Tiptoe Through the Tulips

I took a ragged breath, aware of his body heat reaching me. His eyes flickering over mine. “Erm...”I said, instantly regretting the flirting, the look in his eyes. He blinked, seemingly realising the reaction and standing up quickly.

“Shit, I am so sorry, are you okay Ariel...?” He growled, not letting me answer before turning, almost savagely ripping open the door, his bat already in hand as he pushed the walker back into the darkness, shielded from my eyes.

The only sound was his grunts, and the hits of the bat against decomposing flesh.

I pulled myself up, rubbing the residue left on my wrist hard on my jeans, desperate to get it off of my skin. With my axe firmly in my grip I turned, pulling the backpack strap firmly on my back and leaving the house, ihaling a deep breath of cold air, my eyes out of the street.

I felt awkward, and when he arrived a minute later, splatters of blood up his arms I knew he did too.
“Sorry ‘bout that.” He muttered and I forced a smile.

“It’s fine...stupid mistake...we should probably stop chatting shit and concentrate.” He nodded slowly, the conversation between is dropping to a few syllabelles as we searched the next two houses, jamming some more in the backpack.

“Running out of room, we’ll have to shove this in the truck.” He said finally, gently tugging the pack from me.
“Yeah, I’ll take out the few on the road and we’ll head to the town hall...actually...” I halted him, waiting on the front yard, “We’ll go to his house. If there’s anything useful, maps, ideas, it will be there.”

He nodded again, spinning on his heel slowly before heading to the truck, allowing me to walk further up the silent road.

The silence, even now seemed weird.
To see somewhere like this, where there should be people, cars, children.
Empty.

The first walker was easy, I simply sped up as I was approaching it, a hard swing caused my axe to stick in its skull, causing it to plummet to the ground instantly.

The other I tackled with a knife, although this once seemed more alive, more...hungry if anything, causing me to have to dodge it, eventually slamming it on a nearby car and jamming one of my knives through its eye.

“Not bad.” Seth teased as he made his way over, obviously deciding the awkward atmosphere was too much. And thankfully pushing past it.

“Where the hell did those guys go anyway? This place is only like a village?” I shrugged,

“Hopefully into the town hall, or somewhere with gas.”
_____________________

The answer had been both, the supplies dumped in the trunk, not just gas, a mass of blankets, clothes, a selection of bats, knives. “Good haul.” T-dog had commented, us all finally stopping loading as the sun began to set, it was earlier every night.

And you did not want to be out in the dark.

“Where are we gunna stay?”

“Governors place is the nicest.” Merle said, causing me to wince, trying to play if off with a sarcastic comment, “Think I’ve spent enough time in there if that’s alright.”

“One of the houses closest, you guys didn’t find nothin’ in the second did ya?” Seth shook his head which seemed to settle T-dogs mind.

“Fine, we stay there, head off tomorrow as soon as it’s light.”

“Sounds good.” Merle popped his lips but nodded, moving to grab a pile of blankets, glaring at Seth as he went to help him.

I rolled my eyes, moving and leading them into the small semi-detached house. It was still nice, quaint, pretty. The walls decorated with floral paper, evidence of a child.

“Two rooms?” Merle grunted and I nodded. “You take a room, then either of yous’ the other.”

“We forgot food,” I said suddenly, practically dragging T-dog from the house to escape the awkwardness, the silence.

Merle had little to say to us and we had nothing to say to him.
“How was he?”

“’Bout as pleasant as he gets.” T-dog grumbled, causing me to giggle. “You guys have more fun?” I nodded.

“Got a bit awkward though, and...” He lifted a brow and I sighed, “This goes no further...”

“Which means you’ll tell Glenn.” He shot me a wide grin, relieving the tension.

“Maybe I took it wrong, I dunno...but Seth was being really flirty, and... there was Walker and we fell and I think he wanted to kiss me.” I scoffed, “God that sounds like I’m up myself doesn’t it?”

“You might just be reading too much into it.” I shrugged, looking back at the house.

“I don’t know, I don’t want him to get the wrong idea, or hurt his feelings or...”

“You known him for like three days, chill. Nothings gunna happen and no one’s gunna get hurt alright? Quit stressing, we got bigger things to worry about.”

“The walkers?” I asked blankly, grinning at his response.

“Merle ya mean. I ain’t sharing a room with him.” I chuckled,

“You can share a room with me.” I teased, winking at him, although I still felt uneasy about earlier.

And the fact that for a split second, I wanted him to kiss me.

I scolded myself, felt like utter shit at that realisation, that confession to myself.
It was just because he reminded you of people, brought you back to before this, you want before, not him.

“Yeah, don’t fancy telling Daryl that. You remember what he was like with Glenn.” I lifted a brow,

“You’re not gunna tell me you thought me and Glenn were fucking too are you?” He shook his head.

“You and Glenn became close to quick, there was no way it was anything but emotional.” I pouted at him, tilting my head. “How sweet.”

“I’ll take watch with Merle,” I offered, “I’m sure you’ve had enough of him by now.”

He didn’t disagree.
___________________________________________________

“My brother don’t shut up ‘bout you.” I glanced at him, we’d been on watch close to an hour, the still ticking watch on the kitchen door pointing just past two am, and so far he had said nothing.
“Hopefully it’s nice stuff.” I commented, not eager to enter into conversation with him. He chuckled in his way, a hint of darkness, it almost made me cringe.

“Nothin’ but.” I fought a smile.

“That’s good to hear.”

“I wanna show you summin’ tomorrow.” I glanced at him, feeling my brow furrow. He met my eyes. “That Seth guy ain’t stopped lookin’ at ya.” I rolled my eyes, once again trying to play it off.

“Just nice to have someone he’s got stuff in common with I imagine.” I spoke slowly, feeling his disbelief. “What do you want to show me?” I changed the subject and he let out that dark grin.

“I wanna show you how much my brothers loves you.” I almost scoffed, what a weird statement, such a weird thought...and from Merle. “And I wanna show you what he’s capable of.” I opened and closed my mouth mutely, feeling the goose bumps erupt over my arms.

He changed the subject, drifting out of silence with random tid-bits, others places we could check, the candles behind us starting to burn out.

“Why weren’t you there for him?” I burst out suddenly, my voice low, eyes still staring out into the darkness that was Woodbury...or had been. He took a few minutes to answer.

“Same reason I’m betting you never told no one bout your dad.” I froze, the small turn of my head to meet his eyes was like twisting stone, every muscle in my neck contorting, I could feel it, hear it.

“I don’t know what you mean.” For a second, in the moonlight, the candles illuminating him from behind he looked more soft than I had seen him, older, almost kind.

“Don’t bullshit me girl. I know you don’t know how bad it was where we grew up, but...ya can tell.”
“You can’t tell anything.” I said defensively, “And don’t give me shit about it being in my eyes, it isn’t.”

He shook his head, “Nah, you’ve hidden it your whole life, aint ya? Used to it...but in the car, no mention of your daddy. Now, that ain’t normal is it? Girl your age, aint no father figure so you’ve made one with Rick, that ni- T-dog, Daryl even.”

He paused, and I pulled my eyes away from him, feeling the tears prickle, “I ain’t stupid but I also I ain’t gunna say shit to no-one. Not even my brother.”

“He knows.” I breathed, “And he’s the only one that does. So I’d like it to stay that way.”
He held up his hands...hand in a mock surrender.

“My lips are sealed.”
I felt my gut trust that, it still churning that he had worked it out, so easily, so quickly.

“Is it obvious?” my voice was hopeful, hopeful it was not.
As with when Daryl had told Carol, I didn’t want the pity, the assumption I was weak.
“Not to people who didn’t grow up around that shit day to day.”

He was still soft, he had done it, thought less of me.
“I’ll finish watch, go tha’ bed.” I felt the irritation flood.

“I can manage, I’m not inadequate.”

“I say you were?” I shot him a glare. He chuckled, “Look at the clock, our watch is over in ten minutes. I ain’t dissing you girl, go to bed, wake up the others.” I bit my lip, still uneasy, still feeling judged.

“You promise you won’t breathe a word to anyone? I mean it, this is something I do not want getting out ever.”

“And not even the china-man knows.” My glare hardened and he rolled his eyes.

“Told ya I won’t say shit. An’ I won’t.” I nodded, “Not that having a five foot Barbie doll after me would be that scary.” He smirked, as if to insinuate his joke. I dropped my glare.

“I’ll wake the other two.” I concluded, my knees clicking as I stood, the silence striking again.

But leaving me with a new burst of respect for the other Dixon.
_______________________________

He had literally torn his throat out, his face was covered in bruises that had developed doing his savage beating. His eye was covered in congealed blood, hanging out from where I had stabbed it, the other so swollen it was shut.

The room was trashed, furniture everywhere, blood splattered on the walls. A knife still dug into his brain.
I felt sick, turning and brushing past the almost amused Merle. I was horrified, a part of me thrilled, thrilled he was dead, died in pain, deserved pain.

But that Daryl had done that lost it. Flickers of the time at the farm, where he had come back, bloody, shot, a string of walker ears around his swollen neck.

It explained the bruises over his arms, shoulders, but I had looked past that. The deep scars over his back had drawn the attention, had distracted. My stomach churned.

He hadn’t killed him, he had tortured him, slaughtered him.

Why had Merle shown me this?
To show me how savage Daryl could be? How cruel?

There was no purpose to showing me it but to scare me, intimidate me.

“I don’t want to see this.” I told him, the smell beginning to catch under my nose, desperate for the fresh air just metres away.

I practically gasped once I was in it, inhaling as much as possible, desperate to rid my mind of the images behind me, the possibilities that lay with the corpse. “Lets’ head back.” I said, my voice croaky, the bile high in my throat as I didn’t wait, storming to the car.

“I never want to come here again.” I turned, telling Merle purposely.
He tilted his head, nodding silently.

T-dog was driving again, shooting me a concerned look that I ignored, not looking at Seth who now sat in the passenger seat and climbing in the back, pulling a blanket over me and slamming the door hard, instantly resting my head on the door.
T-dog and Seth were smart enough not to talk to me, to let me seethe, to ponder.

To freak out about what the man I loved was capable of.