The Best Mistake

Nash.

I decided to take up Ashlyn’s offer on a set of clean clothes. Even I couldn’t deny how bad I smelt; the mixture of alcohol and sweat didn’t work well together. As I was taking in her room- I didn’t really see it that well the other night- and I was quite surprised at the band posters on her wall, when my eyes fell on a picture sitting on top of the TV. I leaned a little closer and noticed that it was a little girl- maybe 6 or 7 at the most- and an older man. I could definitely tell the little girl was Ashlyn- her blue eyes were the same and there was the same freckle on her chin- and the older guy looked a lot like her, so I could only assume it was her dad. I was so focused on the picture; I slightly jumped when I heard the door fly open.

“Ashy! Rory won’t-“ The little boy stopped when he saw me. He tilted his head to the side and made a face. “Who are you?”

It took me a few seconds to respond. I mean, I hadn’t been around little kids in awhile; since Eric left when I was twelve. And this kid definitely reminded me of Eric. I hadn’t seen Eric in person since he was two, but Carrie was good with sending pictures. And even though Eric’s curly brown hair, bright blue eyes and freckles didn’t resemble this kid with short blond hair, brown eyes and clear skin, they both shared the same innocent look that every kid had.

“Are you deaf?” the little boy asked. I chuckled at how serious and curious he sounded.

I chuckled. “No,” I said, slowly. “My name’s Nash.”

Suddenly the kid’s eyes lit up. “That sounds like Ash!” he said, sounding like he’d made the world’s biggest discovery. “My name’s Alex, I’m seven years old!”

“Wow, you’re getting old,” I said sarcastically, as I chuckled. But when he beamed, I started biting the inside of my lip, ignoring the aching feeling in my chest.

“I know!” he gushed. “One day, I’ll be bigger than Ashy and Rory and even daddy!”

Ashlyn.

“I know!” Alex gushed after Nash told him he was getting old. “One day, I’ll be bigger than Ashy and Rory and even daddy!”

I noticed Nash’s half smile then. It looked real- like it had when he was on the phone a little bit ago- but it also looked pained. This only made me all the more curious.

Nash’s eyes shifted from Alex to me and the smile dropped, his face losing any emotion it had held. “Those for me?” he asked, nodding to the clothes in my hands. Alex spun around and saw me, his eyes lighting up.

“Ashy!” he said, running and hugging my legs. “Have you met Nash? He said I’m getting old! And his name sounds like yours!”

I smiled. “Yeah, I’ve met him,” I said. “How about you go play with your Power Rangers and I’ll be there in a little bit?”

Alex grinned widely. “Will you play with me?” he said, his eyes wide and begging.

I sighed. “In a little bit, yes,” I said.

“Yay, thank you!” he said, squeezing my legs. He turned around to Nash. “Will you play too?”

Nash just blankly looked at the seven year old for a couple seconds. When I went to open my mouth and answer for him, he cut me off. “If I have time, I will,” he said.

Alex’s grin got even bigger, which I didn’t realize was possible. Finally, he ran out of the room. “Um, yeah, these are for you,” I said, holding the clothes out to him.

He snatched them from my hand before going into the bathroom and shutting the door loudly.

Nash.

I quickly stripped my clothes off. I had pulled the sweat pants halfway up my hips when I’d mistakenly looked in the mirror. And once I did, I couldn’t look away. My black eye had faded a little- it never hurt much in the first place, anyway. But on each side of my neck, were fresh bruises in the shape of a monster’s hands. There was a huge bandage on my left side from the little mishap a couple weeks ago, but the bruises and small scratches weren’t able to be hidden by the bandage.

Suddenly visions from years ago filled my head. Her lifeless body lying on the ground; His hateful eyes and sick smile advancing toward me; a baby’s crying from the upstairs. I fell to the ground with my eyes squeezed shut and my hands balled up in fists, shoving them into my skull; trying to get rid of the memories. But they just kept coming. Your fault, the voice screamed. You could’ve saved her.

Ashlyn.

I jumped when I heard something fall in the bathroom. I didn’t have anything heavy in my bathroom and the thump was too loud for it to be just a shampoo bottle. So I walked over to the bathroom before hesitantly knocking on the door. “Nash? You okay?” No answer. I heard heavy breathing from the other side, but there was no voice answering my question. “Nash?” Once again, no answer. I slowly opened the door. “Nash?” My eyes widened a little when I saw Nash sitting on the ground, with his head buried in his knees. It didn’t seem like he was ignoring me; it seemed like he hadn’t noticed me. “Nash, what’s wrong?” I asked, gently shaking him by his upper arm. But within seconds, I was pushed up against the wall with his grip on my shoulders. A really, really strong grip, too- and it hurt. “Nash?” I managed to squeak out.

Something crossed his face and his hold on me suddenly loosened. He started gnawing at one of his lip rings. “I-I gotta go,” he said. His voice wasn’t harsh or angry or hateful- he sounded vulnerable. He turned to walk out of the bathroom.

Without my permission, my arm shot out and grabbed his wrist tightly. I opened my mouth to say something when his wrist snatched out of my hand and- for the third time this week- Nash Carter had me pushed up against the wall.

Only this time, his lips were urgently pressed against mine.