The Best Mistake

Nash.

I couldn’t help but give Ashlyn one last kiss before she went to answer her phone. I leaned my head against the wall, closing my eyes. I couldn’t believe what this girl did to me. I opened up to her so quickly and I felt odd whenever I was around her. I felt incredible, yet I felt worthless all at the same time. How the hell does that even happen?

I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard Levi’s name. Since when do him and Ashlyn call each other? I gave her a confused look, but she just continued talking. “Hi. What's up?... Yeah, he got here last night not long after I talked to you.” What the fuck? How often do they talk? “Mmhm… Sure.” She walked over to me and held her phone out to me. I took it. “Hello?”

“Nash? Where the fuck were you last night?” Levi asked.

“Nowhere. I was nowhere,” I said, quickly.

“Yeah, right,” he said, snorting. “Was it your dad? What happened?”

“Look, I’ll talk to you about it later,” I said.

“Did you tell Ashlyn?”

“Not really. This is why we’ll continue this conversation. Later,” I said in a final tone.

“Not really?” he repeated. “Fine, fine. But Eric called this morning. He’s wondering why you haven’t called him in awhile.”

“Fuck. Okay, I’ll call him back now. Later,” I said, hanging up. I looked at Ashlyn, who was looking at my curiously. I smiled slightly. “Care to speak to my brother?”

"Y-your brother?" I asked.

"Yes," he said slowly. "I haven't called him in a few days and that's forever to him. So if I could use your phone..."

"Of course," I said. "Of course you can."

"Thanks." He pushed a few buttons and then stared at my phone hesitantly for a few seconds, before pressing a few more buttons. It was when I heard the ringing loudly that told me it was on speaker phone.

"Nash, you don't have to-" He shushed me, before tugging on my wrist and making me sit next to him.

"Hello?" A light, female voice came from the phone.

"Hey, it's Nash," he said, a happiness in his voice I've never heard.

"Hello, Nash. How are you?" the woman asked.

"I'm okay, you?"

"I'm fantastic. You have Eric worrying out of his mind, you know."

Nash frowned. "Yeah, I'm sorry. I've been.. caught up in things."

"Oh, I've told him that countless of times. But he automatically assumes that when you don't call and you aren't with Levi, you'll forget about him and such. I tell him it's nonsense, but he's pretty hardheaded; almost as much as you."

Nash chuckled. "Right. Can I talk to Eric?" he asked, chewing on his lip.

"Of course," she said. "Although he's playing that Call of Duty game you've got him obsessed with, we should have no problem getting him on the phone with you. Hold on."

"Call of Duty? Your eight year old brother?" I asked, laughing lightly. "How violent."

Nash grinned, although it looked forced. "Runs in the family," he said. Somehow I felt there was more than just four words in his sentence, though.

"Nash?!" A boyish, high-pitched voice said into the phone. It reminded me a lot of Alex's, only Alex sounded a little more girly.

Nash's smile confirmed that it was his brother before his words did. "Yeah, Eric. What's up?" he asked.

"I'm playing Call of Duty!" he said excitedly, but his tone changed quickly. "But why haven't you called? I thought you forgot all about me..."

"Hey, I could never forget about you," Nash said softly. "I've been busy, bud. But I'm sorry."

"It's okay!" he said, his excited tone returning to his voice. I was so into listening to the conversation that I barely felt Nash lace his other hand through mine. I smiled, leaning my head against his shoulder. "Guess what happened in school today!" I closed my eyes, listening to Eric go into a story about him spilling milk on a girl in his class. Somewhere, between his story and Nash stroking the back of my hand with his thumb, I fell asleep.

Nash.

I had taken the phone off speaker once I heard Ashlyn's soft snores in my ear. As Eric went into great detail of him spilling milk on some girl in his class, who cried and starting throwing crayons everywhere, my mind wandered. At this very moment, life was good. Great, even. There was the girl I had feelings for obviously returned them and then my brother was here. I was happy. But that was only fantasy life; the one that I couldn't- and never would- have.

In real life, my brother wasn't here; he was two hours away. In real life, yes, I had feelings for Ashlyn and she returned them; but it was impossible for us to be together. Her putting up with my bullshit is enough to show that I wasn't good enough for her; she deserved better. In real life, I wasn't normally happy. In real life, the only things that make me feel happy? I couldn't have. And it sucked. Really bad.