Be Free, Be You

I ran my tongue along the fronts of my teeth in unvented irritation as I stared at the front door where Valarie had just made her ridiculously dramatic exit.

“I think I pissed her off,” I commented drily, trying my hardest not to lose my temper and punch a hole through the wall. Not that I’d ever tried it, but whenever I was angry, I was curious as to whether I could accomplish it or not. Sure, it hurt like a bitch, but the pain would take my mind off my burning anger.

“I think she pissed you off right back,” Puck mumbled. He leaned against the fridge, probably wanting to comfort me, but knowing that, after that last comment, putting his arms around me would have been a dire mistake. “I don’t know what got into her.”

“She gets into moods sometimes,” I explained off. “But that doesn’t excuse what she did. I wasn’t judging her. I was making an observation. I’m a writer. It’s what I do.”

“I’m not a writer, and I would have noticed, so I don’t blame you,” Puck responded sincerely. “I just know the look in a chick’s eyes when she wants it.”

I rolled my eyes and tugged at the door of the fridge, hinting at him not-so-subtly to get himself out of my way. He stepped to the side, and I reached in to grab a can of Diet Coke.

“God, she just irritates me,” I vented as I pulled my butt up onto the counter, flicking open the top of my drink and taking a swig. “I don’t know who she thinks she is, bossing me around and making fun of me like that. She’s so rude.”

“She’s your sister,” Puck reminded me. “It’s her job to piss you off, and it’s your job to do the same back to her. It’s the way life works.”

“But still.” I left my statement at that, and for a long time, I kicked my feet back and forth, letting my heels slam into the cupboards underneath me, staring off into space as I seethed.

Finally, I burst out, “GOD. I wish this didn’t bother me so much.”

“You’re too sensitive,” Puck told me, but he didn’t say it offensively; it was more like an observation that he was stating out loud. “I think I know something that’ll get your mind off things.”

Before I could ask what his intentions were, he closed the gap between us, stepping in between my legs so I straddled him, and connected his lips with mine.

I sighed into his mouth as I allowed him access into mine, wrapping my legs around his torso, pulling him closer to me.

His hands were around my lower back, trying to make the almost nonexistent space between us even smaller, and mine were around his neck, pulling at the hair at the bottom of his head.

He made a little moan of pleasure into my mouth, and I felt a shiver go up my spine.

His grip around me tightened, and he backed up slightly. And just like that, reality flashed in front of my eyes. He was going to pull me off the counter and carry me to another room, whether it was the couch or straight up to my room. And things were going to get heated and passionate and frenzied, and before I knew it, I was going to be at the point of no return.

And lord knew I wasn’t ready for the point of no return.

“Stop,” I mumbled, snapping back my head, our lips making a smacking noise as they separated. “Stop there.”

He didn’t listen, closing the distance between us and putting his lips just under my jaw, planting kiss after incredibly soft, sweet kiss. “I love you,” it sounded like he garbled against my skin.

My back stiffened in fear. It was far too soon to drop the l-word. We weren’t even a real couple yet.

“No, you don’t,” I denied, using a little more force to push him away from me. “Don’t say it if you don’t mean it. I may be inexperienced, but that doesn’t mean I’m naïve enough to fall for your shit.”

Puck sighed and took an extra step back, finally taking his arms from around me. “God, you’re the only girl who would ever call me out on that.”

“I’m not like other girls,” I told him with a sigh.

“Nope. Other girls would want to believe it, whether they knew it was true or not. But you just don’t care if people love you, do you?”

Something that had started out as such a compliment turned into a hissing accusation at the end. My eyebrows drew together. “That’s not true, Puck. Why are you getting all pissy? Because you know I’m right?”

“You know what? I’m leaving. Call me when you’re done whining and groaning about your dumb fight with your sister.”

With that, he stormed off, pulling his hood on over his head, and yanked the door open.

“YOU’RE BEING AN ASSHOLE,” I screeched after him, but he didn’t answer me, letting the sound of the slamming door be all the answer I needed.

And so concluded our second fight of the day.

I sighed as I hopped down from the counter and started up the stairs, my sweaty Diet Coke can in one of my hands as I made the journey to my room.

Once I was properly closed inside, I put my drink down on my side table and flopped face-down on my bed, burrowing my head into one of my pillows, reliving my arguments over and over again.

God, I was such an awful person. No wonder everyone tried to pick fights with me. It was easier than admitting that I was no fun to be around.

Sighing, I turned over and stared at my ceiling, my arms circling my middle in a sort of self-hug, trying to calm down my insides and comfort myself.

After a long time of moping, I sighed and picked up my phone to send Valarie a text: Val, I’m really sorry. I wasn’t trying to judge you, promise. I was just trying to use sister’s intuition. Maybe I should cook dinner tonight to make up for it?

I had expected her to take a while to answer, since she was supposed to be at practice, but she must have been on break or something because she answered within a couple minutes. it’s okay, sorry for freaking out at you. And lol no. if you tried to cook, the house would be burned down.

I snickered at her declaration of the truth and agreed without hesitation.

Once the issue with Valarie was resolved, I found myself staring blankly at the wall again, trying to figure out what I was going to do with Puck. It occurred to me that it was entirely possible the two of us simply weren’t meant to be a couple. After all, how stable of a relationship would we have if we argued so much before we even made so much as a step toward taking the romantic side of the fork in the road that was our relationship?

I pursed my lips together and let out a sigh. And why the hell had he gotten so irritated, anyway? Because I’d actually called him out on his shit when he expected me to swallow it, to nod and agree? That totally wasn’t my style. I was a romantic, not a fool.

I knew I’d have to ask Valarie later about what she thought. She had way more experience in the area of decoding guys, and she’d probably know what the whole deal was about.

Shoving the idea out of my mind for a while, I turned on the television, finding a showing of America’s Next Top Model within a couple minutes, and settled back to watch for a while.