If I Was Your Boyfriend

Justin’s Point of View

I get to this club but it isn’t too bad as far as capacity goes. I lock the car and walk along side the walkway. Jess and some of the other people from the crew were waiting by the entrance, ‘took you long enough.’ Jess laughs yanking me by my arm into the club. The music is blurring so loud I could have sworn the walls were vibrating.

‘I’ve actually never been here before.’ I look around soaking in my surroundings.

‘Lets dance!’ a crew member shouts and we all head to the dance floor.

After I don’t know how many more songs I head over to an empty table and pull my phone out of my pocket. I saw I had numerous missed calls and texts from Chrissy, also I saw that it was after midnight. The feeling of guilt was weighing heavily on me. I run back out on the dance floor fishing my car keys out of my pocket looking for the crew.

‘I-I really need to go.’ I shout over the upbeat music.

‘I’ll head out too. Lets go.’ She downs the rest of her drink and snakes closely behind me. There were tons of flashing lights coming from outside of the building and dark figures behind the glass. I did not have the time for this, not right now. I yank the door open anyway where the flashing lights were going off from every angle. Jess covered her eyes trying to walk out behind me, ‘I can’t see anything.’

‘I’ll help you get to your car. Where’d you park?’

JUSTIN ARE YOU CHEATING ON CHRISSY?

JUSTIN DID YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME?

WHERE’S CHRISSY JUSTIN?

DID YOU GUYS DRINK TONIGHT?

JUSTIN ANY COMMENT ON THE RUMORS THAT YOU’RE RETIRING?

Jess and I cut across the crowded street and go deep into a parking lot where her black car was parked.

‘That was intense.’ She breathes out leaning against the car.

‘Yeah, I don’t even think I’ll be able to get my car.’ I look back at the mass of people still standing along side the walkway where my car was parked.

‘I’ll give you a ride, come on.’

I shrug and jog around to the other side of the car and slip inside. She speeds past the paps but not without their flashes catching us. I go through my phone looking at all of the messages from Chrissy.

Just got back. Where’d you go?

Justin??

I’m getting worried…

Please answer your phone.

And the list went on and on. I hit my head against the headrest of the car, frustrated. I should have never came. I should’ve just waited for her. I shouldn’t even went to that stupid store. The car ride seemed agonizingly long.

‘I had fun.’ Jess says standing out of her car when I get out. She walks around and hugs me, ‘thanks again for the opportunity.’

‘Goodnight.’ I watch as she drives away before looking for my key to the apartment. As soon as my feet touched the hardwood flooring I was tackled to the ground by Chrissy.

‘Justin! You’re okay.’ She breathes literally squeezing all of the air out of my body.

‘Of course I’m okay Chris.’ I laugh looking into her eyes.

‘I’ve been worried sick.’ She uses her hand to swat my arm, ‘where have you been?!’

‘Well, I went out, with some of the crew.’

‘Out where?’ her tone isn’t aggressive, just curious.

‘We went to this club.’

‘Oh. Just the regular crew?’

‘Yep.’ I say in return finally standing to my feet, ‘I didn’t realize you called so many times. Sorry.’

‘Don’t ever scare me like that again, okay?’

‘Okay.’

‘I love you so so so much.’ She wraps her arms around me once again.

‘I love you too baby.’

‘Why didn’t you come through the garage?’

‘Oh, I got a ride.’

‘From who?’

‘Just the crew.’ I shrug.

‘It’s late, let’s go to bed.’ She says heading up the stairs. Chrissy crawls into the bed while I slip on a pair of clean sweats. I fumble through my pockets digging out my wallet but not feeling my phone. I probably left it downstairs. ‘Come lay down.’ Chrissy tugs on my arm. I do as I’m told and lay down beside her turning the lamp off.

Ding Dong

Ding Dong

‘Someone’s at the door.’ I mutter rubbing my eyes.

‘I’ll get it.’ Chrissy offers before rolling out of my arms. I watch as she tiredly stumbles out of the bedroom and down the hall.

Front door.

I make my way to the stairs where I hear Chrissy talking to someone.

Chrissy’s Point of View

It was eleven in the morning when someone ringing the doorbell woke Justin and me. It was the first time in a while where we both slept through most of the morning. I rub my eyes walking down the stairs with Rocky close behind. I open the door to see Jess standing on the lowest step.

‘Oh, Carrie, hey.’

‘It’s Chrissy.’ I clear my throat squeezing the doorknob behind me.

‘Right, I knew that.’

‘Do you need Justin for something?’ I ask looking down at my puffy pajama bottoms.

‘No, obviously you guys were sleeping. I just wanted to drop off his phone. He left it in my car last night.’ She extends her palm extending Justin’s phone.

‘He did?’ I take the phone from her moving it from hand to hand, ‘at the club, right?’

‘Yeah, I took him to this hole in the wall.’

‘That’s nice.’ I say with a slow nod.

‘Well, I better get going. See you two around.’ Jess says before turning away to go to her car. I close the door without returning her goodbye.

He didn’t mention he was with Jess last night.

I hear his footsteps slowly walk down the stairs, slower than usual. I have a good idea that he just heard Jess and I’s exchange in the doorway. He waits on the last stair before joining me on the sofa.

‘Could you take me to get the car from the club?’ Justin asks using his forefinger to pick at his thumb nail. One of his nervous habits.

‘Sure.’ I take the keys from the table and walk out to the garage unlocking my car. I climb in silently just as Justin did.

Was he going to mention the Jess thing?

I didn’t want to bring it up but if he wasn’t, I had to.

‘Turn left at the next light.’ Justin says reading the directions off his phone.

I could have just used the navigational system.

‘Jess brought that by.’ I say nodding at his phone waiting for the light to change.

Justin was holding an expression that I couldn’t read in the moment. He doesn’t say anything right away instead he sits there with pursed lips. The light changes and the train of cars in front of us finally start to move. I lightly press on the gas trailing behind the large black Jeep in front of us. The streets of downtown Los Angeles were overly crowded as usual. Bumper to bumper traffic on every block just about.

‘I thought I heard her.’ Justin finally decides to speak up. ‘She’s the person who gave me a ride home last night.’

‘I didn’t know Jess was included when you said the crew.’ I keep my voice light and calm with my eyes on the road.

‘I thought you would’ve figured.’ Is all he says.

‘You knew when you said the crew Jess was the last person on my mind.’

‘Take a right.’ Justin replies instead, ‘and I didn’t lie Chrissy.’

‘You didn’t tell the entire truth.’

‘Well, I’m sorry that you didn’t think of Jess when I told you I was out last night.’

‘Every single thing you told me last night was vague. You never once directly answered any question.’

‘There it is.’ Justin points to an abandoned parking lot where his car sat alone.

It was in fact a hole in the wall. I would’ve driven right past this place by myself. But something tells me it has a completely different nightlife. I imagine dozens of cars alongside the roads and the parking lot full. I pull alongside Justin’s car and get out with him.

‘You never told me where you went last night. The reason you were gone so long at Barnes and Noble.’

‘Because I came home to an empty house.’ I point out.

‘Because you were gone so long talking to that guy.’ Justin blurts out looking directly at me.

I know Justin all too well. He was ready to boil over but was doing his best to mask it.

‘What guy? What are you talking about?’

‘Nothing.’ He mutters digging through his baggy jeans. I assume he was looking for his car keys.

‘You came to the store.’

‘Yeah I did, Chris. I saw you and him.’

‘Why would you do that?’

‘Because you didn’t answer my calls!’ Justin shouted over the car. ‘What was I supposed to do?’

‘Trust me.’

‘Yet you are standing here mad at me because I was with Jess last night. This is the Selena stuff all over again.’

‘This has nothing to do with her.’

‘This is you standing here doing the same exact thing and getting upset with me for doing it.’

I couldn’t take it anymore. I laugh. Right there in front of him. He stares at me half pissed off and half confused. Days ago I met this guy at Barnes and Noble who happens to work there. The same guy recommended the book the Fault In our Stars to last night and me we talked about the book. He told me how his girlfriend prefers Looking for Alaska to the Fault in our Stars. Yes, his girlfriend. He told me how they’ve been together for the last four years.

‘I’m glad you think this entire thing is funny.’ Justin finally says, shaking his head in disbelief.

‘I think it’s hilarious. That guy you saw me talking to is happily in a relationship of four years.’

An awkward silence waves over us.

‘If you came in and talked to us you would’ve known but you went out with Jess ins-…’ I cut myself off, thinking. Justin came to the store last night, he saw me then he went out with Jess last night, ‘why did you decide to go out last night?’

‘What?’ he asks raising an eyebrow at me.

‘You didn’t mention that when you came home yesterday. You would’ve told me if it was planned. It wasn’t. You decided to go after you saw me with that guy.’

Justin doesn’t say anything so I take that as I’m not wrong in my theory.

‘You went out of spite.’

‘Chris-…’ he cuts off short looking away from me. ‘I didn’t know what to think.’

‘I know exactly what you thought.’ The lump is growing in my throat with the realization, ‘I have to go.’

I was finished with fighting with Justin. I needed to get as far away as possible before one of us takes this even further.

‘Chrissy, wait.’ Justin strides in front of the car reaching for my hand.

‘Don’t touch me.’

‘Chrissy!’ I hear him shout again once I climb into my car. ‘I’m not moving.’ He says through the glass. I start the car up and yank it into reverse.

I skid out of the parking leaving him there.