The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows

Things didn’t feel awkward when we finally stopped kissing, though you were silent and I didn’t know what to say or do. My heart was lifted, my senses strong, and my hand was locked onto your own, holding on for dear life as if you were going to float away. Once I looked at the time, it read three in the morning and I sighed. I really didn’t want to leave.

“Joey… We have to go back to my house to sleep. It’s getting so late,” I murmured, eyes closed as I said that to you. I felt you shrug, and your fingers had tightened their grip on my own.

“Can we just freeze right now? I’ve wanted this to happen for a while, I just didn’t know when or where or how it would happen,” you murmured back to me, a slight groan coming up from the bottom of your throat.

“I… We can still be like this when we get back to my house, right?” I asked, opening my eyes so I could look at you. You looked to me and smiled, shrugging once more before reaching over with your free hand to tuck away the piece of hair that was loose behind my ear, hand sliding across my cheek afterward.

“You ask that as if this is the only place this can happen at,” you laughed then, leaning over to kiss my forehead before hesitantly letting go of my hand to stand up. You helped me up and I pouted slightly, fixing my shirt and smoothing my hair back, it messy from us kissing a few minutes prior. We got back on your bike and you peddled to my house, the streets speckled with silence and dimly lit. There was a cool breeze, the stars still out just as bright as earlier in the night. We got back to my house and you hid your bike away in the bushes, slipping into my room through my window with me. Once inside, we laid down on my bed and you pulled me close, hugging me to your body as we drifted off to sleep. It was the best night of my life, and if that was sad, then butter my butt and call me a biscuit, I sure as hell was leading a sad life.

-----

I felt you leave me and my bedside the next morning, opening up one of my eyes to see, the time being nine o’clock. I sighed and turned over on my side, reaching out to grab your wrist gently. You looked at me, though it was an expectant look as if I were suppose to do something I didn’t know I was suppose to do. I just smiled and ran my finger down your wrist, pulling my hand away and tucking it under my stomach.

“I hope you slept good, Joey,” I murmured, my voice still waking up along with the rest of my body.

“That night was worth no sleep and all the sleep I could get,” you smirked at me, leaning over to kiss my cheek gently. Once you stood on your feet, you pulled on your shoes. “Worth no sleep because being awake would mean it wouldn’t end, but worth sleep because I fell asleep holding someone I never thought I could hold like that,” and a smile played at your lips like you knew something that I didn’t. I didn’t mind that, though.

“I’ll text you around one, okay? I think I might sleep in today, or something, but tell Evan about it, ‘kay? We’ll see him around three,” I replied. I was ready for more of the changes to come, I had decided. I also decided that it was okay to step out of my comfort zone. The reason getting high was so out of my comfort zone was because I had heard such bad things about smoking weed, about it being a ‘gateway’ drug, leading people who use it to go onto worse drugs because the high wasn’t enough. Maybe that was the case for other people, but I had a feeling that you, me, and even Evan all were invincible when it came to that statistic. I wouldn’t let that happen to me, or to you, or to even Evan. It was almost as if, even though I had only had a handful of real conversations with the kid before the first time, I was determined to protect him-- for some strange reason.

“Alright, El, I’ll text and see you later,” you said, nodding before you left out of my window. I just laid there in bed, on my stomach, head turned toward the window as I thought about what had just happened. Maybe that was the change I was feeling in my gut, the change of our relationship that I thought would never happen. It did, and I wasn’t too sure on what to think about it. What happened on the meteor shower night had pros and cons to it, as do all things that happen in life. I liked the fact, though, that it just felt so right and so easy; it was as if it was actually planned. It wasn’t, and we both knew that something had happened that night, it was going to shape the future and we both knew that also.

-----

After you left, I got up and made myself a cup of tea and ate a small bowl of corn flakes, not wanting to change out of the clothes I was wearing because they still had the night on it. I finished my cereal and Margo came waltzing down the hallway, a big smile on her face. She walked up to me, engulfed me in a hug and just giggled, pulling away to look at me.

“Ella, have I ever told you how silly you are?” She asked, and I looked at her confused, sipping quietly on my tea as I waited for her to explain what she had meant. After a second of her big grin just remaining, she smacked her glossy lips together and made a ‘pop’ sound. “You were right about change happening,” was all she said, walking past me all whimsical-like. She glided, basically, as she began to make herself a cup of coffee. It was eleven-thirty, I don’t know why the blonde woman was making coffee.

“How do you mean?” I questioned, curious. Margo could easily be fit as a Disney princess, so pretty and sweet and giddy all the time. I sat onto one of the bar-stools and crossed my legs, warmed from my sweatpants.

“Well, I woke up to a bouquet of red and pink roses from our rose bushes outside and a note in a cute little envelope. I didn’t know what your father was doing, but then I realized that today was the day that he and I met. It’s been a year since he bumped into me, having me appraise the bracelet your mom threw in the trash, and it doesn’t seem that long,” the woman cooed, smiling. I just tilted my head to the side and nodded, urging her on. “Well, I read the envelope and… Oh, I’ll go get it,” and Margo slipped away into the back bedroom, only to return a couple seconds later. Holding up the opened rectangle envelope, Margo cleared her throat and pulled out a neatly folded, hand written letter in my dad’s handwriting.
Dear Margo, it began…

It has come to my attention that today is the day that you and I met a year ago. You were so cute with your blonde and curled hair, nicely done fingernails and shiny pink lips. My heart nearly stopped beating as soon as I laid my eyes on you. It was almost like what happened with my previous wife of fifteen years, me stopping dead in my tracks. Though this is different beauty, your inside beauty is the equivalent of your outside. You’re great with my daughter, and I can tell Ella loves you to death. I know you and I as well with Ella and I all get along and don’t get along at the same time, but the pros outweigh the cons. Big change is happening with Ella, I know she won’t be my little girl any longer, but that’s besides the point. I’m aware that our eleven-month anniversary of us actually being in a relationship is coming up and I’m a grown man, I don’t call you my girlfriend, I call you my significant other. I want to change this. I want to call you my spouse, my better half, the light in my world, the life-long love I’ve been looking for all of my years of dating. I guess what I’m saying is I want to talk to you about things later on today.
Your’s truly,
Donald.

I didn’t know what to do as Margo started to tear up, the water-works being happy and joyful. I just smiled wide and swallowed the lump in my throat, myself getting a little bit choked up. When my dad wanted to, he could be romantic. He wasn’t always about business, sometimes he liked to have fun as well. He also wasn’t as big as an asshole as what he seemed to be, though everyone can be an asshole sometimes. He was a true romantic man and obviously did something right with Margo, for she had not left him after all the random blow ups he had with her.

“Wow, Margo, that’s so cute and nice and sweet… I didn’t even think he was capable of writing something so sweet,” I laughed, finishing up my tea and looking at the blonde. I thought of you, wondering if you had ever written something like that to a girl-- a sick feeling came to my stomach as I thought about all the love and care you had wasted on your ex-girlfriends, and I almost felt like I was going to puke. That feeling was foreign, I had never felt like that before and I guessed that that was what people called jealousy.

“I know! Eep, Ella! I think he might propose, oh God if he proposes…” The woman then smiled and clapped, setting the letter down on the counter. “I’m going to make dinner tonight. Invite Joey, okay?” She asked, looking at me with a wide grin. I just nodded and smiled, butterflies welling up in my stomach.

“Okay, will do. I’m going to go uh… Hang out with him and another friend today, though. Speaking of, shit, I have to text him. I’m going to go up to my room and get dressed, okay? If you need anything, just holler,” I told Margo. I ducked away and up the stairs, pulling out my phone to put in your number and send you the okay for gathering Evan up, and to meet me back at where we first got high.

And then I got excited, not only to see you but to be up in the clouds once more.