Lori’s face, her chest. Pushing down pathetically on the pumping hole. The young woman turned, running to the car where the Governor stood, Daryl clinging to Maggie as she tried to reach her, face red, veins popping.

“Get in the truck now,” I heard Daryl growl, another set of arms wrenching me back,
“The baby!” I sobbed, “The baby!” my vision grew blurry, the air ripped from my lungs.

The last thing I heard before the world turned black was Rick’s agonised scream.