If I Was Your Boyfriend
one hundred sixty-four.
As Justin’s napping, I grab one of his shirts from a drawer and slip into it. Along with Rocky, I walk down the stairs to get something to drink from the kitchen. Rocky roams Justin’s private, expansive backyard happily running back and forth. The moment I go to the refrigerator someone rings Justin’s doorbell. Hesitantly, I slid over to the door glancing back at Rocky in the backyard once more.
‘Oh, hi, I’m looking for Justin.’ Some blonde blinks, clearly stunned by my presence at Justin’s house.
‘Right,’ I nod awkwardly, ‘I will definitely let him know that you’re here. Come in. What was your name?’
‘Hailey.’ She speaks, her lips in a tight line.
When I make it up to the room, Justin is rubbing his eyes as he gets out of his bed. His hair was sprawled messily over his head as a sleepy smile plays on his face. I bite back a smile as he makes his way over to me, with extended arms.
‘I have missed seeing you in my shirts.’ He grins taking my hand in his.
‘There’s someone at the door for you – she said her name was Hailey.’ I speak stepping aside, allowing him easy access to the door. I watch soundlessly as the realization sets in – he knew exactly who she was.
While Justin heads downstairs, I fold up the shirt I was wearing and slip it back into the drawer. I find my clothes scattered around on the floor and quickly put them back on. As I’m getting dressed I could hear Hailey raise her voice, clearly displeased with me being here. My stomach swells with discomfort as I look at the messy sheets, thinking about what Justin and I just did. How many girls were in this room? In this bed? With him, doing exactly what we just did. I take one deep breath before slowly walking down the spiral staircase to leave. Hailey slams the door, leaving me and Justin alone. His eyebrows furrow with confusion as I grab my purse from the sofa along with my phone.
‘Wait, what are you doing?’ he rushes over grabbing a hold of my arm to pull me aside.
‘This wasn’t a good idea.’
‘Ouch,’ Justin runs a hand on the back of his neck clearly uncomfortable, ‘that is definitely not what any one wants to hear after what we just did.’
‘I’m sorry, I think we both got ahead of ourselves up there. Things are already complicated; we may have just complicated them more.’
‘Is this about Hailey? I swear that it doesn’t mean anything. It’s over and it has been for awhile.’
‘We need to figure this out before we go any further with this.’ I swallow, stepping away from Justin.
‘I don’t understand how we can “work” this out when you keep dragging me back and forth with this weird mind game! I can’t keep up with you Chrissy. Do you want me or don’t you? I want you – you know that.’ With that, just like Ben, Justin storms off upstairs leaving me all by myself with my thoughts.
I get a hold of Rocky then head out to my car, leaving Justin’s house. I had two guys made at me, both demanding answers. My head aches as I try to make sense of it all. I wanted to be with Justin again, I never wanted to break up. I was scared. If Justin and I got back together I didn’t want things to be the way they were before we broke up. With Ben, there were no worries. He was this nice, sweet guy who cared about me. We had fun together. Justin and I had fun too, of course. My thoughts were interrupted by the doorman of my building, Harmon standing outside my door to greet me.
‘Welcome back, Miss. Chrissy. How are you tonight?’
‘I’m doing good thank you Harmon.’ I speak as the valet slides into my car to drive it to the back. ‘See you later.’
Rocky immediately retreats to the bedroom to get in his bed in the corner of the room, leaving me in the living room alone. I flop on the sofa, ordering takeout while trying to find something on-demand to watch. Guilt washes over me as I stare at my recent call list. Justin. Ben. The needed answers so they could move on with their lives. I couldn’t make them wait for me. The takeout quickly arrives only to sit on the table while I pace back and forth through my living room. Justin or Ben. Ben or Justin. Justin or Ben. Ben or Justin. I glance at the clock on the wall, 9:32 P.M. I had time. I needed to tell him before it was too late.
‘I’ll be back Rock.’ I call, rushing out to the elevator. ‘Hi, Harmon – could you have my car brought around again.’
‘Of course ma’am, right away.’ Harmon nods with a warm smile.
The entire time I’m driving, my heart swells with anxiety and excitement. I impatiently tap at the steering wheel at red lights. I slip in and out of lanes, trying to get there as soon as I can. I was hoping that he was home and would hear what I had to say. I pull into the driveway and nervously walk up to the door pressing the doorbell. I gulp as the door gradually opens.
‘Hi, I was really hoping that we could talk.’’ I murmur running my sweaty palms on my jeans.
‘Sure, come in.’ Ben nods stepping back after clearing his throat.
Justin’s Point of View
The doorbell rings as I’m sitting in the newly installed theater, making sure everything works okay after they spent hours in here yesterday. I check the security footage as I pass the kitchen area making my way to the front door.
‘Hello, it’ll be 11.32.’ the guy speaks pulling my pizza out of his protected bag. ‘Would you like some cheese or peppers?’
‘Both would be good.’ I pull a twenty out of my wallet and tell him to keep the change before closing the door. With a sigh I go back into the theater room, wondering if I was too harsh with Chrissy earlier. I just want her to pick me. I’m tired of being in this house alone. I miss waking up beside her. I miss watching movies with her only to see her sleep half-way in. I miss messing with her as she watched one of her favorite shows. I miss spending time with her. I just miss her. After finishing off over half of the pizza by myself, I head upstairs to my empty room feeling alone. I scroll through my contacts wondering who I should invite over to keep me company. Jayde – god no. Hailey – I pissed her off earlier. Every single person in my contacts – no. I wanted to call Chrissy and talk about earlier but I was worried she wouldn’t even accept the call. How did this all get so messed up? The doorbell rings unexpectedly catching me off-guard. It was nearly eleven at night so who could be showing up unannounced? I jog down the stairs and over to the door pulling it open curiously.
‘Hey. What are you doing here?’ I wonder quickly moving out the way to let Chrissy inside.
‘I want you too, Justin.’ Was all I heard before she wraps her arms around me, filling that annoying void that I’ve tried so desperately to erase for the last eight months. I wrap my arms around her, tighter than ever before, never wanting to let her leave my side again.
‘Oh, hi, I’m looking for Justin.’ Some blonde blinks, clearly stunned by my presence at Justin’s house.
‘Right,’ I nod awkwardly, ‘I will definitely let him know that you’re here. Come in. What was your name?’
‘Hailey.’ She speaks, her lips in a tight line.
When I make it up to the room, Justin is rubbing his eyes as he gets out of his bed. His hair was sprawled messily over his head as a sleepy smile plays on his face. I bite back a smile as he makes his way over to me, with extended arms.
‘I have missed seeing you in my shirts.’ He grins taking my hand in his.
‘There’s someone at the door for you – she said her name was Hailey.’ I speak stepping aside, allowing him easy access to the door. I watch soundlessly as the realization sets in – he knew exactly who she was.
While Justin heads downstairs, I fold up the shirt I was wearing and slip it back into the drawer. I find my clothes scattered around on the floor and quickly put them back on. As I’m getting dressed I could hear Hailey raise her voice, clearly displeased with me being here. My stomach swells with discomfort as I look at the messy sheets, thinking about what Justin and I just did. How many girls were in this room? In this bed? With him, doing exactly what we just did. I take one deep breath before slowly walking down the spiral staircase to leave. Hailey slams the door, leaving me and Justin alone. His eyebrows furrow with confusion as I grab my purse from the sofa along with my phone.
‘Wait, what are you doing?’ he rushes over grabbing a hold of my arm to pull me aside.
‘This wasn’t a good idea.’
‘Ouch,’ Justin runs a hand on the back of his neck clearly uncomfortable, ‘that is definitely not what any one wants to hear after what we just did.’
‘I’m sorry, I think we both got ahead of ourselves up there. Things are already complicated; we may have just complicated them more.’
‘Is this about Hailey? I swear that it doesn’t mean anything. It’s over and it has been for awhile.’
‘We need to figure this out before we go any further with this.’ I swallow, stepping away from Justin.
‘I don’t understand how we can “work” this out when you keep dragging me back and forth with this weird mind game! I can’t keep up with you Chrissy. Do you want me or don’t you? I want you – you know that.’ With that, just like Ben, Justin storms off upstairs leaving me all by myself with my thoughts.
I get a hold of Rocky then head out to my car, leaving Justin’s house. I had two guys made at me, both demanding answers. My head aches as I try to make sense of it all. I wanted to be with Justin again, I never wanted to break up. I was scared. If Justin and I got back together I didn’t want things to be the way they were before we broke up. With Ben, there were no worries. He was this nice, sweet guy who cared about me. We had fun together. Justin and I had fun too, of course. My thoughts were interrupted by the doorman of my building, Harmon standing outside my door to greet me.
‘Welcome back, Miss. Chrissy. How are you tonight?’
‘I’m doing good thank you Harmon.’ I speak as the valet slides into my car to drive it to the back. ‘See you later.’
Rocky immediately retreats to the bedroom to get in his bed in the corner of the room, leaving me in the living room alone. I flop on the sofa, ordering takeout while trying to find something on-demand to watch. Guilt washes over me as I stare at my recent call list. Justin. Ben. The needed answers so they could move on with their lives. I couldn’t make them wait for me. The takeout quickly arrives only to sit on the table while I pace back and forth through my living room. Justin or Ben. Ben or Justin. Justin or Ben. Ben or Justin. I glance at the clock on the wall, 9:32 P.M. I had time. I needed to tell him before it was too late.
‘I’ll be back Rock.’ I call, rushing out to the elevator. ‘Hi, Harmon – could you have my car brought around again.’
‘Of course ma’am, right away.’ Harmon nods with a warm smile.
The entire time I’m driving, my heart swells with anxiety and excitement. I impatiently tap at the steering wheel at red lights. I slip in and out of lanes, trying to get there as soon as I can. I was hoping that he was home and would hear what I had to say. I pull into the driveway and nervously walk up to the door pressing the doorbell. I gulp as the door gradually opens.
‘Hi, I was really hoping that we could talk.’’ I murmur running my sweaty palms on my jeans.
‘Sure, come in.’ Ben nods stepping back after clearing his throat.
Justin’s Point of View
The doorbell rings as I’m sitting in the newly installed theater, making sure everything works okay after they spent hours in here yesterday. I check the security footage as I pass the kitchen area making my way to the front door.
‘Hello, it’ll be 11.32.’ the guy speaks pulling my pizza out of his protected bag. ‘Would you like some cheese or peppers?’
‘Both would be good.’ I pull a twenty out of my wallet and tell him to keep the change before closing the door. With a sigh I go back into the theater room, wondering if I was too harsh with Chrissy earlier. I just want her to pick me. I’m tired of being in this house alone. I miss waking up beside her. I miss watching movies with her only to see her sleep half-way in. I miss messing with her as she watched one of her favorite shows. I miss spending time with her. I just miss her. After finishing off over half of the pizza by myself, I head upstairs to my empty room feeling alone. I scroll through my contacts wondering who I should invite over to keep me company. Jayde – god no. Hailey – I pissed her off earlier. Every single person in my contacts – no. I wanted to call Chrissy and talk about earlier but I was worried she wouldn’t even accept the call. How did this all get so messed up? The doorbell rings unexpectedly catching me off-guard. It was nearly eleven at night so who could be showing up unannounced? I jog down the stairs and over to the door pulling it open curiously.
‘Hey. What are you doing here?’ I wonder quickly moving out the way to let Chrissy inside.
‘I want you too, Justin.’ Was all I heard before she wraps her arms around me, filling that annoying void that I’ve tried so desperately to erase for the last eight months. I wrap my arms around her, tighter than ever before, never wanting to let her leave my side again.