The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows

Evan and I hung out for an hour or two before he had to go back home to his mother. This left Margo and me alone in the kitchen, her leaning over the bar and me standing in front of the sink as I did the dishes. I was nearly through when I heard her airy voice.

“What happened to Joey?” She asked, and I looked over at her and thought about you before answering. I contemplated on telling the truth or not, but I didn’t want Margo to tell my dad, so I lied.

“He left yesterday feeling sick, and I think he’s asleep,” I stated as I put the last bowl into the dishwasher. I placed the dish-cleaning tablet in the compartment it was suppose to go into, shut the door, and put it on the set wash I always did.

“At twelve?” Margo frowned, picking at the candy we had in a dish on the island. I nodded, shrugging.

“Yeah, probably longer. I’m gonna go get in the shower, okay?” And off I went.

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Finishing up and drying off, I checked my phone in hopes you had gathered yourself and called, but you didn’t. I wanted to call you, but I wanted to also give it another day or so. Evan texted me, asking me to meet him on the corner in town by the minute-mart, and so I did. I left an hour after I showered and changed, deciding to walk to town rather than get a ride from Margo. It was warm, about eighty degrees, and not a single cloud in the sky, so everyone was out and about doing things, glad the rain didn’t stay from the previous night. I saw Evan, walked up to him, and smiled.

“Hey, El. You okay?” The dark-haired teen asked me, hands in his slightly-baggy jeans’ pockets. I shrugged and wrapped my arm around him, giving him a slight hug.

“Better, I guess,” I smiled crookedly. He nodded, looking down at me with a grin before taking off his beanie and running his fingers through his shaggy hair.

“Wanna go chill at my house? Meet my mom and family?” Evan questioned, the expression on his face curious. I had never been over to Evan’s house, never met his family, nor even knew where he lived really. I nodded in response.

“Sure, I guess. I’ve got nothing else to do,” I replied with another shrug. I shoved my hands into my shorts’ pockets and bit my bottom lip.

“Come on, then, Ella,” Evan smiled and put his beanie back on top of his head. He reached out, grabbed my wrist gently, and pulled me along like I was some lost little girl. “My mom’s sometimes… Guarded, and my little brothers are all very rough and rowdy,” he added as we walked. I laughed quietly, shrugging as I brushed the tip of my pinky over his index finger.

“That’s okay, I don’t mind,” I said. It was more to myself than to him. I didn’t mind his family being rowdy, because I’d never experienced that. I was an only child and my parents never considered having another kid, and all of my cousins on my dad’s side were all older than me. I felt a rather queer tingle in my stomach, then, but not like the ones I experienced when I was beneath Evan or kissing you. It was a feeling of almost loneliness, even though I was never lonely. I always had you, or my dad and Margo, and now Evan. I think it was more so empty than lonely. I tilted my head to the side and bit my bottom lip, in deep thought as the scruffy teen and I walked down the sidewalk in silence. Evan looked at me then, like he had heard the gears in my head turning and my subconscious thoughts whispering into my conscious thoughts’ ear. I brought my eyes to his hazel ones and held a blank expression.

“What’re you thinking about, El?” He had asked, but I didn’t answer right away. I wanted to know more about Evan, which was weird considering what we had done the night before. He bent down so he was in my line of view after I looked away, waving his calloused and dirty looking hand in front of my face. My eyes met his once more and a crooked smile played at my lips.

“What’s it like being the oldest? And having siblings? And a mom?” It all flew out at once, like I had rushed the trio of questions when I had in fact thought about them carefully, as to make sure I wasn’t going to offend him or anger him.

“Hmm… You’ll see when you meet my family,” Evan smirked, pulling my wrist toward a double-wide trailer in a row of about seven. I didn’t realize that we had walked down a private drive until we entered the chain-link gate hugging the matching fence. I scanned the area and looked at all the symmetrical rows of miss-match single-wide and double-wide mobile homes, some brand new and others caught in an earlier time. His home was slathered with faux wooden and fading red planks, the paint chipping in some areas. “Mom likes us to wipe our feet on the carpet outside, but that’s no use since it’s dirty and never gonna get washed,” he chuckled then as he took off his red and blue beanie. I nodded in response, carefully walking up the stairs, each creaking under my weight. The railing wobbled and that’s when I could tell this trailer was a well worn out house that was delightfully decorated in random knick-knacks.

“Does she want me to take my shoes off?” I asked, looking down at my considerably muddy shoes with disappointed pursed lips.

“Nah, just leave ‘em on. Our carpet is filthy anyway, and the linoleum isn’t any different,” Evan replied with a big grin. “This is all new to you, ain’t it? Only ever been to those fancy two-story houses, like Trevor’s and Joey’s?” He questioned, an amused look shooting my way as he entered the dimly-lit house. At the mention of you, my gut churned and a sharp pain pierced my heart. Guilt. Evan noticed this and frowned, shaking his head. “I’m sorry, El, really,” he apologized.

“Nah, it’s fine. Let’s just not talk about him..” I said quietly. After I ran my fingers through my soft hair, a wisp of dirty grey smoke came out of the kitchen and I heard a woman cough, a murmured curse followed.

“Evan, is that you honey?” The same voice called, the short brunette with crows’ feet wrinkles and a soft-pink scar underneath of her bottom eyelid asked as she appeared in the tiny doorway. Then her brown eyes came to me and a tilt of the head and smile came onto her face. “Hell, if you told me you were bringin’ a girl home, I woulda gotten dressed,” she smirked. She wasn’t wearing any normal-day clothes, just a very baggy and long guys’ shirt with a pair of paint-splattered black leggings underneath, and an apron with the tie wrapped around her waist twice to hold it onto her small frame. It was stained with random smudges, some looked to be burn marks from what I had guessed was her cigarettes.

“Sorry mom, it’s just a spur of the moment. This is Ella,” Evan introduced me, hand pointing to me. I stepped forward then and waved slightly, a polite smile coming to my lips.

“Ella, what a pretty name. I’m Cathy MacGuire, pleased to see my son’s not gay,” she laughed a course laugh then, having a drag off of her cigarette and blowing the smoke out into the room. After a second, she swatted at the air and frowned at me, shaking her head. “Shit, I’m sorry, you probably don’t like cigarette smoke. I apologize, I’ll put it out,” she said hastily as she proceeded to stub the burning end out onto the tiled wall near the doorframe.

“No, it’s fine,” I replied. When Evan said she was guarded, I couldn’t understand why. Cathy seemed nice and laid-back. I heard the pattered foot steps of little kids treading down the carpeted hallway toward us and the voice of one of them, making a ‘zoom’ noise with a wooden airplane in his hand. Spit came flying out from his mouth as he pronounced the ‘oom’ part rather hard. Followed was an older looking kid with another airplane in his hand, though it was plastic and had the panting of an angry lion on its side. He zoomed after the brown-haired and freckled boy, laughing as they played chase. When they swooped around Evan and ducked between my legs, I let out a small giggle and ‘oof’ sound.

“Cody, Marcus, what the heck are you guys doing?” Evan asked, watching as they stopped dead in their tracks to turn toward him and I. “Don’t do that to company, especially girls,” he said. This was a firm-voice I had never heard, one he had never used to or around me. Just then, a sleepy-eyed baby came staggering out of the back bedroom, blanket in one hand and his hair in the other on top of his head. “There’s Eddie, my two-year old brother,” Evan said with a big grin. He walked over to the baby boy and gathered him up into his arms gently, bringing his curly-head over to me.

“Hi, Eddie,” I smiled softly, leaning in close to him. He had piercing grey eyes, and brown hair like the rest of them, his face decorated in freckles too like one of the other boys.

“Boys, this is Ella,” Evan said proudly, a big smile on his face. I held out my hand gently and smiled big, hoping to entice them to grab and shake my palm.

“Hi Ella, am Marcus,” said the little boy. “I’m four years old,” he added. I nodded and laughed at this, putting my hands on my hips.

“Four? Wow, and you’ve already lost a tooth,” I replied, noticing one of his front teeth missing as he grinned. The older boy stood toward me shyly, head down and hand hung close to his body.

“I’m Cody,” he murmured, hand grabbing mine cautiously. I nodded again, crossing my arms. “I’m eight,” he also added his age.

“Well, nice to meet you, Cody,” I answered. This family didn’t seem as bad as Evan made them out to be.

“Alright, well, Ella and I are gonna go into my room so you two better leave me alone,” Evan murmured as he walked past his brothers, me in tow behind him. We entered one of the four rooms and I surveyed the area. I took note of his dark blue walls, his blinds pulled tight over his high window, and his queen-sized mattress on the floor. On his walls were random posters of random guitar players, some I recognized and some I didn’t, and some lined notebook paper with stanzas on them. I leaned toward one, reading the sloppy hand writing on them.

“You write poetry?” I asked, sounding surprised.

“Yeah, yeah, don’t make fun. It’s just a hobby I have whenever I can’t sleep or some shit,” he murmured shamefully as he rummaged through his closet to find a hidden box, one like you had.

“Why on earth would I make fun of that? That’s one of the hottest things I’ve ever seen,” I said with a big and toothy grin placed stupidly onto my blushing face.

“Hot?” He asked, tilting his head as he turned to face me. As if he didn’t know the meaning of the word.

“Extremely.” I added with a sure nod. And just like that our lips were tangled together and his hands were wandering softly over my clothed skin. I winced once as he touched one of his bruises he left me, and he pulled away to look down at me.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he said as his face twisted in horror.

“You did, but not the bad kind of hurt, the good kind, you asshat,” I giggled. He wrapped his arms around my body and pushed my face into the crook of his neck, hand resting on the back of my red hair. I breathed him in, my pale hands gripping his jacket’s material.

This was nice, and I felt warm and safe. Welcomed and accepted in a home I had never been in.