The Color of Her Eyes Were the Color of Insanity

I love cooking, normally, but this wasn’t cooking. Cooking is when you put your passion behind the meals, not adding water and making slime for the girls to eat. I mixed the goo over the heat. I wanted to a some spices to the dull taste. Rosa the oldest person in the room was teaching some of the other girls to cook, but Dr. Sullivan told her how much I like to cook so she just handed me the measuring cup and pointed to a spot.

I caught on quickly how to make the goo. I looked around the large kitchen, seeing various girls spread out around the islands, mixing and making various items. I love the kitchen. The surfaces were stainless steel and the cabinet and storage under the island was purple painted woo. Everything shine and no one bumped into one another here. The room was massive.

“So are you feeling the meds yet?" I hear as a girl popped up behind me. She was quite tall, standing at, at least 5'8". She had long pink and black hair that went own to her hips. She had several piercings that I was surprise she was able to keep.

"Umm no," I answered as I thought about it. I didn't feel any different, but I had expected the meds to take awhile to get the effects.

"Sweet! You’ re like me. You got placebos," She explained as she sat on the counter next to me.

“What?” I asked as I looked up at her confused.

“When a Doctor fancies you, they give you placebos so you don’t act any different. Though they can only fancy you if you if you’re wrongly here like me," She explained in a rushed way “By the way, I’m Kristina Newman."

"I’m Cadhla Thompson," I replied as I grimace at the goo again. She laughed and walked off leaving me utterly confuse. I sighed and looked back over, not seeing the head of pink hair anywhere. She must have left.

"Dr. Sullivan needs you in his office Cadhla!" Rosa yelled over the sounds of metal on metal. I nodded and turned off my burner and set my apron on the back table. I left quickly, rushing up the stairs to the top floor. I knocked on the door and pushed it open once I hear him yell to come in. "

"Hello Cadhla," He murmured as he rand a hand through his hair. He sat own and set his head own on the desk.

“Are you ok Dr. Sullivan?" I questioned as I walked over to his desk. He didn’t say anything as he handed me a paper and a pen. I couldn't " t help but smile softly at him. He was acting like a child. I took both the pen and paper from him and sat own on the chair. I sighed as I saw it was a depression test. I started on it quickly, getting it one in a matter of minutes.

"I hoped that was going to take longer than it did," He murmured as he rolled his head so he was looking up at me. I sighed and stuck my hand out. He handed me another paper and I quickly filled out that one too.

"You do those too quickly," He whined. He lifted his head off the desk and looked at me. His deep blue eyes had large bags under them, making me question just how much sleep he had gotten. I didn’t ask though. I still didn’t know where exactly my place was.

"I’m use to filling them out," I said as I set the other one under his chin. He nodded and place his head back down.

"You know if you’re in this room you can say anything you wanted. I can’t and won’t tell anyone else," He murmured once again as he set his head back own. I nodded and grabbed his notepad from under his head. He lifted his head lightly and then place it back own. I looked over his questions he had written own.

1. How do you feel about being here?
2. What are your fears about being here?
3. What are you fears?
4. Do you feel betrayed by being here? and so one, the last question confused me, but I knew I had to answer it. Would you be willing to do anything to help your doctor succee in helping you over come your problem? "

“Do you wanted me to answer these questions out loud or on the paper?" I asked as I handed the notepad back to Dr. Sullivan , “Dr. Sullivan?" I asked again when I saw that he was sighing. I was beginning to think that it wasn’t me that need the depression test.

“Out loud please. My eyes are messing up and I don’t feel like reading, " He expressed as he put on a pair of glasses. I nodded and took the note pa back, grabbing the pen.

“I’ll write them own as I answer them so you have it on record," I said as I started to write out my first answer, "How do I feel about being here? I’m not sure yet. I’ve only been here for a day. I don’t like cooking here I can tell you that much, but what girls aren’t drugged up like mindless roots are nice. In fact I met a girl, who I think will be my friend today."

I went through every question just like that until I reached the last one. He looked at with an eyebrow raise. I guessed that he was confuse as to why I had stopped. I looked at him and took a deep breath, replaying what he had said in my mind. "You know if you’re in this room you can say anything you wanted. I can’t and won’t tell anyone else,”

“Would I be willing to o anything to help my Doctor succee in helping me over come my problem? I can honestly say yes, I don’t open to people easily Dr. Sullivan , but I " m telling you all this. I don’t believe I have a problem with fire, but with my emotions. I know I’m damage goods," I said quietly as I looked own, “but before you help me, I think there is something I can do to help you.”

“And what is that?" He asked as he leaned back against his seat."

“You don’t sleep," I said simply, “If I help you with sleeping, can you help me?”

“I think I can Cadhla , though now I wanted to know how you knew I wasn’t sleeping," He said as he leaned closer again, looking at me as if trying to read my soul through my eyes.

“You have bags. You’re wearing glasses. Your hair is a mess and I’ve been sleep deprived more times than you can imagine. I still suffer from it, but no one leaning on me from a day to day basis. Plus you’re childish today," I finished finally looking up at him.

“If you think you can help me, I'll be in your room tonight. Although you do have one thing wrong. I’m always childish. You just haven't been here long enough to know that," He said with a small laugh.

“If I succeed on making you fall asleep tonight can you get me out of working in the kitchen?" I asked with a deflate look.

“I thought you like cooking?" He asked with and almost worried tone.

“I do, but I like to be more creative than cooking goo," I explained as I made a face. He laughed and nodded.

"If you succeed you will work in here with me as a note taker for the cases I have. Since you showed me how well you can o that," He said as he pointed to my papers. I nodded and smile I’d like to work with him. It would be interesting. I could learn more about the patients here, and what really went on here. Though I knew I might have some problems.

“That sounds good to me," I said as I shook his hand.

“I’ll be in your room at 11. Oh, and you can call me Jimmy," He said as I stood up. I smile lightly at him and nodded. I walked out thinking about all the ways to make someone fall asleep.

Most people Would wonder why I’m not fearful of Dr. Sullivan Jimmy, but I can honestly say. I don’t see a monster in him. Not like Shane. No man had ever abuse me until Shane and I wasn’t going to let that ruin me. I knew Jimmy was going to ask me about it one ay and I knew I’d have to break own and tell him everything, but until that ay came. I was going to be me and help my doctor like he was going to help me. I might not trust Jimmy one hundred percent, but I knew if he didn’t drug me up like the other girls there had to be a reason.



Jimmy walked into my room at exactly eleven o’clock, making me nearly jump out of my skin. He had never given me pjs so I had to wear a pair of my scrubs for bed. He looked at me puzzle before nodding.

“I’ll be back,” he said as he rand back out of the room. All I saw was the black of his basketball shorts before my door close. I stood awkwardly in my room, looking around as I heard movement from next door. I hear a chuckle as I walked over to my small dresser. I felt two things hit me making me look up at the white tank top on my head.

“What’s this for?" I asked as I looked at the shorts and the tank top.

"You need pjs!" He said as shrugged. This was defiantly another side of Jimmy that I was seeing. I nodded and looked own at the pjs in my hand and the very tall man in front of me.

"Can I change by myself?" I asked him as I looked down blushing. I hear his chuckle before I hear the bed dip in. I looked over to see him covering his face with a pillow. I shook my head before quickly changing. The clothes fit me perfectly which was amazing.

“Ok so how do you expect to get me to go sleep?" He asked as he sat own on the e. I thought about it for a moment before siting on the edge of the bed.

"Lay down,” I said as I pushed his shoulder. He nodded and laid own with this face buried into the pillow. I laughed quietly and place my hands on his shoulders and gently applied pressure.

"Don’t make fun of me!" He yelled as I laughed quietly when a noise of relaxation. I nodded and, continue ruing the knots out of his back.

"Getting tired?" I asked as I applied more pressure.

“Yeah, but would you if break out if I took my shirt off. It's rubbing my back raw," He said as he reached up to strip from his shirt.

“No that’s fine," I said as I moved so he could remove his shirt. I looked amaze at his skin. He was covered in tattoos. I stopped myself from tracing the large "Sullivan" tattooed on his back and went back to massaging. My eyes grew tired as hours went y and slowly Jimmy’s eyes were closing as well. My hands ache but I ignore it as I felt his breathing even out. I smiled and stopped ruing his back.

"Lil more..." He whined as he reached for my right hand. He grabbed it and wrapped it under his shoulder with his hand. I nodded and rand my hands through his hair and rubbed his scalp. He sighed again and fell back to sleep. I looked over at the clock, not stopping my hands. It was one a.m., and I’d have to e up in four hours to start working in the kitchen.

I pulled my arm out from under him and covered him with the blanket at the en of the e. I sighed and rue my hands together for a few minutes, trying to relieve the tension that had built up. I crawled under my own covers and laid my head on the pillow, staring at Jimmy. My eyes slowly drew close, listening to the sounds of my doctor snoring.