If I Was Your Boyfriend
one hundred-seventy.
I sit back in the silent room, picking at a loose thread on my jeans. Just down the hall Justin was with Scooter waiting for Jayde to show up. It was nearly three in the afternoon, the time they all agreed on.
‘It’s going to be okay. It’s going to be okay.’ I repeat quietly to myself, ‘Everything’s going to be okay.’
I thought if I said it enough times I would start to believe it myself. Justin and Scooter made plans to meet with Jayde to settle the whole paternity situation once and for all. Scooter found a doctor’s office that did non-invasive prenatal paternity tests. I didn’t know the specifics of it all but somehow they were able to compare the fetal cells and compare it to the alleged father. Justin thought that if Jayde could publicly call him out, he would do the same. He would offer to give his DNA to see if her accusations were true. Jayde apparently told Scooter that she was around three months pregnant and the test could be done after 14 weeks. My leg nervously bounces while waiting for Justin to come in with any news. I started to regret my decision to wait in here.
Justin’s Point of View
‘Will you stop pacing you’re making me nervous.’ Scooter laughs from across the room looking up from his phone, I was glad he wasn’t on the verge of losing it like I was.
Jayde was currently on her way to meet with us about getting some kind of paternity test. If this kid was actually mine, I wanted to know for sure. This had the potential to change my life forever – I couldn’t take any chances. I remember talking to Chrissy on the way over here. I could tell she was nervous, I could tell that she wasn’t saying everything she wanted to say.
“Hey Chris – if this happened to be true, would you stay with me? Please don’t think that I’m expecting you to by asking but I just wanna know where this would leave us.” I rambled on in the car, not even bringing myself to look her in the eyes.
“We’ve been through too much, with too many people to let her win.” Chrissy simply said, reaching over to hold my hand while I was driving. I knew that she was referring to Jayde but she didn’t want to be the one to say her name. “I think this is something we could work through.” Not a part of me doubted Chrissy’s feelings for me but I didn’t think she willingly wants to be someone’s stepmom right now. I mean, we’re still figuring this whole thing out – I didn’t actually think we were officially back together. Sure we had this incredible time in Belize but we never discussed it. I wasn’t ready to lose her again. I couldn’t.
The door swings open and in walks Jayde, crashing into my thoughts. I look over at Scooter who quickly shoved his phone down into his jeans to walk over to Jayde. She walks slowly, glaring at me, her stomach sticking out more than what I was used to. She was definitely pregnant but I just needed to know if the child was actually mine.
‘Jayde.’ I speak, silently nodding my head in her direction.
‘Okay, I’m here – what do you want Scooter?’ She retorts, clearly ignoring me since we didn’t end things on the best of terms. I basically cut her off completely just to work on things with Chrissy. ‘I don’t have all day for this.’ Jayde complains, while rubbing her barely-there stomach.
‘Jayde, I think we all kind of know why each of is here. You’ve been telling anyone that’ll listen that Justin is the father of your baby so we want some proof of that.’ Scooter chimes and I’m glad he was. I couldn’t stop staring at her stomach, I was at a lost of words.
‘What do you mean proof? I’m sure you saw the pictures of him walking around without a care in the world in absolutely nothing over in Bora Bora.’
My stomach turns with the mention of Bora Bora. I was starting to think that I would never live that weekend down. It was like this dark cloud that would haunt and follow me forever.
‘I think you and I both know if you’re going to go around and tell the world that Justin is the father of your child, you’ll need actual fact-based proof.’ Scooter argues while I watch wordlessly.
‘What did you have in mind?’
‘When you’re 14 weeks, we’re going to need you to take a test.’ I finally speak up eyeing Jayde from across the room, ‘We’ll settle this. If the kid is mine, I’m going to man up and accept responsibility but I need to know. So let me know.’ I speak walking out of the room, leaving her there with Scooter.
Chrissy’s Point of View
‘How’d it go?’ I practically blurt when Justin enters the room. I was sitting on pins and needles waiting for anyone to tell me how everything was going.
‘I told her that she needs to take the test in 14 weeks before I do anything.’ He speaks simply, extending a hand out to me. ‘I am so ready to get out of here.’
I happily take his hand as Justin leads the way towards the exit. Justin groans looking at the paparazzi hovering around the blacked out Range Rover.
‘Every time. I bet anything that Jayde tipped them off.’ He mutters under his breath, holding onto my hand even tighter.
‘Should we go back and wait for Scooter?’
‘No, I don’t want to run into her again.’ Justin shakes his head several times as he places a hand on the door, ‘alright, this is probably about to be hectic.’ He warns quietly leading the way to the car.
‘Justin! Chrissy! How’d the meeting go with Jayde? Were you talking baby names?’
‘Justin how does it feel to be dad?’
‘Where will Jayde stay while she’s carrying your child?’
‘Chrissy what do you have to say about all this?’
Justin and I ignore their obnoxious questions while hurrying to get into the car. Justin was silent while driving back to his house. Once we make it to the house, he immediately goes up to his room and lies down in the bed. I could tell just how stressed out he was. This whole thing Jayde and he was about to go off on a seven-month tour.
‘Do you need anything?’ I wonder, leaning against the door’s frame. ‘Maybe something to eat?’
‘Just lay with me, please.’ Justin nearly whispers, not looking up from the ceiling.
I kick out of my shoes and climb into his large bed beside him, resting on his chest. He wraps an arm around me, pushing me that much closer to him. I contemplate whether or not I should speak up and say something but ultimately I could see that Justin wasn’t in the talking mood. If he just wanted me to be his cuddle partner, that’s what I would be.
‘Chris, would you come to the first show in Seattle with me?’ He inquires, placing his deep brown eyes on me. ‘The first day back is always the hardest for me and I would just appreciate you being there.’
‘Of course.’ I instantly agree with a firm nod. I was shocked by Justin’s vulnerable attitude right now but now wasn’t the time to bring it up.
…
Before we had time to even blink, we were going to Seattle the day before the first show of the Purpose tour. Rocky sits in my lap while I watch Justin rehearse one more time before the show.
‘How was it?’ He asks nervously sitting down on the edge of the stage, ‘I haven’t toured since the Believe tour and that was nearly three years ago. It just feels like there’s a lot of pressure to redeem myself.’
‘I think your fans and everyone is going to love it. The stage is incredible and everything just flows together. I don’t think you should change anything else.’
‘I can’t tell you how much I love that you’re here.’ He smiles standing to his feet, ‘come on – I wanna show you the merch I designed.’
As we’re walking backstage we could hear Scooter yelling at someone on his phone. Justin glances back at me, his dark eyebrows knitted together.
‘Who was that Scooter?’
‘It’s nothing, don’t worry about it. How are rehearsals going?’
‘Good, good.’ Justin smiles proudly, ‘I’m going to see if I can find some of the merch. Meet me in the dressing room.’ He says to me before disappearing somewhere backstage with Rocky trailing at his ankles.
‘Who was that Scooter?’ I wonder, just starting up conversation, ‘it seemed pretty serious.’
‘You cannot tell him this because he needs to focus on the tour but Jayde didn’t show up to take the DNA test. She’s not answering my texts or calls, I don’t know where she is.’
‘It’s going to be okay. It’s going to be okay.’ I repeat quietly to myself, ‘Everything’s going to be okay.’
I thought if I said it enough times I would start to believe it myself. Justin and Scooter made plans to meet with Jayde to settle the whole paternity situation once and for all. Scooter found a doctor’s office that did non-invasive prenatal paternity tests. I didn’t know the specifics of it all but somehow they were able to compare the fetal cells and compare it to the alleged father. Justin thought that if Jayde could publicly call him out, he would do the same. He would offer to give his DNA to see if her accusations were true. Jayde apparently told Scooter that she was around three months pregnant and the test could be done after 14 weeks. My leg nervously bounces while waiting for Justin to come in with any news. I started to regret my decision to wait in here.
Justin’s Point of View
‘Will you stop pacing you’re making me nervous.’ Scooter laughs from across the room looking up from his phone, I was glad he wasn’t on the verge of losing it like I was.
Jayde was currently on her way to meet with us about getting some kind of paternity test. If this kid was actually mine, I wanted to know for sure. This had the potential to change my life forever – I couldn’t take any chances. I remember talking to Chrissy on the way over here. I could tell she was nervous, I could tell that she wasn’t saying everything she wanted to say.
“Hey Chris – if this happened to be true, would you stay with me? Please don’t think that I’m expecting you to by asking but I just wanna know where this would leave us.” I rambled on in the car, not even bringing myself to look her in the eyes.
“We’ve been through too much, with too many people to let her win.” Chrissy simply said, reaching over to hold my hand while I was driving. I knew that she was referring to Jayde but she didn’t want to be the one to say her name. “I think this is something we could work through.” Not a part of me doubted Chrissy’s feelings for me but I didn’t think she willingly wants to be someone’s stepmom right now. I mean, we’re still figuring this whole thing out – I didn’t actually think we were officially back together. Sure we had this incredible time in Belize but we never discussed it. I wasn’t ready to lose her again. I couldn’t.
The door swings open and in walks Jayde, crashing into my thoughts. I look over at Scooter who quickly shoved his phone down into his jeans to walk over to Jayde. She walks slowly, glaring at me, her stomach sticking out more than what I was used to. She was definitely pregnant but I just needed to know if the child was actually mine.
‘Jayde.’ I speak, silently nodding my head in her direction.
‘Okay, I’m here – what do you want Scooter?’ She retorts, clearly ignoring me since we didn’t end things on the best of terms. I basically cut her off completely just to work on things with Chrissy. ‘I don’t have all day for this.’ Jayde complains, while rubbing her barely-there stomach.
‘Jayde, I think we all kind of know why each of is here. You’ve been telling anyone that’ll listen that Justin is the father of your baby so we want some proof of that.’ Scooter chimes and I’m glad he was. I couldn’t stop staring at her stomach, I was at a lost of words.
‘What do you mean proof? I’m sure you saw the pictures of him walking around without a care in the world in absolutely nothing over in Bora Bora.’
My stomach turns with the mention of Bora Bora. I was starting to think that I would never live that weekend down. It was like this dark cloud that would haunt and follow me forever.
‘I think you and I both know if you’re going to go around and tell the world that Justin is the father of your child, you’ll need actual fact-based proof.’ Scooter argues while I watch wordlessly.
‘What did you have in mind?’
‘When you’re 14 weeks, we’re going to need you to take a test.’ I finally speak up eyeing Jayde from across the room, ‘We’ll settle this. If the kid is mine, I’m going to man up and accept responsibility but I need to know. So let me know.’ I speak walking out of the room, leaving her there with Scooter.
Chrissy’s Point of View
‘How’d it go?’ I practically blurt when Justin enters the room. I was sitting on pins and needles waiting for anyone to tell me how everything was going.
‘I told her that she needs to take the test in 14 weeks before I do anything.’ He speaks simply, extending a hand out to me. ‘I am so ready to get out of here.’
I happily take his hand as Justin leads the way towards the exit. Justin groans looking at the paparazzi hovering around the blacked out Range Rover.
‘Every time. I bet anything that Jayde tipped them off.’ He mutters under his breath, holding onto my hand even tighter.
‘Should we go back and wait for Scooter?’
‘No, I don’t want to run into her again.’ Justin shakes his head several times as he places a hand on the door, ‘alright, this is probably about to be hectic.’ He warns quietly leading the way to the car.
‘Justin! Chrissy! How’d the meeting go with Jayde? Were you talking baby names?’
‘Justin how does it feel to be dad?’
‘Where will Jayde stay while she’s carrying your child?’
‘Chrissy what do you have to say about all this?’
Justin and I ignore their obnoxious questions while hurrying to get into the car. Justin was silent while driving back to his house. Once we make it to the house, he immediately goes up to his room and lies down in the bed. I could tell just how stressed out he was. This whole thing Jayde and he was about to go off on a seven-month tour.
‘Do you need anything?’ I wonder, leaning against the door’s frame. ‘Maybe something to eat?’
‘Just lay with me, please.’ Justin nearly whispers, not looking up from the ceiling.
I kick out of my shoes and climb into his large bed beside him, resting on his chest. He wraps an arm around me, pushing me that much closer to him. I contemplate whether or not I should speak up and say something but ultimately I could see that Justin wasn’t in the talking mood. If he just wanted me to be his cuddle partner, that’s what I would be.
‘Chris, would you come to the first show in Seattle with me?’ He inquires, placing his deep brown eyes on me. ‘The first day back is always the hardest for me and I would just appreciate you being there.’
‘Of course.’ I instantly agree with a firm nod. I was shocked by Justin’s vulnerable attitude right now but now wasn’t the time to bring it up.
…
Before we had time to even blink, we were going to Seattle the day before the first show of the Purpose tour. Rocky sits in my lap while I watch Justin rehearse one more time before the show.
‘How was it?’ He asks nervously sitting down on the edge of the stage, ‘I haven’t toured since the Believe tour and that was nearly three years ago. It just feels like there’s a lot of pressure to redeem myself.’
‘I think your fans and everyone is going to love it. The stage is incredible and everything just flows together. I don’t think you should change anything else.’
‘I can’t tell you how much I love that you’re here.’ He smiles standing to his feet, ‘come on – I wanna show you the merch I designed.’
As we’re walking backstage we could hear Scooter yelling at someone on his phone. Justin glances back at me, his dark eyebrows knitted together.
‘Who was that Scooter?’
‘It’s nothing, don’t worry about it. How are rehearsals going?’
‘Good, good.’ Justin smiles proudly, ‘I’m going to see if I can find some of the merch. Meet me in the dressing room.’ He says to me before disappearing somewhere backstage with Rocky trailing at his ankles.
‘Who was that Scooter?’ I wonder, just starting up conversation, ‘it seemed pretty serious.’
‘You cannot tell him this because he needs to focus on the tour but Jayde didn’t show up to take the DNA test. She’s not answering my texts or calls, I don’t know where she is.’