Let's Take a Moment to Reflect on the Past Few Years of Our Lives

ALEX'S POV

"Ah fuck, it's Rian's birthday today, I completely forgot. Dammit," I grumbled when Allie asked if I would accompanying her to the airport to pick her friend up. Turned out they had both forgotten how soon Erica's flight was.

"Ah, it's okay, I can get their on my own, I can just get a taxi," Allie replied, throwing a jacket on as she reached the bottom of her stairs.

"I'm so sorry, I can't believe it! And I knew exactly how I wanted to spend today too." Allie laughed at my pout, and patted my cheek.

"Well it's not like I'm going anywhere, we can still do something tomorrow, yeah?"

I smiled and took her arm, leading her outside. I called a taxi for her and insisted on giving her the money for it, despite her protests. When the taxi finally came, I kissed her goodbye and started the drive to my own place. At least we had tonight together, the band and crew that were nearby were having a party at our house which would be pretty awesome. I just couldn't drink a lot because I really didn't want to give Allie any reason that I was different to the boy she used to know.

ALLIE'S POV

As soon as I saw Erica, we both simultaneously burst into huge grins and ran to hug each other, squealing.

"Oh my god! I've missed you so much Al!" Erica yelled, not caring if people stared.

I laughed and burst into giggles. "I missed you too babe! I haven't even been gone too long but like...oh my god I just missed you! And I have news!" I said, grinning from ear to ear.

Erica took a moment to analyze my smile. "Hmm...I've never seen that look on you before miss...what exactly is it?"

I bit my lip, still smiling. "It's my 'I'm in love' smile."

"OH MY GOD! SPILL THE BEANS!"

I giggled again at her enthusiasm. "Let's wait till we get home, yeah? I have so much to tell you!"

We somehow got all of Erica's stuff in the trunk of the taxi, and soon enough we were on our way. It didn't take that long from Thurgood Marshall airport, but it was enough to get Erica bouncing through the roof with excitement about what I had to tell her.

I made her wait till we got all her stuff unpacked in what used to be my parents room and settled down on the couch.

"Okay, now you've been all bitchy and not told me anything, and everything is packed and everything, so now we're just chilling, will you PLEASE tell me what's happened to get you all cloud nine sky high!"

I looked at her devilishly, making her wait a little longer. I was enjoying the tension to be quite honest. "Okay, well first thing's first...I found the guy from the pictures!"

Erica's eyes beamed and lit up, as she jumped up and down on the couch smiling and clapping. "Oh my god! That's awesome! Is he hot?"

I rolled my eyes, trust her to be caring about THAT. But...well I was still gonna answer. "Oh yes, hot as extra spicy KFC." Erica's eyes popped.

"Fuck, that hot?" I nodded. "Bloody hell, I'm jealous, I'm gonna have to meet this guy."

I smiled. "You'll meet him tonight, at his friend's party. We're...well I guess we're together..."

Erica smiled and hugged me tight. "Ahhh! I'm so happy for you babe! It's so cute, you and your best friend. It's like you two really are childhood sweethearts...it's so romantic, you being away and then finding each other and falling in love again! And it only took you, what? Five days? Then again, it's obviously true love! And you have been away from each other for so long! But..." Erica leaned away and looked at me, trying to figure out how to word it. I rolled my eyes, knowing full well what would be coming next. She and my mother were the only ones who knew. "Aren't you worried about...well you know...I mean, how would he react if-"

"He won't react because he won't find out," I interrupted her, adamant.

Erica sighed. "Look, Erica, I love you but you need to be honest with yourself. He's gonna find out sooner or later. This isn't the sort of thing that just...just goes away. You have to tell him."

I shook my head. "Not now, not when I just got him back. I...I don't want him to leave me."

"Oh sweetie," Erica said as she saw me crying and pulled me back to her. "He's not gonna leave you, not if he loves you as much as you clearly love him. I'm sure he'll stand by you."

"But I forgot about him, what if he just forgets about me because of it? I just...I can't stand it, what if he did leave me? I can't do this alone. I need someone!"

"Allie, you have me, you have your mom. You can count on us to help you out any time. Okay? And these worries? They're all just what ifs. You can't worry about that. the stress isn't good for you or the-"

"I know, I know...don't say it, please don't say it. I don't want to admit it to myself. Not yet." But I knew I couldn't hide it forever. The five tests didn't lie. The doctor didn't lie. My body couldn't lie.

ALEX'S POV

"Are you sure you don't want me to pick you up?" I asked Allie on the phone over the loud music thumping through mine and Rian's house. The party was already in full swing and it was barely eight. Damn, we were starting early tonight. I could see Jack already trying to make out with Vinny. I was amazed at how we'd managed to get everyone over here. All I knew is that I did not want to know how much it had attacked my bank account.

"Yeah, it's fine, I kinda wanna surprise Erica. She's a huge fan," Allie replied. I could almost hear the smile in her voice, and that caused me to smile.

"Alright, see you in like, what, ten minutes?"

Allie laughed. I loved her laugh. I savored every moment since losing her. I guess I never really knew the value she held until she left. "More like an hour with how long it's taking her to pick out a pair of shoes."

I laughed at her dismay. "Okay, well I'll see you in max an hour yeah?"

"Yup! Oh, hang on, I hear yelling. I guess she wants me to pick between the red and the black...again. I better go, but I'll see you soon!" We said our goodbyes and hung up. I leaned against the back door. It was so much quieter out here, and looking up at the stars...well I knew someday soon Allie and I would be taking our place among them, shining brightly, because she just had that effect on me.

Smiling, I headed back into the house to join the party. Not knowing that when she arrived, our worlds would begin to fall apart.

ALLIE'S POV

Finally we were ready. Erica had her hair pinned up into one of those really elegant loose buns that suited her blonde hair well, and was wearing what must have been the smallest little black dress in existence. She'd decided on the red heels, and yeah, she looked hot, but I don't think her clothes would really help against the cold. Luckily, she hadn't forgotten to pack a coat. I was wearing a midnight blue dress which sparkled in the light, tight at the bust and flowing like a waterfall, stopping half way down my thigh. I'd stolen her black heels, just to make her choice on shoes quicker. Plus, I only had one pair of heels with me and they did not go with this dress at all. I'd curled my hair and it was bouncing about my shoulders in that lose way I liked.

I grabbed my coat and keys, locked the door and were faced with the bitter cold of the December air. We clung together in the darkness and tried to pretend it wasn't that cold through our chattering teeth. Why the hell hadn't I bought a car over here? Oh that's right, because my job hadn't started yet. So I didn't have enough money in my bank. Fuck my life.

Eventually our battle with the cold and the night was over and we stood ringing the doorbell on Alex's house, freezing our asses off. "God, can they hurry up? I'm fucking freezing here!" Erica complained, jumping up and down on the spot in an attempt to stay warm.

"They probably won't hear us over that music." It really was loud, I mean you could hear it from a block away.

But eventually someone opened the door. It wasn't Alex, and it wasn't Rian. It was just some random guy who had probably been the closest. He raised an eyebrow when he saw us, smiled sloppily and slurred out, "Hey pretty ladies, wanna have some fun?"

"Not with you mate," Erica answered, and pushed her way past him, dragging me with her. I felt a slap on my ass and turned around to punch the sleazy dude in the balls, but I needn't have bothered because Alex beat me to it.

"Asshole," he said casually as the guy laughed, massaging his jaw. Yeah...guess he wasn't welcome anymore. "Hey beautiful," Alex said turning to me, and gave me a light kiss on the lips. We both pulled away smiling.

"Who was that guy?" I asked him.

He shrugged. "Meh, I have no idea. But you know, a party's not a party without strangers. More fun."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, especially all your hook ups," I teased. I mean, come on! Everyone knew his track record!

But Alex may have taken it a little too seriously. There was an immediate pang of hurt that was blatant in his eyes, and he looked a little sad. "Allie...i'm not that guy anymore, I was only ever that guy because...well...you left. but it's okay now. You came back. And I'll have you know I haven't so much as looked at another girl in this whole party."

I smiled at him and hugged him tightly. "I was only joking you idiot! But thank you. It really is sweet. I doubt I'm worth the effort though." Because he would only leave me when he found out.

"You are! You really are! You have no idea!"

"And I have no idea who you are, mr I've got my hands all over Erica's best friend. I presume you must be the guy-" Erica cut herself off when Alex lifted his head from my shoulder. Cue the fangirl.

Two hours into the party and Erica was more drunk, less mad that I hadn't told her that Alex was the guy. But she was smug knowing that she was right after all. "You bitch! I still can't believe you!" she giggled as we stood in the kitchen. The guys were playing some sort of drinking game, and over here we weren't part of it, but we could at least see what was going on in the open plan area. Jack was currently humping Evan, who looked incredibly awkward, but not half as awkward as Matt looked stuck between Vinny's impression of alcohol talking to each other and Rian and Cassadee making out.

I laughed at Erica, who continued on her "I told you it was Alex Gaskarth but I can't believe you didn't tell me you know All Time Low but at least now we get free shows and awesome parties etc" rant. I took a swig from a beer bottle, and Erica sent me a funny look. Even in her drunkenness she hadn't quite forgotten what exactly was going on with me, and being all protective. "Should you really be drinking Allie? I mean it's not good for the-"

"Not good for the what?" Fuck. Erica and I both shut up and I probably turned white. I knew I did.

ALEX'S POV

They wouldn't answer me. Allie just turned around, looking awkward, and giving me a high pitched laugh. "Oh...Alex...hey. Erm, not good for walking in heels. Yknow? Cos, like, I could end up falling or...or something."

My eyes narrowed. "But Erica's drinking and she's wearing heels." Erica looked guilty then. And awkward. But luckily for her, Zack came over to flirt, and lead her away to the central party, Erica blushing fiercely.

I kept my gaze on Allie. She looked so worried. I mean, was she...? In...THAT way? But she couldn't be...we hadn't slept together. Not that I didn't want to, but Allie wanted to take it a little slower. Unless...unless she slept with someone else...no. No she wouldn't...but maybe back in England before she came here...shit. "Allie...what's wrong? You know you can tell me anything, right? I'm your best friend...and we're a little more than that now. Tell me so I know what to do to help."

She avoided my eyes. "Alex...I...look you don't have to worry about anything, okay? I'm fine." God, she was killing me right now.

"No, because I know you're lying, and I can't not worry, okay?" This time I said it more softly and cupped a hand around her face, lifting her head up. She looked like she was about to cry. "Tell me, please," I whispered. I don't know how she heard me over the noise. But she did, because she shook her head a little.

"I can't. I'm so sorry Alex, but I can't." Her voice was shaking. I pulled her in, close to my body.

"Hey, why can't you? You know I'll always be here right? I love you too much."

"But Alex, you'll leave me. You'll leave me and forget about me, and I deserve it." Her voice cracked and she started to cry.

Well if she was pregnant, I doubt she was still talking to the father. So she needed to know I was here. How could she think I would leave her? I could never do that to her. Not after I know how it feels to be left behind. "I'll never leave you, I promise. I'm here for you, always, you know that."

"I will tell you Alex, but not yet, not while I'm so...scared..." she cried into my shirt.

"Hey, shh, I love you, we'll be fine. I'll help you out. You don't have to be so scared. I just need you to tell me." She was killing me here, but I guessed it wouldn't do me any favors to rush her.

"I love you too, Alex, I really do...but I just need...time."

I sighed and stroked Allie's hair. "Okay, okay, but when you're ready...tell me."

I felt her nod. "I promise." And whilst I kept my promise, she wouldn't keep hers.

ALLIE'S POV

Oh god, how could I tell him? How could I ever break his heart like that? But I knew I couldn't leave of my own will, not this time. I just wished it would have never got in the way of us.