Tiptoe Through the Tulips

“There’s a light on.” I sat upright, wincing as my head spun, “I can see a light.” Glenn urged again, Daryl already standing and slipping his boots on.

“Where ‘bouts?”

“Down the other street, there look.” He leant forward, Daryl ripping the curtain aside and staring,

“Well if they know we’re here they haven’t approached us. It might just be a couple of people who lived here.”

“Well, we need to check it out. Ya coming?” Glenn nodded and I seconded it, slipping a couple of pistols and a knife in my large pockets, “You okay here Andrea?” she nodded, pulling herself up and stretching, protruding hip bones visible.

“Just be careful.” Daryl had already stalked out the door, a crisp and cold breeze pushing through after him and causing me to shiver as I pulled a jacket over my shoulders. “How are we going in?” I asked, breathe visible as I spoke, the moon high in the cloudless sky.

“Weapons ready but we should give them a chance.” Glenn said quickly, glancing between Daryl and myself who frowned. “We’re not the kind of people that don’t give chances.” Glenn declared, hand clutching a sharpened pole tightly.

“Not yet.” I muttered to myself, aware of his eyes landing on me, my own focused up at the window. “So are we knocking or....”

“Jesus, where do ya think ya ‘are.” Daryl teased, that half smirk spread across his face as he tried the handle, it was locked of course so I pulled my knife out, sliding it down the gap and stepping back as there was a click and the door slid open. The light flickered off immediately and I frowned as we stepped in, Daryl quickly jamming a torch in his mouth as we moved around, his crossbow in his arms.

The house looked... normal, it was clean, tidy, toys littered the front room floor. Wood covered half of the windows, floral curtains pulled over it, there was a creak from upstairs and a muffled cry that instantly caught my attention. I stepped past Daryl, ignoring his hiss to stop and quickly tiptoed up the stairs, gun in hand.

The bathroom door was open and movement was coming from what must be the master bedroom, I felt Glenn come up quickly behind me, turning so I met his eye and grabbing the door handle as he nodded. My breath as always hitched in my throat.

We didn’t know what we were going to find.
We never did.

“Please.” I heard a weak voice and pushed the door open properly, my eyes taking a seconds to adjust to the weak light, “We’re not going to hurt you,” I assured immediately, eyes widening as I took in the scene in front of me.

The cry had resonated from a baby, could only be a month old. Glenn’s face looked much the same way as mine and instantly Lori flashed in the room, the shot ripping through her ripped through my heart and I felt tears spring up as I tried to gain control of myself. Luckily Daryl arrived, muttering to himself and then finally addressing the young woman sat upright, pale on the bed in front of us.

“You alrigh’?” she nodded, eyes wide, “We ain’t gunna hurt ya’ idiot.” Daryl said, stepping past me into the room as I looked around, there was no crib but a baby lay across her lap, eyes wide, hands clenched into tiny chubby fists.

“Are you alone?” I asked, and again she nodded silently, her eyes shimmering as I re-lit the lantern across the room, frowning as Daryl who seemed to be addressing if she was a threat.

“Sorry, I’m Ariella, this is Glenn and Daryl.” She opened and closed her mouth a couple of times before she replied in a weak voice,

“I’m Sophie,” I smiled, moving closer to her and tilting my head at Daryl, indicating they should leave the room, he touched Glenn’s arm and they both left, “We’ll be downstairs.”

“How old is...” I trailed off,

“She, she’s just over two weeks,” I nodded but was surprised.

“She looks healthy. Where the father?” Sophie shrugged, and her eyes flooded with tears, causing me to internally scold myself.

“We’re looking for somewhere safe, we were further south with a bigger group but we ran into a lot of trouble, how long have you been here?”

“This was my parents house, I came back from college for the holidays, I...I met them but Dad got it quickly and....”

“I’m sorry” I said, resting my hand on her thin arm, frowning at how hot she was. “Are you ill?” she nodded, her small teeth chewing her lip.

“I’ve got an infection, I’ve been using antibiotics and whatever I could find but...”

“We have medicine, you are more than welcome to come with us, there’s only a few of us now but we have stuff like ibuprofen, we have food and you cannot stay here by yourself she needs formula, and you need to get well.” She shook her head.

“There isn’t a point. I don’t even know why I’m bothering now, she cannot grow up in this, she can’t. She’ll die” I shook my head.

“Don’t think like that.”

“What, logically? I’m getting sicker by the day, I’ve ran out of medicine, and I’m scared to even go too near her in case I infect her.”

“Just come with us.”

“Don’t tell me what to do!” she screeched, face red, tears dripping down her face, “You don’t know me!”

“I’m trying to help you” I snapped, feeling my anger rising, “I am not letting you both die because of your own stupidity.”

She broke down in tears, arms almost falling on the baby, I lifted her quickly, ignoring the lump that rose in my throat as I held her to my chest, her eyes staring intently at my face. I ignored the burning sensation that hit me as I realised what Lori could have had, what with the world in the state it was I would probably never be able to have.

I sat back down on the bed, the small fingers had attached round my pinky and I felt a wave of maternal instincts flood me, and understanding as I looked at Sophie again.

“You were raped weren’t you?” She took a few minutes to respond but she nodded, her hand clasping my arm making my stomach churn.

You could tell, she couldn’t bring herself to love the child, she was uneasy with my touch, she was broken.

In many ways I understood and I told her that, told her about my father. Her head lifted, eyes meeting mine as I spoke and she took a deep shaking breath, “They always come through here, they travel but here is quiet, this is where they stop off. They’ll kill you if they find you.”

“Who?”

“There’s a group of guys, one of them was the one who... he used to live down the street, he did it before the outbreak... but he kept coming back, passing me round like I was a present.” She sniffed, and I felt sick.

“They come every couple of weeks, they’re animals. I mean, there’s a couple that are better, they brought me the formula I used and stuff but they’re scared. They stick with the group because of how deadly they are. You need to leave.”

“Come with us.” She shook her head.

“I can’t. I just...”

“Please don’t give up.”

“Too late.” She let out a bitter chuckle, “I’m dying anyway, I can tell, that guy you were with could, I saw the look he gave me.” She took a deep breath, “Take her.” I opened my mouth to argue to try to persuade her but the look in her eyes reminded me of Beth before.

But this wasn’t Beth, she wasn’t so young, wasn’t surrounded still by family, she couldn’t be pulled from the darkness she was in.
I nodded eventually, and she smiled lightly, “Thank you,” my mouth was dry and I stood, watching as she lay back in the bed, “In the cupboard there’s some stuff, but it’s nearly all gone.” Again I nodded mutely, my mind was screaming at me to try and persuade her to save her.
But I was tired, and deep down I knew it would be useless.

I grabbed a bag from the side and held the baby to one side, filling the bag.
“What’s her name?” I asked finally, as I turned the light off and headed towards the door.

“I never named her. I couldn’t.”

I understood, “I’ll look after her, I promise.”

“I know.”

The door clicked behind me and I felt the tears silently dripping down my cheeks, arms I instantly knew as Glenn’s lightly wrapping around me, “She won’t come,” I sobbed, guilt striking me with each breath.

“You can’t make her. We can’t save everyone,” he said in a strange voice, “Daryl’s downstairs, should we take stuff or?...”

I nodded against his chest and he let go, pulling the bag from my arm and looking down at the baby, eyes beginning to droop, “How the hell are we going to look after a baby?” I shrugged.

“The same way we would have helped Lori.”

The name was another stab in the heart. He looked almost as worried as I felt, and I could see his eyes flickering behind me at the door, “We should get some stuff and leave then” I agreed,

“We need to leave here.” He furrowed his brow, “She said that this is like a stop off point for a group of men... bad men.” I met his eyes, rimmed with red.

“We can’t leave until the morning. But if they’re in this area we could run into them anyway, we can’t risk heading further north. Maybe we should try the coast.”

We reached the last step; Daryl was a step ahead of us, already filling a canvas bag he must have found. He sighed when he saw the baby in my arms, but he offered me a small smile that I returned.
“She gotta name?” I shook my head, “Sophia.” He said shortly, turning around and trying to disguise the hand he rubbed across his eyes.

“Okay, Sophia.” I glanced down at her, even asleep her hand clenched my finger tightly, “This is gunna make everything a lot more difficult.”

“Well,” he said, flinging the bag over his shoulder and leaving the house, shooting another look up the stairs, “Not like shit was difficult in the first place...”

__________________________________________

“She looks like a Sophia, “ Beth offered out gently, her eyes more alive than they had been since the prison, “Has she got many clothes?” I shook my head.

“We’ll have to deal with some make-shift ones for now, until we find somewhere.”

“I’d much rather we left now than tomorrow, “Andrea added, boots already on her feet as she surveyed us, “I know we can’t,” She defended as Daryl went to open his mouth, “But if that Sophie girl says they come here often, I don’t wanna risk it.”

I agreed but kept my mouth shut, Daryl would have been right of course, driving in the dark would be pointless, we would either have to keep the lights off and drive ridiculously slow or have them and no-doubt attract walkers.

“I can’t believe you just left her,” Maggie breathed out into the silence a couple of minutes later.

“There must be some way to convince her.” I shrugged; the guilt still in my system, “I wanna go talk to her.” She concluded, “Leaving her here to die is harsh.”

“She don’t want saving. She’s gunna die anyway she’s ill.” Daryl stated simply.

“That is no excuse, we could at least bring her here for company for her, she’s been alone for gods knows how long. No-one should be alone like that.” She ended, breathing heavy and face flushed.

“Give it a shot then. See how you fare, but don’t forget if she dies here she turns.” I said slowly, keeping my eyes on the baby in Beth’s arm, “We can’t risk it. We can’t lose any more people Mags.”

She sighed deeply but rested back against Glenn’s arm, it was still dark, the time still somehow showing on a clock on the mantelpiece read four am but no-one would sleep, we were just going to wait until it light and leave.

I stood up, crossing over to our pile of gear and grabbing the map, laying it on the dining room table and running my fingers along the creased material until i found out where we were, various bodies drifting behind me.

“What if we head to the coast and there’s nothing, we’re already slowly attracting a horde behind us, we could get trapped,”

“Well we have to assume the further towards the coast we go the less Walkers.”

“Not necessarily,” Maggie conflicted, “It’s more populated towards the coast, what if we headed inland, south west, it’s a lot more countryside, farms like ours,” she paused uncomfortably, “And stuff, less buildings and cities means less walkers”

“I think we figured that might not work last time.”

“No,” I cut off Daryl, “That was because of the helicopter and everything, which led a lot of them close to us, the cattle just enticed them more.” I huffed, “Maybe inland is our best choice, at least then we have just... more room to move if we need too.”

“We should vote.” Glenn finally spoke, “Coast?” Beth rose her hand.

“What if there’s a boat? If there’s a settlement and people are leaving the country, we don’t know if this is worldwide. You know the news when it first started reckoned it was water, nuclear waste. Other countries could be okay.”

Andrea’s hand was half raised too and she nodded at Beth’s words.
“At least then we have an aim, we could end up lost without gas if we don’t know where we’re going.”

Glenn waited a few seconds before he spoke again, “Inland?” Maggie’s hand rose quickly, mine and Daryl’s following. Glenn took a few seconds but raised his hands looking sheepishly at Andrea who muttered scornfully under her breath.

“And what then?” she complained, “We set up a little village, just us few, live out the rest of our days acting like nothing’s happened? There is no way this could ever end with normality.”

I saw Maggie roll her eyes and had to fight back a grin, moving away as Sophia began to moan and accepting her from Beth,

“I’d just like to stay alive as long as possible to be frank. There’s got to be more people out there like us, normal. We just have to hope we find them.”

“And then we just wait to die and turn into Walkers, “Maggie said pulling a face and, winking at Andrea’s shocked face. This time I let out a chuckle, causing Sophia to look up at me in surprise her nose wrinkled.

“ Let’s just deal with today first shall we?” Daryl said, ending the conflict before it could truly start, “Reckon’ she needs feeding” he said, coming up to me and looking down at Sophia who smiled the minute she saw him causing a similar expression to pop up across my features.

“There’s powder in the bag and a bottle, have we got enough water?” he nodded, disappearing outside and pulling out a large gasoline bottle we had filled with water a few days ago when we had run across a rare area where water still ran from the taps.

He made it quickly and I passed her to him, unable to take my eyes off him as he fed her, a small smile across his thin lips.
I felt a poke and turned to meet Glenn who whispered in my ear, “Daddy Daryl ‘motherfucking’ Dixon,” I rolled my eyes swatting at him, and he grinned, going back to the map with me following. “He’s got a knack for it,” I said, turning again as Glenn drew a route and listening to her gentle gurgles.

“Well one baby’s enough for now so keep it that way.” Again I hit his arm.

“Maybe if you didn’t keep the condoms all to yourself and Miss Greene...” I teased, watching the familiar blush rise, as his eyes went to Maggie who smiled lightly at him, Beth’s head resting on her shoulder.
“Shut up Ariella.”

“Shut up Glenn,” I mimicked in a stupid voice, drawing another line on the map that brought us precariously close to the prison,

“We can’t go that way.” Glenn stated simply, taking the pencil from my hand, “Plus, they would have moved on wouldn’t they?” I smiled at his optimism, and we spent the next couple of hours marking some places that we thought would be safe to stop at, how long it should take to reach each place.

The sky began to lighten, and so we got ready, Sophia again dozing in my arms as I placed one of the last diapers on her, grinning as she smiled at my fingers dancing on her stomach. I covered her in one of the baby grows Sophie had, covering her still with a jumper and pulling her to my chest, “Time to go sweetie,“ I mumbled, running my fingers through her light dusting of hair as I covered the top of her head.

“I think you’re her favourite,” Beth’s voice appeared from behind me, a couple more blankets from upstairs in her arms, “And Daryl...” she paused and pursed her lips, “You two would be good parents.” I rolled my eyes at her, not even able to deny in anyway how protective I felt over the small being in my arms.

“Come on then Aunty Beth, “ I teased, leading her out of the house and into the car, for once sitting in the back and allowing Glenn and Maggie to squash together in the front seat.

“Seat Belts on everybody.”

I heard a slap and a moan of pain as Maggie told her boyfriend to “Stop being so damn annoying.”

“I hope the next place we stop has double beds,” Beth began, finally returning to herself.

As I always say it’s scary how quickly you can force yourself to get over death.

“I hope there’s a Taco-Bell...” I added, “Or a KFC, god I’m hungry now,“ Beth giggled and I nudged her, indicating she watch Andrea who stared sourly out of the window.

“I hope there’s a man for Andrea as well so she can get laid and cheer up.” I hissed to Beth who snorted loudly, causing everyone in the car to look back.

“What?” I said over-dramatically as everyone stared, “We’re just enjoying our little day trip.”

“Yeah, I can’t wait to get back to work and go deliver some pizzas.” Glenn joined in with false enthusiasm, the three of us soon wishing and joking about ridiculous things, the atmosphere in the car better than it had been since mine and Glenn’s drive to Coalville weeks ago.

“I just hope there’s some earplugs so I don’t have to listen to you lot, “Andrea finally began to talk, her dark mood lifting slightly as the minutes passed. Sophia was asleep across my legs, my hand holding her head.

I rested my head against the car door, leaving the conversation as I watched the hedgerow pass us.

I just hope at some point we can stop running.