If I Was Your Boyfriend

Justin's Point of View

I go back downstairs and leave Chrissy to read that book of hers or to actually sleep. I heat up some of the pasta I made the other night and sit down on the sofa to watch tv. I was flipping through the channels and spotted the title Bride Wars. It just came on a few minutes ago and Chrissy did say I should watch it from the beginning.

So I saw how they both were engaged even though the blonde was pretty jealous that the other one got engaged first. She basically sprinted like some athlete to her boyfriend's office just for him to ask her. They both we're going to get married in June, two different weeks though. I saw the poofy dress Chrissy was in love with. I think she'd look incredible in that to be honest. Probably better than this woman. I saw how the lady mixed up their dates with another lady who wanted to get married at that plaza place in June too. She happened to be the same lady they whispered to as they were leaving. I guess they shouldn't have told her it was another date left. They tried to track her down in the store, bad idea. I saw how neither one called the other one to say they would move their date. The blonde was out with her fiancé looking at invitations when the other girl's fiancé called. He told him how they were out looking for invitations so the brunette sends out this invitation through email as her "save the dates". And finally I saw how they got to what I saw with Chrissy.

‘Is this Bride Wars?’ Chrissy is suddenly hovering over the back of the sofa. Here I was laying down all into this movie, by myself.

‘Uh, yeah.’ I reply as she walks around the sofa with her black boot on her foot.

‘Could I lay with you?’ she wonders now standing in front of me.

‘Anytime.’ I carefully pull her down on top of me and the sofa where she rests her head on my chest, facing the TV. I wrap my arm around her using a pillow to support myself.

‘Are you planning on getting another tattoo?’

‘Not for a while, maybe.’ I stiff out a laugh as she examines my full sleeve or at least the parts she could see. It makes me feel all fuzzy inside watching her examine my arm full of tattoos. She looks at them with so much love and adoration, rather than Selena's usual face of disgust and "did you really need to get that?" Chrissy's eyes danced with curiously when I'd show her a new tattoo. She would ask a thousand questions like how long did it take, did it come out like you wanted it to, what made you get that one, etc. Sometimes I think she just liked to hear me talk.

‘How bad does it hurt, to get a tattoo?’

‘Pretty bad I guess, I'm not going to lie about that and say its painless. At first, it was horrible but now depending on where you get it, it's bearable.’

‘Could you take me to get one?’ she asks.

‘No.’ I cough out immediately. Chrissy turns in my arm to look at me.

‘I'm only joking. I'll leave that to you.’ she giggles. I laugh along with her but I'm relieved. She is my sweet innocent Chrissy I couldn't imagine her with a tattoo although it might be pretty sexy. But still, no. ‘Do you know what my favorite one is?’

I shake my head once, ‘no, what's your favorite?’

‘This one.’ She traces the tiger on my arm with her index finger. I could see the purple ring she fell in love with ages ago. I remember how I got it for her for Christmas and it's been on the wedding finger ever since. It shined in the light perfectly, just like her. ‘Out of all your tattoos I love him the most.’

‘Why is it your favorite?’

‘Because I think it expresses who you are in many ways.’

‘How so?’

‘Because like a tiger you’re strong yet sensitive. You’re courageous but also passionate with everything you do. You’re confident without being cocky. You’re quite protective for what’s yours and don’t take anything from anyone. I love you for that.’ She tells me sweetly.

At this point I was smiling like such an idiot from the few sentences that came easily from her lips.

‘I love you, so much.’ I tell her kissing the small part of her forehead.

…

‘Are you leaving?’ she mutters tiredly as I walk around the dark room to gather my belongings. It was another early morning where I’d have to go down and film a few bits from the new video.

‘I didn’t mean to wake you.’

‘Have a good day filming.’ She rubs her eyes while stretching her legs underneath the sheets.

‘Thanks baby.’ I say pulling my phone from its charger.

‘Can I have a kiss?’ she asks me. I hold back my laughter while I hover over her to meet her lips. She knows she doesn’t have to ask me. It’s me who should ask her. ‘I love you Justin.’ Chrissy says once I reach the door.

‘I love you.’ I say before heading down the stairs.

Instantly I felt a flood of emptiness wave over me before I even make it to the front door. Even if it’s just for a few hours I hate being away from Chrissy. In fact, I can’t stand to be without her for five minutes. I throw the duffle bag into the passenger side and climb into my car. Creepy paps hang around the outskirts of the neighborhood waiting for a glimpse of anything. In the same second I put my sunglasses on and peel out down the road.

Once I made it to the set I see Jess is already there in wardrobe. ‘Good morning.’ I nod my head sitting down in the seat beside her.

‘Good morning, Jay.’

I feel my entire body tense from the abbreviation of my name. It felt weird to hear it coming from anyone’s lips besides Chrissy’s. There’s just something about the way she says it. It drives me crazy in the best way. Suddenly I hear Jess clear her throat next to me, realizing she was still there.

‘So, last day.’ I decide to speak up.

‘Last day.’ She repeats with a slow nod, ‘I just want to thank you for the opportunity, again. This has been such a dream come true, not to sound corny or anything.’

‘Thank you for being a part of it and coming in here every day giving it 110 percent. I appreciate it.’ I send some nice comment back her way.

‘Justin and Jess to the set.’ The director calls.

We finished filming our final scenes in a pretty short time. Luckily we didn’t have any corrections on it today.

‘That’s a wrap!’ the director claps sending a wave of claps through the filled set of workers.

‘Thank you everybody. I’m proud to say I’ve worked with such a talented group of people while making this video. I honestly can’t thank you guys enough for all the hard work and dedication you put into this video. I can’t wait to see the finished product.’ I conclude the last day of filming and head to my dressing room after shaking everyone’s hand.

‘Knock Knock.’ Jess stands in the doorway as I toss stuff into my duffle bag.

‘Hey.’ I nod once turning my back to continue to get all my stuff. ‘What’s up?’

‘I think a last day of successful filming calls for a night out as celebration.’

‘I don’t know, I was probably going to do something with Chrissy tonight. Sit at home and watch some movies.’ I shrug pulling the long strap over my shoulder.

‘Aw come on. You deserve it.’

‘I’ll let you know.’ I say before heading to my car on the side of the building.

About a few dozen fans were standing around the building where I couldn’t drive my car without the fear of hitting someone. I knew I should’ve brought security with me today. I cut the engine to the car and slowly step out. The air is filled with high-pitched squeals once I near them.

‘Hey everybody, how are you guys doing?’

Dozens of goods and fines fill my ears.

‘That’s good. I’m going to take some pictures with you guys but I really want it to be orderly so no pushing or shoving, okay?’

Their eager heads nod up and down while some are already full on sobbing. As agreed they all waited patiently so I could take individual pictures with every single one of them. I make it to the apart in about an hour’s time considering the afternoon traffic. I find Chrissy curled up on the sofa with that book in her hand and a tissue in the other. From where I stood I could see the tears on her face.

‘What happened?’

‘Augustus died.’ She sniffles in the cutest way.

One of the many things I love about Chrissy is how passionate she is and how she gets into the smallest things.

‘Oh babe, I’m sorry.’ I wrap an arm around her while she continues to read that bright blue book. ‘Did you really like this Augustus person? What was he like?’

‘He was great.’ She informs me using her finger to mark her page in the book. ‘He was both confident and witty at the same time. He wanted to leave his mark on the world in a way. He got sick but he wasn’t going to let it bring him down. He was so inspirational.’ I listen as goes on and on about this Augustus guy. I felt a pinch of jealousy coursing through my veins for some reason. I wanted to be the only guy who moves her in such a way, fictional or not. I know how selfish that sounds right now but it’s the truth.

She closes it after about thirty more minutes and wipes her eyes, ‘was it good?’

‘It was incredible.’ She smiles with a simple nod. She leaves my arms and fetches her car keys on the end table. ‘I need to go Barnes and Noble.’

‘Right now?’

‘Yes, I won’t be long. I’m just going to pick up another book by this author. They're going to close soon.’ She assures me. I watch as she scurries to her purse and back over to me, ‘love you.’

‘Love you too.’ I call out after she’s already slipped out the garage door.

I wait and wait and then wait but the words “I won’t be long” seem so faint and far away at this point. I end up feeding Rocky, taking a shower, and heating up leftovers again. I decide to call her but I get no answer. Before I know it I’m making sure the apartments locked and heading out the door. I drive to the nearest Barnes and Noble and scope the parking lot for her car just to make sure she’s okay. I pull alongside the familiar vehicle and get out of my car. As I’m walking towards the large glass doors I spot my girlfriend sitting in the Starbucks area of Barnes and Noble with some guy across her. I squint my eyes hard stopping myself from going inside the store. “I won’t be long” the words spin around in my head once again. I turn around and jog to my car sitting inside the driver’s side. I dial a number and wait as it rings.

‘Hello?’ the voice on the other end chimes.

‘Hey, is the team still going out tonight?’ I ask.

‘I thought you’d never ask.’ Jess laughs into the phone telling me the address to my next destination.