Shut Your Eyes

“Temps de réveiller, jolie dame." (Time to get up, pretty lady)

I opened one eye slowly to see Vero’s smiling face beaming back at me. Muffling a groan, I pulled the covers back over my head and tried to block out the sunlight that was streaming in through the window.

“Cinq minutes de plus.” (Five more minutes) Vero laughed at my whining and pulled the covers off in one swift motion.

“No more minutes. I was given strict orders to have you to the rink by five thirty, and it’s already half past four.”

She hopped off the bed and began to scurry around my room, trying to find something for me to wear. As I sat up against my headboard and attempted to wake up, Vero was rifling through my closet picking out outfit after outfit for me to consider. Eventually she stopped looking and wandered out of my closet holding a sweater and a pair of skinny jeans.

“Margaux! What’re you doing? Get out of bed!”

She laid the outfit down on the bed and walked out into the hallway. “If you’re not out of bed and in the shower in five minutes, I’m going to send a very naughty text message to Sidney from your phone.”

My cheeks turned bright pink as I swung my legs out over the edge of the bed. “I’m awake.”

I could hear Vero’s sneaky giggle through my bedroom walls. Getting up, I shuffled into the bathroom and started my shower. A part of me wanted to look especially nice for the game against Boston. The boys had been on a winning streak and this was their last home game before having to be on the road for a few days. They would have a day off tomorrow, but on Saturday I’d have to send Max off to Canada till Wednesday.

Since it would be a while before Vero and I got to spend time with all of “our men”, as she so affectionately referred to them as, we were making an effort to look nice - especially since they would want to go out to dinner to celebrate their win against the Bruins. And if that meant dragging my ass out of bed so that I could shower and get dressed up, then Vero was going to make sure it happened.

Remembering that I was on a strict time limit, I quickly hopped in the shower and washed my hair – taking extra time to attempt to detangle my curly hair. Over the water I could hear Vero wandering around in my room, until her footsteps entered into the bathroom.

“So, when is your date with the Captain?” I could hear the teasing tone in her voice. Sticking my head out of the curtain, I gave her a pointed look. She had perched herself on the counter and was staring back at me with a wide grin on her face.

Flushing pink, I pulled the shower curtain back into its proper place and gave her a mumbled, “I don’t know.”

Vero made a huffing sound. “What does that even mean? I swear, Margaux, if regular time moved as slowly as you and Sidney, we would all live forever.”

“He’s busy, Vero, you know that.”

“You can’t put it off forever, Mags. Sooner or later you’re gonna have to just hold your breath and jump into the deep end.” I heard her hop off the counter and shuffle her bare feet towards the door. “Oh, by the way, can I borrow your purple nail polish?”

Even though she’d dropped the topic and moved on to lighter things, I couldn’t shake her words from my mind. “Of course, Vero.”

“Merci, mon cher.”



We arrived at the rink with time to spare, allowing Vero and I to meander aimlessly towards family suite where the boys were before they had to start getting ready. Vero linked her arm through mine as we walked through the hallways, making comments every now and then about how cold the building was or how we should have worn different shoes. I had to agree with her there – Vero had practically threatened me into a pair of heels and I’m sure we looked like baby giraffes trying not to slip on the ice that coated Pittsburgh.

“So how is Max spending his last day at home before he leaves you? Putting up trip wires and building a moat?” Vero asked teasingly.

I laughed at the thought of Max attempting to make the condo even safer than it already was. “No, none of that. He’s actually not going to be home for most of the day. He and Kris are going on some strange errand; they’re leaving early and won’t be home until late.”

Vero cocked a brow in confusion. “An errand? What errand could possibly take all day?”

My shoulders came up in a shrug. “I have no idea, he wouldn’t tell me what it’s about. I don’t even know where they’re going.”

“Maybe Marc knows…” Vero trailed off, and I laughed.

“No need to harass the poor man, I’m sure Max has good reasons for being secretive.”

Vero shook her head with a small grin. “You’re a saint, Margaux. If it were me, I’d be demanding answers from those two. They’re too sneaky.”

I patted Vero’s arm reassuringly as we entered the family suite. “No worries, Vero. If and when Max wants to tell me, he will. I trust him.”

Admittedly, it was a bit strange that Max and Kris were taking off on some clandestine adventure without telling anyone else about it, but at the end of the day – that was Max. He did things on whim, usually without any reasoning at all. A secret adventure didn’t sound like anything too out of the ordinary for him.

A small group of Penguins were already standing around in the family suite, mostly the fathers on the team were present, but Max and Marc were also wandering around in there playing with some of the children. A smile tugged on my lips as I watched Max get mobbed by a small team composed of Jackson Cooke and Kody Dupuis.

He caught my eye and grinned, gesturing wildly at the two boys who were tackling his legs. “Margaux, don’t you see this? Come help me!”

I shook my head and gave him a wink. “You’re on your own for this one, Max. They’re too strong for me.”

He leaned down to their ears and whispered something to the two boys before looking back up at me with a wicked grin. Jackson and Kody launched themselves off of Max and ran after me, causing me to race behind the couch so they wouldn’t catch me.

They easily caught up to me, partly because of my heels and partly because I wasn’t running very fast, and each latched on to one of my legs – effectively bringing me down to the ground with them. I could hear Max, Marc, and Vero laughing in the background, as well as some of the other people that were in the family suite.

“You little monsters were supposed to be on my side!” I giggled, trying to wrap my arms around the both of them at once. They began to tickle me so I rolled onto my stomach and tried to wriggle away from their tiny little hands.

Heavy footsteps wandered over in my direction and both of my tiny little terrors were lifted off of me. I rolled over and stared up at Sidney, who had grabbed each of the boys off of me and was holding them under his arms like miniature surf boards. Jackson was still reaching for me with the signature, mischievous Cooke grin plastered across his face.

“My hero.” I smiled appreciatively at him and he tightened his grip on the boys as they tried to wriggle free.

“I aim to please.”

Pascal Dupuis came over laughing – obviously having witnessed the events of just moments before – and gladly took his child out from under Sidney’s arm.

“He’s not giving you too much trouble, is he?” He asked with a grin.

I smiled back and shook my head. “Of course not, Pascal. Kody’s my little monster, you know that.”

Pascal shoved an elbow into Sidney’s rib and winked at me. “I was talking about this one.”

Sidney rolled his eyes at the comment while I looked down bashfully. The grin on Pascal’s face grew even wider as he chuckled and nudged Sid again. “Come on, Captain – don’t you have some warm-ups to be leading?”

“That’s why I came up here, actually.”

Pascal gave Sid a knowing smile and hummed in agreement. “Mhmm.”

He then turned back to me and gave me a light nudge to the leg. “It’s been good having you back around the rink, Margaux. I know Kody and Mae really missed you when you moved, Carole-Lynn too.”

“It’s definitely good to be back. I missed everyone more than I thought I would.” He smiled and nodded before looking down at his son under his arm.

“I better get him back to his mom. See you downstairs, Sid.” Pascal walked off, leaving me alone with Sidney and Jackson.

“I better get down to warm-ups.” Sid said softly and I nodded.

“Someone has to tell them what to do.”

He chuckled. “I guess so. Do you want this back?”

He held out the smiling five year old, who I gladly took back into my care since I wasn’t sure where his mother was and didn’t want him running around by himself. Max wandered over to where we were standing and clapped Sidney on the shoulder.

“Let’s go, Sid. Maggie, you and Vero are meeting us in here after the game, right?” He easily pulled me up off the floor with one hand even with Jackson slung onto my hip.

“We’ll be here,” I pressed a kiss to his cheek before he leaned his forehead against mine.

“Be safe. Kick ass.”

“I will.” He agreed before kissing me on the forehead and nudging Sid towards the door. “Let’s go, Sid. They’re probably waiting on us.”

“See you after?” Sid asked me as Max started pushing him away.

“Yes Sid, she’ll see you after, now move your giant ass.”

Jackson looked up at me from my side and pointed at Max. “He said a bad word.”

I giggled and nodded my head at the small boy. “Uncle Max has a potty mouth. Where’s your mom?”

“Reece had to go to the doctor. She’ll be here later.”

Since Pascal’s wife was already busy with four children of her own and I didn’t want to drop another one off with her, I readjusted Jackson on my hip before turning around and walking towards the kitchenette area. “How about I make you dinner while we wait for the game to start?”

He smiled and nodded before pointing towards the peanut butter that was sitting on the counter. I knew what he wanted – I’d babysat him enough before moving to Philly that I knew peanut-butter and jelly was Jackson’s favorite food.

I let him sit up on the counter next to me while I worked, and he watched me with child-like curiosity. He asked me a million questions while I was fixing his food for him, mainly ones like ‘how do they make peanut butter?’ or ‘why are some apples red and some green?’ I answered them as best as I could but like children usually do, Jackson came up with a question I didn’t have an answer for.

“Do you love Sid?”

I nearly choked on the bit of cut up apple I’d popped into my mouth. “Excuse me?”

“Are you gonna get married? Mommy says that when two people love each other, they get married.”

I stared into his huge brown eyes. He was asking an innocent enough question, and didn’t know why I couldn’t possibly answer it.

“Why do you think we love each other?”

He shrugged and swung his tiny legs back and forth against the cabinets. “He looks at you the way daddy looks at mommy.”

I didn’t know what to say to him, so I quickly handed him the plate that held his sandwich and the apple I’d cut up for him and turned around to get him a glass of milk.

“Eat your dinner, Jackson.”



The boys won 5-3, with Max getting into a fight with Greg Campbell.

After the game had ended and they had showered and re-dressed in their suits, the family suite filled with players looking to collect their families, and Max strolled in with a huge grin and a shiner to match. I handed him the bag of ice that had been waiting for him in the freezer since the second period, which he took before pulling me into his side with one of his arms.

“Ready for tonight’s celebration?” Max loved a good party, and after coming off of a win and a fight, the party was sure to be a good one.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” I admitted with a smirk.

A room had already been reserved at Eleven, one of the team’s favorite restaurants that boasted a good atmosphere and even better food. We’d enjoyed many team dinners there, so they were no strangers to our group, and made it easy for the boys to enjoy a quiet post-game dinner without being bombarded by fans or the occasional newspaper reporter.

“Well then, let’s go! What are we waiting around for?” Max swaggered off in his usual fashion towards Marc, Vero, and Sidney, and I chuckled quietly to myself as I followed along behind him.

As Vero scolded Max for fighting, I poked Sidney in the ribs with a finger. “Congratulations on your goal.”

He smiled softly and rubbed the back of his neck. “Thanks. Kuni really opened it up for me, though.”

“You can take credit for things every now and then, Sid.” I whispered to him and he nodded before opening his mouth to say something. He was interrupted, though, when in another one of his flamboyant surges of energy, Max ushered our little group out of the family suite and in the direction of the parking lot. Sidney and I stayed at the back of the group, following them slowly. Vero glanced back at us at one point and smiled; even going so far as to keep Max talking so he didn’t see us and make a comment.

Before we reached the cars, Sidney stopped walking and grabbed onto my arm gently – stilling my movement.

“What’s wrong?” I asked him, figuring he’d forgotten something inside.

“Let’s ditch them.”

He wore an amused grin on his face, and it made me smile too. Something about him reminded me of a mischievous teenager, and I was mentally reminded that being a mischievous teenager was something Sidney was never able to be.

“What are you talking about?”

“Let’s skip team dinner and go somewhere else. Just you and me.”

“Doesn’t the captain have to be at team functions?” I teased and he shook his head with a grin.

“They can do without me for one night.”

We stayed quiet for a moment, and I looked ahead at where Vero, Max, and Marc were. They hadn’t noticed that we were missing from the group yet. Glancing back at Sid, I noticed he still wore the comfortable, contented smile on his face that he always had when he was around his friends. I found myself wishing that everyone could see him when he felt like he could be himself; because that was the Sidney I liked the most.

He tugged playfully on my hand again. “What do you say?”

“Alright.” His grin grew wider and he began walking again, bringing me along with him by the loose grip he had on my hand.

Vero, Max, and Marc were already waiting by the cars, and the boys looked confused as to why Sidney and I were so far behind them.

“What took you guys so long?” Marc asked and Sidney shrugged casually. He’d dropped my hand before we’d made it back – something I was appreciative of – and now was just standing next to me.

“You guys walk really fast.”

Max didn’t notice anything off with his answer, so he just jangled his keys lightly. “Can we go now?”

“I think I’m going to ride with Sidney, we still have to decide on a few things for the house.”

Max furrowed his eyebrows. “You can’t do that at dinner?”

Sidney and I just stared at him until he gave up and turned back towards his car. “Whatever, everyone here is taking too long anyways.”

Vero pulled me in for a hug and leaned close to my ear so she could whisper something. “Have fun.”

I looked at her, wide eyed, confused as to how she knew, but she just gave me a knowing grin before turning to get into the car with Marc. Sid’s hand skimmed the small of my back as he guided me towards his car, opening the door for me before he got into the driver’s side.

He started up the car and looked over at me with a wicked grin. “Ready?”

I smiled back at him and nodded. “Ready.”

We pulled out of the parking garage and into the cold Pittsburgh night, turning left at the stoplight when Marc and Max turned right. Sid’s radio was on and some indie band I recognized was playing softly in the background. We drove around in silence for a bit, just enjoying the peacefulness of the ride compared to the intensity of the rink.

Eventually I looked over at Sid as he drove. His face was relaxed, no furrowed brows or determined eyes like there usually were. A long finger tapped softly against the steering wheel as he kept with the beat of the song. Curiosity got the best of me as I realized that I wasn’t sure where we were going.

“So, is there a plan or are we just winging it?”

He chuckled at my question and looked over his shoulder to merge into another lane. “Well I figured we could get dinner, but as far as where we eat and what we do afterwards, we’re winging it.”

“Well we should probably avoid anything near Eleven, since that’s where everyone will be.” I mused as I stared out of my window – watching the streetlamps pass by in quick succession.

Sid hummed in agreement and from the corner of my eye I noticed him purse his lips in thought. “What about Tambellini’s?”

Tambellini’s was an Italian restaurant nestled downtown in an old underground wine cellar. It was nice enough that the people who might be eating there with us would no doubt recognize Sid, but wouldn’t come up and bother him while he was trying to eat.

“Sounds good to me.”

He nodded and drove off in that direction. As we drove we made mindless small talk about the game or about recent photography shoots I’d had, but it wasn’t awkward like most small talk seemed to be. I could tell that Sidney was genuinely interested in hearing about what I did and why I did it. He, for some reason, wanted to know the little details, even though the little details weren’t incredibly interesting. He seemed to relish in any conversation that didn’t revolve around himself, or his job.

As much as I knew Sid loved hockey – and he did love hockey – anyone that was close to him could tell he grew tired of talking about it 24/7. People in the media assumed that Sidney didn’t have a life outside of the rink, and that just wasn’t true, but no one ever gave him a chance to prove it. Reporters weren’t all that interested in what Sidney did for fun, because they all assumed that hockey was his only hobby. And though that was partly true, it wasn’t all that defined him – but rarely anyone was given the chance to see that.

I could see the longing behind his eyes for some semblance of normalcy. It was a look I’d seen in the mirror plenty of times myself.

“Shit.”

I was pulled from my silent state of contemplation by Sidney’s soft curse. Looking up, I instantly realized the problem. The entire Boston Bruin’s roster was heading into Tambellini’s, all clad in their post-game suits and matching disappointed faces.

He looked over at me and sighed. “What do you want to do?”

To me, there was really only one option left.

“Do you know where the Whole Foods is?”

He furrowed his brows, but nodded along. “Yeah.”

I gave a lazy wave of my hand in that general direction. “Let’s go.”

Sid didn’t question me, but instead drove straight past the restaurant and weaved his way through the darkened city streets as he drove us to our destination. The parking lot was nearly empty when we got there. I silently thanked the heavens that our Whole Foods was open for 24 hours a day, as it seemed to come in handy quite often when you lived on a hockey schedule.

“So, why exactly are we at Whole Foods?” Sidney asked as we walked inside, amusement clear in his voice.

I chose the cart I wanted and began to push it towards the produce. “You’re hungry, I’m hungry, every restaurant in Pittsburgh is off-limits tonight, and I don’t feel like going somewhere that you will be mobbed every few moments. So we’re going to go to your house and I’m going to cook dinner. Oh, I should probably ask if you’re allergic to anything.”

Sidney barked out a laugh, drawing the attention of the few grocery store employees that were unlucky enough to be working the graveyard shift. If he noticed them though, he didn’t seem to care. “No, I’m not allergic to anything.”

We made our way through the produce slowly, taking our sweet time picking out the things we’d need for cooking. Sidney stayed close to my side as we walked and listened carefully while I explained what we were going to cook. Vegetable Ragout – a comfort food that my mother had made for myself and my brothers plenty of times during the winter. Add a bottle of wine and a loaf of French bread and you had the perfect meal.

While Sidney was busy picking out an eggplant I took a second to readjust the heel that Vero had insisted I wear. I didn’t wear heels often, and it was becoming more and more obvious why not. They were fine for nice events, but wearing them to a hockey game and standing on them for four hours was not what I had in mind.

“I don’t know how you’re wearing those.” Sidney commented as he came up behind me and placed the winning eggplant into the cart.

“Veronique insisted, I’m afraid.” I sighed and Sidney smiled at me before leaning down to arrange some stuff in the cart.

Without any warning, he reached over and scooped me up before setting me down in the cart like someone would with a small child. He then retook his post at the handle and proceeded to push me around in the produce section.

“What’re you doing?” I asked quickly, assuming that someone would come out from behind a shelving unit and tell the two of us to stop playing around.

Sidney just grinned and steered the cart in the direction of the bread. “This way you don’t have to walk around. It’s either this, or I give you a piggy back ride.”

“You can’t give me a piggy back ride in a grocery store.” I pointed out to him.

Sidney smiled down at me and gave me a quick, playful wink. “So I guess you’ve made your decision. Now tell me which loaf of bread you want.”



Twenty minutes and a couple of bags of groceries later, Sidney and I were standing around in his kitchen cutting up vegetables while some sausage browned on the stove. We each had a glass of wine within our reach, and were existing in the comfortable silence of the moment. There was no need to dissolve into meaningless chatter, no need to fill the silence with unneeded words – just the two of us and the soft sound of our knives hitting the cutting board while we worked.

Eventually Sidney broke the silence. “I didn’t know you loved to cook so much.”

A smile tugged at the corners of my mouth. “It’s something I used to do with my mother. Makes me feel close to her, I suppose.”

He nodded. “That makes sense.”

“You never learned to cook?” I teased, earning a smirk and a nudge in the ribs.

“That skill didn’t fit into the schedule.”

“Well we’ll have to remedy that, won’t we?”

“Yes, I guess we will.”

I scooped up the pile of vegetables that I’d just chopped and tossed them into a pot that was already full of hot stock before I turned back to Sidney. “Let’s finish your house first though.”

He groaned and gave me a pleading look. “Can’t we just leave it? I don’t want to pick out furniture.”

“No.”

He made another groaning noise with his throat and I chuckled. “It’s not that bad. If you want, I can get Vero to help me and we can just surprise you.”

Sidney shook his head adamantly. “Don’t let that woman in here. Everything will be end up white and fluffy.”

I smiled at the thought. Sidney tossed his pile of vegetables into the pot and I added the meat before putting the lid on. “Now it has to sit for twenty minutes.”

He nodded and pursed his lips. “What do you want to do while we wait?”

Spotting a deck of cards on the counter behind him, I walked over and picked them up with a smirk. “We could play go fish.”

He gave me a disbelieving look and chuckled, “How old are you?”

“Scared I’ll beat you?” I taunted.

He shook his head as he refilled our wine glasses and carried them past me into the living room. “Bring it on, Talbot.”

With a giddy grin I brought the deck over to where he sat on the couch and shuffled them before dealing him his cards. It was probably a strange sight, two twenty-somethings sitting around drinking wine and playing go fish, but it was nice to just sit around in his house without anyone else’s prying eyes.

“So, Margaux,” He began slowly, still arranging his cards in his hand, “you know almost everything about me, but I know nothing about you.”

I glanced up at him over my hand of cards. He’d changed clothes when we arrived at his house, and now looked quite comfortable sitting around in a t-shirt and some gym shorts. I’d abandoned my heels by the door and stolen one of Sidney’s sweatshirts to wear. His house was always too cold for me, but it had become routine for me to borrow a sweatshirt from him to wear while I was there.

“I’m not very interesting.” I whispered with a small smile.

He glanced up at me for the first time since I’d dealt him his cards. “I don’t believe that.”

I shrugged. “Do you have any twos?”

“Go fish.”

I picked up a card from the pile and arranged it amongst my others. “How about this. If you win, you can ask me all the questions you want.”

Sidney’s eyes sparkled with the thought of a challenge. “Deal. Do you have any sixes?”

“Go fish.”

We went back and forth until we’d almost run out of cards. Sid had many more pairs than I did, and it was apparent that he would win. The snarky smile on his face was also telling.

“Should I start my questions now, or save them for later?” He was doing his best to sound nonchalant, but was failing miserably.

It was strangely endearing, though, and instead of being frustrated I found myself grinning slightly. “Go ahead, Sid. You’re practically bursting at the seams.”

“They’re easy questions, don’t worry. What’s your favorite color?”

“Burgundy.”

“Favorite movie?”

“The Blues Brothers.”

He grinned wickedly. “Favorite hockey player other than Max?”

I threw a snarky grin right back. “Ove…”

The look on his face was priceless as he gaped at me like a fish out of water.

“I’m kidding! You can’t expect me to answer that.”

“Fair enough. Did you move down to Pittsburgh for Max?”

I pursed my lips and thought for a moment. “I suppose in a way I did. Technically I came down here for university, but I could have stayed home and received the same degree, so it would be true enough to say I came down here for Maxime.”

He nodded. Our game of go-fish had turned into simply flipping our cards over to see who had the higher one. Sid’s brows furrowed. “If you came here for Max, then why’d you leave?”

The carefree feeling I’d had vanished. I didn’t want to play this game anymore. I stayed silent for a moment before setting my cards down and getting off of the couch quickly. “I should check on dinner.”

Sid grabbed onto my hand lightly before I could leave. “You don’t have to answer me, Mags. I don’t need to know. I don’t want you to feel like you have to run off just because you’re not comfortable answering my question.”

He looked so hurt, but it wasn’t like he was hurt by me – it was as if he was hurt by the thought of offending me. This great big hockey player was scared of hurting my feelings. Instead of saying something, I just sat back down slowly and continued to stare at him. I wasn’t sure what to say, and I don’t think he was either, so I went with the first thing that came into my mind.

“My favorite food is macaroni and cheese.”

The wide grin on Sidney’s face returned, and he released the ghost of a grip he’d had on my wrist. Standing up, he offered me a hand.

“We probably should go check on dinner.”

And we did. We filled two bowls with soup and grabbed another bottle of wine before wandering back into the living room and making ourselves comfortable on the couch to eat. I leaned my back up against the arm of the couch and Sid sat right next to me, taking it on himself to pull my legs up over his lap.

Instead of having deep conversation about our hopes and dreams, we decided to watch old episodes of The Office on Netflix. I lost all track of time sitting with him on that couch, eating, drinking, laughing – we even finished off a carton of rocky road ice cream that Sidney had hidden away in his freezer.

We spent all night together like that, laughing at nothing, and talking too much; before I knew it, I was falling.



He drove me home at two in the morning, after the buzz from our bottles of wine had slightly worn off.

Walking me up to the door, he stayed close to my body – shielding me from part of the cold night air. I turned to him under the light and smiled. He’d thrown on a beanie, and had a sleepy look in his bright amber eyes. I could’ve stared at him for hours.

“I had fun tonight.” It came out as a whisper, but I knew he could hear every word. He grinned and nodded.

“Me too. You’re much better company than you think you are.”

I looked down at my heels and kicked lightly at the snow beneath my feet. Sidney held my chin between his thumb and forefinger, lifting my face up to meet his eyes.

“Hey. You are not boring or vain or simple or mean. You're colorful, complex, and so beautiful it almost hurts. And for the record,” he leaned in close to my ear so he knew I’d hear him, “you are infinitely more interesting than you give yourself credit for.”

His lips pressed against mine softly, and he kissed me. He really put his arms around me, and kissed me. It went through my body like it had flipped some electrical switch, and lit me up. His skin was so warm, and he suddenly was so beautiful. And I finally realized what all the hype was about.

And I let him kiss me that night with the stars gazing down on us, and the cold wind brushing our faces. I let the snow soak in my clothes and hair because he was all I wanted.