If I Was Your Boyfriend

Justin's Point of View

‘There.’ Chrissy whispers across the table. I could clearly read the excitement on her face as she points her finger at a man sitting along the counter. He was dressed in a red flannel and a pair of faded jeans. The guy was sporting a full beard. In his hand was a white glass cup of coffee. I look down at my own cup of coffee. It wasn't too bad, but I've tasted better in Los Angeles.

‘Are you going to go over there?’ I ask curiously. I didn't know how I felt about this situation just yet but I'm here to be supportive.

‘Should I?’ she is already second-guessing herself.

As suspicious as I am about this I do want Chrissy to meet her dad if it means that much to her.

‘Go ahead baby.’ I say urging her to take the ten feet toward him. ‘You'll never know if you don't.’

‘Okay.’ she says standing to her feet. I watch as Chrissy makes her way over to the counter walking over to man in the flannel. Her lips are moving but I couldn't understand what she was saying. The man shakes his head several times standing on his feet. He moves away from Chrissy leaving her there, like some kind of lost puppy. Her eyes find me as she tries to smile while shaking her head.

‘It's not him?’

‘He won't even talk to me.’ she explains sitting down in the booth, ‘he's hiding something. I just don't know what. I can't get him to say more than ten words.’

I stand on my feet, brushing my jeans off. The guy is now getting his meal to go. The waitress takes the glass plate back into the kitchen area. She was our waitress too so she'd be a while.

‘Where are you going?’ Chrissy asks nervously.

‘I'm going to talk to him. Sit tight.’

Before she could intercept I head over to the counter and lean against it just like him.

‘Hello.’ I say.

‘Hello?’

‘So my extremely kind and beautiful girlfriend over there is really trying to talk to you. She says you keep blowing her off. I'm just trying to understand why.’

‘I already told her i have her change. It's out there in the truck.’ his eyes dance around the room. I could tell he was hiding something just like Chrissy said.

‘She doesn't want your money. She helped you out because that's who she is. Like I said extremely kind. But seeing how she did don't you think you could spare a few minutes of your time for her? I'm pretty sure she'll come sit in here every single day until you do. I'm really just trying to take her back home.’

He seems to contemplate the idea for a second before nodding his head.

Chrissy Point of View

I don’t know what Justin said exactly I just know this man was walking over to the table with Justin behind him. I breathe deeply as he sits down across from me in the other booth.

‘Hello.’ I quietly say watching Justin as he slides in beside me. I reach from his hand under the table and he quickly takes it in between his two large hands. ‘Thank you.’ I say loud enough for only Justin to hear. He squeezes my hand as a response.

‘Your friend here says you want to talk about something important?’

‘Well, I wouldn’t say it was incredibly important.’ I say suddenly uneasy.

Was I actually ready for what his answer may be? What would happen after? What would my mom say?

‘It’s important to her. She’s too polite to say so.’ Justin pipes in.

‘Let’s here it then.’ He leans back against the booth with his arms across his chest.

‘Well, you look so familiar to me. To my childhood. At first I thought I was actually crazy, but now looking at you better I know you look familiar. I know I’ve met you before. We both share the same last name and I just tho-…’

‘I’m not your dad.’ The stranger cuts me off, sitting up a bit straighter.

‘Oh.’ I peep quietly. Justin squeezes my hand once again, this time tighter.

‘But I know him.’ He says sending chills through my body.

‘You do? How?’

‘Well, I grew up with the guy for the better part of my life.’ He simply answers.

‘So he’s your brother or something?’ Justin asks, slightly impatient.

‘He is.’

‘So you’re my-…’

‘Uncle.’ He finishes the sentence. ‘Uncle Donny.’

‘Why didn’t you just tell me that then?’

‘I didn’t want to be the one who opened up an old wound. If you remembered on you’re own then that’s something else.’

‘So, where’s her dad? Do you know?’

‘Last I heard from him he had settled with some woman over in Arizona.’

‘He’s married?’ I question, wanting to know as much as Donny could offer.

‘With two or three of him running around.’

‘He had other kids…’ I say aloud, to myself.

‘He’s talked about you, since he left. If that helps any.’

‘It’s doesn’t…’ I unexpectedly snap, ‘but thanks.’

‘Here’s the last number I had for him.’ He snatches a napkin from the holder on the table and digs through his pockets for a blue ink pen. He scribbles down a set of number on the paper before sliding it to me. ‘My cell’s on there too. In case you ever want to talk more. I’m sorry if I was rude to you in the beginning. Like I said, I didn’t want to be the one who opened up old wounds.’

‘Thanks.’

With that, he’s gone. I sit there staring at the empty space he once took. My eyes scan the paper eyeing the phone number.

‘Are you going to call?’ Justin asks, breaking into the silence.

‘I don’t know.’ I shrug, ‘We should get back to Rocky.’

I climb into the passenger’s seat, without a sound as Justin walks around the car.

‘I don’t like when you’re quiet.’ He speaks up as the car purrs to life. ‘What are you thinking Chris?’

‘How could he leave one family just to start another? I don’t get it.’

‘As you now, my dad and my mom called it quits. He met Erin, they had Jax and Jaz. I guess sometimes people need a second chance with different people. Maybe your parents are like mine, better friends than anything else. I really don’t have the answer, but he does.’

‘I don’t know if I want to call him.’

‘You don’t have to right here and now. Wait it out. Just don’t throw the number or anything.’

‘Okay.’ I keep the response short and quiet for the rest of the drive to the hotel. ‘I didn’t thank you for coming here for me, so thanks.’

Justin looks up from his black duffle bag, walking over to me.

‘Of course I’d be here. I honestly would go anywhere on Earth to be with you.’

His hand softly brushes up and down my arm, comforting me. It hit me. We still hadn’t discussed what we left behind in Los Angeles. I open my mouth but the words don’t find their way out.

‘Justin…’

‘Yes?’

‘What you did hurt.’

‘I know.’ He says nodding his head, ‘and I can never tell you sorry enough.’

‘If you love me then why woul-…’

‘Stop right there.’ He grabs my hand in his, holding my chin with the other. Forcing me to look him directly in the eyes. ‘I know I screwed up. Big time. I know you’re hurt. But please don’t doubt my love for you. You know how much I love you and how much you mean to me. You are literally everything to me.’

‘It’s just like an empty promise Justin. I know you say but I also know what you did. Actions are much louder than words’

He opens his mouth as my phone begins to let out a loud chime.

‘It’s Chloe.’ I say, stepping into the bathroom to take the call. ‘Hey, Chloe.’

‘Hey. I’m with Nikki.’

‘Hey Chris.’

‘Hey Nikki.’

‘We’re just checking in on you. We wanted to see how you’re doing. Apparently after Justin went out you dropped off the face of the earth.’

‘Just enjoying the break, I guess. Taking care of some personal business.’

‘Do you think you could come in to the office in a few days? We have some endorsement offers on the table. Whenever you want to skim through everything.

‘Sure. I’ll call when I get back to LA.’

‘Are you not in Los Angeles?’

‘Right outside of it. Thanks for checking in. I appreciate it.’

‘Don’t mention, babe. Call us. Stay safe.’

‘I will. Bye bye.’

‘So what was that about?’ Justin asks once I rejoin him on the large bed. He was sat with his legs dangling off the bed, as if they had any choice seeing how long they were.

‘Just check in.’

‘Nice,’ he says as he runs a hand through his hair. ‘Are we going back to LA now?’

‘Yeah, we’re going back.’ I look down at the clothes I’ve worn since yesterday now.

‘I brought you some clothes.’ Justin surprises me, walking over to his duffle bag. ‘Just incase you needed some.’ He hands me a pair of jeans and one of my shirts.

‘Thank you, that’s very nice of you.’

‘Don’t mention it baby.’

‘I’ll just go change.’

When I come back Justin is shoving Rocky’s stuff into his bag. Rocky is sat in the corner eating a Steak from the diner we brought back. Justin takes out items and stuffs them back in. Takes them out just to stuff again.

‘I’ll never understand how you can fit so much stuff into such small bags.’

‘I’ll do it.’ Before he could refuse, I was down on the floor taking everything out of his duffle bag. I fold all of the clothes into small forms the roll them up. Once all of Rocky’s dishes are in the bottom of the duffle bag I place the clothes on top of them. It zips up with ease.

‘There.’ I breathe lifting the duffle bag up and placing it on the bed.

‘I’ll never get it.’ He stiffs out a laugh as he throws the duffle bag over his shoulder. ‘Is Rocky riding with me or you?’

‘He can ride with me.’ I say throwing away what was left of the bone he was gnawing on. ‘Sorry boy.’ I hold in my arms shifting from one to the other.

‘Let’s go check out.’

I follow Justin down to the lobby and wait at the front desk.

‘Thank you for staying with us. Please, come back soon.’ The worker says once we were finished checking out.

‘Thanks so much for everything.’ I wave before heading to the parking lot.

‘Are you, uh, coming back to the apartment? When we get to LA…’

‘Most likely.’

‘Well I’ll see you when you get there.’

While Justin pulls his car around, I take Rocky and put him into the backseat of the car. Justin slowly opens his arms allowing me to walk into him. I wrap my arms around his torso hiding in his clothing.

‘I love you.’ I hear him murmur into my hair.

‘I love you.’ I repeat once I leave his arms. ‘Drive safe.’

‘You too.’

I climb into my car in the same time Justin does before he lets me drive out of the parking lot before him. Behind me I hear him honk his horn twice. The ride back to Los Angeles was short and easy. I stop at Petco to get Rocky a large bag of dog food considering just how much he eats a day. When I make it to the apartment Justin is sitting on the sofa staring at a game on TV.

‘I ordered Thai food.’ He informs me when I join him on the sofa.

‘Who’s playing?’ I wonder curiously.

‘Oh just Miami.’ He shrugs, ‘I recorded it from last night. Do you want to watch something?’

‘This is fine.’ I reply, kicking my legs across his lap. He wraps a protective arm around my back looking over at me.

‘You know how sorry I am, right? It’ll never, ever happen again.’

‘I know.’

‘I love you so much.’ He leans down to kiss my temple gently.

‘And I love you.’

I go upstairs to take a shower while waiting for the Thai to be delivered. When it finally comes Justin and curl up on the sofa watching the rest of the basketball game. That night I toss and turn in the bed while Justin sleeps beside me. I leave the bed sliding my feet into my slippers to avoid the freezing wood flooring.

‘Where are you going?’ Justin asks, now sitting up in the bed.

‘Just getting some water. I’ll be back.’

I go downstairs and turn off the television, which we left on. I sit down at the kitchen table with a cold glass of water in front of me but all I could focus on is the black purse ten feet away. I walk over to the counter and lean against it holding the piece of paper in my hand. Next thing I knew my phone was in my hand. It was midnight here so a little after ten in Arizona.

‘Get it over with.’ I mutter to myself.

Without second-guessing any longer I dial the number and waits while it rings. Before I realized what was happening some man answers the phone.

‘Hello?’