If I Was Your Boyfriend

By the time I went up to bed Justin had four new tattoos. As I’m laying in the bed Justin slides in beside me from taking Rocky out one last time for the night. Rocky jumps in the bed laying his body on my legs. Justin sets a few pillows behind his back allowing him to sit up and move channels on the TV. He pauses on an old episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S

‘I thought you would be out cold by now. Traveling to Vegas in the middle of the day and all.’ Justin grins down placing a hand on my back.

‘I’m awake.’ I reply quietly not taking my eyes off the TV.

‘What’s the matter?’ Justin’s voice has changed from amusement to curiosity. I shrug moving closer to him, I take in his scent. Which relaxed me. ‘You seem, down.’

‘I just wonder how different my life would be if my parents stayed together.’ I explain eyeing the crown tattoo on his chest. His smooth fingertips stroke my back, comfortingly.

‘I’ve thought about that a lot in my lifetime. But I guess it happened like this for a reason, you know?’

‘I guess so.’ I mutter causing Justin to grab a hold of my chin. He takes it under his hand, forcing me to look at him. His deep brown eyes pull me in and keep me there.

‘Everything that happens, happens for a reason. We may not understand the reasoning at the time but there is one. Don’t be so down. You’re one of the lucky ones Chris. Your parents are divorced and they both want something to do with you. There are tons of people’s parents who don’t care about them. Yours do. Now be happy or I will push you out of the bed.’ Justin lets out a laugh before bringing his lips to mine. ‘Are you happy now?’

‘Yes.’ I nod clinging to him as he brings his leg back acting like he’d kick me out at any minute.

‘That’s what I thought.’ He smirks proudly.

‘You wouldn’t dare.’ I challenge him causing him to lightly push me closer to the edge of the bed.

…

It was already seven days later. Seven short days went by before I knew it. But then again, don’t they always when you’re dreading something? I had no idea how this was going to go when Justin and I landed in Arizona. Anxious was an understatement, so was terrified. This morning we were going to my doctor so I could get the okay for my boot to be off forever then heading out of California. Justin finishes up with his shower will I mess around with my hair. He was dressed in a red and black flannel with black jeans and bright red high-tops. He runs a hand through his dark wet hair.

‘Do you have the bags?’ I wonder tossing my brush into my purse.

‘Yes, I put them into trunk already.’

‘Who’s watching Rocky?’

‘We’re dropping him off with my mom.’

‘Okay.’ I pull the large leather bag onto my shoulder and follow Justin out of the bedroom closing the door behind me. While Justin carries Rocky I grab his bag and take it to the trunk. Justin climbs inside and drives to his mom’s house. Pattie had a nice size house not too far from the apartment. She comes to the door with her hair pulled back and dressed in a navy blue sweater with a simple pair of leggings.

‘Where are you two going again?’ she asks after taking Rocky into her hands.

‘We’re spending some time together out of Los Angeles.’ Justin answers handing over Rocky’s bag.

‘We’ll be back in a day or two.’

‘You two stay safe.’

‘We will.’ Justin promises before heading back to the car. ‘I’ll drop you off at the doctor then come back with the driver. I don’t feel comfortable leaving my car in the airport’s parking lot.’

I nod while pulling out my phone reading the new iMessage from my mom.

I feel like I never see you since you moved out. I would love it if you made time in your super busy schedule for your old mom. I’m so proud of you and I love you with all my heat. – mom.

I’m never too busy for my momma! I’m going out of the city for the weekend with Justin but when I get back we will have to plan a mommy-daughter day. I love you to pieces! – Chrissy.

I hadn’t told my mom about my meeting with my dad a week ago. I didn’t tell her about the phone call. I didn’t even tell her about meeting Uncle Donny aka her ex brother in law at a random diner outside of Los Angeles. The feeling of guilt was weighing heavily on me. I wanted to share my recent findings with my mom but I didn’t know exactly how she’d take it. Back when my dad walked out she never really talked about him. Or maybe he never came up in regular conversation. During this mommy-daughter day I would need to fill her in. Big time. I’m hoping that she won’t take the news too bad.

‘Alright, I will be back before you get out.’ Justin pulls right alongside the entrance of the doctor’s office.

‘See you soon.’ I say before sliding out of the car.

As I’m walking into the building Justin drives out of the parking lot heading out onto the highway. I go into the elevator by myself, pressing button five. If Justin were here he’d probably press every floor just so we could ride the elevator.

‘Welcome back, Chrissy.’ The regular assistant at the front desk smiles warmly at me, ‘how are you today?’

‘I’m doing well today, thank you.’ I sign in then wait in one of the sofa brown chairs. The doctor’s office was quiet and small. There was a coffee table in front of me, scattered with health magazines. None of them the slightest bit interesting. The clock ticks loudly on the crème wall right above the assistant’s desk.

‘Chrissy Thorton.’ One of the familiar nurses calls out standing in the doorway.

I stand before following the nurse down the narrow hallway and into one of the first doors.

‘We’re going to get the x-rays first then the doctor will be in with you. So do you want to leave your bag in here?’

‘Sure.’ I rest my purse on the examining table before going across the hall for x-rays.

‘Your boyfriend is the one who usually holds your bag.’ She points out with a small laugh before dimming the lights. ‘Where is he today?’

I place one of the protective covers on the lower part of my legs and lay down on the cold table.

‘He’s taking care of something. He dropped me off.’ I answer back as she counts off each picture. ‘He’ll pick me up.’

‘Alright, I’ll send these over to the doctor now. You can go back and wait in the room.’

‘Thank you.’ I slide from the table and walk back into the room.

It wasn’t long before my doctor came in and sat down in the stool in front of me. He cuts off the lights to examine the x-rays after glancing over the clipboard he always had.

‘Much much much better. It’s looking really good.’

‘Am I finally done with this?’ I gesture to the boot.

‘I’d say so. Just take it easy for a few days with running or dancing, or anything thing in that nature. Work yourself back into it.’

‘Thank you.’ I shake his hand once he’s finished with the appointment.

‘It’s been a pleasure.’ He waves then disappears into another room.

When I come out of the back, Justin is waiting in the lobby flipping through one of those health magazines. He stands with a stretch then pulls me into a hug.

‘Now we have a plane to catch.’ Justin takes my hand in his before heading out of the office. ‘Are you feeling?’ he wonders curiously looking over at me.

‘The appointment or the trip?’

‘The trip.’ He laces his fingers through mine walking into the parking lot.

‘I haven’t decided yet.’

There was a black car with dark windows waiting out front where Justin dropped me off. He opens the back door and lets me slide in before following behind me. Up front there was a man who stared out of the window.

‘Now we’re going to head to LAX.’ Justin informs him fastening his seat belt.

‘Got it. How are you today?’ he looks at me through the rear view mirror.

‘I’m good, thank you.’

Justin reaches behind his head and pulls down a black box. He lays the box in my lap with a smile on his face.

‘What’s this?’

‘Open it.’ He instructs waiting patiently.

Inside the box were the tall heels I’ve been checking on for the last few weeks. Every time I’d check the website it would say the three annoying words: “out of stock” I searched for hours for the shoes but that one store was the only one who kept them. Justin would laugh at my constant frustration, he genuinely thought it was amusing.

‘Justin…’ I pause looking over at him, ‘how? These are impossible to get.’

‘I may have bought a pair a couple of weeks ago when they were back in stock.’ He shrugs wrapping an arm around me.

‘But- you kept them this whole time?’

‘I thought today would be a good day to bring em out.’

‘Thank you. I love them.’ I smile kissing his cheek.

‘You’re welcome. Maybe you’ll get to wear em during this trip.’

‘If I’m lucky.’

‘Well you just got that boot off. I’d say you’re having quite the lucky day.’

‘I love you.’ I lean into his embrace admiring the shoes.

‘I love you.’ He repeats resting his head on top of mine.

We had finally made it to LAX and went through security then went to our seats. Justin steals the window seat, insisting that it was his turn to be by the window. Slowly people stared to file into the plane and onto their seats. We waited for about forty-five minutes before the plane finally left the ground. For the flight Justin and I watched a movie provided by the airline. With each minute I grew more and more nervous. I came face-to-face with my father after years only a week ago. This afternoon I would be meeting with his new wife and their three kids, my half-sisters and brother. In time, we land in Phoenix then walk through their airport to the front desk. Justin picks up his set of keys for the rental car and leaves me to go get the car.

We’ve landed in Phoenix – Chrissy.

Terrific! See you both soon! – Dad.

Once Justin makes his way up to the front of the building in the line of cars, I slip into the passenger side. He types in the address that my dad emailed me earlier in the week after I confirmed our trip to Arizona.

‘Are you ready?’ Justin looks over at me before listening to the GPS for directions.

‘I hope so.’