The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows

We got together with Evan an hour after I had texted you, Margo on my mind just before I had my first hit off of the joint you had rolled. After, of course, that thought about that blonde lady escaped my mind as the smoke escaped my lungs. I looked to you and smiled, giggling quietly as I had passed the cigarette-like object toward Evan, other hand going through my hair.

“So, El, how’s your third time getting high?” Evan asked, looking at me as he puffed on the drug. I shrugged, and he nodded in response, blowing out smoke rings into the air.

“Not at all different, still feeling high after the first four hits. Joey tells me it’s your eighteenth birthday in a week, how exciting. Gonna have a big party?” I asked Evan, pulling my legs up to my chest and wrapping my arms around them. Evan handed you the joint and I watched you smoke it, you slightly blowing the white smoke toward me. I smiled and let it hit me, not moving to avoid it. You took one more quick pull and then passed it to me, my hand reaching out to grab it. I took one hit, held the smoke in, then let it out, slipping the joint between my lips to take another one.

“Well, I dunno… I don’t really have many friends, just you, Joey, this kid named Trevor, and then Latney,” Evan said, reaching out for the joint. I handed it to him and exhaled the smoke, nodding. Latney was an outcast just like us three, basically. He never really spoke to anyone, so I never really took the time to talk to someone who didn’t want to talk; though Evan and Latney got together really well. Trevor, on the other hand, was someone who you wouldn’t ever think would spend the time to even look at anyone like me, you, or Evan. He was a ladies man, a student body council member, and a straight A student. Aside from all that, though, Trevor was a really nice guy who I had a few intelligent conversations with back in ninth grade when we had Biology together.

“Ah, we should just… Hang out, I guess,” I replied to Evan, looking up into the clouds as my vision started to dance from blurry to normal. “Do this, maybe get a bit wasted,” I added nonchalantly.

“Get wasted? Ella, you’ve only gotten drunk three times. One of which was with your aunt back in ninth grade. With wine. That doesn’t count,” you said, laughing loudly as you took your turn getting a hit off of the joint. “You’re silly,” you added, smirking at me. I giggled and rolled my eyes, shushing you as I looked from you to Evan.

“Whatever, I wanna get drunk with someone fun. And I think you guys are fun, so we should get wasted for Evan’s eighteenth birthday,” I replied, and I stuck my tongue out at you. You smiled and then snuffed out the joint, putting it back into your little wooden box.

“Okay, El, whatever you say. So, what do you all wanna do?” You asked, your lips pursed as your puffy eyelids shuttered close for a few seconds. I grinned, looking at Evan expectantly, then watched him as he reached for his obviously vibrating phone.

“Fuck.. I have to go, I’m sorry guys. Fuck, I have to look not-high in under two minutes. That was my mom, she wants me home to help with dinner. I’ll text you two, okay? Later, dudes,” Evan said, sighing as he hurriedly put his phone away, nearly dropping it in the process. He got panicky, trying his best to wipe the ashes off of him and rub his eyes to make it look like allergies. I reached forward and grabbed my small bottle of perfume out of my pocket, spraying it on him.

“Okay, it may not be manly, but it smells like oranges and you can tell your mom you were with a hot babe, not getting high,” I said to him, laughing loudly as he nodded.

“Alright, alright. Bye, guys,” and just as soon as Evan had came, he left. I looked to you and just smiled, closing my eyes as I leaned my head back and let the high soak in. The next thing I knew, your hands were pulling me up and onto your lap, arms engulfing me in a sweet embrace. I blushed slightly, opening my eyes and tilting my head down so I could look at you in your green eyes.

“What, you too ashamed to do this in front of Evan?” I asked, tilting my head to the side as a crooked grin formed on my lips. You exhaled, shaking your head.

“Too scared to break the poor kid’s heart. I guess he likes you, pretty much. Thinks you’re one of the most beautiful girls he’s ever seen, so I don’t want him to feel like shit if we show this,” you explained, right hand reaching up to smooth my red hair out of my face. I was shocked, in all honesty. I didn’t think Evan was the type to like girls like me. He never really showed it, so I didn’t get that vibe.

“Really? Wow, that’s… Strange. Why on earth would anyone like me?” I questioned, completely serious. You rolled your eyes as I played with the collar on your flannel shirt absent mindedly, sighing some.

“I don’t know, you’re pretty gross,” you replied, a quiet chuckle coming out of your mouth before you ducked your head to kiss my lips softly. It felt just as good as it had the first time, even better. Being high made the kiss seem more than what it was, the weed heightening my senses. I ran my fingers through your messy brown hair and gripped onto it slightly, wanting more than just the simple peck you had given me. You seemed to know that, so you deepened the kiss and slipped your hands to my sides to grip onto them. I placed the other hand that wasn’t in your hair on the back of your neck, fingers grazing your skin as I slipped my tongue slightly between your softened lips. I had kissed before, of course, but I wasn’t experienced in it. The two boyfriends I had ever had in my entire life were too scared to even do anything too physical, the farthest we had gotten was just my shirt being off and their hands exploring my body. Sex wasn’t something I had particularly wanted, but I didn’t really want to be a twenty year old virgin. It wasn’t because ‘everyone was doing it,’ but because I wanted to experience the bond and affection of moving in sync with someone else. Sex was delicate in my mind, and you knew that. You, on the other hand, had plenty of experiences in fucking and I didn’t mind that; that just meant you were experienced and if what was happening between us had potential, I wouldn’t mind losing my virginity to you. I imagined it would be great, because I knew that you would be gentle and caring.

“Ella,” you whispered breathlessly after a few minutes of us kissing, our tongues dancing together softly. “Ella, you’re so beautiful,” you murmured, pulling your lips away from mine so you could let them fall upon the skin of my neck. I closed my eyes and tilted my head back, letting out a sharp exhale as goosebumps started to form on my pale skin. I blushed, bringing my hand to my mouth fast. You pulled away to look at me, chuckling. “What? What’s wrong?” You asked.

“I… I don’t want to turn you off by moaning…” I replied, biting onto my bottom lip and hiding my eyes with my free hand. The other hand that was still tangled in your hair came away and I placed it on your chest, peeking out through my fingers.

“Ella, I bet your moaning is one of the most beautiful sounds to ever exist,” you murmured, hands slipping slightly under the back of my shirt. Just as you were about to kiss my neck again, my phone rang and I let out a frustrated sigh. It was my dad.

“He-hello?” I asked, trying to regain my composure and breath. I looked at you, a bit panicked but apologetic.

“Ella, I want you to come home for dinner. Margo made some spaghetti and meatballs and I don’t want you to miss out on it. Invite Joey over if you want, I guess, just don’t be out too much longer. It is nearly seven o’clock, you know?” My dad said, a bit angry. I sighed and closed my eyes, biting my bottom lip once more.

“Yeah, yeah, sorry, Evan and Joey and I have been watching a movie…” I replied, my stomach’s butterflies dissipating. “Alright, well, I’ll see you in a couple minutes,” I added. I hung up my phone and hung my head.

“Time to go?” You asked, frowning. I nodded and climbed off of you, fixing my shirt and putting my flip-flops back on. I sprayed my perfume all over me and all over you, fixing your hair with a grin.

“Come with me, my dad invited you for dinner,” I said, putting my phone into my pocket.

“Ooh, alright. Let’s go, then.” You stated, raising to your feet and spraying some cologne on yourself. I laughed and pulled my hair into a bun, grabbing onto your wrist and pulling you toward the trail that lead out to the road. We headed toward my house, your hand gripping onto my own. Our fingers slipped together and I felt the butterflies well back up into my stomach.

“I’m so fucking high,” I stated. And the high was so great, I didn’t want it to end.