Invisible
The One and Only.
“I just… I don’t understand.”
“I’m not expecting you to understand. I’m just expecting you to be open minded and to try and listen to me.”
“It’s been months, Jamie. You look fine. I mean, what would you do? I can’t see you every day. I can’t make plans with you. Some days, you don’t even let me touch you. Do you know what that does to a guy?”
Jamie was tired of the fighting. He just didn’t get it, though how could he?
Life with an invisible illness is tricky. Sure, you look alright, but the amount of pain you’re in is amazing. While this could easily be used as an advantage, being molded into some sort of excuse for not cleaning the house or running out to the store, it could really be a detriment. Sometimes, it’s hard to convey to others the struggle of going on with everyday life.
“I don’t know, Drew. But you know what? You can’t be that selfish. I’m sorry I can stand in front of you every day and be your little squeeze toy, but I have to take care of myself.”
“I want to be there for you, then. James you can’t block me out. Let me help you.”
“There’s nothing you can do. All I need from you is support.”
It’s exhausting having to constantly prove yourself. Defending your health is difficult, seeing as no one can feel what you’re feeling or see any tangible proof. It takes a lot of trust for someone to just take your word and drop the subject there. A lot of times, people want more. They want to know why or how and when it’ll get better. But what if it’ll never get better?
“I’m really trying, Jamie. I really am. I feel like you’re just not letting me. You’re pushing me away and blocking me out.”
“Now that isn’t true. I mean, no, I don’t tell you every single thing that’s wrong because it’s not your battle. It isn’t something that you can contribute to, so it’s not fair to get you involved. This is my problem, no yours.”
“Jamie, we’re supposed to be a team. What’s your problem is mine.”
“Look, I’m too tired to do this right now. I’ll talk to you later, maybe.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
“I’m not expecting you to understand. I’m just expecting you to be open minded and to try and listen to me.”
“It’s been months, Jamie. You look fine. I mean, what would you do? I can’t see you every day. I can’t make plans with you. Some days, you don’t even let me touch you. Do you know what that does to a guy?”
Jamie was tired of the fighting. He just didn’t get it, though how could he?
Life with an invisible illness is tricky. Sure, you look alright, but the amount of pain you’re in is amazing. While this could easily be used as an advantage, being molded into some sort of excuse for not cleaning the house or running out to the store, it could really be a detriment. Sometimes, it’s hard to convey to others the struggle of going on with everyday life.
“I don’t know, Drew. But you know what? You can’t be that selfish. I’m sorry I can stand in front of you every day and be your little squeeze toy, but I have to take care of myself.”
“I want to be there for you, then. James you can’t block me out. Let me help you.”
“There’s nothing you can do. All I need from you is support.”
It’s exhausting having to constantly prove yourself. Defending your health is difficult, seeing as no one can feel what you’re feeling or see any tangible proof. It takes a lot of trust for someone to just take your word and drop the subject there. A lot of times, people want more. They want to know why or how and when it’ll get better. But what if it’ll never get better?
“I’m really trying, Jamie. I really am. I feel like you’re just not letting me. You’re pushing me away and blocking me out.”
“Now that isn’t true. I mean, no, I don’t tell you every single thing that’s wrong because it’s not your battle. It isn’t something that you can contribute to, so it’s not fair to get you involved. This is my problem, no yours.”
“Jamie, we’re supposed to be a team. What’s your problem is mine.”
“Look, I’m too tired to do this right now. I’ll talk to you later, maybe.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
♠ ♠ ♠
This is something that I feel like I'm fighting every day. I have a so called "invisible illness" (one that breaks you down internally with pain, mental effects, etc, but no visible symptoms ie rash, fever, etc).It's really rough. There are many who still feel that I'm making up every element of my illness or I'm imagining it all. It tears up relationships, and people offer sympathy when that's not really what I need. No one really understands until it happens to them.