Be Free, Be You

I felt like I couldn’t breathe as I stared at the group in front of me. More than anything, I wanted Valarie to end the feud between us, but I never imagined she’d do it publicly, singing of all things, and a song that the two of us loved as kids. It was like my heart was swelling to an incredible size, and I was so scared that I’d start crying at any second in front of all the people who used to pretend I didn’t exist.

But instead of saying anything, of being dramatic or exposing my emotions, I rushed to the front of the room and threw my arms around my sister. In that moment, I didn’t dwell on the small details, of how pretty their three voices had sounded together, how Puck had said he loved me through his lyrics, or how everyone must have felt uncomfortable by the obvious emotion in the room.

I could vaguely hear the rest of the club filing out of the room slowly, mumbling under their breaths in questioning voices, wondering if that meant Glee Club was over. I didn’t acknowledge their whispers or glance over, only taking the closing of a door as a signal that the entire crew had left.

Valarie’s hand was still in my hair, smoothing it down comfortingly, her face buried in my shoulder. I’d forgotten how much I missed Valarie until I could smell her again, and actually her, not the smell of horribly-hidden sickness.

“I’m sorry, too,” I finally whispered. “I was acting like such a child. I should have listened to you.”

“Don’t worry about it.” She drew away from me, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear and smiling. “It’s all behind us. Okay?”

I nodded simply and glanced behind her where Puck was standing, watching the two of us carefully. His face was a careful blank mask, which made me shudder involuntarily.

“We can talk at home,” she whispered softly, probably so the other boys couldn’t hear. “I want you to talk to Puck for a minute. Artie and I will be outside.”

Before I could protest or ask for her motive, she was gone, the door shut behind her, forming a barrier between the hallway and where the two of us stood.

The only sounds in the rooms were the nervous, though incredibly quiet, breaths slicing through the incredibly thick silence. I nibbled on my bottom lip nervously, picking at an uneven part of my thumb nail, as I waited for Puck to say something.

“I spoke to Valarie and apologized for everything I ever did and said to her,” he burst out suddenly, making me startle with shock. “I never should have acted like that, but I can’t take back the past. And I have to apologize to you, too.”

Furrowing my eyebrows, I looked up at him and opened my mouth to ask him why he’d have to say anything to me. He cut me off by closing the distance between us and hooking an index finger under my chin to make me look up at him.

“I can’t blame Valarie for wanting to keep you away from me. Not only did we have a past, but I’ve been treating you like shit the entire time we’ve had…whatever we did. So many times, I could tell that you wanted some kind of label to put on what we had, and I didn’t want to do that. Because I don’t like being tied down. And maybe you liked using me a little bit, too, to forget about things that were going wrong in your life. If we’re going to do anything else here, then we have to respect each other more, okay?”

I was speechless for a second, groping around in my mind for the words I really wanted to say. “You’re right. We were both at fault for whatever disaster that relationship was. But if you’re willing to put that behind us and start over, then so am I.”

“Cool.”

I didn’t know exactly what I was expecting, but cool was a little simplistic. Not that I was exactly hoping for the Gettysburg Address from Noah Puckerman, but anything more dramatic would have been fine.

Instead of scolding him for his lack of originality, I pressed my lips lightly against his, feeling him smile under my mouth. When I pulled back, looping my arms around his neck, I asked, “Valarie’s okay with this, right? ‘Cause I’m not willing to argue with her again over our relationship.”

“She gave me her blessing and everything,” he replied with a smirk. “No need to fight anymore.”

I sighed and leaned my head against his chest, feeling the soft, thin material of his t-shirt on my cheek. “Oh, and Puck?”

“Yeah?”

“Your part in the song was really sweet.”

He thought back to the lyrics and cleared his throat. “We should go find your sister,” was all he said in response, his voice stiff and uncomfortable.

Struggling to suppress the smile that was threatening to take over my face, I laced my fingers together with his and followed as we journeyed into the hallway in search of my sister.