Tiptoe Through the Tulips

The others were back before we were, two more tents sent up in the small area, a slight fire going.

“All go alright?” Michonne was the first to speak, deep calming tones, I nodded silently. T-dog answering, chatting with her as I moved silently, Maggie appearing and helping me drag some of the blankets to them, all in silence.

She kept glancing at me but I ignored it, mouth pouted, the image of the governor, torn apart was strong behind my eyelids each time I blinked. “You okay?” She said softly after a few minutes and I nodded, honesty being my best option.

“Merle showed me what Daryl did to the Governor.” Her frown was instant, although I was well aware she hadn’t seen.

“Is it as bad as what I’m imagining?”

“It’s worse.” I dropped the blanket, her letting me go easily, turning to speak to Glenn who must have asked after me, why I was storming away past the cars, why there were tears flowing down my angry face.

I stopped, staring past the thin trees and feeling my hands form fists.
I hadn’t said a word the whole drive back, I couldn’t.

I couldn’t erase the image from my mind.

“What are you doing?” I shrugged, breathing out slowly, “Ariella, it’s not safe out here.” I twisted, meeting her tired eyes.

“I’m just thinking Andrea, I’ll come back in a minute, got my pistol.” Her lips pursed but she shuffled, and I heard her footsteps receding to the circle of cars, the low barrier.

I stood still a while, watching my breath catch in the breeze, eventually tucking my hands under opposite armpits, flexing my fingers to keep them warm.

It was getting cold too quickly...the baby needed warmth. She needed somewhere more stable, somewhere like the farm...like Woodbury.

We all needed that.

“You coming back anytime soon?” Another voice, a male one, higher than Daryl, better spoken.
Glenn stood next to me, dragging a large jacket over my shoulders. “You’ll get cold.”

“No shit.” I joked, releasing a hand and rubbing it under my eyes to try and rid myself of the sign of tears, “How red are my eyes?”

He spun me gently, observing me, “Not bad. You...you want to talk about it?”

I snorted slightly, “You mean you want me to divulge what I told Maggie.”

“Pretty much,” He offered a nonchalant shrug. “You don’t have too.”

I cut him off, “Merle took me to see the Governor’s body...what Daryl did to him.” I sighed heavily, facing him again, “It was sick Glenn, he’d literally torn his neck out, and his face was just one purple lump and...”

“It’s nothing less than he deserved,” his voice was harder than normal, an edge he couldn’t usually carry, “You have no idea how mad we were, how worried, and...” He rubbed his chin, “Daryl told me the Governor was mocking him, talking about you...about what he’d done.” His eyes were on the floor, staring hard at chips of bark, twigs. “He deserved more.” I let my own eyes scan the area.

“It worried me, seeing how much damage he would willingly do to a person.”

“He wasn’t a person, he was a monster.”

“Glenn...” I sighed, “I’m not saying that, I wish, I wish I’d sorted my head out sooner and killed him myself, just... he was mutilated... like...Daryl enjoyed it.”

“I understand what you’re saying but...you don’t know what he was like with you gone..again, it was like when we first arrived at the prison but so much worse, you can’t be mad at him.”

“If Maggie had done it and you’d walked in, you’d get my point.” I said, patting his arm as I brushed past, pulling the jacket properly over my arms, offering Martha a gentle smile, her eyes barely open.

Instead I asked Andrea for Beth and crawled into her tent, finding her reading a book, Sophia, barely from her side was gripping a toy the others must have brought back. I pulled her gently onto my lap as I sat cross-legged, her eyes staring up at me as if she was trying to work something out.

I was.

“What ya’ reading?” I half sang, finally drawing Beth from her book.

“Atonement, you read it?” I nodded, “I like it, don’t much like Briony though.”

“That’s the point.” I yawned, brushing my hair with my fingers.

“If you’re tired have a nap, nothing much is happening today...I think we’re moving tomorrow, Maggie said her and Michonne are in charge of beginning to pack up the cars and deciding what we do and don’t need.”

“Surely it would be worth having everything?”

She shrugged, “We only have three cars, and there’s fifteen of us.” I frowned, she had a point,

“Including Sophia that is, so fourteen people needing seats.”

“True,” I murmured, rubbing my face again.

“Seriously, have a nap.” She lifted a brow, suddenly reminding me of her elder sister.

“Fine, is she due a feed?” I asked gently, brushing a clump of hair on Sophia’s head. Beth nodded, scrambling around in a bag and handing me a bottle, already mixed.

“You do it,I’ll go read somewhere else and make sure people keep it down.” She smiled gently at me, touching my hand before leaving the tent, closing it from the outside. I let out a shallow, long breath, moving so Sophia was leaning against my arm and resting the teat of the bottle of her lips, her mouth suckling straight away, tiny hands trying to grasp the plastic unsuccessfully.

I waited until she was done, lifting her to my shoulder to burp her, it didn’t take long and thankfully didn’t leave me with a trail of sick down my jumper. Instead I lay her down gently, shrugging into Beth’s sleeping bag, Andrea’s small pile of things in the opposite corner.

I let out a ragged breath, watching Sophia until she fell asleep, the murmur still evident from everyone else as they did whatever they were doing, planning, packing.

It was dull in an odd way, but I was finding it hard to get to sleep, I was exhausted, tired from the long watch, the poor sleep after.

I was just tired, I understood Andrea’s point about that, it was tiring now, you could never relax, never truly settle.

Sophia didn’t have a problem, but she didn’t understand...for now.
A baby was one thing, but a toddler, a small child...how could they deal with this?
How could this be normal life to them?

I think I eventually drifted off, my body forcing my mind to stop worrying, the Governor’s corpse finally not in the forefront of my mind.

I woke up when Sophia did, stirring, a weak cry that brought the maternal instinct in me upwards, gently scooping her up, it was darker, the tent dim. My eyes felt dry, my hair a mess.

I must have slept for the majority of the day.

Clambering from the tent, Sophia’s head close to my collar bone, I realised it had definitely been a while.
The fire was bigger, illuminating the other tents, the cars I could tell were full of things not needed right now or in the early morning.

“Morning.” Rick teased, a wide smile, almost too wide. I smirked back, feeling nervous by the sheer joy radiating from his face.

It sounded harsh, but what did Rick have to be so happy about?

I was worried about his mental wellbeing.
“You alright Rick?” I asked cautiously, sinking onto a blanket.

“Brilliant,” He drawled, tossing sticks into the fire, his stump not bandaged today but the skin pink, scabby, healing.

“That’s good.” My words were drawn out, slow. Carl, across the fire met my eyes and shrugged, no-one had spoken to him about Rick, that was stupid, unfair.

I decided I must.
“Whose on watch?” I asked, a few others appearing from the shadows.

“Glenn and Maggie are just finishing... it’s Daryl and me next,” Andrea said, looking resentful.

I saw a chance and took it, “I’ll do it, after all I’ve just been sleeping all day. Where’s Daryl?”

“Talkin’ to that Chinese boy.” Merle crowed, sitting back on the hood of a car, still not a ‘member’ of the group. I saw Seth roll his eyes.

“Alright, I’ll go tell them two to come back...”My stomach grumbled, “Anything I can pinch to eat first.”

“I’m done with this, sick of it to be honest.” Seth offered and I shrugged, the lukewarm can half full of Chilli was far more appealing than usual.

“Cool, thanks.”

It was still slightly awkward between us, considering we had clicked so suddenly.
I trotted past Abed and Michonne on the way back, him addressing a cut on her arm I hadn’t noticed.

I frowned, “It’s fine.” She assured me, “Nothing bad.” Abed nodded, the two returning to their murmuring as I continued, the frown growing as I saw Maggie, Glenn and Daryl in deep conversation, one that stopped the minute Maggie saw me.

“Hey you.”
So it was definitely about me.

I smacked my lips together, “You two can head back, I offered to do watch with Daryl.” Glenn nodded,
“Alright...you got a watch on you?” I shook my head.

“We’ll swap with whoever when we’re tired.” I offered, my voice was odd.
I felt...betrayed, them bitching behind my back.

“Night,” Maggie drawled, pulling me into a swift and unnecessary hug, only confirming my suspicions.

“What were you three all chatting about?” I asked coldly, waiting until they were back near the group, the splatter of trees greeting me again.

“Movin’ tomorrow.” He said curtly, obviously wary of my tone, “What’s up with ya?” I chewed on the inside of his cheek, was it just that?

Was I really so paranoid?

“When we were at Woodbury...Merle...Merle worked me out.” I said honestly, “He just...figured everything out and that worried me.”

“Ya worried it’s obvious?” I nodded, surprised at how quickly he understood. “It ain’t...we just...” He scoffed harshly, “Guess we got a similar idea ain’t we?” I saw my breath again, standing closer to him and leaning my head on his shoulder, all anger at him diminishing.

Something too close to fear for my liking too over.

“And he took me to the Governor, to what you did.” I glanced up at him, instantly aware that it was indeed what he had been speaking to Maggie and Glenn about. “I know Glenn would have told you, I’m not stupid.”

“No-one said you were.”

“Then don’t fucking bitch about me,” I grumbled, letting my hand run over his upper arm, as always loving the way they flowed over his muscles.

“He was worried, said you were freaked out.”

“Understandably.” I bit back, tearing my eyes from him and keeping them onto the sky, growing orange as the sun set and the stars began to grow visible.

“I don’t know what ya’ expect me ta’ say?” I shrugged.

“I just... you didn’t just kill him Daryl, this was... savage.” I finished in a whisper, lifting my head from his warmth.

“I ain’t sorry if that’s what you’re expectin’.”

“I don’t know what I’m expecting...I was just shocked.”

“He deserved it, Glenn and Maggie agree.”

“Maybe I’m just too soft then.” I said, with a hint of sarcasm, realising there was nothing more to say on the subject, nothing I could do.

“Just remind me not to get on your bad side.” I teased, my voice still a little tight.

“You’re never gunna be on my bad side.” He said and I smiled, biting my lower lip, prodding him.
The watch was peaceful, no walkers, little noise, except an awkward moment where I could hear whispers of Maggie and Glenn having sex.

Nothing to report.

But something to tease Glenn about.
_______________________________________

“So how are we putting everyone then oh mighty planner?” Beth shrugged, lifting Sophia slightly higher on her lip.

It made Beth look older, just holding her.

“I don’t feel like being all squashed up,” Martha teased, nails digging slightly into my arm as she leant on me.

Due to the lack of food she seemed even more frail, her hand little more than a skeletons.
“Right,” Maggie called, several others finishing taking down tents, rolling up groundsheets, blankets.

“Daryl is driving the people carrier, with... Ariella, Beth..so Sophia, Merle, Seth and Andrea.” I caught Daryl roll his eyes, him and Andrea were bickering a lot lately, this morning’s argument over the way to fold the tent just exasperating things.

But of course Merle was with us, no-one else would have him.
I was just surprised Maggie was okay with Sophia being in the same car.

“Then it’s...me, Glenn, Martha, Abed in the smallest car, since we’ll have the majority of the tents and blankets.

To me it would have made sense to have a bit of everything in all the cars...just in case.
But I hadn’t voiced that opinion, and it seemed no-one else was being as negative as me...that was hopefully a promising sign.

“So that leaves, in the red car, Michonne, T-dog, Abed, Rick and Carl... that alright with everyone?”

Several people gave grunts of agreement and I led Andrea to the car she would be travelling in.
“I’m too old for this,” She complained, her usual teasing tone gone.

I didn’t say anything, smiling at her and moving over to Daryl and Seth who were finishing loading stuff in the back and the foot wells, a few cans of gas crammed in.

“How far we driving?”

“There’s a village, barely a hamlet about a hundred miles south, enough distance for the day, and hopefully small enough.” I nodded, I wasn’t really involved with map planning anymore.

“Sounds good.”

“So long as the damn baby don’t cry.” I rolled my eyes at my boyfriend.

“We’ll just let her sit on you, she loves you.” I teased, grabbing a cardboard box crammed with food and helping his shove it in a left over gap, “This isn’t going to fit.”

“We’ll make it.” He grumbled, shoving until it wedged in, having to slam the boot quick to stop it falling out. “Sorted, Maggie...” She glanced up, “We’re ready.”

“Won’t be long here, if you wanna leave.” He nodded, but looked uneasy glaring around as if an army of Walkers might randomly appear.

“You got all of Sophia’s stuff in the car.”

“Yes, fuckin’ hell Ariella. You sound like my mother.” Seth scolded with a smirk, earning himself an eye roll as I climbed in.

“Shotgun!”

“Beth and Sophia are up front with ya.” Daryl told me, rolling his eyes, “Maggie’s terms for letting Merle in the car.” I snorted, taking advantage of everyone else being busy and kissing him heavily.

“I was surprised she was happy about it.”

He shrugged, “Merle ain’t been too much trouble..” I frowned, “For him.”

“Whatever you say sweetheart, I’ll go get Beth and Andrea, go find your brother.” He grinned at me, walking the opposite way to me, a call for his douche of an elder sibling.

“I really don’t wanna sit next to Merle.” Seth complained, making me jump, his fingers digging into my sides as he came up next to me.

“Well Andrea wont. He isn’t that bad.”

“You’ve certainly changed your tune quickly, you looked really pissed off after you two were on watch in Woodbury.” I shrugged.

“No way around it.” I didn’t hear his grumble instead heading over to Andrea who looked positively thrilled at the prospect of spending several hours with her two favourite Dixons.

I just grinned at her, pretending to listen to her moaning, taking Beth from Sophia as she ran into the designated toilet bush.
It was glamorous, the zombie apocalypse.

Even more so when you reach that certain time of the month, especially when blood attracted walkers.

That was something I now dealt with since my implant had run out.
Within a month I was sure all of us would have synced our menstrual cycles.
Wonderful.

“Come on you, let’s go see grumpy Daryl.” I cooed to Sophia, heading to the car and gently climbing in, taking the side of the seat closest to where Daryl would be.

“She can’t understand ya’ ya know that?” I shook my head at Merle.

“How do you know?”

“I’ve had a few little bastards in my day,” He said with a grin that made my stomach twist.

“Charming Merle.”

I didn’t have to wait long, the other four arriving in a couple of minutes and a few after that we were in a convoy, following the wide winding roads.

“Have we got a couple of routes planned in case the highway is blocked?”

“Yeah Miss smarty pants.” Daryl teased, testing the radios, just receiving static or no noise at all.
With little conversation the journey dragged, it would only take a few hours before hand, but now, needing to be careful, having to wind around other cars, get out to move them... it was late afternoon by the time we reached the village.

“Too many.” I muttered, waking Beth and Andrea, Daryl and Merle hopped from the car meeting a couple of the others debating. I was trapped in my position by Beth, unable to hear the decisions being made until they returned quickly.

“We’re continuing on, about another twenty miles to another decent’ lookin’ place.” I nodded with a sigh.

In the end we were left sleeping in the car, not finding a quiet enough place until the next evening, and only stopping there for the night.

“What in the hell is that?” Seth said suddenly, the car in more of a mess than ever, having needed stuff for the night before. But there had been some water, and I had washed my hair, wiped down my body with drying baby wipes.
I felt a bit better.

I followed his gaze, there was smoke pouring from the forest ahead, spilling into the road.
A couple of bodies followed and Daryl slammed to a halt, the flames were flickering at the forest edge, a large tree creaking, slamming down, trapping one of the men.

The other two were skinny, coated in an odd substance, mud, blood?

They stared straight into the car and we stared back.
The screams was the third was a distraction, not important.

One of the others threw his axe at the window and it smashed through, landing precariously close to my leg.

It took a second for us all to comprehend, but then Sophia was screaming at the splayed glass, and I noticed several small cuts on my hand begin to weep blood where it had caught me as I covered my face.

Daryl was already half way out of the car.