So the Season's Changed Your Face

friend /frend/ noun
1. A person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations
2. A person who is not an enemy or who is on the same side
3. A familiar or helpful thing
4. A person who goes out of their way to piss you the fuck off, thus making you want to rip your eyes out
5. Mike Carden
6. Actually no, not Mike Carden.