Let's Take a Moment to Reflect on the Past Few Years of Our Lives

ALLIE'S POV

I was woken by a tapping on the window. "What the fuck?" I grumbled to myself. I rolled onto my side and saw it was three in the morning. "Ughk." I was content to just fall back to sleep, but the tapping continued. I sighed and rolled out of bed, cow heavy and clumsy.

I stumbled across the room to the window seat and saw that small little stones were being thrown at my window. And the culprit was the neighbouring twenty five year old lead singer, his window open and a cheesy smile on his face. I opened my own window, pissed off. "What the hell do you want asshole, I'm trying to sleep here!" I yelled, but trying not to wake the street up.

He grinned at me. "You're a lot grumpier in the mornings."

"It's three in the morning, excuse ME for being a little temperamental!" I hissed back at him.

He rolled his eyes, still smiling. "Well anyway, happy birthday!"

At that, I couldn't help but smile. He remembered...but then again he had never forgotten me. I had forgotten him. I still found it difficult to connect him to the little boy in my photographs. I still kind of just thought of him as THE Alex Gaskarth rather than MY Alex Gaskarth. But he'd said if I didn't remember him by the end of the month we could go our separate ways. But if I did remember him...well, everything would be perfect. I wanted to remember him so bad. He was always the one for me. Even in my dreams, dreaming of the lead singer Alex had anger compared to the feelings I had for the thirteen year old boy who held me when a dream threw up a nasty shock. I knew I loved him, but...well I don't think I could love anyone unless they were that small boy. At least Alex was trying.

He pushed some of his hair out of his eyes and told me he was going to come over. I rolled my eyes, but closed the window and found a dressing gown to wrap around my body, which was shivering in just my Hustler Club tshirt and bumblebee pyjama bottomed. In less than five minutes I head my doorbell and raced down the stairs to answer it. Alex was stood there smiling down at me, wearing a hoodie and coat and sweatpants, which I presume he had slept in. Oh and he had boots on too...why did he need boots? I know there was snow but...well it wasn't like we were going  anywhere.

He pushed past me, headed for the kitchen, just like he used to do when we were kids and started looking in the cupboards.

"What are you looking for?" I asked, and he turned round.

"Hot Chocolate, you used to leave it on the third shelf in this cupboard. I remember cause we were never tall enough so I used to have to put you on my shoulders to reach it. Did you move it?" Hang on, we did? I...I didn't remember. Not again.

"Uhm, yeah, I moved it. To the...erm...I think it's in that one over there now," I said pointing to a cupboard on his left. He looked over, opened it and retrieved the Hot Chocolate. "Why did you want it anyway?"

Alex turned round, puzzlement in his eyes. "It's your birthday...remember? We always had Hot Chocolate on your birthday and then we'd go watch the sunrise, remember?"

"Oh! God, yeah, of course!" I said, with a little laugh. He blushed, maybe embarrassed that he was still dedicated to this tradition after all these years. And when he blushed I saw my best friend. I hoped he blushed more often.

We drank our hot chocolates in front of the tv, watching a random DVD he had picked out. We didn't even watch the DVD, we just spoke. And it was nice, just catching up. Every so often I would look at him and see a little piece of the puzzle sink in. I thought back to yesterday and the pale yellow tulips he had bought me, my favourite flower. We had spent some time with his family, and his mother wanted to know all about my life in England. I guess to compare it to her old life there, maybe. She asked about my mom and I tended up. Alex noticed and had squeezed my hand in support. It was nice to know he was there. Nice to know he still cared.

"Right, you done?" Alex asked me as I drained my cup. I nodded. "Awesome! Let's go then!" he said smiling, taking my hand and leading me outside. I stopped him when we got to the door. 

"But, Alex, we're still both in our pyjamas," I protested.

His smile widened. God he was beautiful. "Exactly! It's perfect! Come on girl!"

Guess I didn't have a choice. Alex dragged me to his car, strapped me in as if I was still five and got in the drivers side. I couldn't deny, that messy light brown hair and pair of hazel eyes captured me. He'd gotten muscles too. Was it weird that I found his hairy arms sexy? Maybe. But I didn't care. Damn, it really was hard to picture him as a scrawny thirteen year old. Guess that's what came from puberty. You didn't just get pregnant and die as quoted from All Time Low. I noticed how when he put his playlist on in the car, he became happier. Music really was everything to him. I knew he liked guitar when we were younger, he'd even played a few blink songs for me when we were kids, but I never knew it could ever amount to something like this. To a real career, something he'd done exceptionally well in. Something I loved him for. The very same thing that had brought us back together. It made me feel...happy. 

One of his own songs came on, he blushed, glanced sideways at me, and went to turn it off. "No! Keep it on! It's my favourite one!" Alex smiled smugly at that. Moment ruined. I rolled my eyes but nonetheless sang along.

ALEX'S POV

So Weightless was her favourite song eh? Well, it was in her top five at least as she also said Six Feet, Stay Awake, A Daydream Away and Poppin Champagne made her favourites too. I wondered if she knew that A Daydream Away was written mainly for her? Seen as she was always in my dreams, which had become a problem in the mornings since I'd met he again...if you know what I mean. It would be weird to get...excited...about an eleven year old, even if it was your best friend you now knew as an adult.

I parked the car and tied a scarf around her head. We had the best spot and although she could probably already guess, I didn't want her seeing it before we were actually there. I loved being with her again. It felt so right, yet something still felt wrong. Allie couldn't remember me properly, and I didn't know why. But I was determined to make her mine, properly. So I knew I had to win, I had to prove to her I was still that thirteen year old boy. Because I was, deep down. Now that Allie had come back to me, I started to feel him slowly intertwine with me. It was like a little piece of me was falling into place, and I'd only had Allie back for like three days today. Well at least that meant I still had twenty five days. And then hopefully we would be engaged. I didn't want her to go back to being just a fan. I loved her too much.

I guided her to the very edge of the pier, sat her down with her legs dangling off the wooden planks, and removed the scarf. The dark sky was dotted with fading stars, and Allie and I looked at each other smiling, both excited from the anticipation of what we knew would be a beautiful beginning to the day. "Thank you Alex, this really is amazing."

I wound an arm around her waist and pulled her closer to me, so she was leaning on my shoulder.  She didn't seem to mind. "Anything for you. You know that. Like the time I let you put that damn make up on me."

Allie giggled, and it sent a shiver down my spine. I was right. No girl had ever made me feel like this. Never. "Yeah right, come on, we both know you love make up. I mean look at the fucking I Feel Like Dancin video! You clearly wore make up when you dressed as Katy Perry."

"Damn girl, harsh. But whatever. I bet you fangirled for weeks over that," I rebounded, and to my surprise she blushed. Allie always looked cute when she blushed.

"I may have done...but that was only because my friend Erica watches it repeatedly!" Then she shivered and burrowed closer into my side.

We sat for a while like that, in silence, just waiting for the sun to rise. And after about half an hour, a shimmering orange started to grace the calm waters ahead of us. Allie lifted her head and looked up at me, smiling without showing any teeth. Well fuck me, she was beautiful. The light hit her exactly right, making her eyes and mouth shimmer, bathing her in a sultry glow. We stared at each other, and it felt too soon before she turned her head and rested it on my chest, looking out at the water and the rising sun. I felt her sigh in happiness. This moment, right now, was perfect.

"Thank you Alex. This is just perfect."

I smiled to myself. "I know."

"Remember when my dad used to take us? And we used to sit here all together. Just...watching."

I smiled at the memories that engulfed my mind. "Yeah. I remember. And that one time he brought your birthday cake but when he tried to light the candles he accidentally knocked it off into the sea. He was a good man. He really was awesome."

Allie was silent for a moment, and I wondered if she was crying. Then she spoke. "Yeah. I still miss him Alex. I...I don't know what to do without him. I need him so much. But he ruined everything. Why did he have to go back into that fire? Why couldn't he have just stayed out of it! He already saved enough people! Why'd he have to fuck my life up?" Yeah, now she was crying.

I pulled her even closer and stroked her hair. "Hey, he did what he did because he knew what it's like to be a parent. A parent can't just leave a kid in a burning house and walk away knowing its parents could never be able to live with themselves. He went back because he knew how he would feel if no one saved you. He did it because he was a good man, because he loved you. It's okay. You don't have to cry. He loves you, Allie, he loves you and I'll get he's so proud of you."

"Proud of me? For what? I've done nothing with my life. I've wasted it because I was too worried that I'd find my mom dead."

"He'd be proud because you kept your mom here. And you gave me a reason to carry on with my music, and just look where that got me!" Allie leaned back, wiling tears and staring into my eyes, confusion settling in. 

"What do you mean? Gave you a reason to carry on with your music?" Shit, Alex, now you're gonna tell her the truth and it's only gonna sound corny.

But I took a deep breath and answered her. "I thought if the band could do well enough, then you'd hear our songs, like our music, see pictures of us, come to shows, and I would find you again. And I did. So it paid off. You're the reason I wanted to make a success of the band. You're the only thing that kept me going when times got rough. It's all because of you Allie, so really I should be thanking you."

Allie bit her lip but smiled.  "I'm glad. But I just wish I could have remembered you...hell I wish I'd never left! I'm so sorry Alex. I'm so sorry I never kept those promises."

Tears started to form in her eyes again, so I pulled her back to me, our body heat warming us up so we could stand the cold December air. "Hey, you're here now. Don't worry about it. We're gonna make this work. You and me. The A team, remember?"

I leant back to inspect her face. She smiled small. The A team was our little thing, seen as our names both began with A. "Yeah. I really hope so. I don't want to lose you again...but I can't be with someone I can't remember."

I returned the small smile and cupped her face. "I know. And I want you to remember. I really, really do. You have no idea how much Allie. I missed you so much. I just want you back. I need you back. I miss you. I miss you so much...I...I..." and that was it. I couldn't hold it in anymore. I just cried, letting everything out. Everything I had wanted to hide from her, it was oozing out of every ounce of me. I just felt so...broken. No one else had ever seen me like this. But I had never been afraid to cry in front of Allie.

ALLIE'S POV

I was startled by the sight of a broken Alex. It was like...like he was the exact opposite of every interview, every show, every picture, it just wasn't HIM. No, that was wrong...it was him but...it was the him I knew. It was my Alex. He'd started to come back to me. He wasn't afraid to cry in front of me, just like my best friend. And in his eyes, I saw a child. A vulnerable broken child. My Alex was coming back to me.

So I lifted his chin with my hand, looked into those glistening eyes, and rather than kiss his tears, I kissed his mouth. Soft and gentle and slow. After a while his arms went around me, and we both enjoyed the kiss. It was different to when we were kids, obviously, but I could taste...Alex. I could taste my best friend. It felt...right.  I knew I loved him. I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. 

We already wasted so much time. And at least now I knew he was in there. Okay, I couldn't completely reconcile him with the boy in the pictures, but when I saw him cry and when he held me and as we kissed, I knew it was him. It was like in my dreams I was always able to recognise Alex. Wait. What? I could remember him? I could remember him in my dreams. Oh my god, I remembered him! Alex Gaskarth the lead singer and my best friend both merged into one in that instant. I knew him. I knew him from my dreams.

I pulled back, and sure enough, those hungry hazel eyes that fixed their gaze on me were the same innocent hazel eyes I knew eleven years ago. I smiled hugely at him and hugged him tight. "I remember you. Oh god Alex, I remember you! I'm so sorry, how could I ever forget you?" I whispered in his ear.

Alex was silent for a moment. "Does this mean you'll marry me? Even though it's only been three days."

I laughed at him and answered. "Alex, it's been eighteen years. I hardly think we're rushing."

Alex relaxed and held me close. "Allie, you have no idea...I just...I love you so much. But what do we do with the other twenty five days we have to go?"

I thought about it for a moment. "We get to fall in love," I answered simply. We already were in love, but that was more so from our childhood days. I wanted to fall in love with him as an adult now I had a piece of my memory back. Now I knew him. And Alex knew exactly what I meant.

"You know...there was one promise you did keep," Alex said after we had sat in silence, gazing in awe at the sun that was already up.

"Mm?"

He looked down at me with a gentle smile. "You promised to come back when you were all grown up. And you did."