If I Was Your Boyfriend

‘Thank you for dinner.’ I tell Justin as we both wash the dishes in the sink.

‘Don’t mention baby.’ He replies as he dries the dishes once I rinse them.

After we finish the dishes we both go upstairs and climb into the bed with Rocky at the base of the bed. ‘Justin.’ I start causing his deep brown eyes to fall on me.

‘Yeah?’ he wonders curiously. His fingers dance against my skin.

‘I think you should go ahead and find a video girl for the All That Matters music video.’

‘Is it because of your foot? Because the doctor said you’ll be better in two weeks so I can definitely hold off on the video. Don’t worry about the tim-‘Justin rambles on and on.

‘Justin…’ I say once again cutting him off with a small laugh, ‘that’s not it. I just don’t think I have to be in another video, you know?’

‘I guess.’ Justin shrugs looking over at me. ‘I mean, I’m not going to force you into being in it or anything like that.’

‘Are you mad?’ I ask nervously.

‘No,’ he shakes his head instantly, ‘not even close. I couldn’t be mad at you for something like that. I’m just glad you’re being honest with me.’

‘Okay.’ I reply.

‘Will you at least come with me to the casting for the video girl?’

‘Sure.’ I agree before we both go to bed.

~*~

Within a few days Justin had managed to book a location for the auditions. We were sat behind a long wooden table in hard plastic chairs.

‘Prepare yourself, it’s going to be long.’ Justin grins over at me as the security opens the doors.

In walks dozens of girls with their duffle bags in hand. I remember months ago when I was walking through a door to a dance studio for an audition to be in a video with Justin. It didn’t seem like it was that long ago. Justin and I watch as the girls fish out their profolios and scurry over to the table. I place them neatly in a stack while Justin’s choreographer does the same.

‘Alright!’ Justin stands up from the table, ‘thank you all for coming to the audition today. Show us what you got.’

There’s a mixture of cheers and claps that fills the studio. The girls are broken up into groups of six where they perform the group dance. Throughout the auditions Justin asks my opinion on just about everything. Hours passed before the auditions were officially over.

‘How about her?’ Justin mutters nodding his head over to a lean blonde sitting on the floor.

I had to admit she was one of the best we’ve seen today.

‘She’s really good. I’d pick her.’

‘I just want to thank you all for coming out today but unfortunately everyone cannot be picked since there is only one girl in this video.’ Justin starts. They all look on with wide eyes waiting for him to announce who will be in his new video. ‘Number 31, we’ve decided that you are what we’re looking for.’

The room claps slowly, obviously upset by the new dancer.

‘Thank you again everyone. I encourage you all to continue dancing and show up next year when I go back on the road. A lot of you would make great dancers for the tour.’

Sad faces turn into hopeful ones as the people begin to pan out the room. Number thirty-one skips over to the table running a hand through her hair.

‘Congratulations.’ Justin and I say in unison once she reaches the table.

‘Thank you so much! Thank you! You have no idea how much this means to me. I will not let you down.’

‘See you in a couple of days.’ Justin shakes her hand before she practically runs out of the room.

‘She's nice.’ I say looking over at Justin.

We gathered up our stuff and headed back to the apartment. I get changed into one of Justin's shirts while he puts on a pair of sweatpants.

‘Ready to make that pizza?’ Justin has already turned on the oven and was getting the crusts from the refrigerator.

‘Yes.’ I get the cheese, pizza sauce, and pepperonis while Justin is ripping the packaging to the crust open.

‘Is there anything else we should put on it?’ he wonders once we already put the toppings on it.

‘Peppers.’ we both say in unison. I fetch bell peppers from the refrigerator and chopped them up into tiny pieces then sprinkled them onto the pizza.

‘I'll put the timer on.’ I setting an alarm for on my phone before we walk out to the backyard with Rocky. Justin's arms snake his arms around my waist while Rocky sprints through the yard. Distant flashes went off beyond the gates. I squint to see a handful of figures blending in the darkness. Justin notices in the same moment that I do. His annoyance was clearly evident.

‘Unbelievable.’ I hear him scoff.

I turn to hide in his bare chest from the cameras. Rocky soon finishes up and we all go back into the apartment and upstairs to the room.

‘Good thing they can’t get past the gate.’ I say moving away from the window.

‘I’d have to hurt somebody then.’ He half jokes pulling me down with him.

‘I love you.’ I say before the light leaves the room.

‘I love you.’ Justin repeats quietly. I couldn’t see him in the pitch black of the room but he was close enough I could practically feel the heat generating from his body. ‘More than you can ever imagine.’

‘I think I have a good idea.’ I reply before falling asleep.

The next morning Justin wakes up early in the morning to go for the first day of filming the All That Matters video. ‘love you baby.’ He says before I faintly hear the sound of his car starting up.

I wake up a few hours later then take a shower before feeding Rocky and heading over to the set where the video was taking place. I lock my car behind me after slipping Rocky’s leash onto his collar and pulling him along with me. I immediately spotted members from the crew scattered around the set watching.

‘Chrissy, hey!’ Scooter waves as I approach him.

‘Hey, how’s it going?’

‘Good, good. Justin just got out of wardrobe so you haven’t missed out on much. You’re just in time.’

I look as Justin and the girl are talking since they haven’t officially started filming just yet. Justin told me a few days back that this video would be “sexier” than the videos he’s done in the past.

‘Alright here we go everyone.’ The director calls out to the crew.

All That Matters blares through the set as Justin sings along with the track. I take my phone out and take a quick picture of the set before heading over to Twitter.

@chrissythorton: All That Matters: Day 1!

After I post the tweet I go to my mentions to see what people are talking about. I stop at a question asking if I was going to be in the video after all.

@ChrissyThorton: no, just here for support (:

I scroll through my mentions for a while longer reading all of the tweets before putting up my phone completely. The video starts out with the girl, Jess, dressed in some kind of leather bra top with her hand stroking Justin’s back. They later film a scene where Justin’s sitting a black chair and her body is pressed against the wall in the distance. Then it was time for a short break.

‘Chrissy?’ Justin wonders as he walks off the set. ‘I didn’t think you’d be here this early.’

‘Of course.’ I reply with a smile as he pulls me into a tight hug.

‘Thank you for being here. I appreciate your support.’

‘Anytime.’ I retort sitting down on Justin's lap.

‘Hey you brought the little guy too.’ he leans forward in the seat to stroke Rocky's fur.

‘Back to work.’ The director calls. I roll out of Justin’s lap and settle back into the chair.

‘Hold this for me.’ He says as he digs into the pocket of his baggy jeans. He places his sleek black iPhone into my palm before leaving a kiss on my forehead. I watch on as the video continues.

She lays across a black motorcycle while Justin’s fingers graze her legs. Her fingers are all over his entire body. I couldn’t ignore the pinch of jealousy floating around inside of me.

‘It’s just a video.’ I scold myself pulling out my phone again.

Remember what happened the last time Justin made a video?

I click that tweet and read the conversation below it.

Jelena was over when Chrissy came along lol

YES! I wonder what’ll happen this time.

I exited out the app, mainly because the other account hadn’t responded to the last tweet. Remember what happened the last time Justin made a video. The string of words floated around in my head as I watched the set. Their lips weren’t touching but it was pretty close to it. What did happen exactly the last time Justin filmed a video?

I remember it like it was yesterday, actually.

We were filming Boyfriend, Justin was with Selena. During the few days of filming things were up and down. We were just friend when I started to fall for him. I didn’t mean to come in between Justin and Selena. I didn’t tell him to break up with her. He just did. I pushed away the feelings I had for him the entire time during filming just to please her and everyone else in the world who insisted we had something going on. I don’t Justin intentionally wanted to hurt Selena. I’m pretty sure he pushed away his feelings too. It just happened, I guess. In all respect to Selena, we just had this connection during filming.

I look up again and she’s feeling all over him again.

When I see them, I just see acting. As Justin calls it, acting. This is strictly platonic and professional. But that’s the exactly the same thing I said to Selena. Finally they were done filming for today and Justin was changing out of his wardrobe. I walk over to Jess, to get to know her better.

‘Hey.’ I say shifting over to one side.

‘Chrissy Thorton, hey. Huge fan.’

‘Thanks, I think you’re a great dancer.’ I reply nicely.

‘Thank you. You get great when dancing is all you do.’

‘I know what you mean. How long have you been dancing?’

‘Since I was ten’ she responds tossing her hair up into a ponytail, ‘how about you?’

‘I was seven when I started, basically my entire life.’

‘I’m hoping this gives me the start I need.’

‘It definitely will. Be prepared to have several people know who you are.’

‘Oh I think I got a taste of that. On Twitter people were saying I was married for some reason.’

‘I wonder how that came about. Are you seeing anyone at all or anything? I hope it comes out as subtle as I meant it to.

‘Definitely not married or in a relationship. Completely single.’ She shakes her head with the most annoying laugh.