Shut Your Eyes

Max and I drove separately to the arena.

I’d texted Vero to ask if she was coming along with Marc, and when I’d found out she was we immediately made plans to have lunch together afterwards. Although I’d only spent a week and a half with Vero before I moved back to Pittsburgh, we’d quickly become the best of friends. She was really the only girl I was close to, as other girls tended to grate on my nerves after a while – the hazards of growing up in a house full of boys. Vero understood my strange need to watch a hockey game in the stands with everyone else rather than in fancy box seats. She didn’t question my distaste for pink hockey jerseys, or think I was being rude when I shot a puck bunny a dirty look. Vero was my girlier other half, and I was glad to have her.

I met her in the lobby after giving Max a quick hug, and we wandered out onto the ice to sit on the visitor’s bench. She wore a bright smile along with a cream colored wool coat and a pair of skinny jeans. Leaving her usual footwear choice of heels at home, Vero had opted instead for a pair of comfy worn boots that slouched perfectly against her long slender legs.

Vero had brought a warm plaid blanket along with her, and made quick work of spreading it out underneath us on the cold bench. We sat as close together as we could, determined to keep warm even though we were right by the rink.

“Donc, Maggie, avez tu avoir du plaisir à la fête la nuit dernière?” (So Maggie, did you have fun at the party last night?) She asked happily. I didn’t know how Vero managed to be so cheery the morning after throwing a party for a whole team of hockey players at her house. I nodded to her question and smiled softly back at her.

“Bon. J'ai pensé que tu avez fait, je vous ai vu et Geno jouer avec ton appareil photo toute la nuit.” (Good. I figured you did, I saw you and Geno playing with your camera all night) She said with a laugh and a small shoulder nudge. I chuckled too, remembering his child-like enthusiasm. I’d stuck close to his and Max’s sides for most of the night, much to the amusement of the large Russian.

He’d even come up with a new nickname for me: Myshka. In Russian, it meant little mouse. When I’d asked Geno for an explanation, he told me simply that I was “tiny and quiet like mouse, but with much smaller ears.” He even joked that now he was going to have to start calling Max ‘Krysa’ – the Russian word for rat.

Vero laughed when I relayed the story to her, nodding her head knowingly and simply stating, “C'est Geno.” (That’s Geno) We sat in comfortable silence, enjoying both the calm of the empty rink and the soft buzzing of the Zambonis before the boys came out for practice. After a moment or two, Vero turned her head in my direction and tapped me lightly on the arm.

“Il s'agit de la plus mignonne veste, Margaux. Où sur terre avez-tu trouvé?” (This is the cutest jacket, Margaux. Where on earth did you find it?) I smiled and opened my mouth to answer, but before I could another voice came floating through the icy air beside us.

“Her darling older brother got it for her.” Kris and Marc laughed at Max’s words, gliding easily onto the untouched ice.

Vero smiled at me and gave me a small wink before turning back to Max. “Well tell Franck he has excellent taste.”

A chorus of yells went up from Kris and Marc, getting louder only when the other boys arrived just in time to hear Vero’s comeback. Never one to reject a good comeback, Max barked out a hearty laugh as well and gave Vero an exaggerated bow. She gave him a tiny head nod of acknowledgement and turned back to me with a wide smile on her face and a roll of her eyes.

“Vos frère.” (Your brother.) Her voice was light and teasing. I smiled and looked out at Max who was getting into position with all of his teammates as Dan directed them. He looked so incredibly happy out there on the ice. It was where he belonged. I still remember the look on my mother’s face when he told her that he wasn’t going to college. As a teacher, my mother held education as the highest priority one could have behind your family and the church.

Max still held his family as number one, and promised my mother that he’d go to mass every Christmas, Easter, and Holy Week, but other than that, hockey was his religion. When he sat my mother down in our kitchen to tell her that college wasn’t going to happen she was shocked. Staring up at him with wide brown eyes, her brows knitted together in worry but she mustered up the fortitude to nod gently and whisper, “Bien.” (Okay)

Later on I would crawl onto the couch beside her and tell her everything would be alright. Max would be great; he’d be just fine without college. And all these years later, he still was. Max was never made for desks and chairs; he was made for skates and a stick. Watching him out on the ice was still as exhilarating as it had been the first time I’d seen him play on a professional rink. The large grin he wore on his face brought a smile to mine as well as I turned back to Vero.

“Mon frère.” (My brother)

*Sid POV*

Practice was brutal. Dan ran drills he’d never run before, pushing us harder and faster than we were used to. It worked though, and by the end of the practice we were running them like we’d been doing them for years.

“Good job today, guys. Enjoy your day off tomorrow, alright?” A collective whoop went up at Dan’s parting words. Days off were few and far between, and everyone on the team waited impatiently for one to pop up. Jordan knocked his shoulder to mine, motioning to the doors with his head.

“Wanna go get some lunch after this? Geno and I were thinking about getting some takeout from that Italian place downtown and going back to his place to eat it. His new TV just came in and the satellite is all hooked up.” Even the mere mention of satellite TV made Jordan’s face light up like a kid on Christmas. I wanted to say yes, but who knew how long my talk with Max would take.

“I don’t think I can, I have something I have to do right after practice.” I said with a grimace. Jordan didn’t even blink, just nodded and gave me a fist bump.

“Alright, well if you change your mind just let me know.” I promised I would and watched as Jordan craned his huge body around trying to find someone. I began turning around as well, trying to figure out who he was looking for.

“What’re you looking for?” I asked slowly, scanning the ice for anything out of the ordinary.

“I’m trying to find Gen- nevermind, I found him. He’s standing with everyone else over by the girls.” I cut my eyes in that direction. Naturally, Kris, Geno, and TK had wandered over to where the girls sat huddled together, talking to Max and Marc who had climbed over the wall to sit on the bench as well.

Jordan and I made our way over, drawn in by the sound of laughter coming from the small group. Kris turned around with a smile as he heard us skate up, motioning to Maggie with one of his gloved hands.

“Sid, you have to convince Maggie to come out on the ice with us before she leaves. The girl doesn’t want to have any fun.” His voice was kind and playful, and I couldn’t tell if the rosy flush on Maggie’s cheeks was from the cold or his teasing.

Max bumped her on the shoulder and handed her his stick. “Come on mon trésor, go have some fun.” (my treasure) She shook her head slightly and used her free hand to push a strand of coiled hair behind her ear.

“No, I don’t think so. I don’t have my skates.” Her voice was quiet, as usual, but could still be heard in the small circle of people. Max rolled his eyes and nudged her again.

“Excuses, excuses. I’m going to go shower real quick, I’ll be back.” He gave Maggie a quick kiss on the cheek, ruffled her hair and made his exit, leaving the rest of us alone with Maggie. With Max gone, I felt more comfortable making my presence known, so I slid up next to the wall and tilted my head in her direction. I figured since I was probably going to my execution when I went to talk to Max, I might as well take the plunge while he was in the shower. A man deserved a final request, right?

While everyone else was caught up in their own conversations, I looked her in the eyes and whispered, “Come skate with me.” My words caught Vero and Marc’s attention, but they said nothing even though Vero had what was quite possibly the biggest grin I’d ever seen on her face.

Margaux glanced up at me from under her lashes and it nearly took my breath away. She was the only girl I’d ever met that managed to stop my heart with only mascara and chapstick on. She didn’t need makeup, and I wondered to myself what she’d look like all done up for a night out. Before I could think about it anymore though, her small musical voice interrupted my thoughts.

“I don’t have my skates.” She insisted with a small smile, her tiny hand wrapped tight around Max’s stick. With the name TALBOT on the side of it, it fit next to her perfectly even though it was a little big for her.

“You don’t need ‘em.” I reassured her. “Just come shoot the leftover pucks with us.” The other boys had keyed in to our conversation, and were staring at the exchange with wide eyes and smiles to match.

“Come on mon cher, just a few pucks. We want to see if hockey runs in the family.” (my dear) Once again Kris’ words were light and playful, and I knew he was just being typical Kris – the French in him tended to come out in his choice of words. Every girl he was on friendly terms with, Vero included, was a cher or a belle. Terms of endearment were commonplace in his vocabulary; this still didn’t keep me from cringing inwardly when he used one on her.

Turning back to her, I held out my hand and smiled. She stared at it for a moment before hesitantly reaching out her thin pale fingers, stopping halfway and almost pulling back before reaching the whole way and placing her tiny hand in my own. It was warm from being confined in her jacket pockets and I could feel goosebumps rise up on my arm.

I helped her over the wall, placing both of my hands on her waist to steady her as she climbed over the slick surface. She thanked me quietly, and reached behind her to pull Max’s stick over as well. Marc and Vero followed behind us, as well as the other guys who made quick work of collecting the pucks that were left lying around the rink.

Maggie trailed along behind me as I skated out to the center of the ice. Kris and Geno were still shooting pucks back in from the outskirts of the rink, but Jordan was standing in the middle busy lining up pucks for Maggie and Vero to shoot.

“It’s been awhile since I’ve played hockey.” Maggie admitted to me in a whisper, the mere sound of her voice causing me to lean my head down to hear her. She was twisting her hands nervously around Max’s stick, and a row of pearly white teeth peeked out from underneath her top lip as they captured her bottom lip in her mouth – a nervous habit I’d noticed before.

“I’m sure you’ll do fine. It’s like riding a bike, you never forget.” She and Vero lined up at different ends of the pucks, since Maggie was left handed and Vero was right handed, it worked out quite well. Marc shuffled down to the net, getting into position and then tapping his stick against the ice twice when he was ready.

“Alright ladies, show us what you’re made of.” Jordan demanded lightly, smiling at them and quickly skating out of the line of fire. Vero took the first shot, which hit the pole, and Maggie took the next, which Flower easily blocked. They went back and forth a bit, with Marc lazily keeping each one out of the net before Vero and Maggie looked up at each other, nodded and began firing two at a time towards the goal.

The boys and I laughed at Flower as he got bombarded with puck after puck, blocking most of them, but letting a few slip in so the girls could feel accomplished. They really weren’t all that bad at shooting, but they were certainly no match for Marc.

Looking over to the side of the ice I saw Max waiting in the entryway, hair still damp from the shower. He beckoned me over with a wave of his hand so I quickly excused myself from the group, claiming I had to take a phone call. The lights were off, making the hallway one long shadowy tunnel. Max and I made our way a bit past the entrance so we could see everyone on the ice, but they couldn’t see us. The bright smile was gone from Max’s face, and in its place sat a pensive expression.

“What did you want to talk to me about?” I asked slowly, still unsure of why he’d called our little meeting. Max turned his attention from the ice and Maggie to face me straight on. He’d been watching her get pulled around on the ice by Jordan and Kris, the slick ice sliding easily beneath her feet.

“How patient are you, Sidney?”

The question caught me off guard, as did the serious expression on his face.

“Excuse me?” I asked unsurely, wondering if I’d heard him right.

“How patient are you? How long are you willing to wait for something?” I thought about it, and a million examples of both sides of the patience spectrum came to mind. Shrugging, I gave him the only answer I felt was honest.

“I guess it kind of depends on what I’m waiting for.” He stared at me for a moment, pursing his lips slightly in thought. He stood leaning against the wall with his arms crossed tight against his chest.

“You’re waiting for something good.” He ventured slowly. I pressed him further.

“How bad do I want it?”

“How bad do you want Margaux?”

You could have heard a pin drop between us. The eerie calm look in his eyes unnerved me. He didn’t look mad, but he didn’t look happy either. A million thoughts raced through my mind, what do I tell him? How the hell do I answer that question?

I opened my mouth partly to answer and partly hoping that words would just fly out of my mouth on their own, letting me off the hook of having to string them into an intelligent sentence. Max beat me to it though, cutting me off with a small huff and a shake of his head.

“I’m not stupid Sid; I see the way you look at her when you think no one else is looking. Don’t worry though, I’m not mad.”

“You aren’t?” I asked, surprise leaking through my voice.

Max chuckled lightly and shook his head. “No, I’m not. But I do need to tell you something.”

I nodded, silently prodding him along. He looked back over at Maggie. Geno was skating laps around the rink with Maggie on his shoulders, Jordan and Kris skating behind him to catch her just in case she fell. Without looking back at me, he sighed.

“She hasn’t had the best of luck with relationships. Her last boyfriend,” I could see Max’s fist clench under his arm, and I heard his voice tighten as if he was trying to calm himself down. “To be honest, he hurt her … a lot. And when that happened something inside of her just shut off.”

I looked back at her out on the ice, holding tight to Geno as he glided on top of the ice, her lips curved into a wide smile. I couldn’t imagine anyone who’d want to hurt her, but I guess anyone was capable of breaking someone else’s heart.

“So I’ll ask you again, how patient are you, Sid? How long would you be willing to wait for her?” I turned back to Max, who was staring at me with the same serious expression he wore before. I gave the question serious thought before I answered him, making sure that the words that came out of my mouth were 100% true before I said them. After a minute or two, I looked up from the floor and directly into Max’s blue eyes – the same ones that Maggie had.

“I’ll wait as long as it takes.” Max sighed and nodded, looking back out at his baby sister. She and Vero were laughing at something Marc had said, looking quite small in the circle of large hockey players. Turning back to face me, Max extended a hand. I grasped it in my own, and he gave it a firm shake.

“Well then Sid, you have my blessing. I hope you’re as patient as you claim to be. Oh and Sid,” He gripped my hand tight, pulling me next to his face so I could hear his next whispered words. “If you hurt her, I swear I will shove your hockey stick so far up your ass you will need an oral surgeon to remove it, understand?”

I nodded quickly, pulling my hand back as soon as Max released it. He smiled at me, a carefree Talbot grin with a bit of an edge, and slapped me on the shoulder before giving me one last instruction, spoken in an eerily calm tone.

“Have a nice day.”