The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows

Dinner went smoothly that night, you left and I acted normal, my dad and Margo all loving on each other as they watched a movie. I guess they decided to get married, no proposal or anything, just the decision to get married. Dad was going to take the blonde lady out to shop for an engagement ring, which was pretty cool. My mom just used her cheap piece of shit that she got out of a quarter machine. It was stupid, she was stupid.

“El, do you mind getting Margo and I some popcorn?” My dad asked, and I obliged, going into the kitchen to reach into the pantry and pull out the bag of Orvell Redenbacher ‘popping corn.’ I put it in the microwave on the setting for pop corn and then ran upstairs quickly to grab my phone so I could text you. I found the device, put it in my pocket of my pants, and skipped back down the stairs quickly.

A minute later, the microwave rang and I pulled the buttery smelling bag out, pouring it into a bowl. I decided I would get a handful to shove in my face while I gave it to my dad.

“Can we go camping sometime soon?” Margo asked my dad, a pout on her face. My guess was that the wilderness in the movie they were watching triggered her sudden want to be ‘one with the outdoors’ and ‘rough it’…. In a mobile home. That was what we went camping in, a motor home.

Debating on whether or not to kill myself right now. Make the decision in 3... 2... I sent to you with a slight grin on my face, waltzing back up the stairs to go into my bedroom. I laughed and picked up Dex, pulling him to my chest as I sat down on my bed. I put the black cat in my lap and ran my hand down his spine, scratching the space between his back and his tail.

No, absolutely do not kill yourself. I made the decision for you, see? Easy? Piece of cake. Done. You sent back after a minute, a wider smile creeping up on my face. Then another text came back and it read: come to a party with me tonight? We can get wasted and then do random things at the abandoned store on still st.

Alright, but go easy on me. I’m probably a light weight, also… Can something fucking great happen? Like us find a shopping cart and go shopping cart sailing?” I replied with another slight laugh. Then a text came back, but it wasn’t from you.

Do u wanna come 2 trev’s party 2nite? Horrible spelling and grammar from the dearest Evan. I giggled quietly, shrugging. Then your text came back, easier on the eyes than Evan’s.

Yes of course. It’s at Trevor’s house, btw (: The little smiley made me laugh, thinking about your smile, and I nodded, scratching Dex’s head.

Evan just asked me to it, too. I guess I should go then. Come over, help me pick out something to wear like a best girl friend would do, lol I sent back. You replied with a simple ‘fine’ and then I just collapsed backward, pulling my cat on top of my chest.

“El, Margo and I are going to bed. I’ll see you in the morning,” I heard my dad murmur through the door, but he didn’t leave until I said something.

“Okay, yeah, for sure. Night dad, tell Margo I said night as well,” I stated, sighing slightly as the man walked away and down the steps. I heard Margo giggle and then their bedroom door shut a few seconds after that and I didn’t want to think about what really was going on.

----

You came over, climbing up through my window like you always did. I greeted you with a tight hug like I hadn’t seen you in forever and kissed your cheek softly, Dex walking up to you and greeting you with a hunched back and slight meow. I watched you pet him and just smiled, standing back as you fixed your hair.

“So, I was thinking, wear a sexy little dress and the heels Margo gave me?” I asked, amused at your lit up face at the question. “Is that a yes?” I added.

“Uh, yeah, of course! Of course! I’m sure all the boys will be all over you, drooling. They wouldn’t recognize you if you did your hair and make up all nice, too,” you replied, nodding as you took off your jacket.

“But what if I don’t want all the boys all over me?” I asked, pouting-- the reference hidden. What I really meant was that I wanted you to be all over me, how ever sexual that sounds.

“Too bad, it’s gonna happen.” You noted, sitting down on my bed. After that, you looked at me expectantly and I laughed, rolling my eyes.

“Alright, whatever. I’ll pick out an outfit, then put it on, then you be all girly and act like a girl and tell me if it matches or not and makes my ass look good,” I said sarcastically, giggling. I grabbed a short black, sparkly tube-topped dress and then a strapless bra, waving it around in the air as I wandered into my bathroom. I pulled the stuff on and emerged a couple minutes later, looking at you with a quizzical expression.

“Well, damn, El.. That’s perfect. Where the fuck did you get all these sexy clothes?” You had asked, your eyes scanning my body. It was almost as if these last few nights had changed us, you especially. It was like a whole new side of the both of us, but was it bad? I didn’t think so.

“Margo.. Margo gave them to me because they didn’t fit her. Margo is the reason why I’m forcing myself into being more feminine as I get older,” I stated, laughing. “Have you ever wanted to just kiss someone all the time because you can’t see yourself being able to form coherent sentences towards them. The reason being how good they make you feel?” I asked randomly, looking to you as I sat down on my bed next to you-- though I was on the foot of my bed and you were on the side of it.

“All the time. Every waking minute of my life,” was all you replied. I just smiled and reached out for your hand, bringing it up to my face so I could place a light kiss on your palm. It was a polite gesture, though I wanted to kiss more.

----
After I did my hair and make up, we met up with Evan on the corner of the street and I could tell he was looking me over as we walked ten blocks to Trevor’s humble abode. It was a familiar-looking home, as was all of the houses in the suburbs on that side of the town. They were big, probably three to five bedrooms to them, all nice green lawns and pretty flowers. Though on the inside of the McAnoy’s household was a different story. His parents were gone out on vacation, leaving him to the house, which wasn’t wise. Trevor was constantly throwing parties, though I had never personally been to one. You said you had, and so did Evan, so I didn’t expect you to wander.

“So, El, I’ll make sure you don’t get too drunk and don’t do anything you’ll regret with any guy,” you noted, turning to me with a child-like grin on your face. “And we can smoke all the weed we want, it’s in high supply here. Trevor’s brother’s friend grows and gives it to them for free,” you added.

“Ah, okay. Come on, let’s party then,” I nodded. I was nervous, scared even, for that was my first party I had ever been to that involved both booze and drugs and probably casual sex. I didn’t mind, though, I was willing to get fucked up and have you take me home and lay with me in bed.

The night would be okay, I told myself, and I walked into the musty house with the loud music blaring through all the rooms. It was packed, people smoking hookah and drinking and dancing like whores upon other people I knew from school, not to mention the main factor of your ex Miranda standing there, looking like a fucking supermodel.

Shit.