If I Was Your Boyfriend
one hundred fifty-eight.
Chrissy’s Point of View
‘Happy Thanksgiving!’ My mom pulls me into the house immediately wrapping me in a tight hug. ‘It feels like I haven’t seen my little girl in so long and you’re in the same city!’
‘I’m sorry for being so distant, I’ve missed you.’ I smile moving over to Jeff, my mom’s fiancé. ‘How are you guys doing?’
‘Good, it’s so nice to have you around again. Are you ready to eat?’
‘Not yet! We’re waiting on your father and the kids. Jeff’s family’s also coming over too so you two out. Go get everything ready.’
Jeff coughs out a playful scoff before flopping back down on the sofa to watch his football game. I go up to my old room to study its emptiness. I moved out a couple of months ago and hadn’t been up here since. My mom had everything still in its place with a fresh thing of sheets folded at the foot of the bed. Rocky’s cage sat in the corner of the room. I touch the thin, cold metal bars missing him. Just a few more weeks until Justin would be dropping Rocky off.
‘Chris, can you come down here for a minute?’ My mom calls out at the bottom of the staircase.
I take one more glance around the room before closing the door behind me. My mom stood at the base of the stairs with an unreadable expression on her face. I could tell that she had news, that I wasn’t going to like. She opens her mouth before closing it again.
‘What is it?’
‘Well I’m not sure how you feel about this but, Pattie and Roman are coming over for dinner too.’
‘Is that all?’
‘I’m not sure about Justin. Pattie hasn’t spoken to him in a few weeks. I just wanted to let you know that his mom would be here.’
‘Okay.’
Within the hour the house was filled with family and friends everywhere. I could hear the many different conversations taking place throughout the house. My dad walks in with his three children: Audrey, Alyssa, and Dustin. The cancer had definitely taken a toll on him. His cheeks were slightly
‘Is that all?’
‘I’m not sure about Justin. Pattie hasn’t spoken to him in a few weeks. I just wanted to let you know that his mom would be here.’
‘Okay.’
Within the hour the house was filled with family and friends everywhere. I could hear the many different conversations taking place throughout the house. My dad walks in with his three children: Audrey, Alyssa, and Dustin. The cancer had definitely taken a toll on him. His cheeks were slightly sunk in and he walked that much slower. Doctors weren’t sure just how much time he had left so we made the most of what we had.
‘Hi sunshine,’ he gives me the brightest smile snatching me into his arms, ‘what did you do to your hair?’ he questions.
I glance over my shoulder, my hair falling just at my shoulders. After breaking up with Justin I wanted to do something spontaneous and out of character. I thought about getting a tattoo but ended up chickened out at the last minute so somehow I ended up at my stylist. I told her that I wanted some fresh and new.
‘Do you not like it?’
‘No, no. I love it Chris. I just haven’t seen your hair this short since you were little. You look great.’
‘Can I cut my hair like Chrissy’s daddy?’ Audrey chimes clapping her hands together to plead with our dad.
‘Me too, daddy.’ Alyssa chimes in with her sister.
‘I think that you’ll have to discuss that with your mother girls.’
I remember when the news of my father’s condition broke. My half-siblings hated me, actually blamed me for it. After having a talk with my dad, they slowly started to open up to me a few weeks later. The door opens and I feel my body tense up dramatically. I inhale a deep breath trying to find the courage to look towards the door. Pattie strolls in with her arm wrapped around Roman and a dish wrapped with aluminum foil in her other hand. A part of me is relieved when they close the door signaling no one being behind them. On the other hand, I couldn’t help but wonder if Justin wasn’t with Pattie for Thanksgiving, where was he?
‘Excuse me, dad.’ I snake my way through a couple of my family members to get the dish from Pattie. ‘Welcome!’
‘Chrissy, it’s been so long. How are you? You look gorgeous!’ Pattie speaks in a hurry throwing an arm around me. ‘I love what you’ve done with your hair.’
‘Thank you, how have you two been?’
Pattie and Roman follow me into the kitchen so they could get something to drink. I open my mouth just to close it again. I felt an urgent need to ask about Justin but I didn’t want to be the one who seemed eager.
‘Where is Justin spending Thanksgiving this year?’ I hear myself ask before I have an opportunity to take the words back.
‘He’s with friends this year.’ Pattie answers with a polite smile, ‘are you two still not on speaking terms?’
‘I guess not.’ I shrug before excusing myself before heading up to my room.
I knew that I was the one who decided to end things with Justin but I couldn’t help but feel like he was handling things much better than I was. Just thinking about Justin made my heart swell so tightly that it hurt. I couldn’t make it through a full day without tears running down my face unwillingly. I lost count of the times that I stare at his number on my phone fighting my emotions while debating on calling him. I couldn’t get past him – I couldn’t stop thinking about him. It’s been over three months. No matter what I did or how hard I tried I couldn’t get over him.
‘Chrissy, it’s time to eat!’ Audrey and Alyssa burst into the room in a rush.
‘Okay.’ I sniffle wiping the bitter tear from my cheek, ‘I’m coming.’
‘Daddy told us that you and Justin aren’t boyfriend and girlfriend any more.’ Alyssa chimes offering me a supportive smile.
‘No, we’re not.’ I reply quietly following them down the stairs to join everyone else scattered throughout the house. I grab a plate and begin filling up with my favorite things. I knew exactly what my mom cooked versus specialty dishes brought by family and friends. I steered clear of my aunt Dina’s baked Brussel sprout casserole and Jeff’s sister’s artichoke dip. Slowly but surely everyone started to leave. After helping with dishes, I say goodbye to my mom and make plans to hang out with my dad before he goes back to Arizona before heading back to my apartment. As much as I hated it, I wondered how Justin was spending Thanksgiving.
Justin’s Point of View
I stare at the string of words my mom sent me in a text this morning. Chrissy’s family was having some kind of Thanksgiving get together and we were invited. Somehow I ended up in front of Chrissy’s house debating whether or not to go inside. The last thing I wanted to do was make it any of this uncomfortable for Chrissy. I couldn’t just show up on Thanksgiving day and eat turkey with her family. We weren’t together anymore. As much as I wanted to be, we weren’t. I throw my head with frustration back before walking to the blacked out Range Rover and climbing inside. Before I could even pull of Chrissy’s street I decide to call up a few people and invite them over to the house. Jayde, a girl I had been hanging out with for a few months was eager to drop her family and rush over. I knew that I was ultimately leading Jayde on but I couldn’t help it. It wasn’t right but she temporarily filled the void that only Chrissy could fit. Deep down, I kind of knew that she was using me for my name and status but I was okay with it. Rocky greets me as soon as my feet make it into the house. I was counting down the days that I would drop him off at Chrissy’s house just so I could see her again. I hadn’t seen her in over a month and it was unbearable. I wanted more than anything to hold her in my arms once again and never let her go. I wanted to tell her how much I screwed up and how I would do anything to win her respect again. I just needed my girlfriend back. The doorbell rings crashing into my thoughts. Until I got her back – this would have to do.
‘Happy Thanksgiving!’ My mom pulls me into the house immediately wrapping me in a tight hug. ‘It feels like I haven’t seen my little girl in so long and you’re in the same city!’
‘I’m sorry for being so distant, I’ve missed you.’ I smile moving over to Jeff, my mom’s fiancé. ‘How are you guys doing?’
‘Good, it’s so nice to have you around again. Are you ready to eat?’
‘Not yet! We’re waiting on your father and the kids. Jeff’s family’s also coming over too so you two out. Go get everything ready.’
Jeff coughs out a playful scoff before flopping back down on the sofa to watch his football game. I go up to my old room to study its emptiness. I moved out a couple of months ago and hadn’t been up here since. My mom had everything still in its place with a fresh thing of sheets folded at the foot of the bed. Rocky’s cage sat in the corner of the room. I touch the thin, cold metal bars missing him. Just a few more weeks until Justin would be dropping Rocky off.
‘Chris, can you come down here for a minute?’ My mom calls out at the bottom of the staircase.
I take one more glance around the room before closing the door behind me. My mom stood at the base of the stairs with an unreadable expression on her face. I could tell that she had news, that I wasn’t going to like. She opens her mouth before closing it again.
‘What is it?’
‘Well I’m not sure how you feel about this but, Pattie and Roman are coming over for dinner too.’
‘Is that all?’
‘I’m not sure about Justin. Pattie hasn’t spoken to him in a few weeks. I just wanted to let you know that his mom would be here.’
‘Okay.’
Within the hour the house was filled with family and friends everywhere. I could hear the many different conversations taking place throughout the house. My dad walks in with his three children: Audrey, Alyssa, and Dustin. The cancer had definitely taken a toll on him. His cheeks were slightly
‘Is that all?’
‘I’m not sure about Justin. Pattie hasn’t spoken to him in a few weeks. I just wanted to let you know that his mom would be here.’
‘Okay.’
Within the hour the house was filled with family and friends everywhere. I could hear the many different conversations taking place throughout the house. My dad walks in with his three children: Audrey, Alyssa, and Dustin. The cancer had definitely taken a toll on him. His cheeks were slightly sunk in and he walked that much slower. Doctors weren’t sure just how much time he had left so we made the most of what we had.
‘Hi sunshine,’ he gives me the brightest smile snatching me into his arms, ‘what did you do to your hair?’ he questions.
I glance over my shoulder, my hair falling just at my shoulders. After breaking up with Justin I wanted to do something spontaneous and out of character. I thought about getting a tattoo but ended up chickened out at the last minute so somehow I ended up at my stylist. I told her that I wanted some fresh and new.
‘Do you not like it?’
‘No, no. I love it Chris. I just haven’t seen your hair this short since you were little. You look great.’
‘Can I cut my hair like Chrissy’s daddy?’ Audrey chimes clapping her hands together to plead with our dad.
‘Me too, daddy.’ Alyssa chimes in with her sister.
‘I think that you’ll have to discuss that with your mother girls.’
I remember when the news of my father’s condition broke. My half-siblings hated me, actually blamed me for it. After having a talk with my dad, they slowly started to open up to me a few weeks later. The door opens and I feel my body tense up dramatically. I inhale a deep breath trying to find the courage to look towards the door. Pattie strolls in with her arm wrapped around Roman and a dish wrapped with aluminum foil in her other hand. A part of me is relieved when they close the door signaling no one being behind them. On the other hand, I couldn’t help but wonder if Justin wasn’t with Pattie for Thanksgiving, where was he?
‘Excuse me, dad.’ I snake my way through a couple of my family members to get the dish from Pattie. ‘Welcome!’
‘Chrissy, it’s been so long. How are you? You look gorgeous!’ Pattie speaks in a hurry throwing an arm around me. ‘I love what you’ve done with your hair.’
‘Thank you, how have you two been?’
Pattie and Roman follow me into the kitchen so they could get something to drink. I open my mouth just to close it again. I felt an urgent need to ask about Justin but I didn’t want to be the one who seemed eager.
‘Where is Justin spending Thanksgiving this year?’ I hear myself ask before I have an opportunity to take the words back.
‘He’s with friends this year.’ Pattie answers with a polite smile, ‘are you two still not on speaking terms?’
‘I guess not.’ I shrug before excusing myself before heading up to my room.
I knew that I was the one who decided to end things with Justin but I couldn’t help but feel like he was handling things much better than I was. Just thinking about Justin made my heart swell so tightly that it hurt. I couldn’t make it through a full day without tears running down my face unwillingly. I lost count of the times that I stare at his number on my phone fighting my emotions while debating on calling him. I couldn’t get past him – I couldn’t stop thinking about him. It’s been over three months. No matter what I did or how hard I tried I couldn’t get over him.
‘Chrissy, it’s time to eat!’ Audrey and Alyssa burst into the room in a rush.
‘Okay.’ I sniffle wiping the bitter tear from my cheek, ‘I’m coming.’
‘Daddy told us that you and Justin aren’t boyfriend and girlfriend any more.’ Alyssa chimes offering me a supportive smile.
‘No, we’re not.’ I reply quietly following them down the stairs to join everyone else scattered throughout the house. I grab a plate and begin filling up with my favorite things. I knew exactly what my mom cooked versus specialty dishes brought by family and friends. I steered clear of my aunt Dina’s baked Brussel sprout casserole and Jeff’s sister’s artichoke dip. Slowly but surely everyone started to leave. After helping with dishes, I say goodbye to my mom and make plans to hang out with my dad before he goes back to Arizona before heading back to my apartment. As much as I hated it, I wondered how Justin was spending Thanksgiving.
Justin’s Point of View
I stare at the string of words my mom sent me in a text this morning. Chrissy’s family was having some kind of Thanksgiving get together and we were invited. Somehow I ended up in front of Chrissy’s house debating whether or not to go inside. The last thing I wanted to do was make it any of this uncomfortable for Chrissy. I couldn’t just show up on Thanksgiving day and eat turkey with her family. We weren’t together anymore. As much as I wanted to be, we weren’t. I throw my head with frustration back before walking to the blacked out Range Rover and climbing inside. Before I could even pull of Chrissy’s street I decide to call up a few people and invite them over to the house. Jayde, a girl I had been hanging out with for a few months was eager to drop her family and rush over. I knew that I was ultimately leading Jayde on but I couldn’t help it. It wasn’t right but she temporarily filled the void that only Chrissy could fit. Deep down, I kind of knew that she was using me for my name and status but I was okay with it. Rocky greets me as soon as my feet make it into the house. I was counting down the days that I would drop him off at Chrissy’s house just so I could see her again. I hadn’t seen her in over a month and it was unbearable. I wanted more than anything to hold her in my arms once again and never let her go. I wanted to tell her how much I screwed up and how I would do anything to win her respect again. I just needed my girlfriend back. The doorbell rings crashing into my thoughts. Until I got her back – this would have to do.