If I Was Your Boyfriend

‘Mark my words,’ Justin suddenly appears hovering over the audience in a glass box, ‘It’s all that I have.’ I watch in amazement amongst the other cheering fans in the audience.

Once the music for Mark My Words dies down I watch as he slowly goes back onto the stage to start Where Are Ü Now. I cheer and dance along, not paying attention to the flashes going off in my direction. Scooter claps and applauds, pleased with Justin’s comeback.

‘Thank you Seattle!’ Justin calls out as Sorry, the final song, ends. He laughs and hugs the dancers before rushing off the stage.

‘I’m going backstage.’ I mutter to Scooter, not waiting for a response before walking away. A large member of Justin’s security guides me through backstage. Dancer members and member of the stage crew were rushing around backstage. I patiently wait in the dressing room while he accepts the congratulations on a good show.

Justin rushes in with a wide smile and wet arms. I fall into his grasp, giving him a tight squeeze getting my shirt wet in the process.

‘I am so, so proud of you! That was incredible, Jay!’

‘Thank you, thank you.’ He grins happily, running a hand through his wet hair.

‘Alright everyone – let’s move out!’ One of the tour crew members shouts from the crowded hall, ‘Everyone on a bus!’

‘Come on you have to see the bus.’ Justin shoves all of his things into his duffle bag before throwing it over his shoulder and reaching for my hand.

The dancers all pile into one bus while the crew members were on another. Justin’s bus was the last in line, bigger and grander than every other bus. While rushing onto the bus, I could see the mass of fans waiting along the street to catch a final glimpse of Justin.

‘Scooter’s riding with us.’ Justin informs me while the driver gets out to hold the door open.

‘Great.’ I plaster a smile on my face while following him into the bus.

Justin places a hand on my back guiding me through the narrow entrance. Sure enough, Scooter was sat at the table with his phone in his hands. I needed to ask if he’s heard anything about Jayde yet.

‘Good show, kid – showin’ em how it’s done out there.’

‘Thanks,’ Justin slaps his back while passing him, ‘I’m just gonna show Chris around. Okay, that was just the main lounge area with the mini kitchen,’ Justin points as the door slides open, ‘here’s six bunks so when Jaz and Jax wanna come out or Scooter will be around sometimes. Bathroom’s right there and it has a shower in there and everything. Next is my own private lounge area,’ He shows off his bus proudly, ‘Are you ready for the main attraction?’

‘Yes, I’m practically dying of anticipation.’ I tease nodding eagerly.

‘Fine, smartass. I’m not showing you.’ Justin folds his ink-stained arms across his chest to lean against the wall.

‘I’m kidding, I’m kidding.’ I say, forcing myself between his arms, ‘Will you please show me?’

‘Okay.’ He grins pushing a nearly invisible button somewhere on the wall.

Inside the room, a bed just as big as the one at his house back in LA. Rocky sat in the corner of the room chewing on one of the many toys in his bed. He immediately abandons the toy to jump against my ankles. I lift him into my arms while Justin shows the small bathroom tucked away in one of the walls.

‘We have about three hours until Vancouver.’ Justin yawns falling back into the bed. ‘We could go to a hotel or just stay in the bus outside the venue.’ Just listening to him, I could hear how tired he was. He absentmindedly strokes Rocky’s fur blinking slowly every few seconds at his phone. ‘Which do you wanna do?’

‘This is fine.’ I kick my shoes off staring at the wall before laying next to him. ‘You did good tonight.’

‘And it’s only starting.’ He simply says leaving a kiss on my hand, his eyelids collapse with weight.

Carefully, I slip out of the bed and out of the room. Scooter was still in his same spot, now watching some show on his iPad. He pauses glancing up at me, clearly knowing I was going to bring up Jayde again.

‘Scooter, I know that you said trust you and believe me, I want to. I just hate looking him in his eyes, knowing that he’s walking around as if this is over, when it’s not.’

‘Okay I get it, and I just want to say how much I appreciate you helping me out because it paid off tonight, seeing him focused like that. He’s never looked better. He killed it out there.’

‘I knew he would, he’s worked hard but I still believe that he deserves to know what’s going on with something this huge.’

‘I hear you, believe me I hear you. I’ve finally got in contact with Jayde and I’m meeting her in a few days. I’m just going to the show in Vancouver and then I’m flying back to LA to physically meet her at the doctor’s office.’

‘Okay good so this situation will be behind everyone in a few days.’

‘Yeah, finally.’ Scooter chimes as I’m making my way back to Justin’s room. I sneak a shirt from his suitcase, feeling so much more comfortable in his clothes than my own. Finding a spot under his arm beside Rocky, I fall into my own slumber.

Justin’s Point of View

My phone lets out a chime, interrupting my sleep. I wince at the bright light before rolling out the bed, noticing Chrissy’s absence. I hear muttered voices from the other room. Rocky rolls in his sleep, opening his eyes to look at me. The closer I get to the front of the bus I could hear Scooter thanking Chrissy for helping keep me focused and how it’ll all be handled. Clearly, they were talking about Jayde. Scooter said he’d be flying to meet her at some doctor’s office when I thought he did that a week ago. I can’t believe that he enlisted Chrissy of all people, after everything the two of us been through. I quietly slide back to bed, Rocky already taking over my spot. Chrissy comes in a few seconds later snuggling up beside Rocky. I close my eyes and slow my breathing as she slowly falls asleep herself.

…

The next morning, I drag myself out of the bed and get dressed. At the front of the bus, Scooter talked to the driver about something I didn’t care enough to listen to. I put Rocky on his leash to take him for a needed walk. I ignore Scooter’s good morning before jumping off the bus. I spot a handful of fans already in line when the show doesn’t start for eleven hours. The dedication never ceases to amaze me.

‘Justin!’ One cries out, the others squealing in unison.

‘Hey, guys. Are you ready for the show tonight?’

Immediately a bunch of excited yes’s fill the air.

‘Can we touch Rocky?’

‘Sure, he loves attention.’ I unclip his leash and watch as he happily twirls and jumps around all the new faces.

‘Where’s Chrissy? Is she coming to the show tonight?’

‘My sleeping beauty is on the bus.’ I stiff out a laugh, briefly remembering how cute she looked. ‘She’ll be at the show tonight.’

After talking to the fans a while longer, I grab up Rocky once he’s finished and carry him back to the bus. Scooter was on his phone but quickly hangs up once I step into the room.

‘No, no need to hang up because of me unless you’re keeping something from me.’ I say peering down the hall to see if Chrissy was up yet.

‘You sound like you have something to ask me.’ Scooter replies coyly eyeing me from the table.

‘I know.’ Was all I say, feeling my blood grow hot. ‘Just drop the act, I know.’

‘Chrissy told you, huh?’ He scoffs, ‘I knew she wouldn’t be able to keep anything private no matter how it helped you.’

‘No, she didn’t tell me anything. How dare you ask her to keep anything from me? You know that’s always been a big part of our issues.’

‘Justin, I-…’

‘Save it.’

When I make it to the room, I see that Rocky had interrupted Chrissy’s slumber. He wags his tail happily, knowing he has her attention.

‘Morning.’ I shut the door, sitting beside her on the bed.

Chrissy’s Point of View

‘Good morning. Is everything okay? You seem tense.’

‘Yeah, yeah.’ He shrugs running a hand across the back of his neck, ‘Is there anything that you want to tell me or talk to me about?’ Justin questions suddenly, taking me by surprise.

‘No, nothing I can think of.’ The harsh feeling of guilt instantly washing over me. As much as I wanted to go against it, I needed to trust Scooter.

‘Wow.’ He mutters, throwing back his suitcase to get dressed.

‘What’s wrong?’ I inquire sitting up to study him, ‘what’s going on?’

‘I just thought things would be different.’ Justin replies before storming out of the room and off the bus.