Status: New

Don't Fall Recklessly, Headlessly in Love With Me

Dark Paradise

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Several days have passed, and today is Chuck’s funeral. Blair is still in denial of her feelings. She insists that she is okay, but everyone knows she is not. But they also know that this is what Blair does; she puts on a show, displaying that she is a strong, independent, classy woman. She comes down the stairs of her penthouse to the lobby where Serena, Aaron, Eleanor (Blair’s mother) and Blair’s life-long maid, Dorota wait. They are all looking at her as if they are waiting for her to do some sort of amazing trick… or kill someone.

Loving you forever, can’t be wrong. Even though you’re not here I won’t move on

They climb out of the limo in front of the hall that Chuck’s stepmother rented for the mourning. Blair is wearing a chic but timeless black dress with a metallic lace pattern on the front, the sleeves and slightly on the back (Click here to see the dress). Aaron is wearing a fine Italian suit with a crisp white shirt and a lush black tie picked out by his daughter.
Everyone has walked inside except for Blair and Serena, who sensed that her best friend is about to fall apart; and she was. Blair is speechless. She’s shaking her head slightly, and holding her mouth open as if she is trying to say something, but it won’t come out. “B, it’s going to be okay. We’ll get you through this.” She grabs Blair’s arm and tucks it under her own as she leads Blair into the hall.

And there’s no remedy for memory, your face is like a melody, it won’t leave me head

Inside, there is an endless amount of people in there and dozens of tables with overrated centerpieces filled with various red flowers. Blair made a disgusted sound when she saw them, “Couldn’t your mother at least try to make this event something that Chuck would appreciate? It’s awful!” Serena ignores the stabs at her mother, Lily, who happened to be Chuck’s stepmother. Lily took it upon herself to arrange the funeral even though Serena said it should be Blair doing it. “Blair is not Charles’ wife! She’s his high school girlfriend!” Serena recalls the argument they had the day after Chuck died. “Blair is the only person in the world Chuck cared about! He would insist on her doing this. She needs this! She needs this closure so she can accept Chuck’s death and move on!” Lily shakes her head in disagreement, “No! I need this! I’m the parent! Blair is too immature to handle something like this. I won’t have this funeral turn into a pity party for Blair Hotchner!” Serena stopped arguing the subject once she noticed how Blair was acting.

There’s no relief, I see you in my sleep. And everybody’s rushing me, but I can’t feel you touching me. There’s no release, I feel you in my dreams. Telling me I’m fine.

Blair ignored Serena ushering and made a bee-line to the bar. She ordered a vodka tonic, not even pretending to take it easy by ordering something fruity with less alcohol. Before she could even take her first sip, she was bombarded with people expressing their almost transparent apologies. The truth is, no one really liked Chuck, no one except Blair. Chuck was a ruthless businessman and he had no problem throwing someone under the bus; sometimes even Blair. And Blair was the only person Chuck ever cared for. So much so that he became completely and utterly obsessed with her; possessive of her. Not that she minded, Blair loved the idea of belonging to Chuck. But what she loved more was that she was the one that reformed the once bad boy that Chuck Bass was famous for being. She turned him into a loving life-partner. But all the work and energy was just taken away from her.

No one compares to you, I’m scared that you won’t be waiting on the other side. Every time I close my eyes, it’s like a dark paradise. No one compares to you and there’s no you, except in my dreams tonight.
♠ ♠ ♠
Credit for the lovely banner
Lyrics from this chapter are from the song "Dark Paradise" by Lana Del Rey