If I Was Your Boyfriend

Justin’s Point of View

She’s gone once again. Through all of the crap I did she’s stuck with me and this is how I repay her. I didn’t mean what I said. Her problems are my problems in the same way that my problems are her problems. She didn’t make me none of the stupid, reckless things I did. We were always in this together. Thick and thin – good or bad. It was me and Chrissy, always.

I pull out my phone to call her before immediately putting it down. She left half an hour ago, there’s no way that she would forgive me already. Instead I take the stash of weed that she threw at me and drop it right in the toilet. I’m sure to take a picture before sending it away forever.

Don’t feel obligated to talk to me right now. I’m just showing you that I’m done with this for good. I don’t like who I am with it and I hate the thought of disappointing you and my family. I’m sorry for the words that I said; I didn’t mean any of it. I hope you’re okay and that I didn’t hurt you again. I love you so much. – Justin.

After sending the message to Chrissy I decided to go to my Roman's and pick up Rocky before my mom made it back to fiancé to tell him about my choice of words. I knock on the door then wait for a few moments before Roman ushers me inside. Rocky immediately howls happily jumping around my legs. I silence his whines by picking him up into my arms.

‘I missed you too buddy.’ I laugh grabbing rubbing Rocky’s large head, ‘Are you gonna miss him?’

‘Although, Rocky is a good housemate I think I’ll be able to manage.’ Roman jokes handing over Rocky’s bed and chew toy. ‘I heard about what happened…’ – of course you did. The whole world has heard about what happened by now I’m sure. ‘I’m not going to lecture you because I’m sure that’s the last thing you need to here right now. You’re a smart guy, and you admit to your mistakes. I just want you to know that I’m here, if you want to talk.’

‘Thanks Roman. I have a lot of stuff to do since I came back so I better get going.’ I break away from the conversation before he has the chance to grill me or before my mom walks into the house and slaps me with her purse.

‘Of course, I’ll see you two around. Take care.’

‘You too.’ I reposition Rocky in my arms before carrying him back out to the car. ‘Listen Rocky those are very expensive leather seats you’re sitting on right now. Do not scratch them, okay?’ I address the absentminded dog. ‘Or you can just sleep. Like you are right now. Same old Rock.’ I shake my head as Rocky already makes himself comfortable in his dog bed in the small, cramped backseat.

I drive around Calabasas not wanting to go to an empty apartment that awaited me. It was getting late and the sun was retiring for the night. Rocky’s snores were the only sound in the small car but somehow they were just what I needed right now.

“Incoming call. Press the pickup button to answer” my Bluetooth chimes into the peaceful silence. Chrissy.

‘Hello?’ I answer instantly, eager to hear her voice.

‘Hey, you have Rocky with you?’

‘Yeah I just got him from Ramon’s. Do you want me to bring him by?’

‘No, no. Maybe you could just keep him for a few days and then we do a trade off or something.’ She suggests hesitantly.

‘Oh, right.’ I clear my throat, feeling that nagging lump that rested heavily. ‘That’s what we’ll do then. I’ll see you in a couple of days.’

‘Bye Justin.’

‘I love you.’

‘Love you too.’ With that the line goes dead.

‘I missed up with mommy real bad, pal.’ I sigh leaning my head against the headrest, ‘time to mend some fences.’

Chrissy’s Point of View

After my phone call with Justin I go to Danielle’s house to avoid any more questions from my mom or Jeff. Danielle’s mom smiles warmly as she tells me to go on back to her room. With one knock I rush in to see my best friend that I haven’t seen in months.

‘Chrissy!’ she beams just as excited as me, ‘What on earth are you doing here?’

‘I missed you!’

‘I missed you so much!’ Danielle squeezes me tight enough where I feel the baby kick against my stomach.

‘He kicked me!’ I move away take in Danielle’s swollen belly.

‘She.’ Danielle corrects, ‘It’s a girl. We just found out this morning.’

‘You were so sure it was a boy!’

‘Now I’m having my very own little princess that I can dress up in all sorts of cute things. You should hear Garrett. He’s already declaring war against any boys that try to come near her.’

‘How many more months do you have left?’

‘A little over three.’

‘Are you nervous?’

‘Every day it becomes that much more real and every day I get that much more terrified. Honestly, none of this feels real. Some days I’ll pass the mirror and just stare at this huge stomach bulging out. I don’t think it’s going to sink in until we’re at the hospital.’

‘Speaking of the soon to be father, how is Garrett doing? I was hoping to run into both of you. I miss him too.’

‘He’s good, really good. He’s working. His dad gave him a job at their company and he’s already surpassed any expectation. With all of his sales his dad forgets how pissed he is at him for a few hours.’

‘It’s still that bad, huh?’

‘It’s bearable. We’re trying to save up for our own place but there’s so much stuff to get for the baby. There’s so much stuff she has to have and she’s coming so soon. Garrett tells me not stress over it but I can’t help it.’ She frowns placing a protective hand over her stomach, ‘I want her to have everything she needs. I want her to be taken care of. I don’t want her to grow up resenting the fact that she has young parents.’

‘Breathe.’ I coo, placing my hands on her shoulders. ‘You are not in this alone. You have Garrett, your family, me. It’s going to be okay Dani, I promise.’

‘I’m sorry. You didn’t come all the way here to listen to my many problems.’

‘Believe me, I’d rather listen to your problems than think about my own.’

‘Yeah I saw what happened. How is Justin?’

‘He’s okay I guess. We’re not really talking at this very moment. We got into this argument – words were said. I just ran away from the fight and I left.’

‘When did our lives become so complicated? Remember how we’d have actual sleepovers? And I mean the real ones, there wasn’t any drama just Leonardo DiCaprio on that small TV in the den.’

‘I miss that so much.’ I sigh lying back on her bed, ‘those were the days.’

I’ve done just one movie now, hanging on to the second. I’ve toured with Justin for the summer. I’m not what I would consider a “celebrity” but I do miss the simpler times. When I could run around with my best friend without it showing up on the news. I could talk to anyone without second-guessing myself or preplanning a response in my head. I could lie around all day without any obligations or responsibility. Sure, there wasn’t any Justin in my life but there wasn’t any deranged psychopath in my life that stalked my every move either. I was just Chrissy and no one cared. And sure, I didn’t have the incredible opportunities that I have now but I also wasn’t stressing over something different every day. Yes, I know there’s hundreds of people that care about me along with the thousands that can’t to see me fall. Being Chrissy Thorton came with dozens of pros and another dozen cons.

‘What are you thinking about, Chris?’

‘Do you want to have a sleepover with me?’