If I Was Your Boyfriend

‘Chrissy?’ a raspy voice says in front of me.

I look up, seeing a man who nearly looked just like Uncle Donny. But better, actually. His face wasn’t sunk in like Donny’s and he had a clean shaved face. He was dressed in a nice two-piece suit. His dark hair was held back with hair products. My stomach drops under the table as he continues to stare at me. This was actually happening. Right here and right now.

‘You look just like mother.’ He says after a moment of silence.

I didn’t know whether or not this was a compliment so I nod politely. Where is that waitress?

‘Don’t worry. That’s a good thing. She’s a beautiful woman.’

His laugh falls from his lips sending me back twelve years. Suddenly I’m six watching the old car peel into the driveway. He extends his arms the moment he’s outside the car. I run off the steps and leaping into his strong arms. I use my small fingers to cup his face. He laughs looking down at me as he takes me back into the house. One day, I stopped running outside. Then watching as my dad walks out of my life, never to be seen or heard from ever again.

‘Thank you.’ I speak up looking up meeting his eyes.

‘Oh you do talk?’ he teases ordering a simple glass of water.

‘I talk.’ I confirm with a slow nod, ‘I’m just a bit speechless, as you would expect.’

‘It’s understandable.’ He replies. ‘But I’m really glad you decided to meet me. I’ve tried to get in contact with you. I kept coming up with dead ends.’

‘It’s not that hard to get in contact with me.’

‘Believe me, it’s harder than you would think. You’re quite the important person.’

‘Oh.’ I look down at the menu for the hundredth time I’ve been here.

‘What happened to your foot?’ he says after looking down at the ground.

‘Well, after filming I got an offer to be a dancer for Miley Cyrus. Trained too hard and went too crazy and it fell from right under me.’

‘Ouch, sounds painful. How long has it been in the boot?’

‘Longer than it should’ve been originally. At the beginning of all this I rarely ever wore it.’

‘Stubborn as ever, I see.’ He stiffs out a pleased laugh.

‘You could say that.’

‘I took the kids to see the movie a hundred times.’ He admits running a hand across his chin.

‘Kids?’

I remember Uncle Donny telling me how he had two or three kids but it feels so odd to actually hear the words directly from his mouth. My father went out and had more kids while he left the other alone. I mask the anger as he opens his mouth to speak.

‘The girls, twins, Audrey and Alyssa. They adore you. The boy, Dustin, he’s too into his cars too pay attention to anything else.’

‘How old are they?’ I hear myself ask.

‘Audrey and Alyssa are six. Dustin is eight.’

‘You’re remarried?’

‘Yes, to Isabelle.’

‘How long did that take you?’ I snap unexpectedly.

‘I know you’re upset, you have every right to be.’

‘Why?’

‘Your mother was once the love of my life. I shared many amazing years of my life with her. Things happen, Chrissy. She wasn’t happy anymore and neither was I. She deserved better than what I was doing at the time. I wanted her to move on and be happy with someone who truly appreciated her so I moved out and away.’

‘And you couldn’t stay in contact with me?’

‘I didn’t want to intrude on your life. I wanted you and your mom to move on without me and my constant screwing up.’

‘A call here and there couldn’t have hurt.’

‘I know. I know. I just figured that out too late.’

‘Does your wife know you’re here right now?’

‘She does. I’ve told her about you but the kids don’t know, yet. I haven’t quite figured how to tell them the girl on the television is their sister.’

‘Are you going to tell them soon?’

‘As soon as I get home. I was planning on inviting you to the house, if you were willing. Next weekend or something.’

‘I’d like to meet them.’ I reply eating the food in front of me.

‘You could bring your male friend.’ He hints with knowing eyes.

He was clearly referring to Justin. Speaking of Justin, I wonder what he was doing right now. He’s probably taking thousands of pictures of his new tattoo. I couldn’t wait to get home to see it.

‘I’ll think about it.’

‘I really do want us to reconnect. I missed you growing up, but I don’t want to miss you becoming into a beautiful woman.’

I stay talking to my father a little bit longer before I have Charles drive me to the airport. He gets out and walks around to open the door.

‘You have been a pleasure, Miss. Chrissy.’ Charles extends his hand out to me. ‘Come back, anytime.’

‘Thank you so much for everything.’

‘Safe travels.’

I wave before going inside of the airport. I find my seat with ease and pull out my phone while I wait.

@chrissythorton: Thank you for the amazing time Vegas. I’ll come back soon and for longer next time. Stay colorful!

I follow some random fans that happened to retweet the previous tweet. For the next hour I listen to my iPod, Justin’s songs included of course.

We have now landed in Los Angeles, California. Thank you for flying with us.

As soon as possible I snake out into the lobby passing the people searching for their luggage. LAX was crowded, as it usually was. I let my eyes scan the people, looking for Justin. As I’m looking my phone begins to let out a loud chime.

‘Hey, where are you?’

‘I’m finding to park right now.’

‘Don’t park. I’ll just come out. Where are you?’ I begin heading to the side exit.

‘I’m outside your gate. E, right?’

‘Yes, I’m coming out right now.’ I push the door open to see a line of cars, ‘do you know how many cars are outside right now? How am I supposed to find you?’

‘I think you’ll find the car.’ Justin laughs into the phone.

I look again to see the familiar chrome car behind a few taxis.

‘I see you!’ I exclaim hurrying over to the car.

‘I see you too!’

I hang up the phone as I wrap my arms around Justin’s waist. He hugs me back immediately kissing my head. Cars honked as they waiting in line behind Justin’s car.

‘I am hugging my girlfriend!’ Justin shouts back to them with a smile.

‘Sorry!’ I wave, pulling Justin to the side of his car. ‘We’ll hug at the apartment.’

‘Fine.’ He laughs sliding down into the car, as did I.

Twenty minutes later we were finally out of the airport’s traffic. The night was dark and warm. Typical LA night.

‘How was Vegas?’ Justin wonders briefly looking over at me, ‘and your dad?’

‘It went better than I expected it to. We had dinner and talked for a few hours.’

‘Did he explain to you what happened between your mom and him?’

‘Sort of. He just said how they weren’t happy together anymore.’

‘Oh, was he an alright guy?’

‘Yeah, he was okay. From what I saw.’

‘Well that’s good.’

‘I have two sisters and a brother.’

‘Really? How old are they?’

‘Six and eight.’

‘Are you going to meet them?’

‘Soon, I guess. My dad wants you and I to fly to Arizona next weekend so we could meet them.’

‘Oh really?’

‘Uh huh.’ I nod slipping my fingers through his free hand, ‘is that something you would want to do?’

‘Of course I would want to. If you’re there, I’m there. Wherever that may be.’

‘I love you.’ I smile squeezing his hand.

‘I love you more.’ He smirks keeping his eyes on the road.

‘No, I love you more.’

‘I love you more.’ Justin repeats looking over his shoulder to switch lanes.

‘Have we become one of those couples? The ones who have fights about who loves who more or who’s cuter?’

‘We’ve always been that couple baby.’ He laughs looking over at me for a second. ‘We just never knew it.’

We arrive at the apartment where there’s a black SUV outside the house waiting.

‘That’s my tattoo artist.’ Justin explains as he pulls into the garage. ‘I had to have him stop so I could be the one to pick you up from the airport.’

When we came in through the kitchen there was a larger man covered in tattoos. His arms and neck were filled and I only imagined the rest of his body to be the same. On second thought, bad idea to imagine his body. Rocky was sat at his feet sleep, as always.

‘Okay I’m back.’ Justin announces pulling me along with him into the living room, ‘this is my girlfriend, Chrissy. Chrissy this is Ringo.’ Justin gives me a small push towards the guy.

‘Hey.’ I wave.

‘Are you getting tatted today too?’

‘No.’ Justin instantly blurts out, ‘never.’

‘Well sit down and let’s finish your tattoos.’ Ringo points to the chair across from the sofa.

‘Tattoos?’ I cock my head to side examining Justin.

‘About that…’ Justin pauses to laugh.

‘Your boyfriend here decided to get four tattoos today.’ Ringo outs Justin.

‘Did he now?’ I take my eyes off Ringo and put them on Justin, ‘I thought you wouldn’t go crazy.’

‘They’re not big or anything.’

‘Well let’s see them.’ I say.

Justin carefully pulls his hoodie off leaving himself in a white tank top. His muscles flex as he bends his arm.

‘I got this compass behind my arm. Filling in the sleeve. I got the word love here and the joker. Then behind my ear I have the music note.’

‘Time to get that joker filled in.’ Ringo starts up the needle as Justin sits down across from him. I find a seat on the floor next to Justin legs watching as Ringo eases over to his arm. Justin keeps his serious face as Ringo starts filling in the joker on his arm.

‘Does it not hurt?’ I examine his face.

He shakes his head while offering a small shrug.

‘Well I thought I would be able to hold your hand.’ I laugh causing him to stiff out a small laugh.

‘You can.’ He replies.

‘I wanted you to ask.’

‘Chrissy, will you hold my hand?’ Justin grins holding his hand out in front of me.

‘Of course.’ I slip my fingers through his and wait for Ringo to finish giving Justin his newest tattoo.